


Here comes the sun

by MyFandomCausesHanaji



Series: It's a new day [2]
Category: Naruto
Genre: (in later chapters), (sort of), Age Difference, Age Regression/De-Aging, Attempt at Humor, Brotherly Affection, Brotherly Love, Cheesy, Childhood Friends, Consensual Underage Sex, Demisexuality, Developing Relationship, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, Everyone Is Alive, Falling In Love, Families of Choice, First Kiss, First Time, Fix-It, Flashbacks, Fluff, Friendship, Gen, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, I think I found the perfect match for Rin and I will fight you if you say otherwise, Idiots in Love, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, Light Angst, Literal Sleeping Together, M/M, Mild Sexual Content, Naruto saves the day, POV Multiple, Romance, Same-Sex Marriage, Second Chances, Self-Indulgent, Shisui is pining, Time Travel, Time Travel Fix-It, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, even Danzou, he is under control don't worry, here and there because I can't help it, nothing extreme calm your horses, there IS a plot if you squint
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-12
Updated: 2018-10-28
Packaged: 2019-01-31 15:37:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 29
Words: 84,898
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12684795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyFandomCausesHanaji/pseuds/MyFandomCausesHanaji
Summary: Cheesy, self-indulgent and completely unnecessary sequel to"There, Naruto, we fixed it"everyoneasked for.``````````````````````````````````````````````....there is actually something left for Naruto to fix.``````````````````````````````````````````````There is no main ship in this fic; it focuses rather equally (from different POVs) on the following relationships:-Kakashi/Obito-Naruto/Sasuke-Itachi & Sasuke(platonic!)-Itachi/Shisui``````````````````````````````````````````````On hiatus. NOT abandoned!





	1. PART I

**Author's Note:**

> Here, get this stupidly short and not-informative teaser-chapter. Consider this a long epigraph before the main thing, hm.  
> It is all your fault that I am writing this cause you all asked for the sequel and I just gave up. 
> 
> The updates will be coming ridiculously slow probably. And this thing won't be too long, so don't expect much, yeah.
> 
> The titles for some chapters are taken from George Carlin's performances (and yes, I am aware, that some of them were him quoting someone else's sayings).
> 
> Proofread: [Himeneka](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Himeneka)
> 
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> 
> Naruto’s:  
> biological age 12-14  
> “real” age 19-21
> 
> Itachi’s:  
> biological age ≈20  
> “real” age ≈32 
> 
> Kakashi’s:  
> biological age ≈27  
> “real” age ≈46

#  PART I 

“We're gonna have a talk.”

“Naruto, I think I've exhausted the amount of talks I could have―”  

“Shut up, Kakashi-sensei! You said you fixed it!”

“We did. Didn’t we?..”

“You did most of it, but indeed we fixed it.”

“You forgot something.”

“We what?..”

“Naruto, you know it is impossible to make it all perfect, of course it is expected that we couldn’t make _everyone_ absolutely happy, so whatever it is you are referring to―”  

“You.”

“What?”

“Both of you.”

“What do you mean?”

“You forgot to fix yourselves. But don’t worry, now that I’m here I’ll take care of this for you, dattebayo!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the next chapter ~~(ahaha NEXT chapter, like THIS one can be considered a chapter at all)~~ : _Naruto is full of questions and stories to tell._ \- Naruto's POV.


	2. (Naruto; now)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Naruto and Itachi are gossiping about ObiKakaRin love triangle ~~(not really, but this way it sounds more intriguing, right? xD)~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I know I said that this chapter would be about ItaSasu feels, but I miscalculated, so Uchiha feels will be in the next chapter (and it will be much prettier than this one, I promise, but I had to get this party started somehow, okay, so stay with me).
> 
> A quick reminder so the timeline is not that confusing for you: in _There, Naruto, we fixed it_ Naruto got thrown in the past in the day he should've met his jounin-sensei for the first time, so I presume he appeared in his 12 year-old body (Itachi was there for about 6 years already and fuck knows how long it was for Kakashi (read: I haven't decided yet)...).
> 
> Also I have no idea where all this is going...
> 
> ``````````````````````````````````  
> From here on out the beta-reader is as usual - [**Himeneka**](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Himeneka) (bless you), who btw recently posted a lovely [Naruto time travel oneshot](http://archiveofourown.org/works/12706662). Go give it some love ^_^

 

Naruto is full of questions and stories to tell. But he doesn’t get to satisfy neither of these urges.

Neither Itachi, nor even Kakashi-sensei ask him about what happened after both of their deaths back there in their original reality, and neither talk about what they have done here - and how - to bring this world to a such cheery state ―  everyone’s alive, you don’t need to worry, go meet you jōnin-sensei, Naruto, we gotta talk with your parents.

Kakashi-sensei looks troubled and a bit upset saying this, and Itachi is watching him closely, his face otherwise impassive. Naruto asks why he is getting some other sensei and not Kakashi, and the man just shortly says, “There is no need.”

Naruto doesn’t demand answers right away only because he is too overwhelmed with the information he’s already gotten and he decides that it might be actually good to give his brain some time to adjust before talking details, and then may be both men will be more willing to share them.

He heads to the door, but then looks down at what he is wearing and turns around, walking back to what apparently is his bedroom in this house to find something to change from the pajamas. Kakashi-sensei and Itachi are discussing something in the kitchen, while Naruto is trying not to drown in the wave of sentimental feels washing over him when he opens the only wardrobe in the room and sees his orange jumpsuit hanging there.

When Naruto exits the room and walks back to the front of the house, the Copy-nin is nowhere to be seen and Itachi is standing near the end of the hall looking blankly in front of himself. Naruto thinks how at ease the Uchiha was when just several minutes ago he poked his forehead, smiling lightly, but now he looks more collected and guarded - more like the young man Naruto remembers, and this doesn’t sit well with him ― if the massacre is avoided, if everyone is alive, shouldn’t Itachi feel more happy?

Itachi sees him approach and looks down at him, and that is another thing Naruto has to get used to - being short again.

“Kakashi-senpai went to see your father. I’ll walk you to your meeting with your team - I imagine it’s been a long time since you walked these streets.”

Naruto suspects that offering himself as a guide is just an excuse, and Itachi either wants to talk to him, or just doesn’t want him running around until Kakashi speaks with Yondaime. Naruto follows the Uchiha out of the house and wonders absentmindedly if his parents are aware of the time-travelling going on, and he is not sure which option he finds less unsettling.

They walk through the small garden and then to the street. Naruto looks around, greedily drinking in the familiar sights of the old Konoha. Itachi is patiently waiting for him when Naruto stops here and there to stare at some stores or buildings that give him the most intense feelings of nostalgia. Naruto laughs and wipes a couple of tears running down his cheeks. It is too much to take in all at once, and he is quietly grateful towards Itachi for not rushing him.

“Your jōnin-sensei is Nohara Rin,” Itachi says when they are out of the crowded streets and now walking past Training grounds. “Previous time she died before you were born, so you don’t know her. She is a kind person and a good shinobi.”

“Rin? I heard this name from Obito,” Naruto says, frowning, trying to recall the details of conversation he had years ago.

“You did?” Itachi glances at him, tilting his head a little.

“Yeah, when he was [_Jūbi_ ](http://naruto.wikia.com/wiki/Ten-Tails) _jinchūriki…”_ Naruto stops abruptly and turns to Itachi. “Wait, did you know that Tobi was actually Obito?”

“I didn’t,” Itachi says simply also stopping. “But Kakashi has mentioned that.”

Something in Itachi voice just doesn’t seem right to Naruto. He folds his arms on his chest and frowns. “Mentioned? That whole war was basically Obito’s doing, there is definitely more to talk about than just ‘mention’ it.”

“He doesn’t like discussing this,” Itachi answers. “Neither of this,” he adds, and Naruto understands that Itachi is referring to Kakashi’s reservation of telling him today about what exactly has been fixed.

“Hm,” Naruto scratches his head and starts walking again, but the hand on his shoulder stops him.

“And while we are at it,” Itachi says, letting go of Naruto’s shoulder when he turns to face him again, “Very few people know, and we all are being threatened with excessive bodily damage in the event of someone slipping the truth to Obito,” he finishes, wincing slightly.

“Huh?”

“Kakashi will murder you if you tell Obito.”

“No, I got it, it’s just…” Naruto shifts from one foot to another. “I wouldn’t tell him, I wouldn’t destroy his calm life like that. But did Kakashi-sensei really say that?”

Itachi sighs and resumes walking, Naruto falling into step with him and looking at him curiously.

“He did, though the words he used were more colorful. He is being a bit... overprotective when it comes to that man.”

“Can’t blame him, I would never tell Sasuke either,” Naruto says thoughtfully. “You didn’t tell Sasuke, did you?”

“Of course not,” Itachi answers with warmth in his voice, and then turns to Naruto and adds, “And I will lock you in a genjutsu you wouldn’t be able to escape from for eternity if you will.”

Naruto swallows nervously, but then notices a slight tilt in Itachi’s lips, and laughs with relief.

“Say, Itachi, that Rin. Isn’t she the one who was in Kakashi-sensei’s Genin team?”

“Yes, that’s the one.”

“But I thought Obito was in love with her, and she was in love with Kakashi-sensei…”

Itachi, clearly surprised, raises an eyebrow at that in a silent question.

“I saw it in Obito’s mind when our chakras were connected,” Naruto clarifies.

“Hm,” Itachi tilts another brow and Naruto just waves his hand dismissively.

“Nevermind.”

“I was not aware of such details of their romantic life, but this would explain a lot,” Itachi says, looking blankly before him with an amused expression on his face.

Naruto scratches his nose, utterly confused. “But it looked like Kakashi-sensei and Obito are together…”

“They are.”

“But Rin… How?..” Naruto regrets the question once it comes out if his mouth - it is certainly not his place to ask that, he never was one to gossip about other people’s relationships like that and it doesn’t feel right for him to talk about his former sensei’s love life behind his back.

A part of him is expecting Itachi to point him on that or simply ignore the question, but what he doesn’t expect is a quiet and exceedingly amused, “Fuck me if I know”, said under his breath, and Naruto stops on his track and stares at the man, gaping in disbelief and fighting a smile ― he is looking forward to explore this new life, that has managed to pull that stick even out of Itachi’s butt if only a little.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am thinking who I should pair Itachi and Naruto with and if I actually should. Any headcanons/wishes/requests?  
> Also, probably all chapter will be quite short.  
> `````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````
> 
> In the next chapter: _Itachi knows he is spoiling Sasuke_ \- Itachi POV, brotherly FEELS, and a bit of ObiKaka gooyeness on the background.


	3. (Itachi; flashback)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Itachi is in denial, but Kakashi saves the day, which makes the whole 4 people just a bit happier.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **In this chapter** : ItaSasu feels (AriaEragon, you were wondering how Itachi reacted seeing little Sasuke again? I got it covered here), some mentions of not entirely rooted out Danzou for matchynishi, and a bit of ObiKaka cheesiness as promised to SetsuYomi (there will be more, don't ya worry xD). 
> 
> Keep headcanons/requests coming, people :D 
> 
> Thanks for all the kudos, comments and subs! You all are the sweetest!
> 
> ````````````````````````````````````````````````````````
> 
> _All the japanese words in this fic are of course completely unnecessary, but no way in hell I am removing them. But I linked the translation/definition to the most of them - the underlined words are clickable._

##  If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

Itachi knows he is spoiling Sasuke and he knows that he probably shouldn’t, but he just can’t help himself.

Not after all that time that it has taken him to see the boy as _his_ Sasuke and not some other version of him. The time spent watching the changes Kakashi brought to this world appearing here long before Itachi did, watching Kakashi himself after recognising him as a fellow time-traveler - neither of them willing ones, but thrown back in time by some twisted joke of fate, to fix a broken world, so it won’t produce more broken souls like they are.

And if there is some irony or even unfairness in this, as fixing those around them, they are staying the same with all the memories of their own fucked up past, with all the deaths and failures, Itachi doesn’t let himself dwell on it, like he has never actually dwelt on anything like that before for too long. What’s done is done, and broken can not be fixed, and mistakes can not be undone, but he has the chance now to at least not make new ones.

He is not intending to fix anything, he is not all about saving the world, as Naruto was, who was a savior at his very core, throwing himself on whatever challenge life would bring him and whatever broken soul he would encounter on his road of life, who would crash his skull at the wall such people would build between them but he would crash the walls too eventually, saving even those who didn’t want to be saved.

But Itachi is just doing what he thinks is right, and if later it proves to be a wrong choice, well, everyone does make mistakes.

And Itachi knows he’s made some, but the way he sees the world has not changed even with the world changing around him or him being probably in what could be considered a whole different world.

He died with his fingers tangled in his brother’s hair,  looking in his own eyes on his [otouto’s ](https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Otouto)face, their foreheads pressed together. He had a lot of regrets, and yet none, because after all Sasuke was alive and was strong, and Itachi was dying - for the second time, with a promise on his lips to, no matter what, always love him.

The face of his brother was again the last thing he saw when [Edo Tensei](http://naruto.wikia.com/wiki/Summoning:_Impure_World_Reincarnation) was dispelled and Itachi’s conscious faded, and it was the first thing he opened his eyes to - a five-year-old Sasuke watching his [niisan ](https://hinative.com/en-US/questions/1624701)suddenly freeze in the middle of the road, staring blankly in front of him.

The sun was warm on his skin, as Sasuke’s little hand in his. Itachi let himself consider if this was an afterlife for all of a second, and then brushed it away. He squeezed the little fingers and didn’t let go, smiling gently down at the most - the only - important person in his life.

There were changes, ones he couldn’t disregard, and not without disappointment he had to accept the possibility of being in another reality rather than being somehow thrown into his own past. That meant this Sasuke was not _his_ Sasuke, and Itachi couldn’t ignore a little spike of hurt at this thought. He still loved him, this would never change, but he didn’t notice that he fell into the same pattern he had before when he was this age, keeping a distance between him and his brother, not really driving him away but not letting him close either, and even if now the reasons for that differed, such behavior suited him rather well this time too.

Sasuke was pouting. Danzō was pushing. Itachi didn’t budge to either of them.

He stayed in ANBU. He probably could’ve quit, but he didn’t know what else he could do then in this strange world, where his father was not rocking the already unstable and fragile ― thanks to Danzō ― boat of Uchiha’s relationship with Konoha; where Namikaze Minato was the Hokage; where the [Kyūbi ](http://naruto.wikia.com/wiki/Kurama)attack hadn’t happened.

And where his little brother was having sleepovers with Naruto more nights than he actually stayed home, and at least half of such nights they both were staying at Kakashi-senpai’s who now mysteriously had both normal eyes, though the scar crossing the left one was if not as thick but yet present, and who apparently lived with an Uchiha, whose face Itachi could not remember but whose voice was disturbingly familiar. Not as disturbing though as how obnoxiously loud and almost immature that man was for his age _and_ for being an Uchiha, that even hyperactive little Naruto could not overyell him ― not for lack of trying, as Itachi bore witness every time he went to pick Sasuke from his sleepover in that horrible place.

Sasuke would be fidgety for the rest of the day after spending the whole night with the two fatuous fools, who were acting as if they _both_ were 6 years-old, but one of them for some reason wasn’t. Itachi wasn’t sure what this Kakashi, who he actually found rather similar to the one he remembered ― which was actually surprising considering that this Kakashi hasn’t had to suffer through the deaths of both of his companions and seemed to have a rather calm, when not on the ANBU missions, life with his partner ― had found in this Uchiha. But Itachi was not going to judge, especially seeing how his senpai is looking at the man when he is not watching, then turning to Itachi and giving him what was probably intended to be an apologetic eyes-smile but every time grew into something nearly self-proud, which would more fit on the face of a father looking at the achievements of his kid, or even some inventor watching his creation work.

Itachi didn’t know what to make of that and so decided to not even bother.

And then one day Kakashi-senpai stopped him after the rest of the ANBU left the changing room at the end of the day and gave him a somewhat vague talk about the importance of right priorities and making decisions based on his own observations rather than forced on by someone with more power.

Itachi was listening to him with his usual impassive look, thinking that in the different circumstances that day would be exactly one month before the day when he had to murder his whole clan following Danzō’s order and his own - childish - belief that he was doing the right thing. But in the world he was now, the tension between Uchiha and the village if not entirely nonexistent, was yet not even close to the point when it could demand for some extreme measures to be taken in order to preserve peace in Konoha. Danzō still had some personal grudges towards the Uchiha clan, and apparently considered them a future threat, Itachi’s own father was not fully satisfied with some actions taken by the Hokage and the Council these last few years, but Itachi saw all that as easily solvable, once Minato would realise, that the only thing he needed to do is to revoke the obviously wrong decision made by the [Nidaime ](http://naruto.wikia.com/wiki/Tobirama_Senju)back in the days, who shoved the whole clan in the secluded compound, for some reason thinking that that way they would present less danger.

So there was hardly any reason for Kakashi giving him that solemn spiel, especially considering that he had no reason to know about the hostile tendencies Danzō had towards Uchiha and his - rather fruitless - attempts to brainwash Itachi.

Itachi weighed a few possibilities, remembered how Kakashi now was never using Raikiri due, as Itachi suspected, to the mere impossibility of using that technique without a Sharingan, and yet he’d witnessed his senpai execute several other jutsus he shouldn’t have known in the first place. He watched two serious dark eyes that he knew quite well, and yet he shouldn’t have, as everything here in this place was so foreign and different, that it made Itachi feel inexplicably lonely.

Kakashi was still talking when Itachi interrupted him, saying quietly, that he wouldn’t do this again, that there was no _need_ to do this again, and promised to take care of any possibility of discontent among Uchiha.

Kakashi’s eyes widened and then he all somewhat sagged, looking suddenly old and tired. He put a hand on Itachi’s shoulder, squeezed a little and just left it there for several moments in that gesture they both has repeated more than once after that ― not exactly an attempt to support the other and not a request to be supported, but perhaps something in between or maybe both at the same time, but definitely saying, “You are not alone here.”  

Kakashi quit ANBU the next day, explaining to Itachi that he wouldn’t even be there in the first place if not for the feeling that it was the best place to keep an eye on his [kōhai](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Senpai_and_k%C5%8Dhai). Both him and Obito were seen that day getting ridiculously drunk, and then they completely vanished from Konoha’s streets for three days.

Itachi had no interest in humoring himself with guesses of what the couple was busy with, but unfortunately Shisui took it as his personal obligation to follow Itachi during these days, describing with great details the activities two grown up men in romantic relationship could be engaged behind closed doors, looking a bit too smug while he was doing it, and Itachi suspected, that his cousin, being a friend of Obito ―   _of course.._. ―  knew something that Itachi didn’t.

The couple appeared soon enough, Obito with the widest grin Itachi had ever seen him and Kakashi visibly fighting to keep his usual unimpressed look on his face, but gloriously failing. They announced their engagement ― Obito did, actually, while Kakashi was staring at him with an expression of marvel and disbelief, but clearly happy out of his mind.

Itachi just smiled to his [itoko](https://www.nihongomaster.com/dictionary/entry/32052/itoko-juukei), walked to Kakashi and squeezed his shoulder, receiving a grateful short nod.

Only then, when he returned home in the evening and was greeted by Sasuke’s wide smile and adoring eyes, Itachi’s brain, finally free of Shisui overflowing his information filed with useless pornographic facts, caught up with the implications of what Kakashi unintentionally revealed to him three days ago.

Sasuke was jabbering about his day in the Academy when Itachi stepped closer to him, knelt down and grabbed _his_ otouto by the shoulders, pulling him in a tight hug. The boy trailed off, startled by the unexpected affection from his niisan, and then circled his arms around Itachi’s neck and laughed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the next chapter: _Turns out pretending to be a 12-year-old is much easier than Naruto thought, when he finds himself in the familiar surroundings of Team Seven._ \- Naruto's POV


	4. (Naruto; now)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Naruto meet the rest of Team Seven and their jounin-sensei and marvels at how Sasuke is different.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Consider yourself lucky - two chapters in one weekend! And all because I had to change the order of the last two. This one is new.  
> The idea for this fic is now this: present Naruto's POV chapters will be alternating with different POVs flashbacks (mostly) chapters.  
> Hope, it's not too confusing =)

## The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity

Turns out pretending to be a 12-year-old is much easier than Naruto thought, when he finds himself in the familiar surroundings of Team Seven. Sakura is exactly the same as he remembers, and even Sasuke, though not as edgy as he used to, acts his usual arrogant Sasuke’s self, which makes Naruto stare at him in confusion. Naruto feels as if he has been dragged back in time, and if technically the feeling is perfectly accurate, it still gives him a touch of unease - the Team Seven dynamics is way too close to how it was in his time, except that Sasuke is calling him a simple baka and other similar insults, that sound almost half-hearted, but never a [dobe](https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=dobe). It shouldn't be like that, should it? This morning Sasuke was almost Naruto’s level of cheerfulness, showing him affection and concern so not typical for the Uchiha Naruto knows.

He is so lost in this musings, that he hardly pays attention to what is happening, and snaps out of it only because of Sasuke actually slapping the back of his head with, “Oi, moron, it’s your turn.”

Naruto blinks and looks at grumpy Sasuke first, and then at Rin, who is standing in front of them, smiling lightly.

“We are doing some introductions, and I asked you all to show me your favorite jutsu, Naruto-kun,” she says.

“Ah, sorry, sensei,” Naruto answers, automatically bringing his hands together in a familiar sign, not even giving it much thought, when he says, “[Kage Bunshin](http://naruto.wikia.com/wiki/Shadow_Clone_Technique) no jutsu!” And only when four clones appear behind him he realises that he just made a horrible mistake.

He freezes, his eyes widen, and he opens his mouth in attempt to explain himself, but Rin just nods as if not surprised at all and turns to Sakura.

Naruto’s mind goes blank, one of his clones disappears with a puff, leaving him with memories of a kunai in his side and Sasuke’s whisper of, “Wait till my Sharingan awakens, and no amount of clones will save your ass,” in his ear.

“Huh?” Naruto says, and receives another slap to the back of his head from the Uchiha, who is not even looking at him.

What _is_ with this boy?! What’s with the violent tendencies, really? As far as Naruto understands, no Uchiha Massacre happened in this world ― shouldn’t Sasuke be a little less homicidal? Where is Itachi looking?! Naruto will need to talk to him later.

And what’s with no reaction to the clones? Is he smart in this world, or what?

“[Ano](https://www.italki.com/question/300688), Sasuke?” Naruto whispers, nudging the boy lightly. “Remind me where I placed in Genin exams?”

Sasuke turns to him and the look on his face is all too familiar but with a slightest bit of surprise.

“Did you hit your head, baka? You were right below me, and don’t let it go to your head -  this is how it’s going to stay.”

Well, that would explain the lack of “dobe” in Sasuke’s insults...

The thought of years of his childhood spent actually _studying_ , probably thanks to, as Naruto suspects, his parents _and_ Kakashi-sensei’s combined efforts, sends a shiver down his spine and he can’t be more happy about being sent to his 12-year-old body when the most of the studying is probably already behind him.

He then turns his attention to their sensei. Rin is nice and friendly, and not in a way that Sakura pretends to be now, hiding her violent scary self behind fake smiles, but actually _nice_. And Naruto smiles, happy for Kakashi-sensei that he was able to prevent both unfortunate events with his teammates, that last time led to such destructive results.

He wonders why Kakashi is not their sensei now, and makes a mental note to ask him that. Along with million other questions, that are swarming in his mind now ― Itachi said the man avoids talking about that, but that just means Itachi hasn’t asked him insistently enough to make him. Now that  Naruto is here, he is going to make sure to drag all the answers from his former sensei ― after all Naruto needs this knowledge to be able to accommodate to this changed world as fast as possible.  

He proceeds with the day and some training with his team, more thoughtful of what jutsus to use, but not restricting himself too much. He ignores the throbbing unfamiliar emptiness in the place where he used to feel Kurama and his chakra, focusing more on the little changes in his teammates that were not so visible in the beginning.

Sakura is obviously pining for Sasuke, and there is nothing new in this, except that she acknowledges Naruto’s presence a bit more, and throwing at him murderous glances, that look almost like jealousy, when Sasuke “hmms” approvingly when Naruto does something right, teasing him with, “Is that all you can do?”, all the way smiling.

Which is another change, that settles two images of Sasuke, from today’s morning and the one Naruto sees now, in Naruto’s head ― the Uchiha is definitely different, unbent and even friendly in his own way. But Naruto sees the presence of the Sasuke he knows in the boy ― ambitious, competitive, powerful even now, when he doesn’t have his Sharingan yet - in fact stronger than Naruto remembers Sasuke to be - and well aware of this power, which makes him look arrogant, but it is nothing Naruto hasn’t dealt with before.

And this Sasuke acknowledges Naruto. Just like that, or perhaps it took some effort that Naruto is not aware of, but the result is that they are friends and rivals, and all what Naruto wanted to see in Sasuke when they both were kids.

Naruto spends the whole lot of two seconds thinking, that it is not _his_ Sasuke, as all the people here, in this too changed world, are not _his_ , but other versions of themselves. The thought doesn’t linger. _He_ might be the one who is a stranger in this world and to these people, but they are the same ones who he knows and loves, albeit being slightly different. And though he will miss those he has seen die, and those he left when he died himself only to wake up here, he will love these ones all the same and will work towards making himself a rightful part of this new world.

And not having his nine-tailed friend with him now is certainly not the highest price to pay for this opportunity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: _Kakashi changed the day Rin was kidnapped_ \- Obito's POV (the whole chapter of ObiKaka rainbows!)


	5. (Obito; flashback)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kakashi behaves like a knight in a shining armor, which drags Obito's attention, which results in Obito dragging Kakashi right from under Rin's nose (poor Rin, don't worry, you will meet you own knight in a shining armor soon enough).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ObiKakaObi goodness, everybody!
> 
> I watched Kakashi's face reveal and Obito's death episodes this week (yeah, I'm finishing watching anime only now, don't judge me), and I am full of feels that are killing me (also it made me realise I fucked up some details in _There, Naruto, we fixed it_ , cause writing post-canon fic before finish watching canon was actually not very smart).
> 
> This chapter is bigger than I planned, cuz I got carried away with these two, I'm sure you understand xD
> 
> Also, this thing now has a plot! Sorta. I know it's hard to see now, but trust me - it'll be there. I have planned about 11 chapters already, all what's left is to actually finish writing them xD
> 
>  **Warning here for those with a sensitive moral:** implied underage (non-explicit sex), depending whether 16 y.o. is the age of consent in your country or not. If it's not comfortable for you to read, skip from the point the things start heating up till the tilda (~).

Kakashi changed the day Rin was kidnapped.

They were arguing again, it was the same argument they had had before, but that time, it was more heated. But Kakashi suddenly stilled in the middle of the phrase, eyes wide, looking at Obito, who used the pause to try and convince the other boy again, that Rin was more important than any mission. He wasn’t even able to finish, when Kakashi jolted to his side, grabbed his arm and tugged him in the direction where the Iwa nins took Rin.

Obito wasn’t going to question the sudden change of mind of his teammate then, and as the mission took all of their attention, he didn’t have any time to think of it much. Despite his efforts, his teammate had been hurt, and he still felt a strange mixture of pride and terror at the awakening of his Sharingan. Kakashi hadn’t berated him for the scar he would bore, even if it was due to his slowness and even if the wound could have cost him his eye.

After the three of them were safe and finished with their mission, Obito was too busy trying not to drown himself in self-pity, when Kakashi, who, while staying polite, had never been particularly friendly to Rin ― or to anyone in fact ― was suddenly acting all kind and caring around Obito’s crush. The irony of the situation made it all the more biting. He had wanted for Kakashi to notice how perfect Rin was for so long. It was not only jealousy that was driving Obito crazy, but the unpleasant feeling of beeing a third wheel. He felt left out even more than before.

After several months of this torture, his self-loathing became apparent enough for Minato-sensei to notice and talk to the boy. Obito was whining that it was just a matter of time until his two teammates would start dating. Minato-sensei was laughing and ruffling his hair. He told him he was not seeing the full picture, and suggested to watch Kakashi more closely, rather than focus his whole attention on Rin.

It was only then that he was able to notice ― and how had he managed to even miss that before? ― that not only Rin, but himself were in the focus of Kakashi’s sudden attention, and there were even more unexpected changes.

Yes, Kakashi was indeed smiling to Rin too often for Obito’s liking, but now that he was watching, he noticed Kakashi unmistakably approving glances directed at Obito when they were training. He stopped making comments about Obito being late, and, to Obito’s immense surprise, was actually not as punctual himself as he had used to be.

The missions were going smoother, when Kakashi didn’t provoke arguments with one of his comments, and Obito couldn’t ignore how well the three of them worked together.

It was a year later that Obito realised that he had been really enjoying Kakashi’s company, not less than Rin’s. He also noticed that Kakashi would stare at him longer than necessary and would always try to be closer to the other boy, his eyes-smile almost always present.

It was a few years later when Obito stopped in his track in the middle of the street, struck by the realisation that it had been _at least_ a month that he hadn’t  even thought of Rin once, not in romantic terms anyway ― the girl still was precious and important to him, but apparently there was very little left of his crush on her. Instead he realised he was spending more time than could be considered normal, musing about how Kakashi’s hair would feel to the touch, and if the hidden part of his face was as attractive as the visible one.

He ditched the training that day. Well, he tried at least, stuffing himself between a kitchen counter and a wall in his house, pressing his palms to his warm cheeks that were definitely as red as a tomato, and staring with his eyes wide open at the floor ― he’d found out very fast that squeezing his eyes or even blinking too often was making his mind show him all kinds of unwanted, embarrassing - _so delicious_ \- images of the type that teenager’s brain could produce in unlimited amounts given the name of the romantic crush as a trigger.

About an hour later, Rin delicately knocked at his door and walked in slowly after his answer, and only then he realised, that he’d made her wait for him all this time ― Kakashi was out of the village on ANBU mission, and Obito had asked Rin to train with him since both had a free day.

Her eyes widened in surprise and worry when she saw him sitting on the floor in the corner.

She was kneeling in front of him, holding his hands in hers, looking at him with a warm patient smile, when he reassured her that he was fine - physically at least. She was always ready to give this warm silent support to anyone who needed it, the girl with the kindest heart, she had always been there for him all those years, and he was eternally grateful.

He loved her endlessly, he would kill and die for her, and he knew Kakashi would too, and nothing would ever change that.

But now that he was older, he knew love could be of different types.

“Rin, I think I’m in love with Kakashi.”

He saw her lips twitch a little, she blinked and then smiled wider and ― how was it even possible? ― warmer. He knew that if it was a reaction of surprise, it was not all what it was. Rin had had feelings for Kakashi for years, and Obito knew his confession might have hurt her, but they were close friends, almost like a family ― it was only fair to let her know, he didn’t want to keep secrets from her.    

She then squeezed his hands before letting go to wrap her arms around his shoulders, hugging him.

“I am so glad,” she said softly in his ear, and Obito pressed her as close as their seated positions on the floor let him, sobbing in her shoulder, while she was gently running her fingers through his hair.

He was restless for the next couple of days before Kakashi was supposed to return from the mission. Obito was worried that he would not be able to keep his revelation a secret from him, and he wasn’t sure he wanted to, but he intended to try, at least until he could determine how Kakashi felt about him.

It proved quite fruitless, as Obito had never really been good in reading people’s emotions, be it from faces or body language, let alone Kakashi’s, who was really good in controlling himself.  Obito chose to blame the mask though. Oh, that damn mask, how he hated it then. He was almost sure he would be able to read Kakashi’s face if not for that piece of cloth.

He was lovesick and frustrated, and that resulted in several not really adequate ― as he reluctantly admitted later ― reactions at some of Kakashi’s comments. Alright, maybe at all of them.

They even argued rather heatedly a couple of times, stopped only by Rin’s interference.

Obito was upset and almost positive that he was fucking it all up. After one really bad argument, which had started with no reason whatsoever and almost ended with a fight, the Yondaime appeared - quite literally - in the middle of Obito’s kitchen, making him drop the cup of tea he was holding and throw a shuriken at the unwelcome guest out of reflex. His former sensei dodged with ease, smiling sheepishly while Obito was giving him a telling-off for using his [Hiraishin ](http://naruto.wikia.com/wiki/Flying_Thunder_God_Technique)like that.

According to Minato, Kakashi had been sulking. At first the Hokage didn’t pay that much attention, thinking that it was quite normal for Kakashi’s age and hardly anything new for Kakashi in particular. But then his sulking rose in intensity so that Kakashi missed two sleepovers at Minato’s house in a row ― Obito knew his teammate started spending at least half of the nights there after little Naruto was born, up to the point that Kushina would even leave the kid on him if she wanted to spend some time with her friends. Obito wondered if it was a coincidence that those days little Itachi was seen on the streets, clutching his otouto to him, for longer than he usually would. Obito honestly wouldn’t even be surprised if Naruto started calling Kakashi niisan, and he was wondering if it had been Kakashi’s goal in the first place. Obito decided it wouldn’t do and he wouldn’t rest until the boy was calling his self-proclaimed older brother - Bakashi.

Minato-sensei said that if the first night Kakashi had warned them, the second he simply didn’t show up, and the Yondaime had to go to his house to make sure that the teen was alright.

“Was he?” Obito asked, suddenly feeling inexplicably guilty.

“He will after he talks to you, I’m sure,” the Hokage said with a smile and ruffled Obito’s hair. “Go see him.”

Obito was definitely not going to argue with the man, who was not only the leader of the village, but who Obito considered his father-figure, so without another word he just jumped out of the window to the street ― Kakashi’s manner of going in and out of the buildings had rubbed really hard not only on him, but, he suspected, on at least half of the Konoha shinobi.

His resolve weakened a bit when he walked to the door of the Hatake’s house ― Kakashi moved to his old house from the tiny flat he had been renting right after the war ended. What was he about to say anyway? Apologise for provoking the fights? He could do that, but the problem was that he would hardly actually stop doing that, too worked up about all this situation with his confusing feelings for his teammate.

He knocked, and a couple of minutes later the door opened to Kakashi’s gloomy face. He didn’t wear a [hitai-ate](http://naruto.wikia.com/wiki/Forehead_Protector) and his hair was falling on his left eye, making him close it ― Obito noticed that Kakashi adopted this habit after he received that scar over his eye, and he was asking himself if the healed wound still hurt the other teen.  

His face brightened a bit when he saw his guest, surprising Obito, who hadn’t been sure if Kakashi would be happy to see him at all.

He silently let him in and went to sit at the kitchen table, propping his chin on his left hand, one open eye following Obito’s movement when he followed Kakashi inside. Obito decided against sitting down, feeling too tense and uneasy for it, and stayed standing near the kitchen entrance, shifting from one foot to another.

“You’re alright?” Kakashi asked simply.

Obito sighed and scratched his nose. “Minato-sensei said you were brooding.”

“Did he?”

“Are you?” Obito asked uncertainly.

Kakashi lowered his hand and straightened in his seat a bit. “I’ll be fine, Obito, you don’t need to worry,” he answered softly, squinting his eyes in a smile, making Obito wish - once again - to see this smile on his lips.

If only he could see beneath this mask of his, probably he would recognise what Kakashi felt for him. He’d changed, he was much kinder and more caring, but it didn’t mean anything, as Kakashi had warmed up to practically everyone he knew. It was appealing. It was incredibly confusing.

Obito never had a problem of showing Rin how he felt for her before, even without actual confessions, but it hardly was a secret for anyone. Why did it feel so different this time?..

“Kakashi, I…” he started but cut himself off. He rubbed his hands and tugged at the edge of his shirt, suddenly realising, that after he had been finally acknowledged by his teammate, it was rejection he was afraid of.

Kakashi stood up and went closer, both of his eyes open and watching Obito with easily readable concern.

“What is it, Obito?” he asked quietly, putting his hand on the other’s shoulder.

“You know, I…” Obito swallowed nervously. “You know that I love Rin, right?”

Kakashi closed his eyes for a moment, and then squeezed Obito’s shoulder before dropping his hand. “I know.”

Obito moved to take a step forward, but decided against it. He cleared his suddenly dry throat and took a deep breath before saying, “You know, I realised I don’t love her romantically, I mean, she is the best person I know, she is amazing, and I do love her, but not like that, you know?”

“Oh.”

“And I told her.”

“You told her you are not in love with her?”

“Yes. No. I mean…” Obito had been in so many dangerous situations before and never had he been so nervous. He went so far already, might as well finish it before his hammering heart exploded. “I told her I’m in love with you.”

Kakashi sucked in a breath and then silence followed. Obito was listening to his own maddening pulse in his ears, watching as Kakashi took a short step to the kitchen counter, grabbing the edge with his hand, all the way not tearing his eyes from Obito, and, Obito suspected, not even breathing.

Obito had a very strong urge to turn around and run away, but he suspected that he wouldn’t be very successful in this, considering that he could barely even feel his own legs at the moment. His mouth was dry, his vision a bit blurry at the edges and his heart, it seemed, was trying to set a record for the most frantic beating. Basically, he felt that he was very close to dying. Or fainting at the very least. He would honestly prefer the first option ― it would be probably less embarrassing.

Kakashi let out a long breath and let go of the kitchen counter, instead raising his hand to his face.

He took a step forward and tugged down his mask.

Obito gasped and stared, but before he could take a good look, there was a cool hand on the side of his face and soft warm lips on his, and a short sobbing sound, that he wasn’t sure who it belonged to.

He shut his eyes, grabbing a handful of the front of Kakashi’s shirt with one hand and pressing them both closer together by the hand on Kakashi’s back.

He’d never kissed before that, and he was almost positive that Kakashi hadn’t either, but there was a nip on his bottom lip, and he opened his mouth instinctively, and it was instantly invaded by Kakashi’s tongue. He was kissing him greedily, as if he’d waited for it for so long, apparently not even caring much for Obito’s inexperience in this.

Obito felt a spike of jealousy for whomever it was who taught Kakashi to kiss like that ― and when had he even had a time for that, and how come no one knew? ― but it faded away when Kakashi digged his fingers in Obito’s hair, tugging slightly, and squeezed his hip.  

They both were at that age when their bodies were full of raging hormones, and neither of them was a girl, who, as Obito had heard from other boys gossiping about these things, would probably require more coaxing before anything more than kissing could happen. And he didn't have enough time to even think about it, when Kakashi almost manhandled a slightly confused but totally willing and already very horny Obito down the corridor, in the room and then on the bed.

When Kakashi wasn't licking into Obito's mouth and biting and sucking his lips, he was covering his face and his neck with wet kisses, repeating his name in this breathless manner that to this day never fails to make Obito's vision a bit blurry and his dick hard.

_Obito, Obito, Obito…_

He doesn't remember where his own hands were, probably gripping handfuls of that ridiculous silver hair, but he will hardly ever forget how Kakashi managed to free them both from their shirts, pressing their chests together, before sliding one of his hands under the waistband of Obito’s pants to wrap those slender cool fingers around his erection and then…

And then what was supposed to be an awkward handjob between two unexperienced teenagers, according to all those things Obito had heard and discussed with the guys of his age back then, turned out to be expectedly short, but very heated and not awkward at all.

They removed their pants afterwards, throwing them on the floor, and were just lying down on their sides, hands slowly moving, mapping each others bodies.

Kakashi was smiling and just whispering Obito’s name sometimes with some surprise in his voice. His eyes were shining, his lips were red and glistening from the kisses, and Obito couldn't resist from brushing his finger along them, caressing his chin and that little cute mole on it.

Watching Kakashi’s lips - _his lips! -_ move when he talked and tilt in a smile was a marvel of its own. They were buck naked, covered with each other’s fluids, and yet Obito still thought that the possibility to look at Kakashi’s uncovered face was the most intimate part of it for him. He wondered if Kakashi realised that.

“You are staring.”

...perhaps he did.

“Your fucking face, Kashi!” Obito whispered with fascination.

“What’s with it?”

“I can see it!”

“You can see not just my face, Obito,” Kakashi chuckled.

“Sure, but… Damn, Kashi,” Obito leaned and planted a soft kiss on his lover’s - _his lover!_ \- lips. “You look so cute.”

“Maa, thank you Obito,” Kakashi answered sarcastically. “Exactly what I want to hear right now.”

Obito laughed and rolled on his back fixing his eyes on the ceiling.

“But it’s true! And you hide a face like that…” he said with a smile.

Kakashi sighed and started running his fingers on Obito’s chest and stomach in slow circles. “Ready for another round?”

Obito’s interest was fast awakened again by Kakashi’s caressing, but there was one thing he wanted to clarify before they were going to do anything else.

“Hey, Kashi,” he started, grabbing Kakashi’s hand to stop the distracting touches. “You know, you didn’t actually say anything.”

There was a moment of silence, and Obito opened his mouth to explain what he meant, but Kakashi suddenly shifted beside him, freeing his hand and putting it on the bed at the side of Obito’s head. He moved to look down at Obito, his hair ends slightly tickling Obito’s brow.

There was no smile on his lips, his eyes dark and serious fixed on Obito’s. There was a short moment, when Obito thought that he might have said something wrong, but then Kakashi leaned in and kissed him slowly and softly. He then looked at him again, and this time smiled warmly, and Obito mirrored the smile, when Kakashi said, “I love you.”

~

They spent all night learning each other's bodies. Obito, overwhelmed with all the emotions, feelings and sensations out of his mind, couldn't truly believe it was really happening, and judging by how Kakashi's eyes were looking at him, drinking in the sight before him, he was probably in the same state.

They fell asleep when the first morning light was blooming on the horizon, completely spent and sated, sticky bodies tangled with each other, Kakashi's nose pressing in the crook of Obito's neck.

He woke up in the middle of the day, alone, and he would probably have begun doubting himself, wondered if he just imagined all that, but the traces of Kakashi’s recent presence on ―   _in_ ― him were too obvious and tangible to ignore.

He proceeded with his day, fluctuating from confusion to exhilaration until in the evening he saw Kakashi again, and the other teen just smiled at him with his eyes, and later with his mouth against Obito’s, and all the uncertainty faded.

That night they spent at Obito’s but Kakashi didn’t stay afterwards. Not that one, nor the others after that.

It took Obito almost two years of coaxing, threats, straightout demands and a slight bit of manipulating Kakashi’s apparent weak point of seeing Obito pouting  (Obito misses this one ― apparently he exhausted the amount of pouting Kakashi has been going to let him use that first two years of their relationship ― it not only doesn’t work on the other man anymore, but actually can even make Obito’s case even weaker these days) to talk him into spending a night together for actual _sleeping._ Kakashi was pulling and pushing him all the way with an equal vigour, driving Obito crazy in all the possible ways.

It is then, when he finally succeeded, that he discovered the possible reason behind Kakashi’s hesitance of falling asleep near him - the man had nightmares. Not those type of scary ugly dreams that will wake you up for a moment, for you to shake the traces of it off and fall back asleep, but actual nightmares. Kakashi would jerk on the bed, sitting abruptly, startling Obito awake, but not even noticing the other presence at first. He would just sit there, staring at his hand, eyes wide, pupils blown, covered in sweat and shaking.

The first time it happened, Obito was too surprised to realise what was happening and what to do. He sat up too, putting his hand on Kakashi’s shoulder, saying his name quietly. Kakashi jolted at the touch and looked at Obito unseeingly.

“Obito?” he husked uncertainly, when his eyes were able to focus on his lover’s face.

“Yes, Kakashi, I’m here, don’t worry.” It was stupid, he felt stupid. Scared and stupid. Kakashi was definitely hurting, and Obito had no idea what was causing this and how he could help.

“Obito,” Kakashi whispered, and swallowed, bringing his cold and sticky with sweat fingers to touch Obito’s left cheek hesitantly. “But I thought you…” Kakashi cut himself off, dropping his hand and blinking, his eyes more clear of the nightmare haze. “Oh, Obito, I’m sorry,” he said then, dropping his face in his hands, and then suddenly made a move to climb out of the bed, stopped only by Obito’s hands on his shoulder, pulling him closer, his back to Obito’s chest. Silver hair was tickling Obito’s nose, and he pressed his face to the back of Kakashi’s neck, enveloping him in his arms, Kakashi’s uneven breath and hammering heart resonating in his hand on the other man’s chest.

He was holding him like that, whispering something, utterly confused and still a bit scared, until they both fell asleep.

Obito knew, that on the next morning Kakashi would most definitely find another million excuses to not spend the night with Obito ever again, or would try to run off and pretend that nothing had happened, but Obito thought it was a good time for him to finally have a final word in this relationship and told him, that they were moving in together.

It was not even a question, and Obito was surprised with his bluntness himself. But Kakashi just blinked and answered, “Alright,” pulled his ANBU mask down and jumped out of the window, leaving Obito standing in the middle of Kakashi’s kitchen, realising that he was at least twenty minutes late to his job at the Academy, and he should probably get going, but he was too busy smiling goofily.

* * *

[ **Omake** ](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Omake)

"...and she let me remove her shirt and her bra."

"Heck yeah."

"I wasn't even breathing, this is the best feeling."

"Dude, I know! When you are allowed to see something they hid so carefully, it might be the best part of sex, I'm telling you."

"Now I see what you meant!"

"Yeah, I totally agree."

"..."

"What?.."

"You said you never slept with a girl, Obito."

"Yes, so?"

"If you think it's the same when you take Kakashi's pants off, it's different."

"Yeah, with pants it's totally different."

"Yeah."

~

"Hey, Kashi, can I?.."

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because we both need to finish our reports and then I am going home ― I’ve got an early morning and I actually want to get some sleep."

"You will sleep."

"..."

"C'mon, Kashi, please."

"No."

"But why?!"

"I know you get off on that, Obito."

"No, I don't."

"..."

"Okay, maybe a little bit. So can I?"

"I already said no."

"Will it help if I promise not to jump you?"

"It might."

"Ok, I promise."

"...Fine."

Obito rose from his chair and stepped closer to Kakashi, who was giving him an unimpressed look from under half-closed eyelids. Obito took a deep breath and reached to his lover's face, curling his fingers around the edge of his mask. He tugged it down slowly, fascinated with more of Kakashi's face being revealed to him, not even noticing that he was holding his breath until the urge to breathe became unbearable. That was definitely the best feeling...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, turns out Obito has a fetish for Kakashi’s face, I have nothing to do with that, don’t look at me xD
> 
>  
> 
> Next chapter: no idea yet xD


	6. (Naruto; now)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Naruto makes a wild (not really) guess why Kakashi acts so cold with him, but he doesn't have time to process this thought, cause he gotta meet his his dad.  
> How will Minato greet him? Does Minato actually know that Naruto is a time-traveler? LET'S FIND OUT!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It is this time of the year and while all normal people are getting ready for Xmas, I'm drowning in a mental anguish with my buddy depression. So blame all angst elements on this. And sorry for the long wait, I think next chapter will take less time (and be more fluffy).
> 
> Also, thank you everyone who subscribed, and added this fic in their bookmarks. The first number especially is way higher than I even hoped for, and it makes me so happy! Special thanks for everyone who comment, I love you guys, it feels amazing to read your feedback and discuss some parts of this fic with you.

## Life is a zero sum game 

“[Ano sa](http://forum.jisho.org/discussion/585/ano-ne-ano-sa-ano-ma-eto-ne-jaa-etc/p1), Kakashi-sensei―”

“I’m not your sensei, Naruto.”

They are jumping from rooftop to rooftop in the direction of the Hokage tower in the end of the day, and Naruto is trying to suppress the slight anxiety, rising up in his chest, towards the imminent meeting with his dad.

“Um, right.” For Naruto it is not the first time that Kakashi asks him not to call him sensei, but if in the previous life he happily disregarded the request, here and now it can actually be more important, if Naruto doesn’t want other people to suspect any big change in his behavior. He has no idea of the nature of relationship between his former sensei and him in this world, still too overwhelmed with all the new information he is receiving to be able to stop and calmly analyse all that.  “Kakashi then?” Naruto asks hesitantly.

Kakashi throws at him a side glance and after a moment answers, “Kakashi will do.” He is more guarded than Naruto remembers him, and Naruto wonders if it directly connected to his sudden appearance here. Considering the state of the world it is safe to assume that Kakashi has been here for more than a decade, when for Naruto he died just about two years ago. And Naruto has missed his former sensei, while Kakashi has had so many years to forget about everything that happened. Is this it? Does Kakashi see him as a stranger?

“So, what did you want to ask?” Kakashi interrupts Naruto’s musings, and Naruto blinks a couple of times trying to remember what he wanted to ask in the first place.

“Ah, you know, Rin asked us to show her our favorite jutsus.”

“Yes?”

“Why exactly did you teach Sasuke your Chidori again?”

Naruto expects some kind of pause before the answer, but Kakashi says instantly,

“He was jealous of your Kage Bunshin―”

“He was _what_?” Naruto trips on the edge of a roof and almost falls down, startled, but a strong hand grabs his arm tightly, securing him in place.

“―and he stalked me for a month demanding to teach him “something cool,” Kakashi finishes, as if he didn’t notice Naruto’s clumsiness.

“Something cool…” Naruto mumbles under his breath, looking at Kakashi in disbelief.

“He can’t use it yet aside for a show-off until he gets his Sharingan, but I decided there is no harm in that.” Kakashi lets go of his arm and puts his hands in the pockets, staring blankly past Naruto at the setting sun.

“Right…”

Apparently sensing a doubt in Naruto’s voice, Kakashi turns his head a bit and looks at him.

“What is it?”

“He might say he is different, but he stabbed my clone with a kunai today and promised to kick my ass soon,” Naruto notices whining intonations in his voice when it is already too late to do anything about it, and winces slightly.

“Maa, he does it all the time.”

Huh?

“Huh? But why?”

“It’s his way to show his affection,” Kakashi answers simply and jumps to another roof. Naruto follows him.

“Affection? By attacking me?” Come to think of it, it actually kinda makes sense…

“Not you directly. Naruto, he will never hurt you intentionally.”

“Half of my life is about him hurting me, sensei.” Not that he isn’t used to it by now, and sure Naruto is more than capable of handling a 12-year-old Sasuke, but he wouldn’t really mind to spend at least _one_ life without fighting his friend all the way through it.

“Kakashi.”

“Kakashi.”

“He is different now. You’ll see. They all are different,” there is something in his voice that makes Naruto look at him, but the visible part of his face wears his usual impassive expression and it’s impossible to say what Kakashi is thinking.  Naruto frowns and looks away, suddenly realising that now there are even more years and the whole another life separating him from the man he used to consider a friend. Still considers, no matter what. He will catch up.

“Se― Kakashi?” They jump through the window in the empty corridor of Hokage Tower, and Naruto stops.

“Mm?”

“You know, I missed you.”

Kakashi turns to him and looks at him сlosely with a frown between his eyebrows. He doesn’t answer right away, and Naruto suppresses the urge to move or say something, forcing himself to stay still.

“How long was it for you?” Kakashi asks finally, and there is no need to clarify what he means.

“About two years. Sakura missed you too, sensei.”

“Kakashi.”

“Kakashi,” Naruto repeats obediently.

He holds Kakashi’s gaze for another moment, and then the older man’s features suddenly relax and shift in the familiar eyes-smile, he drops his palm on Naruto’s head and ruffles blond hair with a lazy, “Maa, no need for such sentiments now, Naru-chan.”

Naruto blinks at the unfamiliar use of his name, but smiles in return. Kakashi lets his hand fall to his side and starts walking to the Hokage’s office.

“C’mon, Naruto, let’s not keep your father waiting.” They walk several steps, and then he adds, “He knows, by the way.”

Naruto nods, though Kakashi can’t see him. He is not entirely sure how he feels about it, but Kakashi’s apparent decision to let Minato know seems logical - Kakashi hardly would’ve been able to achieve all that without help. Besides, it would’ve probably been lonely too.

They meet just a couple of other shinobi on their way, no one who Naruto personally knows, but they nod to him with a friendly smile, and he waves his hand in answer.

Kakashi stops in front of the door to the Hokage’s office and silently gestures Naruto to it.

“Are you not coming with me?” Naruto asks him, putting his hand on the doorknob.

“No. I was just making sure you wouldn’t have any encounters you are not prepared for yet on your way here.”

“Ah, thanks, Kakashi-se― Kakashi.” This will be a tough one to get used to…

Kakashi nods, his hand twitches as if he wants to reach to Naruto, but he puts it in his pocket instead and silently walks away.

Naruto turns the doorknob and walks in the Hokage’s office, noticing with the corner of his eyes two ANBU guards vanishing through the floor after seeing him. He stops right after the threshold, suddenly feeling sheepish - it is not like when he met his dad before. Back then it was the first time for both of them that they were able to see each other. But this Minato raised up his son. The son Naruto replaced by appearing in his body.

This thought, that he basically erased the mind that occupied this body before he time-traveled here, strikes him only now and he is startled by this sudden realisation. Naruto doesn’t know how close the relationship between Kakashi and this ‘local’ Naruto had been, but he knows that here and now Kakashi didn’t lose his teammates and his sensei ― he _should_ be happy here. Yet the man was colder today than Naruto has ever seen him. And if it isn’t connected with Naruto replacing the ‘local’ Naruto, then he has no idea what else it might be.

Minato raises his head from the paperwork, and their eyes meet. For a moment neither of them moves nor say anything, and Naruto’s mouth is suddenly dry. He licks his lips nervously and says, “Hi, [touchan](https://www.quora.com/What-is-dad-in-Japanese).” It’s too quiet and hoarse, and Naruto clears his throat and forces himself to smile. “I know, it’s unexpected. I didn’t actually plan to suddenly appear here when I died, believe it,” he chuckles awkwardly and scratches the back of his head. “I don’t really mind though, it is certainly nicer here than wherever it is I would be if I just died… I mean, I _did_ just die, but then I woke up here, and I am still a bit shocked, and I even thought it was a genjutsu, but it’s not, and Kakashi-sensei is not telling me anything. I think he might be mad at me, I suppose I am not the best replacement for whichever Naruto you had here. ‘T’s not that I’m saying it is alright anyway to replace someone, and I’m sorry, touchan, but I can’t reverse it, and believe it, I will do my best to fit here, and―”

“Naruto,” the soft voice sounds suddenly much closer than Naruto expects, and apparently during his rant he didn’t notice that Minato walked to him.

He looks up at his dad ― and seriously, he _can’t wait_ to grow up and be able to look at everyone from a normal angle ― and there is this warm smile Naruto remembers from when he last saw him. Minato looks a bit older, and that’s expected, but at the same time it is a bit strange, and Naruto feels a short spike of jealousy towards the boy whose body he is occupying now ― he got to have a father, to be raised by him and to see him every day.

“I’m sorry,” Naruto says quietly and swallows. There is sadness in his father’s eyes, but he is still smiling, soft and warm, and Naruto is suddenly confused, and he feels guilty for basically bereaving Minato of his son, because Naruto is not him, but he wants to be him so much, he wants to be the Naruto who grew up with his parents, who never had to feel this void behind his back and around him, being so alone with no connections to anyone.

Naruto feels his eyes watering, it is so stupid to cry because of this _now_ of all times, when his father - real, alive - is standing right in front of him. And besides, he’s cried all the orphan tears a long time ago already.

But just several hours ago he was physically exhausted and emotionally drained, in the world where he's lost so many people he held dear, he had no hope left and he had no strength left. He died these several hours ago, in pain, choking on his own blood.

And then he woke up in the past, that was so much better than he could ever even hope for, that it was hard to believe it was real. And now he is looking at his father, and he can finally have it - a family, even bigger than he has dreamt of having, and he is just overwhelmed. Tired and overwhelmed.

Tears start running down his face, and he can’t hold them back. He is sobbing and wiping his face with a sleeve of his shirt, mumbling something incoherent, probably apologising again.

There are suddenly arms around his shoulders, pulling him in a warm embrace. Minato runs his hand through Naruto’s messy hair, and Naruto hears his quiet voice, “I am sorry, Naruto, I’m so sorry, son. I’m sorry that you had to live through all this. I’m sorry we weren’t with you.” And it is wrong, because it is obviously not his fault, but Naruto is wrapping his arms around his father and crying loudly, regressing to not even his body’s 12 years, but somewhere even further, but his father is holding him tight, and allows him that and accepts him, and Naruto is home and he has never been happier.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the next chapter: _Sometimes Minato thinks that he has not one son, but three of them_ \- Minato POV


	7. (Minato; flashback)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Minato has so many sons, he can't keep up, but then Kakashi just must go and tell him about his time-traveler status and then hook up with Obito and just make it all weird (how dare you, Kakashi!), but Minato is still a good dad and he talks one of his sons through "he proposed me what should i dooo" phase.  
> Gawd, I'm nailing this summary, look at me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is more of a hurt/comfort, but the next one will be fluff (I think).
> 
> Thanks again to all the people subscribing to this story and also those who apparently use the "bookmark" button for this purpose :D Jokes aside, I really appreciate every single one of you ^_^  
> Please leave kudos and comment, if you enjoy the story, and remember, you can do this even if you don't have an account here =)
> 
> Also, happy birthday to me! yeey! xD

## If your kid needs a role model and you are ain't it, you're both fucked

 

Sometimes Minato thinks that he has not one son, but three of them. It is normal for the shinobi teams to be close, but Minato still doubts such an extent is usual.

Perhaps the fact that both boys had no parents when they joined his team played some role here, as well as the mutual adoration between them and Kushina later. So it’s not like Minato really had a choice there. Not that he minded though.

First was the sudden change in Kakashi, who from a rather distant, guarded, openly unfriendly boy, who valued following rules more than anything else, in a matter of one day shifted to the even more guarded, but yet warm and caring stranger, who started being late to their meetings more often than not, and smiled behind his mask to his teammates and Minato with heartbreaking yearning in his eyes. There was unmistakably a core that was Kakashi in him, but on top of it there was very little there of the boy Minato had known.

Minato noticed that, Rin noticed that, Obito noticed that Kakashi started smiling to Rin, and aside from that his observations skills failed him.

As a result, Obito started brooding about Kakashi suddenly showing attention to Obito’s crush, hurt would very quickly flick and fade on the visible part of Kakashi’s face every time that Obito purposely ignored him, and Rin was trying really hard and failing not to show her worry about the changed dynamics in their team.

The moment when Minato had gotten enough of all that and decided to intervene, he now sees as a turning point from them being a team to eventually becoming something closer to a family.

He doesn’t remember now when Obito or Kakashi or sometimes both of them started having sleepovers in his and Kushina’s house, but he has never regretted ever allowing them. Kushina and Obito really got along, both loud and cheerful, and it was hard to believe Obito was an Uchiha.

Kakashi was incredibly interesting to talk to, and Minato sometimes even forgot that he was talking with a kid. He caught himself wondering a couple of times about what had happened on that mission in the end of the war that made Kakashi change so much, he even tried to ask the boy, only to notice later that he had been very skillfully led to a change of topic without even noticing that he had never gotten an answer for his question.

This mystery was washed out of his mind when Kushina told him she was pregnant. Minato’s team was the first ones among all their friends to learn the news. Rin was hugging Kushina, they both laughing, Obito was smiling and wiping off the constant stream of tears from his eyes until they were red and puffy. What was visible of Kakashi’s face was playing a complicated mix of emotions, that looked like the boy couldn’t quite decide whether he should smile or frown.

The next day Kakashi jumped through the window into the Hokage’s office, very insistently asked Minato to dismiss the ANBU guards and make sure that the seals that would prevent anyone from hearing them were active, and then dropped the news of him being a time-traveler on Minato’s head.

Kakashi didn’t go into many details, either because it would’ve taken probably too long or because of some personal reasons. Minato listened silently, and when Kakashi finished and after a short pause added that if his word was not enough he would try to prove it with some extra information, Minato just walked to him and hugged him tightly. He felt Kakashi flinch briefly and then he relaxed and wrapped his arms around Minato in return.

Minato was holding Kakashi, while he hid his face in the Hokage’s robe, his shoulders shaking and silent tears drenching the white garb. Minato was a bit surprised how easy it was for him to believe Kakashi’s story. And he didn’t hear even a hint that Kakashi might blame him for not being there for his team that cursed day, probably launching the chain of events that had led to such a devastating war. And while he was happy that this time it was avoided and all three of his students were alive, he couldn’t help but regret that he hadn’t been there for this man while he had been struggling through his life completely alone.

Everything changed after that. They told Kushina - Minato wouldn’t keep secrets from her. Besides, she was soon to give birth to their son, and despite Obito not being a threat this time, they weren’t sure that Madara wouldn’t find someone else to use - they had to be ready.

It pained Minato to think that in different circumstances that cheerful, kind and somewhat fragile boy could be broken and twisted so much that he would not hesitate to destroy his own home and kill the people who had been dear to him. And Minato understood better all the glances Kakashi was throwing Obito’s way, his discreet attempts to stand closer to his friend, shifting his body slightly as if to protect him from a potential danger that can hurt and change him. Minato couldn’t imagine what Kakashi felt, being among people he loved and who had been ghosts for him for way too long. It didn’t matter that Kakashi was probably slightly older than Minato now - after hearing Kakashi’s story, he decided that he would do his best to give Kakashi the family he had never had.

Jiraiya visited a few months after, talked to Kakashi, got more drunk than Minato had ever seen him, and then soon left promising to let them know if he found out anything about Orochimaru’s or Madara’s whereabouts.

Mikoto Uchiha gave birth to Sasuke, Kushina gave birth to Naruto, the attack on Konoha didn’t happen and Kyūbi stayed safely sealed in Kushina.

Obito was bursting into tears everytime little Naruto would have a huge happy grin on his whiskered face when his self-proclaimed oniisan was anywhere in his field of  vision, and Minato’s house would be filled with the ringing laughter of both of them for another hour, Obito blowing raspberries on the little boy’s tummy while happily regressing from his fifteen to something hardly much older than Naruto, until they both would exhaust themselves and fall asleep. Kakashi would roll his eyes at the view of Obito lying on a floor like a starfish with Naruto sprawled across his chest, drooling on Obito’s shirt, but Minato would see him smile under his mask.  

Kushina was happy to have both of them around, not at all disturbed by the slight chaos Obito brought each time he visited his beloved Naru-chan. She would leave Naruto with Kakashi when she had to leave house or meet with Mikoto, and Minato later would hear from Fugaku, that during such days Kakashi would seek Itachi, who had his otouto attached to him so often that it seemed they were physically inseparable, and let the two little boys play together.

Minato was happy. He was happy having this family, and his little son having so many people who loved him, unlike how it had happened in the life Kakashi told him about. Minato knew Kakashi regretted not being there for Naruto the first time, too absorbed in dealing with his own grief, and if now he wanted to compensate for that, Minato didn’t mind, seeing that Kakashi loved Naruto sincerely, and the expression in his eyes when the toddler called him Kashi-nii for the first time was priceless.

Despite how eager Obito waited Naruto to call him brother as well, Obito just stayed Obito for the little boy, who would later add “baka” to the name more often than not, making Obito do the same, changing the usual Naru-chan to Naru-baka, that later caused a million fights between the two that threatened to destroy the house ― Minato’s or Kakashi’s one, when Obito moved in with him and Naruto started staying a few nights a week there. Kakashi told Minato, that the first time he tried to intervene, both of them called him Bakashi and threw things at him. Since then he decided to mind his own business, letting them get that extra energy out of their systems - exhausted Obito and Naruto were much easier to handle.

Years later, a couple of days after Kakashi had abruptly quited the ANBU without giving any explanations, he appeared with a puff of smoke in the middle of Minato’s office, startling the guards, who Minato instantly dismissed, reading the familiar expression on his former student’s face. Said expression was barely holding still on Kakashi’s face, being pushed away by the look of utter happiness, confusion and relief.

As surprising as it was to see the mix of such emotions on Kakashi’s face ― not that Minato thought the man couldn’t experience them, but he usually tend to be much more reticent about his feelings ― neither before that, nor after, has Minato ever heard Kakashi stutter. In the middle of Kakashi’s muddled explanations about Itachi being another time-traveler, that resolved some of their concerns towards Uchiha in general and that one Uchiha in particular, Minato realised that Kakashi was slightly drunk, which had also never happened.

And before Minato was able to process all these new discoveries and decide what the fact that someone else from Kakashi’s future - _past? -_ had also been thrown back in time could mean for them, without taking any pause, and barely even changing his intonation ― except for the level of surprise in his voice, that rose dramatically ― Kakashi informed him that Obito proposed to him and _what do I do, Minato-sensei?!_

And though the second news made Minato nothing but happy and he honestly couldn’t see why Kakashi was even having doubts, and he would very much prefer to discuss the sudden appearance of the second time traveler ― after, of course, congratulating the first one for his engagement ― as this seemed way more important on an entirely different level, he realised that he was needed as just Minato more than as Hokage, when Kakashi dropped in the chair across from him, hid his face in his arms, folded on the desk, and with a voice that sounded so far from how the man looked just a second ago, and that showed his drunk state even more than his stutter, said words that Minato had hoped had never visited Kakashi’s mind.

“He deserves more than I can possibly give him, Minato-sensei.”

Minato knew Kakashi wasn’t telling him everything from his past life, and he didn’t mean facts, but how they affected the man. Kakashi had been very careful in not showing any distress or any strong emotions per se, but it would be surprising, if the man, who had lived through one loss after another and participated in two world wars, wouldn’t have any regrets and inner scars. But until then Minato hadn’t been sure what could be eating on Kakashi the most. And he couldn’t say that he was surprised that it was connected with Obito.

“You gave him this whole new life, Kakashi.” Minato walked around the desk and sat on the corner of it, putting his hand on Kakashi’s shoulder reassuringly. “You gave him friends, love, family.”

Kakashi lifted his head, looking blindly before him, and then leant at the back of the chair, closing his left eye. It was an old habit from before he was able to get used to using both of his eyes all the time, that Minato had noticed before Kakashi actually explained it to him. Now he only  slipped when he felt uncomfortable or distressed.

“He should’ve been with Rin. Sensei, he was ready to destroy the whole world for her. Rin… Rin would’ve been perfect for him.”

“He loves Rin, yes, but it is different with you. And this is what you gave him too - the opportunity of choice. He chose you, Kakashi.”

Kakashi opened his mouth, but Minato added with a smile, before the man could begin arguing, “You don’t think you can force _love_ on _Uchiha_ , do you?”

Kakashi was silent for a moment, frowning, the tightness in the corners of his eyes being the only indication that whatever he was thinking about was not pleasant.

“I will ruin him,” the words whispered from his lips, quiet and broken.

Minato squeezed his shoulder and waited before Kakashi lifted his eyes on him.

“You saved him,” he said with a smile, and never in his life had he believed so much in what he was saying. “Let him save _you_ now.”

**~**

Before Minato could send Kakashi home to his most definitely worried out of his mind boyfriend, said boyfriend walked in the office after knocking quietly at the door, wearing a lost and questioning look on his face. His eyes widened in surprise and relief when he saw Kakashi, and Minato came to the conclusion, that Kakashi probably fled to the Hokage tower the same instant as he heard Obito’s proposal, judging by Kakashi’s guilty look.

Minato tapped Kakashi’s shoulder and smiled reassuringly to Obito, who stood near the door obviously not sure what to do. Kakashi dragged his feet to him, stooped to press his forehead to Obito’s shoulder, and apparently said something, that Minato couldn’t hear, but Obito beamed, grabbed Kakashi in a tight embrace, digging his face in the crook of Kakashi’s neck, and Minato discreetly let out a breath of relief.

Minato sent them off, staying one on one ― the two inconspicuous ANBU guards appearing the same second the door closed behind the backs of Minato’s former students didn’t count ― with a fairly insignificant but very intrusive thought, that he must be more attentive during such conversations with Kakashi or Obito (and this one hadn’t been the first of the sort, and not even the second), as they might prove to be only a warm up before the main thing, i.e. his son, who was only seven, but Minato had already found that kids were indeed growing fast. One of them had even managed to skip at least twenty whole years…

Speaking of which.

The news of Itachi being another time traveler were good in general, but at the same time concerning. Minato wasn’t worried that the Uchiha could do something against the village or the clan, but he would definitely talk to him later. He wasn’t particularly sure yet whether the unquestionable changes in Itachi would be good for his relationship with his little brother ― Monato knew how highly Sasuke thought of Itachi, and he just hoped that he wouldn’t have to be involved as a mediator at least in this relationship too.

Some thought was a nagging itch at the side of his consciousness for the rest of the day, but the need to focus on urgent paperwork didn’t leave him any room to stop and think about it.

Already later that night, when a restless Naruto, too agitated by the news of Kakashi and Obito’s engagement ― _yes, Naruto, boys can marry each other; no, son, you can’t marry Sasuke, you are too little for that, ask me in twenty years ―_ had been finally coaxed to go to sleep, and Minato was lying in bed with Kushina in his arms, he realised what kind of thought it had been.

He had told his wife about Itachi earlier today, so there was no need for extra explanations, when he asked hesitantly, “What if there will be more? What if…”

He didn’t finish, and the unasked question hung between them. Kushina didn’t answer right away, probably taking the time to make this thought sink in. And then she sighed and looked up at Minato from where she was resting on his shoulder.

“Then we will love him even more. For all those years he didn’t have us.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the next chapter: _Naruto wakes up to a plangent “Minato-senseeei” said by a distantly familiar low voice..._ \- Naruto's POV and SasuNaru fluff ladies and gents ^_^
> 
> Please talk to me in comments, guys! I wanna know what you think and what you expect to see in this fic later =)


	8. (Naruto; now)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Naruto gets a taste of an everyday life of someone, who has a family and a ton of close friends and self-proclaimed relatives, gets a suspicion that he might not be the only son for his dad, but that's ok, and discovers that in this world he and Sasuke are very physically close ~~but not what you thought of just now, you perverts! They are like 12 years old, calm down xD~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Summary says it's all xD Some Family Minato dynamics plus a bit of SasuNaru =)  
> Enjoy! 
> 
> Happy holidays, and I'll see you in the new year! ^_^
> 
> PS. People keep subbing, this is wild! O_O Thank you all, you are making my day!  
> PPS. Remember, you can leave kudos and comment even if you are not logged in ^_^

##  People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don't care what people think 

 

Naruto wakes up to a plangent “Minato-senseeei” said by a distantly familiar low voice that is vainly trying to sound as if its owner is not an adult man, who has a husband and his own house where he can whine all he wants to said husband instead of barging in in the Hokage’s house and wake everyone up at the unholy for a Sunday hour.

Naruto yawns and closes the eye, that he had to open to check the time ― way too early ― and shifts on his futon. The futon shifts under him, another “Senseeeei” carries from the kitchen, Naruto groans, his futon groans too, shoves a sharp elbow in his ribs, making Naruto yelp and practically jump to the side, where he rolls to the floor, and a dishevelled and very displeased Sasuke storms out of the room, stomping his bare feet loudly at the wooden floor and growling profanities.

Naruto jerks to a sitting position and stares at the wide open door, that Sasuke forgot to close, with equally wide eyes.

There is a high-pitched yelp followed by the thud of something heavy colliding with probably a wall, followed by a loud _“That was so uncalled for, Sasu-chan!”_ said in Obito’s voice and Sasuke’s almost growl of   _“Don’t call me that!”_

Naruto blinks and rubs his eyes, pleading for his brain to wake the hell up and provide him with explanations. More quiet voices now sound through the open door, and Naruto decides he might as well join the fun while waiting for his memory to catch up with his conscious. He rises to his feet and slowly walks out of the room, yawning so hard, that his eyes start watering and his jaw hurts.

He nearly bumps into his father, who is standing in the kitchen doorway. He plants a quick kiss in Naruto’s hair with a quiet, “Morning, son”, and turns back to Obito, who is treading worryingly back and forth.

“Oh, hey, Naru-chan, did I wake you?” he stops for a moment when he notices Naruto, and ruffles his hair.

Naruto opens his mouth to answer, but he is interrupted by a low and muffled, “No, but you woke me, idiot.” Sasuke is sitting at the kitchen table, face down on its surface, Kushina is beside him, head propped on one hand and the other is on Sasuke’s head, fingers playing with his spiky hair.

“Be nice to your cousin, Sasuke,” she says, and Naruto thinks that it might be a little bit too late for that.

Naruto sits at the other side of Sasuke, mesmerized by the slow movements of his mother’s fingers in Sasuke’s hair ― he still isn’t used to a tactile and affectionate Sasuke, and he doubts he ever will, but he wouldn’t trade it for anything (he really needs to thank Itachi for that one day ― the older Uchiha has been probably compensating for all the years he’d missed from Sasuke’s life).  

Sasuke raises his head and squints sleepily at Obito.

“Why the hell are you even here? Go home, annoy Kakashi,” he waves his hand in the general direction of Hatake’s house, and lowers his head back on the table.

“He is in Suna,” Obito explains and shoves an accusing finger at Sasuke. “And why are _you_ here?” he asks, but apparently quickly realises how childish it sounds, pouts, frowns and sheepishly scratches the back of his head.

Sasuke snorts, turns his head to the other side, Kushina giggles quietly and winks to Naruto, who, now fully awake, starts to make tiny braids with Sasuke’s hair. The boy is obviously growing it, apparently taking after his niisan, but Sasuke’s hair are spiky and stiff, and Naruto thinks, that if he goes on with this, he would look more like Madara with his wild hair, rather than like Itachi.

“Minato-sensei,” Obito returns his attention to Naruto’s father, while Kushina mouths ‘ _Breakfast?’_ to Naruto, and after receiving an enthusiastic nod, stand up and walks to the stove. “I can tell there _is_ something wrong with him!”

“I am not your sensei anymore, Obito,” Minato sighs, and this sounds like something he has to repeat a little more often than he’d prefer, reminding Naruto about his own former and not so sensei, who used to have a similar expression of ‘ _This is not going to work, isn’t it?’_ in his only visible eye, that was getting more and more easy to read every time Kakashi tried with no effect to make his former students call him by just his name. “And I’m sure whatever it is, it’s not connected with you.”

“How can you know?” There is a plainly worried expression on Obito’s face, and Naruto stops in the middle of making the sixth spiky braid, leaving his fingers in Sasuke’s tangled hair.

Kushina sets two bowls of rice on the table, leans down to cup Naruto’s face in soft warm hands and kisses his nose and cheeks while Naruto is melting in his chair and grinning.

“Eat,” she says, straightening up and ruffling Naruto’s hair, before sitting beside him with a cup of tea.

“Thanks, [kaachan](https://jlearn.net/Dictionary/Browse/2399270-kaachan-%E3%81%8B%E3%81%82%E3%81%A1%E3%82%83%E3%82%93-%E6%AF%8D%E3%81%A1%E3%82%83%E3%82%93),” Naruto says happily, digging in his rice, watching with the corner of his eyes as Sasuke raises his head and starts gloomily picking on his food. The newly made braids are sticking from his head, making the boy look like he was struck with a lightning, and Naruto has to suppress a giggle at the view.

“Kakashi is never angry with you, you know that. You shouldn’t be so worried, Obito,” Minato pets Obito’s hair with a patient smile and he humbly bows his head under the touch. The picture of an entirely different Obito, angry and fierce and broken is still fresh in Naruto’s memory, and the contrast with what is unfolding before Naruto’s eyes now is bizarre. Naruto can’t help but chuckle at the view of this grown up man suddenly looking like he is a kid coming to his dad in search of support and approval.

It is funny just for one moment, and then Naruto remembers that Obito has never known his own parents, growing up with only his grandmother. Minato probably became a father figure for him when they formed a team, and as Naruto thinks of a broken lonely man, scarred both on the outside and inside, he feels a warmth filling him at the thought, that here in this changed life Obito has a family. And all by just Kakashi being able to bring him back home from that mission. Naruto thinks that Obito will hardly ever realise how much Kakashi has given him, but at the same time, his own happiness and his presence in Kakashi’s life is probably more than enough for the other man.

Naruto steals a glance at Sasuke, who is eating his breakfast, absently twisting one of Naruto’s creations between his fingers. This boy will never know the grim fate he has avoided, and probably it will make him value what he has now a bit less. But it is alright, because he has his parents, and his brother, and another whole family who also cares about him. He has so many people, standing behind him, he has never felt this void around him, he has never had to seek for another lonely boy to make him this one single pillar to hold onto and be the same for him. He has never _needed_ Naruto the way they both needed each other before. But still, he is here, and happy, and considers Naruto his friend, and this is so much more than Naruto ever wished for.

“But what if he _is_ angry with me,” Obito’s voice cuts in Naruto’s musings and he turns his attention back to the older Uchiha.

Kushina laughs quietly, and Minato gives Obito an unamused look with a clearly visible message of ‘ _You are not really stupid enough to think so’_ across his face, that is completely missed by the young man.

“Alright, Obito, I’ll talk to him,” Minato says finally with ‘ _I give up’_ sigh.

Obito brightens up, and hugs Minato, grinning widely. “Thanks, Minato-sensei!”

“Of course,” Minato pets his back and waits for the man to release him.

“What’s up with Kakashi?” Naruto asks, finishing the last of his rice and grabbing a cup with tea, hissing as the hot porcelain burns his fingers. He blows on the hot liquid and makes a small loud sip. He sets the cup back on the table, when he notices Sasuke watching him with a puzzled expression on his face. Catching Naruto looking at him, Sasuke hmms and turns back to his food. “What?” Naruto pokes his friend with a finger, but Sasuke just waves him off. “What?” Naruto repeats, looking up to see his parents exchange a glance and Obito tilting his head to the side and scratching his head.

The thought that he probably fucked up somehow only starts forming in Naruto’s head, when Obito’s eyes widen and he snaps his fingers, pointing one at Naruto. “This is it, isn’t it?” He drops his accusing finger ― Naruto would very much like to know what exactly he is being accused in ― and grabs Minato by the shoulders. “This is why Kashi is so upset, right? It has nothing to do with me, right, Minato-sensei?”

“That’s what I was trying―”

“Oh, Naru-chan!” Obito turns his attention back to him, crossing the short distance to the table and leaning on it with his hands. Naruto shifts deeper in his chair, not ashamed to admit that he feels a bit intimidated by a bit too vigorous attention from the older man ― is he even older than him by the way? Naruto will need to ask discreetly. He could probably do the math himself, but the thought itself makes his head hurt in advance. “You grew up so fast, how haven’t I noticed? You were so little and cute just yesterday,” Obito’s laughter is full of relief that apparently he is not the one causing Kakashi’s distress, and when he reaches his hand to ruffle Naruto’s hair, Naruto has to bite down the urge to bite something else. This hand in his hair for example. It is so childish, even for him, and he wonders if his body’s brain is affecting his much older personality.     

“I’m pretty sure he wasn’t cute and little yesterday,” he hears Sasuke say grumpily. “You need to check your memory, [jiji](http://www.kanjijapanese.com/en/dictionary-japanese-english/jiji).”   

“Hey, I _am_ cute!”

“You are so mean, Sasu-chan,” Obito says at the same time. Naruto uses Obito being distracted to send a _‘What did I do wrong’_ look to his mother, who just sighs and mouths _‘Later’_.

“I told you not to call me that, you baka-jiji!”

“I was babysitting you when Itachi was busy, and you were such an adorable kid, and look how you are repaying me now,” Obito says and drops in the chair across the table, pouting.

“You have obviously too much parental energy to spend, Obito,” Minato says with a chuckle, but it falls on deaf ears.

“You never babysitted me, Kakashi did!” Sasuke drops his chopsticks, glaring at the other Uchiha in front of him. “Itachi told me, you couldn’t even come close to our house, because you were too intimidated by my brother!” Sasuke finishes with poorly hidden and entirely misplaced pride in his voice, grabs one of the chopsticks and stretches across the table, almost knocking over his bowl, trying to stab Obito with his ‘weapon’. Obito jerks back and snatches it from Sasuke’s fingers with a mocking grin.

Naruto, amused, watches the scene before him, tea forgotten.

“That's not true, I like Itachi-kun. And I _was_ in you house once!” Obito raises the hand with the stolen chopstick in the air, stating his questionable point.

“Yeah, I bet Kakashi dragged you there, and since I don't even remember that it was probably not long after me and Naruto were born.”

Obito opens his mouth but shuts it the same second, blinking twice, obviously trying to come up with an answer.

“Do you hear me, Obito?” Minato asks, using the short pause in the conversation. “You need your own kids. And you will have the full spectre of joy when they are going to pick up fights with you in their teenage years,” he taps Obito on the shoulder and sits beside him.

“But Minato-sensei―”

“His kids won’t even be Uchiha,” Sasuke grimaces and then grins gloomly. “Itachi was wrong, you are not just intimidated by him, but by the whole clan, that’s why you changed your name.”

Huh?

“I did that because I love Kakashi! And because there are plenty of people in the Uchiha clan and Kakashi was all what was left of Hatake,” Obito stands up abruptly, now clearly angry. “And I am not discussing Uchiha clan with the brat who doesn’t even have his Sharingan yet!”  

Sasuke jumps to his feet, shouting, “I can take you out without it, you bastard!”

“I’d like to see you try, [kuso-gaki](https://jlearn.net/Dictionary/Browse/2741980-kusogaki-%E3%81%8F%E3%81%9D%E3%81%8C%E3%81%8D-%E7%B3%9E%E9%A4%93%E9%AC%BC)!”

“One more word and you both are never spending a night in this house again.” Kushina’s voice is quiet and sweet. Too sweet actually, and Naruto turns to look at his mother, and her smile doesn’t promise anything good. Both Obito and Sasuke sit back in their chairs slowly, heads bowed, Obito mumbles ‘ _Sorry’_ and rolls the stolen chopstick back to Sasuke, who hums something unintelligible and digs in his food, an ashamed blush on his cheeks picking out in between his bangs.

“Minato is right, Obito,” Kushina says then. “Have you and Kakashi thought of what Rin suggested the other day?”

Sasuke groans and mumbles quietly _‘Not this again’_ , but not quiet enough, and Obito glances at him, obviously still worked up after the fight. “What are _you_ still doing here? Where is Itachi?”

Sasuke scowl and jabs his chopsticks in his rice like it is a kunai and someone's throat. "He is on a mission. With Shisui,” he practically spits out the name, stabbing his food with a grimace of disgust.

Naruto has never felt so confused and missing out in a situation in his entire life and it only reminds him, that he doesn’t know practically anything about not only the lives of these people but also his own, and he is not sure how much of it he can ask about.

“Naruto, Sasuke, why won’t you go for a walk?” Minato asks with a smile, and Sasuke stands up, throwing the last of his rice in his mouth.

“Thanks for the breakfast, Kushina-san,” he says leaning down to kiss her cheek and she ruffles his hair and smiles. “Minato-san,” he nods to Minato and the man taps his shoulder, when Sasuke walks past him. He stops at the door to glance over his shoulder, saying “Obito,” with a sour face, and scowls but doesn’t comment when Obito answers, “Sasu-chan”.

Mesmerised by all this exchange, and everything that happened this morning, Naruto is frozen in his seat and blinks himself to full awareness only when he feels his mother's hand on his.

He stands up, goes to hug Kushina and plant a kiss on her other cheek, giggles and melts a little when she kisses the tip of his nose, and then proceeds to hug his dad. He hesitates a short moment after, tilting his brow in a silent question, and after Minato nods shortly, he walks around the table to give Obito a hug as well, but the man wraps his arms around him first and squeezes him tightly, nuzzling the top of his head affectionately.

“Don’t grow too fast, Naru-chan.”

This man is ridiculous and so different from the one Naruto met before, but Naruto definitely likes this one better and is eager to get to know him personally, instead of from occasional stories Kakashi-sensei told him in rare breaks between the fights back then.

“I’ll try,” he answers and grins when Obito lets him go.

Sasuke is standing outside of the house, trying to untangle the tight braids in his hair. He throws a judgemental look at Naruto when he joins him, but doesn’t say anything.

They start slowly walking along the street when Naruto remembers something.

“Ano, Sasuke, why exactly we ended up sleeping on one futon?”

He expects him to blush and avert his eyes, but Sasuke just shrugs and answers simply, “You had a nightmare.”

“A nightmare?” Naruto asks, confused.

“Yeah. You were tossing in your futon, mumbling something, so I held you until you felt better. I guess I just fell asleep too.” He shrugs again, like it is not big deal, and doesn’t even notice when Naruto freezes in his track, completely bewildered. He doesn’t remember the actual nightmare but now recalls that he indeed had one. But unlike any other times when this happens, he didn’t wake up gasping and covered with sweat, but the nightmare slowly gave way to a more welcomed darkness without dreams, and he remembers the familiar scent and the comforting warmth of another body beside his, calming his panicking mind.

Sasuke stops, when he notices the lack of Naruto near him and turns around.

“What?”

Naruto, touched by his friend’s support, walks to him and pulls him in a hug, ignoring Sasuke’s protests.

“Thank you, Sasuke!” he says sincerely, rubbing his cheek on Sasuke’s ear.

“Oi, moron, what the hell are you doing? Let me go!”

Naruto laughs joyfully and unwraps his hands, letting Sasuke jump away from him the same instant. The Uchiha looks around with almost panic across his face, and Naruto laughs even louder when his friend sighs in relief, after making sure no one saw this sudden display of affection.

“You promised not to do this, Naruto, you idiot,” he hisses, rubbing his violated ear.

Naruto has no idea what his is talking about, but he raises his hands. “Sorry, sorry.”

Sasuke calms down and they start walking again, when Naruto is striked by a thought. “If you have nightmares too one day,” he says as serious as he can manage, trying not to laugh at the absurdity of this situation, “I’ll hold you too until you feel better.”

“Yeah I know, Naruto, you said that already, remember?”

He doesn’t, but he still nods and smiles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the next chapter: _Itachi was the pillar Sasuke’s world was built on_ \- Sasuke's POV. ItaSasu feels (platonic - I am not weird! ~~I am, but not in this fic~~ ), and a bit of SasuNaru, that would explain the mystery of Sasuke's behavior in this chapter xD


	9. (Sasuke; flashback)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Itachi is in distress and Sasuke comforts him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> People keep subscribing, so wild! :D 
> 
> Happy New year, guys! I give you this shitty chapter as the present, lol. My beta Himeneka characterized it as a filler chapter, so filler it is then, why not. Next chapter will be more entertaining =)

## Everyone smiles in the same language

 

Itachi was the pillar Sasuke’s world was built on. Even more than their parents, Itachi was the most important person in the life of the five-year-old boy. They were inseparable for as long as Sasuke could remember, which wasn’t that long, but he was sure, that Itachi was near him to protect and comfort even before the boy’s young brain was able to keep such memories.

Sasuke loved his brother to the point of worship, seeking his attention and approval every moment of his life. He was selfish in that, as all kids are. He was little and couldn’t understand why Itachi suddenly grew distant, keeping him at arm’s length - quite literally - if not fully ignoring him then not taking the time out of his days to let his otouto cuddle with him.

Sasuke was hurt, and he missed his niisan. But even as selfish as his love was, and as much as Itachi’s indifference pained him, he couldn’t ignore how his brother tossed on his futon during some nights, only to wake up with a gasp and then sit on his bedding, panting as if in pain. Sasuke would squeeze his eyes at moments like that, and if he was lucky, Itachi would crouch beside his futon to carefully brush a strand of hair from Sasuke’s face with cool fingers, before exiting the room quietly.

Sasuke didn’t know what kind of dreams tortured his niisan, but even at almost six he could feel the discomfort it brought to Itachi.

He was selfish, and too little to understand the kinds of anguish of the adult world that could flood someone’s mind even in sleep, but he knew, that when he was scared or upset, Itachi’s presence could always take his worry away, so he decided it was now his turn to take care of his brother.

So when next time he woke up to Itachi’s quiet unintelligible mumbling, blanket kicked off to his feet and his forehead glistening with sweat in the cold moonlight coming from the wide window, Sasuke got out of his futon and crawled to him, pulling his blanket and slipping under it.

Itachi whispered something in his sleep, that distantly sounded like Sasuke’s name, and the little boy pressed himself closer to his brother, clenching the front of Itachi’s shirt in his small fist and rubbing his cheek at Itachi’s tense shoulder. He could feel Itachi’s strong and too fast heartbeat under his palm, and Sasuke’s own heart was matching the frantic rhythm in response to the worry that was filling him.

Itachi’s breathing was coming fast and shallow, and Sasuke was watching his brother’s face with wide eyes, hesitating if he should wake him up. He didn’t have time to decide, when Itachi gasped and stilled, his eyes - red, with a swirling Sharingan - flew open and jerked down to look at the scared boy, clutching almost desperately at his side.

“Sasuke?” Itachi rasped, and the boy let out a breath and hiccuped nervously, squeezing the fabric of his brother’s shirt even tighter in his fists.

“I’m here, niisan,” he said in a small voice, looking up in Itachi’s red eyes. “Don’t be scared anymore. I will protect you.” It was naive, but he hardly realised that, only trying to comfort his most precious person the only way he knew - the same as Itachi had been doing for Sasuke before something changed almost a year ago.

The silence that followed was heavy, Itachi’s face unmoving and not showing anything he felt or thought of, and Sasuke blinked once, twice, and lowered his head, unclenching his fingers and pulling his hands to him. He sniffed and sighed, almost ready to crawl back to his own futon, when Itachi shifted, and a long strong arm wrapped around Sasuke’s little torso. Sasuke jerked his head up with a happy smile, but Itachi had already closed his eyes. It didn’t discourage the little boy from pressing himself as close as it was physically possible to his brother and burying his face in the long silky hair.

He closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep with a satisfied and proud smile on his face, realising that giving comfort to someone precious felt almost as good as being comforted.

**~**

Sasuke told Naruto about this, when his friend arrived the next day. Quite literally arrived, sitting on Kakashi's shoulders giggling and wrapping an orange ribbon around the last of at least a dozen white pigtails which were sticking from the man's head in all possible directions. Kakashi didn't seem to mind his little hairstylist's creativity and was squinting his eyes in a smile.

He reached behind him to grab Naruto by the back of his shirt, lifted him from his shoulders and dropped the boy, choking in laughter, on Sasuke, who had the last-second reflex to jolt back, but not far enough, and Naruto grabbed his arm in the middle of his fall, hanging on his friend, instead of landing on the ground.

Kakashi ruffled Sasuke's hair in a silent _now he is your problem_ gesture and walked in the house, as Sasuke tugged Naruto to the backyard.

He told him about Itachi not sleeping well and having nightmares and how he helped him last night, and asked if Kakashi was having nightmares too.

Naruto pursed his lips and scratched the back of his head. He drawled _Nooo_ almost with disappointment, and then jolted and sputtered how once, when Obito went on a mission and Kakashi was staying home, Naruto woke up in the middle of the night to pained whimpers coming from the living room. He walked there to find Kakashi lying on the couch, shaking, his eyes puffy as if he'd cried. Naruto, being Naruto and a little kid with no comprehension of privacy, told his father about that the next day. It had been more than a year ago and since then Kakashi and Obito had never been sent on missions separately.

"But if Kashi-nii has nightmares, he doesn't need me, because Obito will help him," he finished and pouted, sulking over the fact that he had been robbed of opportunity to be the one who would heroically save his niichan from potential nightmare's monsters.  
(He saw Obito as a brother too, but even his six year old brain was developed enough to understand that if he ever called the man that, it would get to his head that already was way too big.)

Sasuke, seeing his friend brooding, rushed for the rescue of his heroic tendencies that were so eager to be put to use.

"If I have bad dreams when we are having a sleepover, you can help me, if you want," he offered generously, and Naruto grinned widely and grabbed Sasuke in a tight hug, pressing a sloppy kiss on his cheek.

"Thank you, Sasuke!" He yelled in his friend's ear, deafening him for a moment. "I will save you from all the nightmares! I promise, dattebayo!"

Sasuke peeled Naruto off of himself with some effort and walked to the tree with a painted target on it. Several kunai from when he was training yesterday were sticking out from the wood, and he started pulling them out.

“Hey, Sasuke!” Naruto said a bit too close, and he had to duck from Sasuke’s elbow, when he yanked another kunai from the tree. “If I have nightmares, you will save me from them too, right? Because we are friends.”

Sasuke glanced at his grinning friend, thinking that if anyone in the world had no chance of having a nightmare, it would be him. But they were friends, and Sasuke nodded.

**~**

Itachi kept having nightmares, Sasuke kept crawling in his futon at nights, giving up on trying to find out what was bothering his niisan ― Itachi talked neither about his dreams nor about their new sleep routine, and he didn’t answer any of Sasuke’s questions. Sasuke waited patiently ― a virtue, reserved solely for his niisan ― for Itachi to talk to him, for Itachi to start spending more time with him like they used to, for Itachi to… For Itachi.

He felt, that his niisan had changed, and the little life experience the boy had was not nearly enough to understand these changes.

He was seven years old already, greeting Itachi from work, like he always used to, even though he’d never received more than a poke at his forehead in return these last two years, when Itachi suddenly kneeled in front of him, pulling him in a tight embrace, and Sasuke, after quickly recovering from the initial shock, wrapped his arms around his niisan’s neck and laughed happily.

Itachi didn’t have nightmares this night, but Sasuke crawled to his side anyway. His mother had once told him, he would have to stop doing that when he was older. He didn’t really understand why, but he thought perhaps he could ask Itachi now, when he was ‘back’.

But right now being able to show Itachi his care and love and have it returned to him was comforting in a way that it never was with his parents or even with his best friend Naruto, who would always overwhelm Sasuke with a hurricane of emotions and energy. Buoyant and vigorous, Naruto was exploding with sunshine no one could escape from. So different from Sasuke’s rather calm and distant nature he yet was a big part of the young Uchiha’s life for as long as he could remember. Naruto’s friendship, once gained, was inescapable. There were times when he was tiring for Sasuke and hard to handle, but Sasuke, even at his young age, appreciated the constant source of this positive energy in his life.

Itachi though felt like a calm river, that was soothing Sasuke with the gentle rocking of its current. It was welcoming and yet with something hidden deep beneath its surface, unseeable through the thick of water. Itachi was special, that one precious person, Sasuke was happy to look up to. Deep inside Sasuke hoped he would grow to be like him one day - an amazing shinobi, confident in his abilities, composed and smart.

Clenching Itachi’s shirt in his small hands, he was listening to his steady heartbeat and soft breathing, pressing his nose to Itachi’s warm side, and thinking that he would hardly be able to sleep tonight, his head reeling with excitement to see what his niisan would teach him tomorrow, what he would tell him about. Perhaps he would explain why he had been so distant the last couple of years.

Sasuke giggled quietly, thinking how now he could probably ask Itachi to teach him that special trick with kunai he’d showed him one day, and how Itachi would not be able to refuse, because somehow Sasuke felt that now his niisan would be more responsive to his otouto’s pouting. Sasuke needed something new up his sleeve ― Naruto had been learning disturbingly many new techniques and jutsus recently from the overenthusiastic Obito, and Sasuke couldn’t afford himself to look any less capable in the shinobi arts than the little Namikaze.

Absorbed in his ambitious plans and anticipation of spending more time with his beloved niisan, he missed the moment when Itachi turned slightly in his sleep, facing Sasuke and throwing his arm around him, enveloping in the darkness and the warmth of his body. Itachi’s breath was a soft touch on Sasuke’s head, and the boy didn’t notice when his eyes closed, the grip of his fingers on Itachi’s shirt weakened and he fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the next chapter: _Sasuke means life to him, in all the different kinds of meaning_ \- Itachi's POV. The Naruto's extended family's dynamics through Itachi's eyes :D


	10. (Itachi; now)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Itachi reflects ~~on his life choices~~. Hm... Yeah, on his life choices and on his otouto's life choice ~~which is only one for now and its name is N--~~. He spends a night with Shisui *wink wink* and hides it from Sasuke, cuz **Sasuke is a smol jelly bean** , and then witnesses both Naruto and Obito being 5-year-olds and Kakashi being happy about it for some reason. Also Sasuke and Naruto are sending each other THE LOOKS and Itachi wonders if love is in the air or they all are just crazy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, in this chapter: there is so much in this chapter! If it looks like I just didn't know what to write about so I wrote about everything, that's exactly what happened.
> 
> There's a bit of angst/hurt in the beginning. My hand slipped, sorry xD

## May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house

 

Sasuke means life to him, in all the different kinds of meaning. With all the deaths in the shinobi world that Itachi already got to witness when he was little, the miracle of a new life being born, when he first saw the tiny infant Sasuke and took him in his arms, proved to be his so needed light of hope. He can sincerely say that the birth of his otouto was the most significant event in his life ― in his two lives, in fact ― and he wouldn’t deny that he immediately put Sasuke on a pedestal in his mind as some sort of a symbol of what he understood as _life_ itself was back then, and up until now he has never removed him from there.

He has never been able to see Sasuke in a different light, as just his family, his brother ― the beloved brother, yes, but nothing more than that. There is not a single thing he wouldn’t do for Sasuke. There is not a single thing _Sasuke_ could do, that would make Itachi’s devotion to him any less strong. Sasuke is the center of his world, has always been, even when Itachi was far and Sasuke built his life on his hatred towards his niisan.

But it is different now, and Itachi has this opportunity to live one more life ― one more life where he can spend his every day watching his otouto grow with a smile on his face, instead of a hating and hurting grimace.

He surrounds Sasuke with as much love and attention as his work as part of ANBU forces and his generally rather distant personality allow him. Apparently that is quite a lot, and as a result even Itachi himself can’t deny that the boy is spoiled rotten.

Sasuke doesn't have his Sharingan yet ― apparently limitless spoiling doesn't go well with awakening such power, as Kakashi once told him with a shake of his head and a smile in his eyes. But the boy compensates it well with taijutsu and powerful [Katon ](http://naruto.wikia.com/wiki/Fire_Release)jutsu, taking everything he can from all the lessons Itachi is giving him now.

All of this still doesn't make Obito any less smug as years go by and Sasuke is getting closer to the age when Obito got his own Sharingan awakened, that is rather late for an Uchiha shinobi, and that apparently is still causing Obito some self-confidence issues, which he now tries to compensate by teasing Sasuke about his sharinganless state every opportunity he has, hardly realising that this attempt to stroke his ego at the expense of someone who is more than twice younger than him hardly gives him any credit.

Itachi has to admit, that it’s rather entertaining to watch, considering that he more than once has been a witness to Obito talking about his beloved Naru-chan’s best friend with a fair share of fondness ― when Sasuke wasn’t around to hear that, of course. That at first was rather strange for Itachi to see, since he has been more used to Uchihas having their emotions under control, and now having to deal with someone from his clan who acts as if with the change of his last name he replaced all the Uchiha blood in his body to that of general people ― not that he was any more Uchiha _before_ marrying Kakashi ― and who Itachi knew, on top of it, as the one who put in action a plan of basically destroying the world as they knew it, is something that Itachi is still having difficulties to accustom himself to.

And Sasuke is too full of himself to let Obito’s teasings bother him in any way, quietly, and quite openly, despising his distant older relative. This doesn't stop him from being a constant presence near Obito and Naruto when the two are planning or executing a prank, laughing openly along with them when he thinks nobody else is watching ― public Sasuke and Sasuke among the family are two different personalities after all, and the boy still has some reputation to preserve.

What he forgets to take into account though, is that by choosing ― not that he has that much choice in the matter ― to count Naruto as his family, he gets to have all of _Naruto’s_ family as his own as well, that is not just an addition of two more people ― Naruto’s parents, but much more, as somehow Kakashi and Obito also have been a part of this equation from the day Naruto was born. And where Minato’s two students are involved, Nohara Rin is always somewhere nearby, visiting both men so often, that it is hard to point where her actual home is, tugging Tenzō along with her every time ― not that he would willingly leave her side or object against meeting his best friend as often as possible.

As a result, Sasuke’s ‘family’ has a bit too many members for such thing as his secret cheerfulness to stay actually secret for too long. He did try, though, to keep his dour persona a few times in the beginning, but eventually has given up and started acting like a kid his age at least among these people, not without Naruto’s encouragement and example, of course.

The concept of ‘family of choice’ feels rather alien to Itachi; he can’t say he understands all these cheerful people, but a smile on Sasuke’s face, and the presence of someone, who is personally familiar with the side of Itachi’s otouto that he hopes nothing will bring up to life now, is enough for Itachi to just let them be.

It is now that he truly realises how different he and Sasuke are ― something he didn’t see back then in his first life. And he understands that he was the one, who destroyed that part of his brother, that part, that now allows him to smile, laugh and love, and it is not regret he feels ― he knows that back then he believed he was doing the right thing, and so there is no point to regret it ― but shame.

Even after several years since he got here in this changed old new life, he doesn’t truly feel that he belongs, walking along the Uchiha’s district among those who have been ghosts in his memory for too long, and he wonders if Kakashi feels the same, when he sometimes gets this distant look on his face when watching his sensei or his husband.

It is still a bit strange to be living in this village, to be a rightful part of it, to not be forced to make an impossible choice, but just live. It is still a bit strange to see his mother’s smile every day, to hear his father talking about Itachi being the next clan leader ― the man who once eliminated all Uchiha but one.

It is a blessing, which he doesn’t think he deserves, to see the relaxed and happy face of his otouto, to have him so close.

It is something, that he can’t quite put a name to, to get to see Shisui almost every day, alive, well, and without a tinge of bitter finality in his smile.

Itachi often dreams of his otouto’s scared big eyes the day when Itachi killed their parents, but Sasuke’s warm hand on his forehead soothes him to a deeper sleep without dreams. He sees Shisui’s face in his nightmares too ― a trail of blood slowly making its way from under the closed eyelids, and that final smile Itachi hates so much for it gave the power to his eyes that was never worth this sacrifice.

Nightmares are nothing new to him, but after years of a much calmer life than he could ever dream of, and Sasuke, when the boy was still little, being a warm presence at his side, that was effectively chasing away even hints of nightmares, Itachi has to admit that he grew to dislike spending nights completely alone. It is a weakness and it makes him uncomfortable, and he thinks perhaps he shouldn’t have let himself get used to this much safer life like that, but every time Sasuke is not spending the night at home, Itachi can’t bring himself to sleep. He sneaks from the house and walks to Shisui’s place, his cousin always greeting him with a warm smile and a teasing comment, a spare futon is waiting for him in the corner of the room.

Shisui talks them both to sleep, never asking any questions, nor pushing quiet Itachi to speak. Itachi can’t quite remember himself in his first life, before all that happened, when he was just a thirteen year-old boy, without a heavy choice lying on his shoulders yet. Was he as silent and distant as he is now? Would that Itachi try to answer something to his friend’s chattering, or just quietly listen like he does now, watching the fast movements of Shisui’s lips and the gleam in his dark eyes, that always look like they are smiling?

It is strange to have him by his side again, so alive and lively, when the power of Mangekyō is still a tangible presence in Itachi’s eyes, that apparently were not affected by his death and this time-jump. Itachi is not particularly sentimental, and he doesn’t think that he doesn’t need this power now, since the man whose death gave it to him, is still alive, but it’s just another reminder of the life Itachi had before.

But he would easily give his Mangekyō up if only he could stop seeing in his dreams the visions imprinted by it in his memory.

He makes a note to not mention to Sasuke where he spent his night ― the one time he did a few years back, the boy got unexplainably furious with something Itachi couldn’t call anything else but possessive jealousy. It would be worrisome, but Itachi fast noticed, that it was simply one of Sasuke’s quirks, that seem to sit too deep inside him to try to root it out ― the boy being almost as possessive about Naruto, as he is about Itachi. It never goes past a gloomy face and several sharp words, neither of those really bothering anyone who comes too close to Sasuke’s two favorite people, and Shisui apparently even taking delight into pushing Sasuke’s buttons.

Itachi doesn’t know what to expect when this Naruto is replaced by the one from his first life. He doesn’t know what became of the apparent rivalry between Sasuke and Naruto, since he wasn’t alive to witness its results, and Kakashi has been reluctant to share any details from their past lives. Itachi knows he would’ve probably been able to make him talk if he pushed a bit more, but he hasn’t found himself to be particularly curious, more focused on ‘here and now’.

It backfires when he finds himself being slightly worried about the state of the friendship between this Sasuke and now _that_ Naruto, since he knows how Naruto is important to Sasuke, but suspects that the nineteen-year-old time-traveler would hardly be willing to keep up with a twelve-year-old boy, no matter what relationship he might have had with him before.

Itachi quickly finds out that he apparently knows nothing about Naruto, since he not only manages to stay friends with Sasuke without the boy suspecting anything, but merges into this new life so fast, that it leaves even Itachi a bit envious.

Itachi and Naruto’s parents fill him in as much as they are able to, and Naruto rather willingly shares the details of the war that Itachi almost entirely missed, as well as some details of his relationship with Sasuke, which apparently got to a new level a year before Naruto died, that Itachi really didn’t want to know and didn’t really ask but now it’s too late. At least he doesn’t have to worry about the state of Sasuke’s heart, not that Itachi understands his otouto’s crush on his best friend anyway.

They are different, of course, the Naruto that Itachi has seen growing up side by side with Sasuke, and this Naruto, that Itachi remembers only from the few short meetings in their first life, when they easily could be considered enemies. Itachi doesn’t know the second one very well, but it is easy to see that they are the same person, and the small differences between them are obvious only when one knows where to look, or when one had years of the similar traumatic existence as this Naruto had.

Itachi doesn’t know if Naruto’s cheerful behavior is simply an attempt to make those, who doesn’t know, less suspicious, as well as to hide behind wide smiles and loud laughs the slight tensing of his shoulders every time that someone walks to him from behind, and the intensity of his eyes, that are observing too carefully everything and everyone around him. But perhaps it’s just Naruto, the ball of energy and optimism in a human form, that even three years of war hadn’t been able to dim.

Since Naruto appeared here half a year ago, Itachi has never seen him not smile. He smiles to his parents, he smiles to Itachi, he smiles to Kakashi, and smiles wider the more sullenly the man looks at him. He smiles the brightest when he looks at Sasuke, and Itachi thinks that it is a bit different from how they were before, and Sasuke notices, and throws a warning look at Itachi, silently daring him to mention anything about the faint blush on his cheeks.

Naruto even smiles to Obito, the man Itachi thought he would have troubles to get along with considering his previous experience of meeting him, but perhaps Naruto takes Kakashi’s warning too seriously and tries too hard to not let Obito suspect anything. Or, perhaps, they are just too alike, and Naruto takes everything from this opportunity to have a new friend.

In the early morning Itachi quietly walks out of Shisui’s house so as not to wake his friend, and heads to the Hatake compound to pick Sasuke up and then go to one of the Training grounds, whichever is not occupied today, and finds himself in the middle of what should’ve probably been a morning rush of people getting ready to go to their respective jobs, but apparently has gone wrong at some point. This is not a new experiences for Itachi, who’s witnessed more than once how a morning routine of two people with too much energy to spare might look like when the only reasonable person in the house is too blinded by his adoration of both of them to try to restrict their fooling around in any way.

But now Itachi can’t help but be amused, because, when instead of the almost thirteen-year-old Naruto the much older version of him is occupying that body, Itachi has certainly not expected this to be a thing anymore.

First, when he gets close to the door, it opens, smashing violently in the wall, and an orange ball shots past a slightly startled Itachi, followed by a furious Kushina ― _and what is she even doing here?_ ― who, noticing the Uchiha, stops abruptly and gives him a short smile, only to rush after her son the next moment, screaming  promises of an imminent punishment.

The [sōzu](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shishi-odoshi) in the garden hits the rock with a sharp clack, emptying itself, the soft ‘puff’ of a dispelled Kage Bunshin sounds vaguely from the direction where just a moment ago Itachi saw the teenager in an orange jumpsuit running to, followed by a loud _“_ Narutooo! _”_ , something heavy falls down breaking in the house, and the Uchiha hears a near hysterical laughter which unmistakably belongs to his otouto.

Itachi enters the house, instantly stepping to the side, letting returning Kushina run back inside mumbling under her breath, “ _Kuso-gaki dattebane”_ , and takes in the view before him.

There is a lot to take in. A lot of Naruto, that is. Itachi remembers how he came here several years ago, soon after he was thrown back in past, to discover that Naruto, while being just the one hyperactive kid among ― mostly ― adequate adults, well compensated for it with the amount of himself present. Itachi suspected that teaching the seven year old kid Kage Bunshin no jutsu was probably Kakashi’s doing rather than Yondaime’s, and that hardly was his best decision, as it was his house that since then has been ravaged by the child who’s never known when to stop.

Surprisingly, the view before Itachi’s eyes now is not that much different from some of the previous times he’s been here. Which is odd, or maybe Itachi doesn’t know _this_ Naruto well enough, because the house is flooding with blond teenagers in orange jumpsuits, and either Naruto has fallen into the role of the twelve-year-old even more successfully than Itachi suspected him to, along with apparently feeling nostalgic for his flashy clothing, or the time-travelled Naruto time travelled again somewhen else, leaving them with his local self once again.

Kakashi doesn’t seem to mind the clones, scampering around the house stomping and yelling, not showing any surprise to the fact either, too engaged in conversation with Rin and Tenzō. Rin is holding Kakashi’s hand in both of hers in front of her chest and telling him something, smiling widely, faint blush on her cheeks. Tenzō is nodding occasionally, and Kakashi’s face shifts from his trademarked eyes-smile to something more tender and then back as if he is not sure how to react, when he looks between his friends, who seem to try to convince him of something. Itachi doesn’t hear the words, but he has a vague idea what this might be about ― he heard some rumors from Sasuke, who learnt them from Naruto ― back when it was the Naruto who hadn’t been replaced by his previous version yet ― who obviously didn’t know anything about keeping a private information to himself.

It is not Itachi’s business and he doesn’t entertain the thought further ― he probably wouldn’t be able to figure out the dynamics between the two couples (and mostly among the former Minato team) even if he had any remote desire to. Which he doesn’t. So he turns back to his own task and steps deeper into the house.

Two Naruto run past him, only to be caught by Kushina who grabs them by ears, tugging violently and spitting curses once both clones are dispelled. The main reason of the fuss is both Naruto _and_ Obito, who are now engaged in some sort of a ridiculous fight at the end of the hall.

Obito, barefoot, wearing only pajama pants and several Naruto clones who are way too big already for this but still somehow manage to be hanging from him like oversized grapes, is trying to dodge the kicks of small feet in his torso, that are apparently more ticklish than painful judging by his choked laughs and tears in his eyes, turning his head from one clone to another, screaming in their faces only to receive more kicks in his sides and even louder screeches in his ears by overexcited Naruto.

Itachi stops at a safe distance from them, observing the scene before him, musing how after all what he has been through Naruto hasn’t lost his sparkle. Perhaps it is a good thing that he is here now. Kakashi certainly has something to learn from him and maybe it will eventually prove more good than bad for the man.  When Naruto replaced his younger self here, he not only unwillingly erased the one Kakashi had created new memories with, and, Itachi suspects, had some fatherly feelings for, but also brought up memories Kakashi has definitely been trying to forget, if his reluctance to speak about what happened in their first life even with the fellow time traveller is any indication of that. Itachi doesn’t know how much of it Naruto realises, and is not sure if it’s a good idea to tell him, but he knows that if anyone can pull Kakashi from his brooding, it is this Naruto.

“I’m telling you I will be Hokage, _dattebayo_!”

“No, _I_ will, cause I am older than you, Naru-baka!”

“And I am smarter than you, kuso-jiji!”

“Hey, you kuso-gaki! I am not that old!”

“Oi, baka!” A shuriken flies to one of the Narutos, jabbing him in the forehead, that immediately caused the clone to dispel. Itachi looks up and sees Sasuke crouching on the railing of the stairs leading to the second floor, laughing, and lazily, but rather enthusiastically throwing shurikens in the scattered on the first floor and on Obito clones.

“You [teme](https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=teme&defid=3451503)!” the remaining Narutos yell at the same time shifting their attention to the Uchiha. Obito uses their distraction to free one of his arms, grabs one Naruto by the collar of his ridiculous jumpsuit and launches him at the nearest wall. The boy crushes into it with a thud and vanishes into white smoke. “How did you know it was a bunshin?”

“I didn’t!” Sasuke laughs, throwing another shuriken. Itachi sighs, thinking that he might have overdid it with letting his otouto have his way more often than not, but doesn’t interfere yet.

One of the Narutos jumps down hurriedly from where he was hanging on Obito’s neck, that leaves the older man exposed to the blade flying in his direction. He takes a step to the side to avoid it, but one of the clones sitting on the floor kicks him under a knee, which results in Obito falling down, burying two Narutos under him who instantly disappear with a double ‘puff’. That leaves just two Narutos left, one jumping on Obito’s back and trying to overpower him to lock his arms behind his back, which would perhaps prove rather difficult if Obito wasn’t so ticklish. Naruto uses his bare feet to tickle the man’s ribs with his toes, Obito cursing and laughing, thrashing under Naruto trying to throw him off but to no avail.

The second Naruto jumps and grabs Sasuke’s ankle, pulling him down, boys colliding and crashing on the floor, Sasuke is laughing and not even making an attempt to free himself.

“Seeing you like that, Naruto, it’s hard to believe you are as old as you actually are,” Kakashi’s voice mocks from behind Itachi, and Itachi pushes down an involuntary chuckle. He looks at Kakashi, who walks closer and props himself at the wall across from Itachi, and there is the most genuine smile on his face Itachi has ever seen him giving Naruto since the third time-traveler appeared here.

Four heads jerk up; well, three do ― it is rather hard for Obito to turn and look up from where he is lying on the floor under one of the Narutos, who, only shortly distracted by Kakashi’s comment, resumes his tickling.

“Help me, Kashi!” The muffled cry for help doesn’t sound very genuine, when being interrupted by goofy giggles, and Kakashi’s smile transforms into an almost evil grin.

“No, you seem to be enjoying yourself.”

“I’ll divorce you, Bakashi!” Obito manages before Naruto turns around while still sitting on the man’s back, and grabs one of his legs to tickle his bare foot. The result is a wild cry mixed with loud laughing from both participants.

“You won’t, and we both know that,” Kakashi chuckles, looking completely unimpressed with the threat.

“Traitor!”

Itachi looks away from the pleasantly smiling Kakashi, who is watching the scene before him with way too much warmth in his eyes for someone looking at his husband about to have a heart attack from too much tickling.

“Niisan!” Sasuke jumps to his feet and walks to Itachi, looking at him with a naked adoration, Itachi still doesn’t quite think he deserves. It is even weirder now, when Sasuke is the same age as he was, when he ran into Itachi in the small inn all those long years ago, and Itachi had to use [Tsukuyomi ](http://naruto.wikia.com/wiki/Tsukuyomi)on him again, trapping him in a nightmare. Itachi is not sure one more life is long enough to atone for this. “What are you doing here?”

Itachi gently pokes Sasuke’s forehead, earning a wide happy grin, that makes Sasuke look much younger, and brings warm comfort in Itachi’s chest. “I have a day off, otouto. We can train, if you want.”

“Yes!”

“That’s unfair! Rin! Save me, Rin! Somebody!” Obito’s desperate cry draws their attention back to the man, sprawled on the floor, and apparently the second Naruto, now without the threat of being pierced by Sasuke’s shurikens, decided to help the one on Obito’s back, and got hold of Obito’s other leg, now two Narutos furiously tickling both of the man’s feet. “I’m dying! Help!”

“Rin!” Kakashi calls, turning towards the opposite end of the house. “Obito needs you!”

“Are you letting Naruto mess with him again, Kakashi?” Rin says, walking towards them from the kitchen. “Oh, hi, Itachi-kun, I haven’t noticed when you came in.” She looks at Itachi with a bright smile, before stepping past them to Obito, thrashing in a hysterical laughter.

“Rin! Help me, Rin!”

Naruto stops his attack for a second to look up at Rin, but she just kneels near Obito’s head and plants her hand on the side of his face, and apparently not seeing any threat from her, Naruto resumes his tickling.

“Rin!”

“I’m here, Obito. See, what your kind heart costs you? You are being too soft with him.” Her words are teasing, but Itachi can see that the smile on her face is genuine, when she softly runs her fingers through Obito’s hair.

“Where is the kind caring Rin I knew?!” Obito whines rather melodramatically, but closes his eyes and smiles, while Rin keeps stroking his hair. “I know it’s Tenzō, he ruined you,” he adds, relaxing, and Itachi notices a barely visible green light coming from under Rin’s fingers. Whatever it is she is doing, it is definitely working ― Naruto’s assault on the man’s bare feet are not doing the same effect as before, and two identical boys stop and, puzzled, scratch the backs of their heads.

“Don’t drag me into it,” Tenzō’s unimpressed voice sounds from the kitchen, and Itachi turns to see him coming out to the hallway, followed by Kushina. “I’m leaving. Itachi-kun, didn’t see you come in. You have a day off today?”

“Yes. I will be at the Training Grounds.”

“Alright. See you, Kakashi-senpai, Obito-senpai. Bye, Sasuke. Naruto.” Both Naruto look up at him with an innocent smile that doesn’t look even close to being sincere.

“Yes, Ya―” he starts answering, but stumbles and throws an apologising look at Kakashi, whose face doesn’t promise him any good. “Yes, Tenzō?” Naruto quickly corrects himself, and Itachi wonders how many times has Naruto already slipped calling Tenzō with the wrong name.

“Behave,” Tenzō finishes, and both Narutos pale and visibly shiver at the look they receive. It is no wonder ― Itachi has witnessed even Kakashi, not to mention Obito, being affected by Tenzō’s trademarked intimidating look.

The effect is slightly ruined by Kushina’s giggling and Sasuke’s chuckles, but both Naruto nod energetically and hurriedly rise to their feet, finally freeing Obito, who doesn’t look to be in a particular hurry to stand up, looking way too comfortable in his position on the floor, talking with Rin about something quietly.  

Itachi wonders what memories of Tenzō Naruto has from his first life, since the one look from the man is all what takes it to make him stop his mischiefs.

“Where are you staying tonight, Naruto?” Kushina asks.

“I’ll come home,” two identical voices answer, and Kushina smiles and follows Tenzō out of the house.

Both Naruto relax visibly and crouch near the lying man joining his conversation with Rin.

“You were throwing shurikens at Naruto, Sasuke,” Itachi draws Sasuke’s attention back to him and with the side of his eyes sees Kakashi looking at them. “Explain.” He doesn’t say anything more, there is no need to point, that they both perfectly know how dangerous it could be as well as the fact, that Sasuke would rather let himself be hurt before really hurting his precious friend. _And_ before ever admitting it outloud.

“There is a medic nin in the house, he’d survive,” the boy shrugs, doesn’t seem to be bothered in any way, and while Itachi doesn’t believe his careless posture a single bit, Kakashi slips his impassive expression on his face, that in general means that along with not being impressed he is actually rather displeased, though it doesn’t have the same effect as when he has his actual mask on.

“Sasuke.”

Sasuke sighs, glances at the two Naruto, now occupied chatting with Rin, while she keeps absentmindedly stroking Obito’s hair, who has such a blissful expression on his face, that Itachi suspects if they all keep silent for a moment they could probably hear the man purring, and then looks up at Kakashi, answering reluctantly with a quiet voice, “I was aiming at the clones.”

Kakashi tilts a brow, but before he can ask, Itachi speaks first, “How did you recognise the clones?”

“I didn’t. Obito was going easy on one of them, so I figured he noticed who the original was, when Naruto just made them.” He doesn’t add _‘..and if you tell Naruto, I’ll strangle you in your sleep’_ , but Itachi recognises the look in his eyes and silently smiles. Kakashi is as familiar with Sasuke’s tells as Itachi, he chuckles, before turning his attention back to Obito and Rin.

“Rin, Obito has ten minutes before we need to leave, if you don’t stop it, and he’ll be late, I will let you explain the reason to the Hokage.”

“He is so strict, right, Obito,” she coos, but lifts her hand from Obito’s hair, and rises to her feet. Obito whines, but opens his eyes and raises himself to a sitting position. “Don’t listen to Tenzō, Naru-chan,” she says to both of the present Naruto, kisses one on the cheek and another on the forehead. “Enjoy your life to the fullest.” She smiles and, after giving a goodbye hug to Kakashi, leaves.

“Hey, Naruto, want to go train with me and Itachi?” Sasuke asks pointedly looking at only one of the two Narutos, who Itachi suspects might be the real one, if Sasuke’s observation was correct.

“Sure!” both Naruto says at the same time, smiling widely. Sasuke walks to one of them, grabs his hand, and starts walking to the exit, leaving another Naruto scratching the back of his head in confusion.

Itachi can see the curiosity in the look Kakashi gives the two boys, and Itachi can’t help but wonder himself if Sasuke was right.

“Hey, Sasuke,” Naruto says playfully but with an audible uncertainty in his voice. “Don’t you care if I’m a bunshin?”

“You are not a bunshin,” Sasuke answers simply and stops when they reach the door to throw a look at Itachi. “You coming, niisan?”

Itachi nods to Kakashi and walks toward his otouto and his friend.

“How do you know, Sasuke?”

Sasuke opens the door and the three of them walk outside. Sasuke lets go of Naruto hand taking a step toward the street and Itachi can see a corner of his mouth tilting in a smile.

“I always know,” he says confidently, and the uncertain look on Naruto’s face that always makes him look much younger than he is ― and even than he physically is ― shifts to something that one could rarely see on a face of a mere teenager. There is some seriousness in the tightness of his eyes, but they are shining bright, and if his smile looks a bit bitter at first, it has nothing but happiness in it, when the muffled ‘puff’ sounds from within the house, and Sasuke throws a victorious smile at his friend above the shoulder.

Itachi doesn’t know what it is that makes someone look at another human being like they hung sun and moon in the sky, and he wonders what it might feel like. He hadn’t really had time to even think about it before he died, having other priorities in his life that didn’t even promise to be long. There was a girl, he remembers, an Uchiha girl, who he thinks found some liking in him a couple of years before the Massacre. He doesn’t remember either her name, or her face. He doesn’t know what she thought of him, but for him she was just another face among many he didn’t feel any connection with.

This life is different though. This life gives him many happy smiles to look at, something that he almost didn’t get to see before, and he thinks, if he figures out what it is that makes these people smile, it wouldn’t be that bad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the next chapter: _Tenzou was hardly ten when he was transferred from the ROOT to ANBU by the Yondaime’s order, and his life changed._ \- Tenzou's POV.
> 
> We have Tenzou's flashback chapter and then Naruto's pov chapter and it will be the end of Part one in this installment (if more ideas don't strike me all of a sudden). Part two will focus more on "now" with probably no flashbacks, and we'll finally get a glimpse on what's going on in Kakashi's head. ShiIta is planned and there will be a bit of mild angst but more fluff too. Rating will go up to M due to sexual content (ShiIta for sure, I plan on ObiKaka as well). I have raw drafts for about 7 chapters there, all is left is to finish writing them (HAHA). 
> 
> Sorry for updating this so slow, I am not abandoning this fic, just have some sort of a writer's block, that is getting worse the more ideas I have (I currently have 7 in-progress fics...).
> 
> Thank you so much for everyone who subscribed and left comments! You keep me inspired =)


	11. (Tenzou; flashback)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tenzou is having the time of his life in ANBU in the company of Kakashi, Itachi and Shisui; Shisui is curious how Kakashi had learnt so many jutsu, but Kakashi is an evasive bastard, Itachi pretends that he doesn't care about anything, and Tenzou is too busy going on dates with Rin to bother, but Rin tells him something and Tenzou decides to find out Kakashi's secret.  
> Will he succeed? Let's find out!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finally made it, wow.

##  Honesty may be the best policy, but it’s important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy

Tenzou was hardly ten when he was transferred from the ROOT to ANBU by the Yondaime’s order, and his life changed. One of the first changes was a weird masked boy from his ANBU team with observant dark eyes, that tilted in a carefree smile so often that at least half of it couldn’t be genuine. That was the first time when Tenzou saw someone smiling with their eyes, but considering that the boy hid the rest of his face, perhaps it was just his way to compensate and there was nothing weird about it. The boy ― his name was Kakashi ― was reserved to the point of being paranoid, which Tenzou could somewhat relate to, and was full of strange jokes and comments, most of which Tenzou didn’t understand, that seemed not to bother Kakashi even in the slightest. 

As soon as Tenzou met him, Kakashi made sure to let him know that they were friends, although Tenzou didn’t quite understand the concept back then, but Kakashi seemed to know what he was doing, and his presence was comforting and not annoying, so Tenzou let it be. 

It is important to mention though, that at that moment Tenzou hadn’t been Tenzou yet, and still bore the name that had been given him in ROOT and that he’d never really considered his own. So when on one of their very first missions they met a girl, who said that Tenzou looked like her lost brother, Kakashi grasped this opportunity to give Tenzou his name, which he happily announced to the rest of ANBU the very next day. Tenzou didn’t mind. 

Aside from the general similarities in the way of work, ANBU turned out to be very different from ROOT, and Tenzou felt almost at home among the masked shinobi, all of those, he was surprised to find out, were older than him and even than Kakashi. In fact, before a ten-year-old Itachi joined four years later, Tenzou had been the youngest member of ANBU.

None of the ANBU could be considered particularly normal people, compared to simple villagers and even other shinobi, and as Tenzou saw it, Kakashi was probably the weirdest of them all. But then came Shisui, who was the same age as Tenzou and who smiled too much for an Uchiha ― and Tenzou would also have found it strange, if he wasn’t already gotten used to Obito, who was Kakashi’s former teammate and his boyfriend for two years then, and honestly, when it came to be all cheerful and smiling, no other Uchiha could compare to Obito. Itachi joined with Shisui, and Itachi didn’t smile at all, but his eyes were strangely serious in a way Tenzou sometimes saw Kakashi’s eyes getting when they were not smiling. 

And Itachi was even weirder than Kakashi and Tenzou both, and this was saying something. Kakashi apparently found this interesting, because he was watching Itachi a bit more intently than others on his team, and Itachi didn’t show that he noticed the attention, but Tenzou thought that he probably did. He was politely calling Kakashi ‘senpai’, and sometimes would tilt his head just a bit as if in consideration, when Kakashi used some particularly complicated jutsu, and only once initiated a conversation with their team captain by asking where he had gotten the scar across his left eye. Tenzou knew the story, but he didn’t mind listening again, when Kakashi told it to Itachi and Shisui. Itachi just humed and didn’t comment seemingly lost in his thoughts as he was most of the time, but Shisui observed him closely, tilted one brow, and turning to Kakashi with a bright smile, said, that he considered astonishing how a shinobi with no sharingan could learn all those difficult jutsu. Kakashi laughed and answered something resembling a joke, Itachi frowned to the ground, and Tenzou thought how come he himself had never thought about this, probably accepting from the very beginning that his senpai was just that awesome.

This conversation was never brought up again, but Kakashi kept watching Itachi, Itachi kept watching Kakashi, and Shisui was obviously watching them both. Tenzou felt that he was missing something important but couldn’t quite place his finger on what it was, so he ended up if not actually spying on all three of them, but came very close to ― thankfully, them being on one team, made it much easier.

The situation ― if there was the situation in the first place ― somehow resolved about three years later, when Kakashi quite abruptly left ANBU, which might or might not have been connected with his engagement to Obito, Itachi suddenly unwound, and even started smiling ― though the occasions were rare and mostly had to do with him mentioning his little brother in a conversation ― and Shisui added to his thoughtful observations of his younger cousin some less thoughtful and more playful edge Tenzou had been familiar with, when he had watched Obito and Kakashi dancing around each other before they had gotten together.

Itachi was hardly fourteen and utterly oblivious. Shisui didn’t seem to mind.

Not for the first time Tenzou thought that he didn’t understand other people. 

But apparently it was the time where he had to start learning to, because now, when he couldn’t see his best friend almost every day, he had to go and see him at his house, when he had time between the missions, and that meant, Obito was also there, as well as, occasionally, Kakashi’s other former teammate Rin and even Hokage and his family, because there was this air of _ we would’ve adopted you, if only, but consider we did _ going on back and forth among those people, and Tenzou felt a little bit awkward around them, especially when, looking at Obito playing with little Naruto, he actually suspected, that two Hatake  _ would’ve _ indeed adopted the boy if he didn’t have actual parents.

Naruto was a copy of his parents by his looks and character, and, somehow, when it came to his personality, partially of Obito too. And if Tenzou didn’t know better, he’d think that either Naruto was Obito’s son, or Obito was actually Naruto’s older brother. Only the former was technically possible, but either was rather impossible in principle ― Obito was just too obviously Uchiha with all that comes with it. And also Tenzou didn’t want to imagine how much weirder these people and their relationship would be. 

Perhaps it was simply the lack of normal childhood and his own family, and maybe there was nothing over the top with Kakashi’s ‘pack’, but it would hardly do him any good thinking too much into it, so Tenzou just accepted the things as they were.

Itachi was also there sometimes, bringing his otouto to play with Naruto, and that’s when Tenzou found out, that if he considered himself to be socially awkward with adults ― save for Kakashi ― he was apparently even worse with kids.

Little Sasuke hated him at the first sight. Tenzou would’ve gotten worried, but he soon realised that the boy hated pretty much everyone who wasn’t his brother and ― occasionally ― little Naruto. The highest his unexplained ferocity was reaching when he would get sight of Shisui being anywhere near Itachi, much to everyone’s amusement and Shisui’s total indifference.

Naruto seemed to be afraid of Tenzou ―  _ It’s all your eyes, _ Kakashi was laughing, not bothering to clarify what was wrong with them ― which was probably a bad sign for him, since Naruto didn’t seem to be afraid of anything. At all.

And then there was Rin. 

Tenzou had known Rin for years through Kakashi, but there had been not many occasions when he could actually talk to her before Kakashi left ANBU. It all changed then, since Rin was also a frequent guest at Hatake compound, and Tenzou very soon realised, that each time he was going to see his best friend, he secretly hoped that Kakashi’s former teammate would be there as well. 

It was not a sentiment Tenzou had been accustomed with, as throughout his whole life perhaps only Kakashi had been able to form such connection with him, so Tenzou would purposefully seek more time to spend with his friend. Tenzou didn’t dislike other people, he just genuinely was not interested in them, too used to being a loner since his early years, and growing up among ROOT and later ANBU didn’t really make him any more social.

But there was something about Rin that was just enthralling. She was just that kind of person who instantly made her way into the hearts of everyone she met without even trying. Tenzou had met cheerful people, he had even seen a few genuinely kind ones, and it’s not that most shinobi he knew were  _ un _ kind, but simply the nature of their work didn’t leave much room for easy warm smiles and sentimentality. They always had some rough and bitter edges in them.

It was completely missing in Rin. 

While being objectively a great shinobi, who, along with Kakashi and Obito had successfully returned from many missions, nothing of what such missions usually consist of seemed to stain her any bit. She seemed to be made of light, on a completely different level than Naruto was, for example, who was full of explosive energy. Naruto’s light was a blinding fire, he was a force, already at his young age, and Tenzou was curious to see what kind of shinobi would grow from that kid.

Rin’s light was soft, warm and caring. Tenzou had never seen her not smile, and her smiles were very kind and genuine, as if every moment of her life she was able to see something that made her happy, most of that very often was happiness of people around her. 

She really cared. And it was almost alien for Tenzou. Sure, he served Konoha, he did it willingly and was proud of the role he played in his village. But that’s what it was for him ― the village, his home, that it was so natural for him to protect. But he never much thought of single individuals filling in Konoha’s streets, the actual people who he, as a part of ANBU, was keeping from possible dangers.

They were so different, he and Rin. He couldn’t really understand her, but those things he didn’t understand were drawing him to her even more. He didn’t intend to do anything though, happy to be a recipient of those warm smiles occasionally when he visited Kakashi and Rin would happen to be there as well. It was nothing, really, sure he could have more friends than just one, right?

It was Kakashi, of course, who, after watching Tenzou  _ pining  _ for, as he insisted,  _ at least a year, you’re ridiculous, and no, it was different with me and Obito, shut up,  _ started then nagging him about inviting Rin on a date ― not that Tenzou had any slightest idea of how dates should even look like and what to do on them ― and completely ignoring all the intimidating looks Tenzou was throwing his way each time when Kakashi would not too discreetly wink at him with apparent mischief in his eyes when Rin would smile at Tenzou and Tenzou would smile in return, because he just couldn’t help it, and he was glad that apparently he was not a blushy type.

Tenzou was quite confident in himself as a shinobi. As a person though... He hadn’t really given himself as a person much thought. A boy raised in a tank, with a name that wasn’t even his own, not even able to sire his own children as he was  told after a thorough medical check Yondaime insisted on as soon as he had learned about the experiments Tenzou had been a subject of — acquiring an ability that was long dead for the shinobi world apparently had its price. He was a perfect tool for his village, but never thought about himself as more than that. It didn’t make him bitter though, it was just how things were, his own normality. 

Until Rin came into picture. 

First time in his life the thought that he might not be worthy of something crossed his mind. First time in his life he really was ready to step outside the familiar simple patterns of his life in a hope to acquire something good for himself.

So after just a couple of weeks of Kakashi almost constantly, given an occasion, poking Tenzou about giving it a try, Tenzou gave up, and worked up the courage to invite Rin on a date.

Rin accepted with the warmest smile Tenzou had ever seen on her face.

The date went well, despite all his fears, as well as the second. They kissed for the  first time ― rather awkwardly ― in the end of the third date, and Tenzou was genuinely surprised that Rin accepted his affection. He spent some time after it contemplating if it was too early or on the contrary ― too late. But that’s not like he ever had been taught all those social nuances. His childhood was spent in an experimentation lab, and the rest of his life ― among ANBU by the side of Kakashi and Itachi, who too were also not the best representation of socially adapted individuals. How Kakashi, reserved, downright secretive and quite paranoid, managed to start dating Obito, who was bright, loud and seemed to have friends in the face of almost every single villager, was beyond Tenzou’s comprehension. Itachi for his part seemed to be gloriously oblivious to Shisui’s attention, who quite obviously for everyone except Itachi, had a thing for his younger cousin, and Tenzou suspected that this might not had been the best example of normality either.

After a few more dates Tenzou voiced his doubts to Kushina, accidentally and to his own surprise ― the woman had an ability to make anyone spill their guts. He didn’t say that he thought he was not quite normal enough to deserve Rin’s attention, but Kushina managed to pick up the general thought from his clumsy mumbling, and smiled at him with a knowing look. 

“She has spent all her life with Kakashi and Obito,” she said simply and looked at him with laughter in her eyes.

She did have a point here, and Tenzou was not much into dwelling on something for too long, especially after being reassured by someone who he had highly respected, that he had no reasons to be so worked up.

He nodded gratefully, shrugged and went on with his life that now, on top of the familiar pattern of sleep-training-mission-sleep was brightened by dates with Rin, that each time brought him new experience, new information to muse about later and the realisation that life consisted of not only duty, but pleasure of being with someone who made him happy, and he watched with amusement how the novelty of being allowed to have something like that, like all other people do, slowly became something normal for him, and he managed to almost forget that he himself actually wasn’t.

Rin talked about her former teammates a lot, Kakashi especially. It was understandable, considering they were her closest friends since childhood, and Tenzou forbid himself to be jealous ― he knew that there was a time when Rin was in love with Kakashi, but it a was a relatively long time ago, and she was with Tenzou now, and Kakashi looked like he was on heavens nine when he was with Obito, and Tenzou even thought that perhaps it all was just meant to be.

But there was something still bothering him each time Rin told some story from when the three of them were still genin. It didn’t took him too long to realise that it was the way Rin described Kakashi ― the boy from her stories was not just different from the man Tenzou knew now, but in a way sound like another person. No being late even a single time, obsessively following rules, unfriendly and openly cold to his teammates ― it was such a different picture from how the man was now. Yes, tense and reserved more times than not, but his eyes were warm and somewhat relaxed when he looked at his friends, and Tenzou remembered more than one occasion when Kakashi was even later to a meeting than Obito, who was just generally a very disorganised person.

This Kakashi preferred windows to doors, seemed to value his friends more than pretty much anything else, and was often seen being sprawled on random surfaces with a book of porn in his hand and an expression of utter boredom on his face. 

Rin said that the mission in the end of the war, which almost costed them their lives, had probably been the catalyst for this change, but it didn’t ease up Tenzou’s suspicions. He wasn’t quite sure what he was even so suspicious about, but something didn’t add up. He might not have been a people person, but he’d worked a lot of years side by side with them and had been in more than a few dangerous situations, and he knew one thing for sure ― people don’t change so drastically in a matter of one day. 

He could’ve asked Kakashi himself, of course, but the man was incredibly evasive when it came to talking about something that he was not willing to discuss, and Tenzou had a feeling this might be one of those topics. He thought of talking with Yondaime, as the man had been Kakashi’s sensei and Tenzou knew he considered Kakashi a part of his family. 

But then he remembered something he hadn’t considered important a few years back, and instead went to a man he hadn’t thought he would ever visit willingly ― having to deal with one genius was more than enough for him, really, the years he spent working side by side with  _ three _ of them had been, if interesting, still somewhat tiring ― apparently geniuses had some vibe around them that made Tenzou feel like he was always just a breath too late to understand what was happening. 

To his relief, after Kakashi left ANBU, Tenzou and two Uchiha were moved to two different teams, and except for when Itachi visited Kakashi and Obito with his otouto, Tenzou didn’t see him and especially Shisui much.

Shisui was as surprised to see Tenzou on his doorstep as Tenzou felt actually coming there. Surprise was replaced by curiosity and a polite but guarded smile, when Tenzou voiced his question and his doubts. He wasn’t the one for small talk, neither for talking too much in general, and Shisui was not his favorite person either, so he tried to be as brief as possible and cut straight to the chase.

“You seemed to be surprised by the amount of jutsu Kakashi knows. Why?”

Shisui briefly tilted one brow and put his hands in the pockets, taking a deliberately relaxed pose, but his eyes were sharp, as always.

“Do you know many shinobi who can learn as many jutsu as your friend seems to know?”

Tenzou shrugged. “You, Itachi, Obito. From those who I personally know.”

“Yes, because we have a Sharingan, Tenzou, but even we don’t seem to know as many as Kakashi.” Shisui made one step towards Tenzou and smiled wider, looking now like a cat who was promised a full cup of cream. “You too find it suspicious, don’t you?” 

Tenzou just nodded, and Shisui’s face brightened even more. “What do you know?”

Tenzou didn’t feel too good telling Shisui what he learnt from Rin, it seemed like betraying not only her trust but Kakashi’s as well, but something just was off, and it looked like Shisui had noticed that as well. He knew, that whatever it was Kakashi was hiding was not a threat to the village ― he was a loyal shinobi ― but for Tenzou it was a chance to finally crack the mystery of Kakashi’s vibe of secrecy, that was bothering Tenzou from the day they met ― he knew there was something Kakashi was not telling him, and the wrongness of it, mixed with natural curiosity, was a constant itch on the side of Tenzou’s conscious.   

Shisui’s smile fell by the end of his story, he looked more serious than Tenzou ever seen him and seemed to be contemplating telling Tenzou what he was thinking. But after a moment a smile was back on his face, he pulled his hands out of the pockets and raised them above his head, stretching lazily.

“People don’t just change like that, Tenzou-kun,” he drawled, glimpsing at Tenzou from behind his raised arm. “You must be mistaking.”

Tenzou knew Shisui enough to understand that the Uchiha did indeed take his words seriously but simply chose not to discuss it with him. Whatever reason, Tenzou sure was not going to push him ― Shisui was as bad as Kakashi when it came to wriggling his way out of an unwelcome conversation. It doesn’t mean that he didn’t feel irritated by it.

“You know something,” he said simply, not really expecting any answer.

Shisui tilted his brows in amusement, and dropped himself in the couch, stretching his legs before him. “I can assure that I don’t, Tenzou-kun.” There was a finality in his words and he was looking at Tenzou expectedly, and Tenzou could still feel his gaze on the back of his head when he was walking to the front door. 

He felt annoyed by the Uchiha, but it was hardly a new feeling, Shisui just generally had this effect on him. But he wasn’t disappointed by the visit. Sure he didn’t learn anything in particular, but Shisui’s behavior only strengthened his conviction that there actually was something wrong about Kakashi. And now he wanted to know what it was even more.

Some almost childish excitement in the eyes of this mystery settled in Tenzou’s chest, and he went as far as even finding Itachi and trying to get his opinion on the matter. This conversation was even more fruitless than the one with Shisui, as Itachi just stared blankly at him when he talked, simply said that he knew nothing, and vanished in the flock of black ravens. 

The lack of result made Tenzou even more stubborn, and next he went to Kushina, who just laughed off all his doubts, and then he even tried talking with Yondaime, who frowned at first, than smiled as widely as it was fake, and shushed him from his office, burying his nose in the documents on his desk even before Tenzou stepped outside, and mumbling something, that Tenzou couldn’t make out, except for the Kakashi’s name that sounded suspiciously close to Bakashi.

Tenzou said  _ Aha! _ , to himself of course, as to not break his image of unfriendly, cold, and a little bit scary shinobi in the eyes of others ― he didn’t really consider himself as such, but it played in his favor, as he had little to not desire of taking part in all the small talks and other social gatherings with other shinobi ― and headed straight to Hatake compound. Obito was out on the mission, Kakashi was still at work, but Tenzou knew when he should be coming back home, and he wanted to have this conversation away from curious eyes.

Now it was a question of how he was going to corner his friend to make Kakashi tell him whatever it was he was hiding. Not only Tenzou couldn’t ask him directly ― he didn’t even know what to ask about. His little investigation didn’t bring him any new fact aside from what he had already knew from Rin. All he had was just his curiosity with a drop of suspicion, and the fact, that at least Yondaime and, perhaps, Shisui definitely knew something.

After short consideration he decided to treat this as another mission, and some missions required not only physical skills, but simple lying. And lying he was good at, and he knew that. His not very expressive face and ability to not blink for a period of time that was still not too uncomfortable for his own eyes but already made the people, who he was looking at, nervous, really came in handy here. And despite Kakashi being quite immune to Tenzou’s glaring skills, he knew for a fact, that the older shinobi was not able to tell whether Tenzou was saying a truth.

The simple plan was formed in Tenzou’s head, and he allowed himself two seconds to feel a bit ashamed of him intending to lie to his friend ― by this point he was already convinced, that the said friend had lied to him for years. Tenzou wasn’t angry or upset with that, but it was a good way to justify the little lie he was going to tell Kakashi. 

He played with a few possible lines he could say to his friend in his head, chose the one that was most likely to cause a reaction, and settled himself under the door to Hatake’s house, so to be the first thing Kakashi would see when he would approach the house, and to block the entrance as a bonus, at least for a time before Kakashi would decide to run from the conversation through the window.

Tenzou hoped this would not happen, as he had faith in his choice of the phrase he was going to attempt to corner Kakashi with.

Kakashi appeared in about two hours, stopped hesitantly in front of his sitting friend and raised a white brow in a silent question. 

Tenzou decided not to beat around the bush and, without standing or in any way moving from his spot, fixed his eyes with Kakashi’s and as cold, as he managed, said,

“Why didn’t you tell me, Kakashi?”

Kakashi raised another brow, put his hands in the pockets, and asked confusingly, “Tell you what?”

Tenzou slowly stood up, holding Kakashi’s gaze, frowned and made one step toward his friend. “All these years, Kakashi… You were the one who told me we were friends. And we are, aren’t we?” Tenzou let his voice sound louder this time, adding some edge of doubt in it, but not too much, as he really was not too upset with his friend hiding something from him, but decided that would make his words more believable. “But you kept lying about the way you learnt all the jutsu, and that mission on Kannabi bridge…” It was a shot in the dark, and basically the only two things that really looked suspicious about Kakashi, and Tenzou just hoped they were somehow connected and he didn’t just made it apparent that he didn’t actually know anything. But Kakashi’s eyes widened briefly and then a crease appeared between his eyebrows, dark eyes searching Tenzou’s face. Bingo! Tenzou made another step, and said accusingly, “I expected you to trust me more.” Kakashi frowned deeper, but otherwise didn’t react. Tenzou folded his arms on his chest, and as a final blow, that he hoped would be a blow to the walls of lies Kakashi had built, and not to the Tenzou’s shaking structure of blind guesses, said, “I could’ve helped.”

Kakashi withdrew and even sagged a bit, he blinked, and asked, “Who told you?” in a voice that suddenly sounded so tired, that for a moment Tenzou thought whether he just made a huge mistake making Kakashi think about something that clearly was not pleasant in any way. But at the same time it was a win, and Kakashi was not a porcelain doll that required some special treatment, and whatever it was, there was no lie in Tenzou’s last words ― he would’ve helped, if his friend had needed it, and he would now. But first…

“ _ You _ just did,” Tenzou said, letting his lips curl in a wide sly smile at the view of Kakashi’s eyes, widened in realisation, and he jumped to the side with a chuckle, when the older man threw himself at him with a growl and  _ You little shit _ , that sounded both angry and amused.

Satisfied with the result of his little trick, Tenzou let Kakashi grab him by the collar and drag him inside the house. Still quite excited after finding out he was right suspecting Kakashi hiding something, Tenzou quickly got more serious over the time while Kakashi was telling him his story. Tenzou felt that the man left out a lot of details, either counting them as not important or simply not willing to talk about some most unpleasant parts of his past, but even what he let Tenzou know, was more than Tenzou had expected when he started his little “investigation”. If anything, it explained a lot in Kakashi’s behavior over the years, and by the end of the story Tenzou really couldn’t blame him for not being willing to share all this with anyone.

“You know, Shisui is suspecting something too,” Tenzou said after Kakashi stopped talking and they set in silence, Kakashi apparently exhausting the amount of information he was willing to share and Tenzou simply not being sure what to say.

Kakashi sighed and covered his eyes with a palm of his hand, as if he suddenly got a throbbing headache. Perhaps he did. 

“Let Itachi deal with it,” he said tiredly.

Right, Itachi was also a time-traveler… 

“Do you think anyone else could…  _ join _ later?” Tenzou voiced the question, that crossed his mind as soon as Kakashi mentioned that Itachi from his time appeared here a few years back. 

“I hope, not,” Kakashi answered, rubbed his eyes and let his hand fall.

“Why?” There could be a million reasons for why Kakashi wouldn’t want that, but Tenzou thought there was at least one that should’ve made him wish for it ― they were people from his past, who knew what he had come through, who could probably be on one page with him more, than people from this world, that Kakashi had worked to change to the better. He could talk with them about all, that he couldn’t talk with Tenzou now. Why not, then?

Kakashi looked him in the eye and then averted his eyes, staring blankly before him.

“They have to die first.”

They never talked about it again.

**~**

After a few years Tenzou stumbled across Kakashi and a twelve-year-old Naruto in the hall of the Hokage Tower, and Naruto’s face lit up as if he hadn’t seen Tenzou in a while, though it’d been just two days and Tenzou couldn’t really remember Naruto ever being that happy to see him. Kakashi’s face was completely unreadable, and Tenzou opened his mouth to great them, but was quickly interrupted by a happy,

“Yamato- [ taichou ](https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Taichou) !” 

Tenzou blinked, Naruto covered his mouth with both of his hands, turning wide eyes at Kakashi, who sighed, and lazily slapped the back of the boy’s head. Tenzou looked at his friend in question. Kakashi was frowning, but Tenzou knew him well enough to notice mischief in his eyes, and he refrained from rolling his eyes, instead turning them to Naruto and staring at him blankly. 

Naruto, until then screaming at Kakashi “It’s not my fault you failed to warn me!”, made a mistake to look back at Tenzou, almost choked on his last words and tried to take a step back, but was stopped by Kakashi’s firm hand on the back of his neck. 

“I-I mean…” the boy swallowed and threw a quick glance at Kakashi, who was, as Tenzou guessed, fighting to keep his face angry instead of letting out that laughter Tenzou saw in his eyes. “I mean, hi, Tenzou?” He managed to say the name as a question, and Tenzou stared at him even more intensely, discovering with amusement, that this Naruto, who, as Tenzou had already guessed, apparently was their third time-traveller, seemed to be even more intimidated by him, than the one he replaced here.

“Who is Tenzou?” Tenzou asked in a flat voice, and for a moment enjoyed straight-out panic filling wide blue eyes.

Kakashi chuckled. Naruto looked at him in horror, that quickly gave place to fury once he realised he was being messed with. For the next several moments Naruto was trying to land a blow on Kakashi, who was dodging gracefully, eyes smiling. Naruto stopped when patiently waiting Tenzou got in the field of his vision. He sighed and walked to him. 

“Sorry, I just…” he smiled, and while technically being the same smile Tenzou had so many times seen on Naruto’s face, there was something different about it, and Tenzou thought that while he hadn’t been able to truly become friends with Kakashi’s little brother, he might have a chance with this older version of him. “Tenzou, right?” Naruto asked and hesitantly stretched his hand.

“Yes. Hello, Naruto.” Tenzou shook the offered hand, trying not to focus too much on how weird it was meeting as if for the first time someone, who he thought he had been familiar with for years. “And how old would you be?”

“Nineteen.”

Tenzou quickly made some calculations in his head, nodded to himself and, looking at Kakashi, who was watching them from where he was lazily leaning at the opposite wall, said,

“Great. You must have so many stories to tell. I bet you will be glad to share. Unlike someone.”

Naruto threw a questioning look at Kakashi, then smiled deviously, and, turning back to Tenzou, said,

“I will tell you  _ everything _ .”

Kakashi rolled his eyes, tore himself from the wall, and started slowly walking away ― probably in search of the nearest window.

Absentmindedly listening to Naruto, who was already enthusiastically talking in that way, that Tenzou knew, wouldn’t need his response any time soon, Tenzou mused how different this Naruto seemed, but at the same time he wondered if he actually would’ve been able to notice the difference if he didn’t know the truth. 

And not for the first time the thought of whether they would’ve been friends with the Kakashi who had been in this world before Kakashi from the future replaced him crossed his mind. Had they been friends in Kakashi’s past life or just fellow shinobi? Had Tenzou found courage to invite Rin on a date back then as well? Had Kakashi been with Obito then too, or was the way Kakashi treated his husband now any indication that something bad had happened with him last time? Sure, Kakashi told him about Obito’s sharingan, but no other words about whether his teammate had been saved eventually followed. It was easy to assume the worst, but Kakashi hadn’t actually said anything, and Tenzou didn’t ask him more than he was willing to talk about. 

Tenzou knew he could ask Naruto now, but truthfully, it didn’t really matter. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope I didn't fuck up Tenzou's character too much. Plus, I wish I could give Rin more credit here, she definitely deserves it, but I suck at writing female characters, sorry
> 
>  
> 
> _In the next chapter: He is not used to having nightmares. Even at the worst of it, even in the middle of the war, having lost almost everyone he cared about, most of the time when he had an opportunity to sleep, he was too tired, and the time he could allow himself to sleep was too short to be having any dreams at all._ \-- Naruto's POV.


	12. (Naruto; now)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Naruto has nightmares, but Kakashi saves him from them like a good bro, and Naruto is grateful but not only for that. Naruto learns some stuff about Kakashi and threatens to kick his ass, Kakashi is not impressed, or mb he is because he is being a bit touchy-feely, but Naruto is fine with it.  
> I need to rewrite this summary so it sounds better, don't I?...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I appreciate all the comments, kudos and subscriptions so damn much, guys! Thank you for taking your time to read this fic and for being so patient with my slow updates!
> 
> I hope you will enjoy this chapter, we finally have Naruto talking with Kakashi here. Will he learn what it is that bothering Kakashi so much? Let's find out!

# One great thing about getting old is that you can get out of all sorts of social obligations just by saying you’re too tired

He is not used to having nightmares. Even at the worst of it, even in the middle of the war, having lost almost everyone he cared about, most of the time when he had an opportunity to sleep, he was too tired, and the time he could allow himself to sleep was too short to be having any dreams at all. But here, in this new life, when he practically has nothing to worry about, now and then nightmares catch up with him. It is somewhat expected, and he is not too bothered with them, waking up to the reality that always manages to brush off all the fears and lingering aftertaste of a dream that gone wrong.

But there is a type of a nightmare he has been hoping to never actually see, because he knows, that in sleep he will believe that it’s true, and like after every nightmare or just a very vivid dream, there is a short period of time after you wake up, when your mind, still hazed with the vision it saw while asleep, makes it seem to be real, Naruto dreads to have these short few moments when he knows he will _believe_ in what he had been fighting against for three long years.

Thankfully he has been spared so far, but apparently his mind decided to choose the one-year anniversary of being here to dig all the feeble doubts at the bottom of his subconscious, give them strength and throw them at him in the form of the most vivid nightmare he’s ever seen.

_“Naruto.”_

Never easily scared, he feels terrified in this dream, his sleeping mind probably exaggerating his possible reaction for if what he is seeing was true, but it means nothing to him, when he feels a cold sticky sweat running down his spine, and his fingers quiver.

_“Naruto!”_

He hasn’t seen this landscape for a whole year, but it doesn’t seem to change much, not that he would notice one or two more potholes in the ground already distorted by endless battles. A puddle of blood from a body lying just a couple of steps from him is slowly making its way to his feet, and he is still standing frozen and his mind is blank.

“Wake up, Naruto!”

He doesn’t wake like some would imagine people do from nightmares, jerking up on their beds, no. His dream simply stops, when the voice finally reaches his conscious, and his eyes fly open. He notices that he is holding his breath and he inhales carefully, trying to force his body, paralyzed with a lingering fear, into submission.

“Naruto, are you alright?”

He turns his head with an effort, and swallows soundly, when Kakashi’s face gets in his field of vision, and he blindly reaches for him with his hand, and exhales with relief when slightly cool fingers wrap around his tightly.

“Fucking nightmare,” he whispers not trusting his voice not to break, and then sucks in a breath and clears his throat, repeating again louder, “Fucking nightmare. Shit.”

“I know the feeling,” Kakashi answers simply and looks away. He doesn’t let go of Naruto’s hand, and Naruto is grateful, using it as a mean to ground himself into the reality. He focuses on breathing, and looks around, taking in the familiar details of his room in the warm light from the small lamp on his nightstand. Kakashi must’ve turned it on when he heard Naruto having a troubled sleep. Actually, was he really making any noises?..

“How did you?..” he doesn’t finish, when Kakashi turns back to him and points at his nose with his free hand. “Smell? What―”

“You were scared. Can’t remember you ever smelling like this.” There is an unasked question in that statement, but Naruto is not sure he is ready to discuss it just yet. He pulls his hand from Kakashi’s and sits up slowly.

“I am not entirely fearless, Kakashi, sure I have been scared before.”

“Not like this,” Kakashi answers, standing up. He props himself at the wall beside Naruto’s bed and shoves his hands in his pants’ pockets.

 _Yeah, not like this._ “Thank you.”

“Sure,” the man answers simply without looking at him, and only just now Naruto notices, that Kakashi is wearing pants and a shirt he usually wears outside, with the little exception of the mask being pulled down. A whole year and Naruto still can’t quite put a finger on what this act of trust makes him feel. He knows there is definitely a bit of a regret there that he wasn’t the one who actually has earned this trust.

“So, have you been sleeping in your street clothes and I have another trump card to use against you, or have you not been sleeping at all, and _I have another trump card to use against you?_ ” Naruto asks with a laugh, pushing himself up on the bed to lean against the hardboard.

“Why do you hate me so much, Naruto?” Kakashi whines dramatically and looks at him with a judging expression in his dark eyes.

“I don’t hate you, it’s just funny to see how Obito got you wrapped around his finger without even trying and isn’t even aware of that.”

“We’ll see who’ll get the last laugh, Naruto.”

“Huh? What do you mean?” Naruto asks with suspicion.

“Don’t think I forgot how you suddenly stopped wearing your orange jumpsuit recently,” Kakashi says with a sly smirk and eyes squinting in two mocking crescents. “And you felt so nostalgic about it…”

“It’s gotten too small for me!” Naruto folds his arms on his chest and cringes at the defensive intonations in his voice. Kakashi grins. Shit. “I have tons of other clothes and at least half of them are orange. I can perfectly live without that jumpsuit.”

“Sure, Naruto, and of course it has nothing to do with Sasuke’s numerous remarks.”

He knows Kakashi is provoking him, with this teasing tone of his and a wicked grin, and Naruto can’t even blame him for that, because the only way he can justify him having even a softer spot for Sasuke now than he used to, is that he totally caught it from Itachi. This must be contagious. Because as cute as he is here Sasuke somehow manages to still be a jerk.

“Like I’d do what this teme says.” It is more an automatic answer rather than something he would say if he really thought about it, but he did spend more years knowing _his_ Sasuke than this one, and he sure as hell wouldn’t so easily agree to whatever that Sasuke would tell him. He actually pouts now.

“Oh, Naruto, that’s way too outdated,” Kakashi laughs, and Naruto feels that this little banter managed to ease him up, and he realises that it is probably the first time during this last year, when he is having such a carefree conversation with his former sensei. It feels good.

“So, what is it then?” he asks with a grin, and Kakashi raises a brow in question. “Your clothes.”

“Ah. Wasn’t sleeping,” Kakashi answers and then withdraws, slumping his shoulders, and the little jerk of his hand doesn’t go unnoticed for Naruto ― despite being obviously used to not wearing his mask around close friends and family, Kakashi seems to still have times when having his face uncovered makes him uncomfortable. Naruto slightly regrets asking the question, but it’s already too late.

“You going to look at your age, old man, if you miss your beauty sleep,” he attempts to joke, and Kakashi sends him a murderous glance. “And Obito will have to find someone younger.”

Kakashi gropes at the table beside him, grabs Naruto’s pouch and launches it in his head. Naruto dodges with a laugh and hides under the blanket in case if Kakashi wants to throw something else at him.

“So, why weren’t you sleeping? It’s what? Three, four in the night?”

“Four.” Naruto feels the mattress dip when Kakashi sits at the side of his bed again, and he decides it’s safe enough to get out of his cover. "If you don't sleep you don't get nightmares, right, Naruto-kun?"

Naruto sits and folds his legs under him. He knows Kakashi has nightmares of course, he just never imagined it is so bad, that the man prefers not to sleep rather than deal with bad dreams.

“Obito is on a mission… It’s ‘cause of that?”

“The nightmares? No.”

“Hm, so you just don’t sleep ‘cause he is not here?” It feels like he has to forcefully pull every answer out of the man, who doesn’t bother with giving him any information above the absolute minimum Naruto’s questions address. It’s nothing new, but it hasn’t gotten any less annoying with time.

“Mm.”

"But Obito has been away for two days already."

“Yes.”

“You haven’t been sleeping this whole time?!”

“Mm.”

“Damn, you Kakashi, can you answer with more than just one word?!”

“Sure,” Kakashi says flatly, but the corner of his lips is tilting up slightly, and Naruto just wants to hit him with something heavy. There is nothing like that except for the lamp in the close proximity, so he just untagles one of his legs from under him and the blanket and attempts to kick the man, only to find his leg in a dead grip of long fingers around his ankle.

“That's insane, Kakashi. How are you even holding up?" Naruto tries to pull his leg free but to no avail, and the contemplating expression on Kakashi’s face when he looks at the bare foot in his hand, sends a shiver down his spine.

“There are ways.” Kakashi’s free hand is way too close to Naruto’s foot for his liking, and he pulls his other leg from under him, but as soon as he tries to get it out, Kakashi pushes himself up and then drops down on the bed, trapping Naruto’s leg under his thighs.

"You are taking soldier pills, aren't you? Does Obito know about it? Does _Rin_ know about it?" Naruto grabs the hand, that is holding his leg hostage, and starts pulling the fingers away from his ankle, but Kakashi’s free hand reaches to his foot and when a finger skims along it, Naruto drops back on the bed and screams for his dear life.

“What were you saying, Naruto?” Naruto hears a mocking question somewhere in between his own shrieks. It is a revenge, he realises. A cold, carefully executed revenge, when Naruto was not even expecting it. A revenge for when Naruto was tickling Obito a few months ago, and Kakashi didn’t even seem that it bothered him in any way. Damn, this man is pure evil.

“Ka― aaaaa! Kakashi-i!” He is almost out of breath from screaming and laughing and his face is wet with tears, but Kakashi continues his assault on Naruto’s foot, and Naruto is definitely going to die.

When Kakashi finally releases him, Naruto is still alive, but breathless, and he absolutely doesn’t remember what they were talking about before, which, he suspects, was Kakashi’s intention all along. Naruto contemplates kicking him again, but he is not sure he can survive another round of tickling, so he just slumps down the bed with his feet flat on the mattress, and Kakashi turns around and leans heavily with his back at Naruto’s bended legs.

“You’re heavy,” Naruto says tiredly, but doesn’t attempt to push the man away. The familiarity of the position feels a little bit weird to him, but he understands there are thirteen years of his and Kakashi’s interactions that he has no memory of, and so he just stills in a hope that Kakashi can actually finally open up to him a little.

“You are shinobi, you won’t break.”

Naruto groans in a pretence exasperation, but doesn’t move. Kakashi doesn’t say anything else, breathing soundlessly, Naruto feels his ribs moving with slow inhales and watches the bush of spiky silver hair above his knees. He thinks of million questions he wants to ask the man, but he chooses one of what he thinks the most innocent ones, trying not to ruin the calm mood ― if Kakashi really hasn’t slept for two nights, the least Naruto can do is not to put even more strain on him.

“Ano, Kakashi, you don’t have a genin team.” It is more a statement, than a question, but Naruto waits for an answer before asking what he is really interested in.

“No, I don’t.”

“Why?”

He feels Kakashi sigh, before the man says, “Well, last time it didn’t really work out, did it?”

Naruto bites his tongue to stop himself from arguing. Later, he will do this later.

“And you rarely go on missions,” he says instead.

“Yes.”

“Why?”

Kakashi stirs and lifts his hands to fold them under the back of his head on Naruto’s knees.

“I’m old, I’m tired,” he says dramatically, and Naruto rolls his eyes and snorts.

“You are not o―” he catches himself and raises on his elbows. “Wait, how old exactly are you?”

“I told you already, I got here a couple of years before you were born, do the math.”

Naruto cringes, makes an effort, but he is too sleepy and too cozy, so he snorts again, and falls back on his pillow.

“Anyway your body is younger than that, and it is what? Thirty?”

“Twenty-seven, Naruto,” Kakashi answers with a sigh.

“See? Not old,” Naruto concludes and closes his eyes, satisfied.

Kakashi is silent for a moment and then says in a flat voice, that leaves Naruto guessing how much of it is a sarcasm and how much what Kakashi really believes in.

“Naruto, I was already old and tired when he put me out of my misery.”

Naruto opens his eyes and frowns. He has to bite his tongue again, because honestly, there will be no use in going further into it now, and he is sleepy, and he has a mission in the morning, and if Obito comes back to discover his husband delirious from exhaustion and too many soldier pills, _Naruto_ will be feeling guilty at the look at Obito’s eyes shimmering with tears. Seriously this man cries so easily, it’s ridiculous. And probably contagious ― a month back Obito brought a box with a cat and four newborn kittens to Naruto’s parents house, because Kakashi said his dogs won’t like it if his clothes would smell of a cat; Naruto and Obito then spent a rather indecent amount of time crying over how cute small kittens were and fretting over all the possible negative scenarios that could’ve happened if Obito didn’t find them.

Ridiculous, so annoying.

Naruto thinks sometimes, that Obito is his older Uchiha twin from another dimension.

Naruto rubs his face in frustration and shifts the conversation from this shaky ground back to his original question.

“But what is it that  you do?”

At that Kakashi actually turns around and looks at Naruto with half lidded eyes. Naruto feels stupid. He wants to punch someone. Preferably his former baka-sensei, who is being even more insufferable than usual.

“You’ve been here for a whole year and you still don’t know?”

Naruto sits up, folding his legs under him, and his arms on his chest. “I _will_ punch you.”

Kakashi chuckles and looks at him with unreadable expression. “I’m with T&I.”

“You wh― Why?” Naruto drops his arms and leans forward.

“I figured my knowledge as someone from the future would be more helpful there than as a genin sensei,” Kakashi answers simply.

“Is it?”

“Some, yes.”

“Oh. Makes sense.”

They are silent for another few minutes, Kakashi is looking blankly before him, and Naruto starts yawning and sliding down the bed before his head hits the pillow. His legs are still bent and he pushes at Kakashi’s thigh with one foot.

“Go to sleep, baka-sensei.”

“Not your sensei,” Kakashi mumbles impassively, and Naruto chuckles.

“Not going to argue with the baka part?”

Kakashi sends him what is probably supposed to be a murderous glare, but it lacks its edge on the too exhausted face.

“I mean it, Kakashi, go to sleep, or I’ll tell Obito that you were misbehaving in his absence,” Naruto says with a grin, that immediately slides from his face when Kakashi crawls up in the bed and drops himself beside Naruto.

“What are you doing?” Naruto whispers fiercely, looking down at Kakashi, who looks way too comfortable in Naruto’s bed.

“Going to sleep, as you told me,” Kakashi answers simply, closes his eyes and turns to his side. “We wouldn’t want to upset Obito, won’t we.”

“In my bed! You are going to sleep in my bed?!” Naruto says to the back of Kakashi’s head, fighting the urge to kick the man out.

“Your bed is as good for sleep as any other.”

“It is _my_ bed! It’s weird.”

“Wouldn’t be the first time.” Kakashi tugs the edge of the comforter from under him and covers his legs with it. “Sleep, Naruto.”

“What?!” Naruto’s voice breaks, and he coughs awkwardly. “What do you mean?”

Kakashi doesn’t answer right away, apparently too busy with rearranging the comforter around himself, and fixing a pillow under his head. He stills eventually, and when Naruto already doesn’t expect him to answer, starts talking quietly.

“I was helping your parents to raise you. Me and Obito both, actually. Not that they really needed any help, but your father…” he trails off and clears his throat. “My own father died long time ago, Naruto. And both first time around and this one I saw Minato as the one who could replace him for me. He and Kushina are a family. For me and for Obito who doesn’t even remember his own parents. You are a family too, Naruto. I was too selfish to realise it back then, but here…” Kakashi falls silent again, and Naruto tries not to even breath too loud ― Kakashi has never talked about something so personal with him. He wonders if it is an actual permanent progress in their relationship, or just Kakashi’s sleep deprived brain makes him forget to be guarded around Naruto.

“When you were little and stayed for a night here, you would occasionally see a bad dream and then come to our bedroom and crawl between us in the bed,” Kakashi speaks again, now even quieter than before. “Kushina said little kids feel safer like that. I heard Sasuke chose Itachi for that, though, not his parents.” _Of course he did._ “Anyway. Obito was delighted each time. He loves children, and especially you. I am still not sure if he sees you as his adopted brother or son, actually. I think he doesn’t know it either.” Kakashi sighs and mumbles under his breath, “I suppose I should really consider Rin’s offer…” He falls silent again, and Naruto is trying to arrange this new information and all the million questions it cause in his mind. He feels restless and suddenly excited, all sleepiness gone, and he smiles widely and pushes back sentimental tears that his eyes are trying to spill absolutely against his will ― _damn, you, Obito!_ There is a tiny spike of regret, that what Kakashi is talking about didn’t actually happen to _him_ , but Naruto is kind, and not greedy, and he is sincerely happy for this other Naruto who had the childhood, he himself couldn’t even dream about back then when he was growing up alone, hated by the village and not even knowing who his parents were.

He feels a little sad, but even more happy, and he almost misses that Kakashi is speaking again.

“...so if I see a nightmare I don't want to wake up alone."

Naruto swallows and tries to gather his thoughts, realising that he needs to answers something, but he takes too long, and Kakashi shifts a bit and adds, “I can go if it makes you uncomfortable. Obito should come back in the afternoon. Sure I can manage till then."

“No, no, it’s fine, stay,” Naruto answers hurriedly, and Kakashi stills. They are lying in silence, Kakashi’s breath deep and steady, and Naruto wonders if the man managed to fall asleep already, when he remembers something he told him, and it seems like a good opportunity to learn more, in case if in the morning Kakashi would grow distant again.

“Ano, Kakashi?” Naruto whispers as quiet as he can manage.

“Mm?”

"What did you mean by Rin's offer? It's not the first time I hear about this."

Kakashi doesn’t answer right away, and Naruto wonders if he pushed his luck a bit too much, but then Kakashi sighs and answers almost as quietly as Naruto’s question was.

"Obito wants kids. Rin offered to be a surrogate."

“Oh. Hm.” Naruto pushes back the initial surge of awkwardness this new revelation causes him ― he doesn’t know how to talk about such things. Family, kids; he has never had any experience like that, no family to grow in, no possibility to even think about getting his own ― that short thing he had with Sasuke during the war that he wouldn’t even plaster a label _romance_ , let alone _family_ on, didn’t provide him with any input of how normal people in normal circumstances deal with this. He is not even sure he fully understand what the word _surrogate_ means, except for the obviousness that Rin offered to be the mother of the child in question, so he will have to ask Kushina about it later. For now, for the sake of his sanity, he chooses to decide that there must be some less intimate and more clinical way to achieve it, because otherwise he is not sure he can handle even more oddity in the already rather odd dynamics within his extended family. He once heard Tenzou calling them all _Kakashi’s pack_ , and he somehow doubts it was Tenzou’s invention.

He doesn’t want to dig too deep in this.

But all in all he considers himself an adult, mind the thirteen-year-old body, and he doesn’t want to sabotage the relative easiness Kakashi is speaking with him now. He even hopes a bit, that the man wouldn’t talk about such things with a kid of his age, and perhaps it is Kakashi actually opening up to _him._ It is obvious that this is somewhat a delicate topic for the man, though Naruto wonders how _Sasuke_ of all people managed to learn about that, judging by his remark a few months back, but Naruto decides that this is not a good time to question that, so he asks instead, “And will Obito be a father?”

"We haven't decided yet. But Obito thinks a Hatake kid should actually be a Hatake rather than an Uchiha."

“And what do you think?”

“I think there are already enough Uchiha in this world.” It sounds bitter, and a bit too harsh, and Naruto suspects that the edge in this answer is for his ears only, and this is definitely not what Kakashi is probably saying to Obito when they talk about it. And the sad thing, that despite of being glad to discover that the Uchiha Massacre was avoided in this world, Naruto can somewhat understand the sentiment. After all, it really all started with Uchiha. And it was Uchiha, who were the cause of all the pain they both had to endure.

But at the same time it is Kakashi again closing in his past, that is hardly relevant here and now, and it is another statement that Naruto wants to argue with the man about, but he doesn’t want to tie such conversation with the thought of having a baby with the man he loves in Kakashi’s mind, so he bites down the possible remarks ― the third time already tonight, and he marvels at his own self control.

“So, you will be the father?”

“It’s not decided yet.”

Naruto is not sure what it is here to decide considering that both Kakashi and Obito seem to have the same opinion on that, but he doesn’t push and instead brings up the memories of Jiraiya’s explanations of bees and flowers, that didn’t actually have any bees or flowers in them, and were even more detailed than Jiraiya’s books, that Naruto was forced to proofread. Naruto knows he is not very smart, and he could only suspect how this surrogate thing works, but he is practical, and this should be practical, right? So he braces himself for possible humiliation, glad that Kakashi is lying with his back to him and can’t see his burning face right now ― it is so bizarre talking about such things with his former sensei ― and asks hesitantly,

“Can you― Is it possible to make it of both of you?”

“A child can only have one biological father, Naruto,” Kakashi answers, and then adds, the amusement audible in his voice, “Didn’t Jiraiya give you the talk?”

More blood rushes to Naruto’s face, he fidgets under the blanket and he can’t help but raise his voice, saying defensively, “That’s not what I meant! Dammit, Kakashi.”

“What _did_ you mean then?”

“I meant that just make _it_ of both of you, you know, just… dammit… I mean is there a difference? You can just… You know, mix it.” Naruto is positively dying by the end of his short tirade, and he already regrets trying to talk about it with Kakashi as equals. Being a kid is actually easier. Why didn’t he think that before pulling himself in this awkward conversation?..

Kakashi apparently doesn’t find this conversation awkward at all, because he turns so the side of his entirely unamused face is visible to Naruto, and deadpanns,

“Mix it.”

“Yeah, if you can’t decide who should be the father. Will be a surprise.”

“A surprise…”

“Are you going to just repeat everything I say?! It’s already embarrassing to talk about it, and you are just making it more difficult!”

Kakashi chuckles, covers his eyes with one arm and says with a sigh, “Should’ve guess that this would be the solution of the Most Unpredictable ninja.”

Naruto is not sure if this means he managed to say something smart and he should be proud or he just embarrassed himself for nothing, and he better shut up. He contemplates on it for another moment, but Kakashi doesn’t give him any more clues, so Naruto settles on just shoving the man in his shoulder, hard enough to make a point, but with a too low force to actually push him out of the bed, and lies on his back, staring at the dark ceiling, trying to ignore the light trembles of the mattress from Kakashi’s silent laughter.

At least the man seems to be enjoying this; Naruto is ready to temporarily sacrifice his dignity if this means Kakashi pulls his head out of his ass for once and acts like Naruto expects him to in this new life of theirs ― actually at ease and happy.

Kakashi stops laughing after a few moments and stills. Naruto wiggles a bit, getting more comfortable, and closes his eyes.

He's never actually said that, has he? He sort of just assumed, being too wrapped up in his own emotions about getting here, getting all this. It hurt him in some way he didn't really understand when he first saw that shadow in Kakashi's eyes. That wasn't really anything unusual, and nothing he hadn't seen before, but that was the thing ― it was there before, and it was so natural for Naruto to just assume that it shouldn't be present here, now. And he got so distracted by this that he got caught up in  probably the same trap Kakashi has been now. But hearing the man talking to him about the little Naruto of this world and about having a kid with Obito, it just all reminded him that aside from being grateful for what this life has brought to Naruto himself he has never actually thought how much this all could really mean for the other man.

"I'm so happy for you, Kakashi. I am happy for myself too, of course, I still can't believe... I..." He rubs at his face awkwardly, trying to find the words for all the feelings that has been accumulating in him this whole year. He is not really good at talks like that, but Kakashi knows him, right? He knows him even more actually, he said, he was like a family to him and Obito, and even if Naruto wasn't there through it, he can just accept it, and family is much easier to talk to than anyone else. It should be, right? He is not even sure, he's had only one year of his twenty-year-old life to have a taste of it, but what Kakashi told him today, it was family. And Naruto can too.

"I'm so happy for you. Seeing you with Obito... I was surprised at first, but I remember what you were telling me about him back then, and even considering... It feels kind of natural. And he is so different here. He is a great guy, I actually like him, and he so adores you, Kakashi. And Rin; you were right, she is so nice, how can a person be actually so nice, I was sure you were exaggerating... I... I don't know what's bothering you even still, and just so you know, I am not gonna leave it like that, Kakashi, so get your ass ready for some quality kicks! But I see that you are happy. You should've been more happy actually, you know, but you still look much happier than I've ever seen you, and for now I'm gonna be this extra happy for you until I kick your ass and you finally reach another level of happiness! Not because I kicked your ass! I mean... Ok, shit, I'm pretty sure you got what I mean."

Naruto is not sure if Kakashi is listening to him quietly, or has already fallen asleep and didn’t hear a single thing of it, but he takes a breath and adds, what he was probably meant to tell Kakashi long time ago, even though he had no power over this, he hasn’t really thought too deep, that the sadness he himself felt for not being able to live this life to the fullest and only coming into it a year ago, might be nothing compare to what Kakashi might have felt losing a part of newly acquired happiness to the shadow from his painful past.

“I’m sorry.”

“For what?” Kakashi answers instantly, and Naruto is not sure if he is glad or not that the man is still awake.

“That I don't remember all that. That I'm not the Naruto you helped to raise.” _That I probably bring back the memories, you are trying to forget._ “But even if I’m not him… No, because I am not him, I’m grateful for everything you’ve done, Kakashi."

The silence follows, and Naruto wipes a single tear from the corner of his eyes, and smiles to his thoughts. He is already drifting off back to sleep, when there is a movement on the other side of the bed, and he feels his blanket being carefully pulled higher to his chin and tucked to his sides.

He is almost asleep and in the morning he won’t be sure if he really heard or just imagined quiet soft words,

"Sleep well... Naru-chan."

* * *

 

**The end of Part I.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: _It scares Kakashi sometimes how much he loves Obito._ \-- finally a chapter from Kakashi's pov!
> 
> Starting next chapter this story won't have separate flashback chapters, and will focus more on "now". There will be SasuNaru fluff, KakaObi feels and even some ShiIta smut (which is already written). 
> 
> Follow my [tumblr](https://myfandomcauseshanaji.tumblr.com/) for some sneak-peeks and updates. 
> 
> Plus, those, who miss Kurama, take a look at [**this small side-fic**](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14763149) about Kurama from Kushina’s POV, written by my wonderful beta [Himeneka](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Himeneka).


	13. PART II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kakashi reflects on his endless love to his husband, and Naruto makes a new discovery.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mild sexual content in the first third, be careful, if it's not your thing.
> 
> 230 people are subscribed to this fic and this is absolutely mind-blowing for me!  
> I'm so happy there are so many of you who enjoys this silly story! Your kudos and comments keep me going =)
> 
> Also, let me use this opportunity to make some self-advertisement:  
> if by any chance some of you not only like watching anime but enjoy video games as well, I'll be happy to see on my [**Youtube**](https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCrci-WeCVz11-U5NLuBQWqQ?) and [**Twitch**](https://www.twitch.tv/kamuiril) channels ^_^

# PART II

_“Look at my eyes, Faye. One of them is a fake because I lost it in an accident. Since then, I've been seeing the past in one eye and the present in the other. So, I thought I could only see patches of reality, never the whole picture. I felt like I was watching a dream I could never wake up from. Before I knew it, the dream was over."_

_Spike Spiegel_

 

#                   Let a smile be your umbrella, and you'll end up with a face full of rain

It scares Kakashi sometimes how much he loves Obito.

The feeling is so strong that the thought of losing him makes it hard for Kakashi to breathe. He wonders if it is how Obito felt back then, when he saw Kakashi run his Chidori through Rin’s chest. He wonders if Obito loves him now with the same abandon as he loved Rin back in their first life, or with the same passion Kakashi loves him now. 

And Kakashi hopes that he doesn’t. Because it is too consuming and he doesn’t know what would become of him if one day he lost Obito again, and he doesn’t want Obito to feel the same way ― he doesn’t deserve to be broken again.

The thought of keeping his distance appeared once years ago, and perhaps it was a wise thought, but Kakashi just couldn’t be away from him, now that he could have him. 

He thinks sometimes that he loved Obito already back then in his first life, but of course, love as it was, it wasn’t anything like he experiences now.

He built his life around the ideas that Obito held dear. He lived his life once with the ghost of his friend ever present behind his shoulder. He has no chance now, when Obito is alive, to do anything but make him the center of his world again.

He never shows Obito how deep his affection runs, never tells him anything aside that he loves him, of course, never promises silly things like the ones written in romance novels, like to get him the moon from the sky. Such words are for lovesick teenagers and for those not weighted with doubts and regrets and too many memories, that make a chill run down his spine when he thinks of the bitter irony of these words being said to the man who once in a way almost got said moon himself.

Kakashi never tells Obito, that for him he is ready to do anything, but sometimes Kakashi thinks he knows.

Sometimes he even thinks that it is somewhat unfair to the others who are no less dear to him than Obito, those who he also was not able to save in his first life. 

His father, Obito, Rin, Minato-sensei. People he loved had been leaving him one by one. By some joke of fate that sent him in the past after his own life was taken from him — he almost felt relief in that brief moment after the blade entered his chest and before his conscious faded to black — he was too late in this time travel to attempt to save his father’s life. But there was not a single day when Kakashi was not grateful for being able to be there for Obito — just one hour, not even a day, or a year, just an  _ hour  _ later and he probably wouldn’t be able to wake up every morning to the familiar soothing scent of the man he loves more than his own life. 

These moments are the most precious, the quiet calm morning moments, before Obito wakes up completely, when Kakashi has the opportunity to just observe his sleeping, relaxed face, just be near him, breathing in his presence, confirming to himself, that nothing of what his memories keep showing him in his dreams and during the days sometimes is true anymore.

He loves softly brushing his fingers along the left side of Obito’s face, where he remembers the scars and rigged skin were. It amazes him every time to see and feel his face that undamaged, and it is not just aesthetics he is appreciating but rather the absence of the experience that forced such injuries on the face of the Obito from Kakashi’s first life. 

He traces the thin brow ― black, not white ― and down the cheekbone, the sharp line of the jaw. Obito’s lips tug in a small sleepy smile, when Kakashi’s finger is running softly just a breath away from them. He is waking up, but his eyes are still closed, and he purses his lips to place a kiss on Kakashi’s fingers, and Kakashi feels his heart clench in his chest with all the warm and just slight bit of painful feelings he is experiencing.

It is a worship, he knows that, and he would’ve probably denied that he could worship someone like that if he was told this before this all happened. But here and now it is much easier to admit that even before, even when he was sure that Obito was dead, his visits to the memorial, his excuses for always being late, word by word borrowed from his friend, were nothing but worship. 

And it hardly could’ve been any different now when he has Obito alive, warm, breathing, by his side. 

He loves them all, Rin, Minato, Kushina, Naruto — no matter which one, though he suspects he gave his former student an impression that he is less appreciated than his past self who Kakashi this time was able to help raise, but for Kakashi it still is the same boy — but Obito is just special, and Kakashi just can’t help himself, but fall in love with him more and more every coming day. 

He leans in closer and kisses the bridge of Obito’s nose, a closed eyelid, cheek, a corner of his mouth. Obito opens one eye then, waking up, hazed with the remains of sleep, and his lips stretch in a warm smile when his vision focuses on Kakashi's face. He makes a move to lean in a kiss, but a crease appears between his thin eyebrows when he remembers about morning breath, and he stops midway, exhaling frustratingly through his nose, and mouths at Kakashi's neck instead. And Kakashi laughs breathlessly, happily in his short black hair, brushing Obito's wide back with his fingers, while Obito brings his own hand to the front of Kakashi’s boxers, checking for morning wood and humming in satisfaction, when Kakashi gasps at the press of his palm.

Obito is barely awake, but his lips and tongue are tracing patterns on Kakashi’s neck, and his hand is tugging Kakashi’s boxers down, and he is rolling on top of him at the same instant, and Kakashi is not sure when Obito managed to get rid of his own underwear, when warm fingers envelop carefully around their cocks, pressing them together, and they both quietly moan deep in their throats.

Obito is warm and solid on top of him, lips sucking bruises under Kakashi’s jaw, not bothering to be more careful with the marks this may leave ― no one will see under the mask anyway ― and his hand is moving on them with a steady rhythm. 

Kakashi closes his eyes and relaxes in the touch, listening to their shuddering breaths and letting Obito take care of him, reciprocating Kakashi’s caresses from the last night. It is an unspoken agreement between them, started by Kakashi back then when they just got together, and Kakashi, while being the one with the previous experience in sex, that he couldn’t actually let Obito know of, just silently let his partner satisfy his natural curiosity, whichever way he wanted. And it didn’t really come as a surprise, that the man who was so full of energy and was so eager to learn and to give in his everyday life, was similar in bed.

Kakashi loves how versatile Obito can be, how some nights he can dominate Kakashi until he is begging, and others he’d fall apart beneath Kakashi’s hands. He loves these both sides of him, and the way he always melts by his side, smiling dreamly after he orgasms, boneless and so happy, warm, alive and so his, and Kakashi can barely breathe, so intoxicated by just the feeling of having this and being able to give Obito this, and listening to his heartbeat and inhaling his scent, that he just can’t get enough.

Obito falls asleep instantly sometimes, and other times it takes Kakashi half an hour to coax him to either go shower or just sleep, because Obito just lies where he dropped after they both came and watches Kakashi with an utterly besotted expression in half lidded eyes. And talks. With a quiet voice, almost whisper, words, a bit hoarse in the afterglow, slowly trailing from his lips, so uncharacteristic of this man — too quiet and too soft, and too serious at times, and it’s not that he is not capable of being soft, quite the opposite, but when his mind is not hazed in the afterglow of a recent orgasm, he is less blatant and somehow even a bit ashamed of showing his romantic side. He is affectionate and tactile and all over Kakashi more often than not, but during the day his love is wide smiles and light in his eyes. It is him startling Kakashi by a sudden brief, but tight hug and a peck on his temple, it is him just randomly blurting out Kakashi’s name with a short loud laugh and warm marvel in his eyes ―  _ Kashi!  _

It is different when he is lying in the crumbled damp sheets, naked and beautiful, and watches Kakashi with an expression in his eyes that Kakashi thinks might be a reflection of his own ― like he can’t believe how happy he is. He actually glows in his afterglow. And he speaks. About Kakashi’s ridiculous hair and that mole on his chin that he loves so much. About Kakashi’s body and Kakashi’s soul. He brushes his fingertips lazily on Kakashi’s skin and then takes a hold on his hand and squeezes his fingers lightly. He says  _ I love you, Kashi _ , and then repeats it again with his lips moving against the shell of Kakashi’s ear. It sends a shiver down Kakashi’s spine, not the sensation of the warm breath on his skin, but the words. The years have passed, but the memories of the different Obito and different words he was saying are still too fresh in his mind, and Kakashi can’t help but savour every single word of love Obito tells him, no matter how many times he has already heard them. 

Kakashi turns on his side and lets his hand reach to the right side of Obito’s face, smooth uninjured skin under his palm, his face is relaxed and the only creases are in the corners of his eyes ― warm and loving, with no pain and hatred in them. Kakashi shuts his eyes, and breathes out Obito’s name, and he feels his husband shift and move closer, and there is the feeling of Obito’s forehead pressed to Kakashi’s, and warm breaths against his lips, and Obito stops talking and they just lie like that. 

Kakashi knows that Obito notices. Notices how Kakashi is almost always on guard, notices the shadows under his eyes after restless nights when Obito is out of the village for a mission. He knows of his nightmares, being woken up by Kakashi’s gasps in the middle of the night more than once. He knows of them, but he doesn’t know what they are about, and he never asks. And Kakashi appreciates it, as he appreciates Obito’s attempts to make Kakashi let go.  _ You are too tense _ , he says and drags Kakashi to the bedroom, or Kakashi’s pants to his knees as soon as he comes home in the evening, and Obito says Kakashi looks too grim for it to wait till they get to the bedroom. 

Obito also tried another, less intimate, physical activity as a way of stress relief when they were younger, but soon found out that Kakashi shuts within himself even more, when he is forced to fight Obito, even when it is just a simple training. Kakashi tried, he really tried to not let himself suddenly freeze in the middle of a move, that in his memory resembles too much the ones he was forced to do when he fought that other Obito. He did try not to let it show on his face, when Obito performed a series of all too familiar blows, that were hardly dangerous for Kakashi here, but looked too much like the ones he saw in a different situation. 

He wasn’t scared of course, hadn’t been even back then, when the circumstances were more life-threatening. No, it is not fear and he doesn’t know what this is, but he does know that he doesn’t want to fight Obito, seriously or not. And Kakashi is glad that Obito doesn’t force this on him anymore. 

They train with others, there is never any lack of shinobi in the village who need some warming up in between missions, though Kakashi mostly chooses Itachi, Minato or Tenzou as his opponents, as the three of them are the only ones with whom he could let himself use the whole variety of the jutsu his mind still remembers. He doesn’t have Sharingan here anymore, but the knowledge he gained with it is still with him, and as unpleasant as this might be at times, he is not sentimental enough to lie to himself, that he doesn’t need all the jutsus Obito’s Sharingan helped him learn, only for the sake of pretending that this new life has erased the first one. 

He knows it would do him more good if he could convince himself, that he did really die back then and was born anew in this world of second chances. He knows he would be able to appreciate it differently ― not more, but differently ― what he has here and now, without his past dropping its shadow on everything he does here, everything he sees and feels. He knows that. But it is hardly his own choice, and getting too used to the fact that he can’t get rid of the dreams he is having, he is not even sure anymore, whether he’d really choose to forget if he could. 

And afterall Kakashi believes that it is comparing this Obito to the one before, that makes him love Obito so much. He hates the idea. He thinks that Obito would hate him too if he knew. He swears on the memory of Obito’s name on the Memorial stone that he would never let his husband know.

He is not sure whether he’s protecting Obito or himself.

He doesn’t think of this too often, but when he does, he seeks Itachi, because Kakashi feels that the Uchiha understands somehow, with no questions asked and no answers given. They have this special bond, as two time-travellers who’ve seen too much, who suffered more than they lived, who know the price of the Sharingan, and who have loved ones they must protect from such knowledge.

They don’t go to Training Grounds, but leave the village and find a secluded part of the forest, where they are both sure no one will see them. They fight, and aside from never using his Mangekyō, which Kakashi knows Itachi still has somehow, neither of them are holding back. 

Itachi’s power is phenomenal, and Kakashi can barely keep up, and he thinks that Itachi could easily be the strongest shinobi Konoha has, and it pains him that such power and such loyalty to their village was misused in such an undignified way before. 

They finish only when Kakashi can’t stand up anymore, and despite the pain in his beaten up body, he feels that it is a bit easier to smile, and the relaxed expression on Itachi’s face tells him that he is not the only one who is using their sparrings to let himself stop pretending just for these short moments.

Naruto knows about these fights, not that anyone told him, but the former jinchuuriki is much more observant, better skilled in being stealthy, and somehow is filled with even more curiosity than the boy Kakashi had known for the last twelve years. It is not much of a surprise ― Naruto managed to survive two more years after Kakashi’s death, and as far as Kakashi remembers, and unfortunately he remembers it all much better than he’d want to, the situation back then was already dire. 

Naruto offers to train with him as well, once, twice. He never mentions it again, after Kakashi declines for the third time. 

He pouts, Kakashi sees that. And probably works on some strategy to make his way back into Kakashi’s heart, judging by his thoughtful expression every time they see each other, hardly even realising that it is not needed ― Kakashi is not angry or upset with him, and it comes as a surprise when Minato tells him, that Naruto thinks Kakashi hates him for coming out of nowhere replacing the boy Kakashi loved as his own family and bringing with himself all the memories of a past that is so dark, that anyone would want to forget it. 

He is wrong, because he didn’t bring any more memories than Kakashi already has and can’t rid himself of. 

He is wrong, because it is not  _ another _ Naruto Kakashi helped to raise this time, becoming his friend and his older brother. He is wrong, because no one better than Kakashi knows, that it is not an alternative reality they are in, but his own past, the real one, and the people here are the same ones as in his first life, and if he finally managed to atone for one of the mistakes he once did and be there for Naruto when he was growing up, even if the boy didn’t really need him this time, this didn’t create some other Naruto. 

There is just one Naruto for Kakashi, the son of his sensei, the former jinchuuriki, his student, his friend, his younger brother, his family. 

So Naruto is wrong, and Kakashi is distant with him not because of any reasons the boy can imagine. But because Kakashi is afraid, that he might be the only person stubborn enough that it will even compensate for his natural lack of such perception, that for example Kakashi himself and Shisui too possess, when sometimes just one look at a person is enough to see through them, and if Naruto looks just long and often enough, he might know how to corner him with something more than the simple trick of  _ I know what you’re hiding  _ that Tenzou managed to pull on him once, much to Kakashi’s embarrassment.

Kakashi has never thought of Naruto as too perceptive, but somehow he knows that his masks and fake smiles do nothing to fool the third time-traveller, and it is just a matter of time before Naruto decides that he’s had enough and would try to give Kakashi a soulsaving spiel. Kakashi dreads the moment, but he doesn’t think he can prevent it ― it is Naruto after all, and Naruto always makes it his business when he finds that someone is not happy enough. 

So Kakashi thinks of excuses and downright lies to give Naruto as answers to his “why”, and hopes that perhaps the boy would be too preoccupied staring at his Uchiha friend and forget about Kakashi for long enough. 

He distracts him with Obito ― the two get along brilliantly, and Kakashi’s husband seems not to notice small inconsistencies in Naruto’s behavior ― and even catches himself thinking that the way this new old Naruto so wholeheartedly accepts Obito is worth even more than the childish love to his self-proclaimed niisan the little Naruto had. It is easy to love this Obito, Kakashi doesn’t know a person in Konoha who wouldn’t be able to find a few warm words about the former Uchiha. But it shouldn’t be that easy to love this Obito, knowing the Obito from  _ before _ , knowing the man he was, the things he did. But Naruto does, without blinking an eye, and it is heartwarming, and Kakashi is silently grateful. 

He doesn’t ― and can't really ― distract Naruto with another time-traveler ― Naruto seems to find an interest in befriending Itachi all by himself. It is a good distraction, Kakashi thinks, he would bet Itachi could be the only person capable of being entirely unaffected by Naruto’s charm and allconsuming energy, and Naruto never takes  _ no _ for an answer, and this means this could go for a long, long time.

Itachi gives the impression that he doesn’t care about anything aside from his otouto. On bad days, he even manages to demonstrate his love to Sasuke with the same  _ I don’t care _ vibe. Kakashi knows it is as far from the truth as the real Itachi is far from being fully present in the real world, seemingly spending his whole life inside his mind. How he manages to be so observant at the same time, is the question Kakashi hasn’t found an answer for. Must be his crows…

He knows, that for Naruto Itachi is the mystery he knows he would never crack, and that’s why he tries even harder. His efforts are entertaining to watch, and the look of deep frustration on Naruto’s face, when he can’t see through Itachi’s impassive expression, is a show of its own. Kakashi’s had nearly eight years here to learn how to read Itachi. He is not even close to how Shisui seems to able to know what Itachi is thinking at any given time, but he knows what slightly tightened corners of Itachi’s eyes mean ― the Uchiha finds Naruto amusing. Kakashi keeps the observation to himself to tell Naruto when he decides to bug Kakashi about his sour mood again. Should serve as distraction enough.

It amuses Kakashi that it takes Naruto nearly a year to notice an aspect of Itachi’s life that Kakashi himself and nearly everyone who knows Itachi has been wondering about. 

But it is hardly surprising when one day Naruto finds him, and it is not his parents, or Sasuke, or Kakashi himself he starts talking about.

Naruto makes himself comfortable on the smooth rock that forms Yondaime’s hair on the Hokage Mountain, scratches his neck and asks,

“And how long has Shisui-kun been at it?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, any ideas what might be really happening with Kakashi and why? ;)


	14. .

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Naruto decides that he won't rest, until he sees Itachi and Shisui walking into the sunset holding hands, and he needs Kakashi's help for organizing that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Such a fast update, would you look at that!  
> 

# Let's not have a double standard. One standard will do just fine _._

Naruto noticed the permy Uchiha basically at the same moment he noticed all other Uchiha in Konoha, that happened at his first day here, because there were  _ a lot _ of them and they were  _ everywhere _ . 

Having his share of dealing with some crazy Uchiha specimen in the past ― not his fault that the only ones left alive back then were missing some screws in their brains ― he first was looking at them with a fair share of suspicion, that was almost a reflex for him at this point, but soon realised that not all of them ― actually none of them, as it seemed ― wanted to see the world burn. 

That was a pleasant discovery, along with finding out that Uchiha can actually  _ smile _ , and can be  _ nice,  _ and even  _ fun _ , and Naruto decided that he must make as many friends among them as he could manage, starting with Obito (who, much to Naruto delight, was so different from the one he remembered, yet having the same core, just not a damaged one, and also turned out to be basically Naruto’s soulmate when it came to taking from life everything he could, aiming for the top and generally being a kind and optimistic person, and Naruto just wished he had a friend like that before) and finishing with Itachi, because this one looked like it would require some work from Naruto’s side to break through that impassive mask.

After a year, when Naruto is about halfway through befriending the whole Uchiha clan ― some of them were easy, because, apparently, Naruto already had some good reputation in the village, so he didn’t have to even try too hard ― and discovering much to his delight that behind the cool demeanor of some of them there were hiding sensitive and kind personalities, he finally realises ― not that he hasn’t seen that before, but he has just been busy! ― that one particular Uchiha with an ever present smile, which, depending on whether he is looking at Itachi or at pretty much anyone else, looks either warm or chilling, somehow has managed to avoid his radar. 

Naruto decides to fix this and begins to watch him more closely, which turns out to be quite simple since most of the times, where Itachi goes, he follows. And usually with a gleam in his eyes as if he wants to eat Itachi. Perhaps he does. Really, Naruto is the last person to deny how handsome some Uchiha can be.

This gives Naruto an idea and hope, that he can still be useful here, despite Kakashi along with his father and Itachi seemingly having managed to fix pretty much all major points of this past where it broke last time making it all go to shit, and Naruto just missed all the fun.

He can’t just ask Itachi straight away, and Sasuke will get too suspicious, he doubts his parents are aware, so Kakashi is a natural choice ― Naruto hopes the man will be more willing to share information that isn’t directly connected to him.

Obito is out of the village again, Kakashi is neither at home, nor in the woods getting his ass kicked by Itachi, which they both call training, but when Naruto first saw it it looked more like kicking a puppy ― despite Kakashi being able to use many powerful jutsu, and even without Sharingan undoubtedly being one of the strongest shinobi in Konoha, the lack of said Sharingan plays a crucial role when it comes to fighting Itachi. Even without his Susanoo, he manages to quite literally rip apart the place they chose for training ― not without Kakashi’s help, mind you. He doesn’t use Mangekyō, which Naruto knows he has, and Naruto wonders if with it he is as strong as Madara. And Sasuke once managed to kill him. And Naruto survived the fight with Sasuke only thanks to Kurama. Naruto shivers at the thought, and thanks all that’s holy and Kakashi along with it that he doesn’t have to deal with this anymore. 

He remembers the “are you an idiot” look Kakashi once gave him glancing meaningfully in the direction of Uchiha district ― not all Uchiha lived there though, some spread in other parts of the village ― when Naruto asked him if they had a plan for a potential Orochimaru attack. Sure, Orochimaru is not an idiot. If Itachi alone can be such a force, Naruto doesn’t want to imagine the level of destruction all Uchiha can bring if they combine forces. Thankfully, they are on Konoha’s side. 

Naruto makes a mental note to hurry up with befriending the other half of the clan. Just in case.

Naruto gives up after two hours of fruitless search and activates his Sennin mode. He finds Kakashi sprawled on the top of Yondaime’s head on Hokage Mountain, nose deep in a small orange book, and Naruto suppresses the urge to roll his eyes.

“That’s the first time I see you read your porn here,” he says, making himself comfortable beside Kakashi. 

“Obito doesn’t approve,” Kakashi answers simply, without looking away from the book, and this time Naruto does roll his eyes.

“Don’t remember anyone’s approval or disapproval to bother you before.”

Kakashi tilts his brow and glances shortly at Naruto with an unreadable expression in his eyes, before turning back to the book.

“He thinks that’s my way of hiding from reality.”

“Is it?” Naruto asks, watching the visible part of Kakashi’s face, but it doesn’t betray whatever the man is thinking right now, and the sound of a page being turned is Naruto’s only answer. 

Naruto huffs in frustration and lies down on his folded hands under his head. 

“Whatever,” he mutters. He didn’t come here for this. There will be another time. “So, I meant to ask. Who’s that permy haired Uchiha?”

“The one who is all over Itachi?” Kakashi asks, turning another page.

“So you’ve noticed too!” Naruto jerks himself up in the sitting position. “Wait, are there any other Uchiha with such hair?”

“Not that I know of. That’s Shisui.”

“Oh,  _ that  _ is Shisui!” Naruto rubs the back of his neck, staring absentmindedly at the village below them. “Now it makes sense.” 

This makes Kakashi finally look up from his porn, and he tilts his brow in question. “What do you mean?”

“Itachi got his Mangekyō when Shisui died, right? In our previous life, I mean.”

“I think so, yes.” 

“So, they are dating or what?”

Kakashi chuckles, returning his attention to the book. “Maa, Naruto, I don’t think Itachi-kun knows the meaning of the word.”

Naruto hums and turns to face Kakashi, folding his legs under him. “But Shisui is all over him.”

“That he is.” Kakashi seems to be bored with the conversation, and Naruto fights the urge to rip the book from his hand. He might even succeed actually, but it will definitely take time, which he now wants to spend on something more productive.

“Why then?” he asks as patiently, as he can manage.

“Probably for the same reason the most frequent word out of your mouth was  _ Sasuke.” _

“Because he is his best friend?” Naruto asks hesitantly.

Kakashi finally tears his gaze from the book and looks up at Naruto with an expression in his eyes that is doubting Naruto’s intelligence way too actively.

“No, because he wants to shove his tongue down Itachi’s throat, Naruto,” he says with a tone, that suggests that it should’ve been obvious for anyone who has more than one convolution in their brain, and that Naruto probably doesn’t. Naruto is not sure whether to feel insulted, or disgusted by the image that now stands in front of his eyes, and he chooses the latter, since feeling stupid is nothing he wasn’t used to.

“Kakashi! Eeww!” 

“You are not a kid, I’m sure you can handle the imagery,” Kakashi mumbles under his breath, looking back in his book. 

“But you said they are not dating.” Naruto sure is not a kid, but it doesn’t mean he wants to think about Itachi and Shisui fighting tongues, and now he can’t get rid of this intrusive thought.

“They are not.”

Naruto shakes his head and even rubs his eyes, but it doesn’t help, so he tries to redirect his brain by thinking of himself shoving his tongue down Sasuke’s throat. It brings up a fair share of rather pleasant, but very distracting memories, and he has to shake his head again. “Why?!” he nearly groans, directing the question both to the question at hand, his too wild imagination, and the cruel fate that endowed him with raging teenage hormones, and a clingy underage friend who probably wouldn’t want to know that his best friend is having erotic dreams about him every time he is not having a nightmare. Which is often.

“Takes two to start dating apparently,” Kakashi answers flatly, not paying much attention to Naruto’s struggles, that Naruto is sure are written on his face. 

“Doesn’t Itachi like him? He  _ did _ get his Mangekyō when Shisui died, so he must care about him.”

Kakashi shrugs and turns another page. “Feel free to ask Itachi that.”

Naruto can’t help but laugh at the suggestion ― sure, as if Itachi would answer him just like that.

Kakashi looks like he has entirely lost all his interest in the conversation, if he actually had any to begin with. Not that Naruto cares. He leans forward, putting his chin on his hands, elbows on the ground before him.

“And how long has Shisui-kun been at it?”

Kakashi glances at him and studies his face with an unreadable expression in his eyes for a couple of moments.

“Several years maybe.”

“We need to do something about it.”

“ _ We _ don’t need to do anything.”  Kakashi closes his book, puts it back in his pouch and stands up, stretching. “You can do whatever you want, Naruto. But I advise you to ask Sasuke about it first.”

Naruto rises up and jumps after Kakashi to the railing that goes above Yondaime’s head. “What Sasuke has to do with it?”

“As far as I know, if he could strangle Shisui in his sleep and hide the body, he would.”

“What? Why?”

Kakashi chuckles and looks back at him above his shoulder. “Sasuke tends to be possessive. Haven’t you noticed yet?”

“I thought he just didn’t like him,” Naruto shrugs, following Kakashi down the mountain.

“Sasuke doesn’t like anyone except you and Itachi. Shisui he hates.”

Naruto rubs the back of his head, and jumps down the remaining space, landing softly on the ground. “He likes Rin…”

Kakashi stops a few steps before him and turns to look at him with both his brows raised in amusement.

“ _ Everyone _ likes Rin, Naruto. And I can’t believe it took you one year to even notice Shisui.”

“I was busy! And maybe if you were more talkative you wouldn’t have to look at me like I’m an idiot half of the time, Kakashi!” Naruto can’t help but grumble at Kakashi being so deliberately uncooperative. “You are not telling me anything, how am I supposed to know what has happened here?”

“Ask your parents. Or Itachi.”

“You are not telling them anything either! And Itachi just doesn’t know much.”

Kakashi sighs heavily and puts his hands in the pockets.

”What do you want from me, Naruto?”

Naruto bites down the obvious response to this question, that has been steaming in his system for the last twelve months. He thinks choosing Itachi as his first victim is actually the right decision, and if he manages to make Itachi pull out that stick from his ass, perhaps Kakashi would come along more willingly.

“Help me talk Itachi into giving Shisui a chance and I won’t bother you with stupid questions for another month.”

Kakashi’s eyes widen in surprise and then he obviously smiles under his mask.

“One month is not even nearly enough for what you are asking, Naru-chan. You clearly are not aware of the level of Itachi’s density when it comes to things like that. One year.”

Naruto almost jumps in indignation, and points an accusing finger at his former sensei’s smug face.

“What! You’re kidding, Kakashi, no way I’ll let you be for another year like that!”

“It is already been one year, I’m sure you can manage one more without shoving your nose in my personal life,” Kakashi drawls lazily, and it pisses Naruto off, and he is sure Kakashi is doing this on purpose, and that pisses him off even more.

“No way!” he almost screams and his voice breaks at the last sound and he has to cough to hide his embarrassment ― gods, he hates being a teenager again. Kakashi is shaking in a silent laughter and Naruto just hates the man right now. “Two months!”

“Twelve.”

“Three!”

“Twelve, Naruto.”

“Four!”

“Deal.”

“F― What?” Ready to argue to his dying breath, Naruto doesn’t expect Kakashi to give up on such a small number, and looks at the man’s hand outstretched before him and patiently waiting, with confusion and slowly dawning realisation that he has been played. 

He grits his teeth, grabbing Kakashi’s hand, trying to ignore the satisfied and clearly mocking squinting of Kakashi’s eyes. They shake hands, and Kakashi ruffles his hair before turning around, and Naruto has to push down the inane urge to bite. 

Kakashi is whistling some song, slowly walking away, and Naruto is already going through several scenarios in his head of how he is going to get his revenge in four months. But at least he has gotten an ally in the uneasy task of dragging Itachi out of his shell.

But first, he has one more friend to make.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next three chapters: SasuNaru ( _finally_ some SasuNaru, right?! don't expect them fighting tongues tho, Naruto respects Sasuke's teenage innocence xD), because I'm apparently writing this fic in the similar style as the anime had, which means fillers and side-stories.


	15. The bunshin ARC. #1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ...where Naruto is being a lazy idiot and causes a huge mess that _doesn't_ make Minato proud.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter and the next two are mild SasuNaru. Will try to upload them without a huge delay.
> 
>  
> 
> Also, I posted a new _Naruto_ fic, that consists of purely short dialogues, not connected to each other, that might have taken place in _Naruto_ if Kishimoto didn't want all the character to suffer so much. Please, [check it out](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15162056/chapters/35161139) ^_^

# Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time

Naruto is slowly dragging his feet toward Konoha, pretending that he doesn’t notice a pair of scrutinising looks drilling a hole in the back of his head, and nursing a giant bruise under his eye, that neither Sakura nor Rin agreed to heal ― one with a promise to give him a matching one if he keeps insisting, and another with a gentle apologetic smile and a rather judging look in her eyes, that made Naruto feel even more guilty. Sasuke’s back is radiating a promise of imminent death from several meters ahead of him, and Naruto doesn’t dare to speed up to catch up with his friend, and with a bowed head watches the road under his feet, thinking back to how he managed to get himself into such a ridiculous situation.

Sending a Shadow Clone on the mission instead of going himself turned out to be not such a brilliant idea as it seemed to him when Team 7 was given a C-rank mission two days ago. But he couldn’t bear even the thought of spending his time on these boring missions anymore ― he’d had his share of them the first time around. Besides he’s finally made ch ū nin, that made him way happier than it probably should've, considering that he was well aware that he was way beyond not only ch ū nin, but a jounin level as well. Yet, it was a little formality that he didn’t have the pleasure to have in his previous life, and the feeling of finally achieving something that had been eight years in making was incredibly satisfying.

So when Rin showed them the paper with the mission’s objectives and a big C on the top, he didn’t even bother going to his father to argue, but excused himself to the bathroom, where he created one Shadow Clone and sent him to take his place on the team, while, following the sudden urge to nap, peacefully fell asleep in the corner drooling on the white tiles. He’d barely had any sleep during the three years of the Fourth Shinobi War, so he sincerely thought that he had all rights to sleep as much as he wanted and wherever he wanted ― this afterl-..  _ past  _ he so conveniently appeared in was too calm and comfortable not to take such an opportunity. 

And that, by no means, had nothing to do with the fact, that he might or might not have spent a good part of the previous night watching Sasuke sleep. He was just  _ admiring _ , nothing creepy.

He woke a couple of hours later, a bit sore from the uncomfortable position he was napping in, but refreshed, and weighed his options: he couldn’t go home or to his second home at Hatake compound, since neither his parents nor both of his self-proclaimed brothers ― Naruto rolled his eyes at the thought, but all along a warm smile tilted the corners of his mouth ― would hardly be too happy to discover his little deception, so that left Itachi, who Naruto was sure wouldn’t ask anything of him staying in the village while his teammates were out there breaking sweat for some boring C-rank mission. That was what he liked the most about Sasuke’s brother ― Itachi always made sure to make it obvious, that anything that wasn’t directly threatening him, Sasuke, or Konoha’s wellbeing in general, was none of his business. Naruto concluded that his slacking in this particular case was none of those things, so he got out of the bathroom and, using roofs so as not to be too easily discovered, headed to Shisui’s home in the Uchiha district, where he knew Itachi would most definitely spend the nights of Sasuke’s absence.

It’s been almost a month since that discussion with Kakashi, and Naruto still hasn’t had that conversation with Itachi about Shisui, taking some time to get to know Shisui better, as well as using it to have a first seat in watching Shisui’s pining. And pining he is. It would be even sad to watch, if Shisui didn’t emanate such scary confidence and calm around him, spicing it all with an ever present almost mocking smile, that gives the impression that the Uchiha knows something that no one else does, and it has taken Naruto some time to get used to it without constantly being triggered by thinking that he is being laughed at. He remembers Tenzou complaining to him about having to spend years working with the three Konoha geniuses side by side and how exhausting it was for him. Naruto dismissed it then, thinking that knowing Kakashi for years might have given him a good impression of how it might feel like as well as making him immune to those “genius vibes”, as Tenzou called them. 

He realised how wrong he was the first time he invited himself in Itachi and Shisui’s company. The way they managed to communicate with almost no words said out loud was utterly unnerving. Sure the two are worth each other. Probably no one else can read Itachi’s impassive face as good as Shisui, as well as very few people can handle Shisui’s mocking and teasing, and then suddenly serious way he sometimes says some jokes with and you are just left hanging guessing whether the Uchiha was kidding or not. 

Naruto is positive a lot of people will thank him if he manages to make these two get together. 

So, Naruto hoped that Shisui wouldn’t mind his intrusion, and prepared an excuse beforehand, that he spilled in Shisui’s politely surprised face, when he opened the door to see Naruto at the other side of it.

“Hi, Shisui-kun, I just need to hide here till the next night, pretend that I’m not here, just give me a corner and I’ll sleep there all the time and I promise I won’t even notice you wooing Itachi-kun.”

Shisui laughed lightly, stepping away from the doorway to let Naruto in.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Naruto-kun,” he answered with a smile, watching Naruto with his piercing black eyes, and Naruto shivered a bit ― if he first considered Itachi to be rather intimidating with his impassive expression that hardly anything could crack, he quickly changed his mind when he met Shisui, who often smiled and laughed, and made an impression of generally kind and easy-going person, yet his eyes seem to live their own lives, observing carefully, and watching so closely, as if they could look into a person’s soul, and it probably took to be Itachi to be able to hold this heavy gaze on an everyday basis. 

Perhaps, it was because the way Shisui was looking at Itachi was entirely different. 

Naruto made his way to the room, simply saying, “I sent a bunshin” at Itachi’s questioning look, located a futon in the corner, and crashed on it, turning his back to the two men with, “Pretend that I’m not here.”

Shisui chuckled, and Itachi said quietly, “That’s my futon.”

The last thing Naruto heard before drifting off to sleep, was Shisui’s playful, “Well, we’ll have to share mine then, Itachi.”

He woke with a jerk in the middle of the night, when the memories of his dispelled clone rushed in his mind, and the first words out of his mouth after the frustrated groan were,

“Sasuke is going to kill me.”

That made two Uchiha raise their heads, one from another futon nearby, and another from the sofa in the middle of the room ― apparently Itachi didn’t find the idea of sharing a futon with Shisui as appealing as Shisui did.

“What happened?” Itachi asked, while Shisui was rubbing his eyes lazily.

“My clone died!” Naruto answered with surprise audible in his voice. “Sasuke is safe, Itachi, don’t look at me like that,” he added hurriedly, when Itachi sat on the futon looking at him pointedly with a pair of red eyes that didn’t promise him any good.

“Well, in that case we can go back to sleep,” Shisui said, yawning.

“No, no, Shisui-kun,” Naruto pleaded, jumping on his feet and rushing to Shisui’s side. “I need you to get me to my father, please, I need to be there, or Sasuke will kill me.”

“Sasuke won’t kill you for slacking, Naruto, you are overreacting,” Itachi said, and Shisui pointed at him in a silent agreement.

“No, Itachi, it’s not that, he doesn’t know that it’s bunshin! C’mon, Shisui-kun, it will take me at least ten minutes to get to my father, I need him to Hiraishin me to Sasuke’s location  _ now!” _

“How exactly did your clone die, Naruto?” Itachi asked from behind him, and Naruto turned around to discover that Itachi somehow walked to him without Naruto noticing and now was standing in a mere centimeters from him,  [ tomoes ](http://naruto.wikia.com/wiki/Tomoe) in his eyes slowly rotating.

Naruto swallowed, and shifted on his feet awkwardly. “That cave’s roof collapsed and he got buried under it... Accidentally,” he answered with an awkward chuckle, that was aimed to hide the embarrassment in his voice, but he wasn’t sure it succeeded. He suddenly felt like he really was thirteen instead of his real twenty, and he fought the urge to look down at his feet. 

“Cave’s roof?” he heard Shisui’s amused question behind him, at the same time that Itachi asked coldly,

“And Sasuke saw this?”

“Yes,” Naruto answered quietly. “He probably didn’t see that it was a clone…” he added, and swallowed back a wave of nausea this thought caused him. He really did fuck up.

Itachi blinked, and when he opened his eyes, the Sharingan was gone from them. “Shisui, take him to the Hokage, please,” he asked his friend from above of Naruto’s shoulder, and then looking back to Naruto, added, “He is at home now, I take it?”

Naruto stilled his body and closed his eyes for a moment, forcefully clearing his thoughts in a way that became so familiar during the War. He hasn’t been using his Sage mode ever since he got here, and he wasn’t sure if he still was as efficient with it as before, but in a second his mind was filled with numerous chakra signatures and quickly locating his father, he opened his eyes, and shifted back to his normal state.

“He is in the Tower.”

“Being a Hokage is such a tough job,” Shisui mumbled, looking at him with curiosity, and Naruto realised a bit too late, that he just demonstrated a technique he shouldn't have known in the first place. He waited for Shisui to question that, but the Uchiha just threw a thoughtful look at Itachi, stood up, and grabbed Naruto’s wrist. “You’ll owe me for that,” he said, and it was not very clear whether it was aimed at Naruto or Itachi.

“Sure, thank you, Shisui-kun.”

“Hold tight,” Shisui said once they were out of the house, and Naruto wrapped his arms around his waist, locking his hands a moment before the world spinned.

Shisui dropped ― actually dropped ― Naruto somewhere in the middle of what must have been a Very Fast Jump from a rooftop of the nearest to the Hokage Tower building, but what for Naruto felt like he was sucked inside a hurricane and then violently thrown out of it  _ somewhere _ before he could as much as take his next inhale, and he had about half of a second to orient himself and land on the windowsill of Hokage’s office ― awfully gracelessly but at least without crashing  _ through  _ the window. 

Despite the closed window, his sudden appearance didn’t go unnoticed, and before Naruto could catch a breath, the window opened, and an ANBU in a familiar mask was tugging Naruto inside the office by the collar of his shirt.

“Your son, Hokage-sama,” Tenzou’s unimpressed voice could probably fool anyone, but not Naruto, who swallowed nervously.

It was totally unfair, that despite being a twenty-year-old time-traveler who, even without Kurama was one of the strongest shinobi in the village ― he still had some suspicions that Itachi was seriously holding back when they sparred, and not like he saw the man at his finest in their first life either ― there were still too many people who were aware of that and yet were always ready to kick his ass for some mischief. Not that he actually did a lot of mischief these days, mind you. But when Tenzou put him in front of Hokage’s desk and stepped back to the corner of the room, Naruto could almost feel his gaze on the back of his head ― that one, when Tenzou was doing this thing with his eyes that made Naruto feel like a child and an idiot all at once, as well as convincing him that it was totally his fault. 

Naruto shivered, trying to brush off the piercing gaze. It didn’t help and the gaze became even more piercing. He winced and turned his attention to his father, who walked to Naruto around his desk.

“Naruto, what are you doing here? What happened?”

“Hey, touchan, I happened to send a clone in my place on that mission, but it turns out he kind of “died” like ten minutes ago or so, because that cave collapsed, and others would think that it was me, ‘cause, you know,  _ the cave collapsed,  _ and it probably was very loud and dusty and stuff, but I’m sure the others are fine, but I need you to Hiraishin me there like real quick, so I can explain them that I’m not dead, you know, and Rin has your kunai, right, so can you Hiraishin me there, ne, touchan?” Naruto spat all of this in one breath already too worked up about this whole situation, the heavy gaze on the back of his head not making it easier. 

Minato drew back as soon as Naruto finished talking and folded his arms on his chest. Naruto had known his father for just a bit more than a year, but despite this at moments like that Naruto reacted as if it was not just a year but his whole life — must be some memory of the body he was occupying now — and he stooped and suddenly felt even more guilty than before, and not even a time-traveler status protected him from feeling like a little kid. Some distant part of his conscious was actually delighted at this moment — your own father looking at you as if he was about to give you a lecture felt more appreciating when for the biggest part of your life you didn’t even have a father to begin with. 

“You sent a clone,” Minato said quietly, and it was not even a question. 

“Yeah. Please, touchan, I need to be there like right  _ now.” _

“And a cave collapsed on his head.” His father sounded almost amused and Naruto would be happy to give him a more detailed explanation and sit through the lecture, but he didn’t have time now. 

“Yes. C’mon, touchan, Sasuke is gonna kill me!” Naruto actually started fidgeting on his spot and shoved both of his hands in his hair, tugging at it nervously. 

“A cave, Naruto.  _ A cave _ killed your clone.”

“He is just dumb. Touuuchan, Hiraishin, c’mon.” He was almost whining at this point, but seriously. Sasuke. Is. Going. To. Kill. Him. 

“Naruto, you do realise your clones are literally you?” Minato asked with a slight tilt of his lips and Naruto thought he could hear a muffled chuckle behind him. 

“Wha― Touchan!”

“Alright, Naruto, but I expect explanations later.” Minato sighed and walked to Naruto, putting his hand on his shoulder.

“Sure. Thanks!” Finally!

Minato hesitated a moment, and then, looking down at Naruto with a serious expression in his eyes, added quietly, “Also, I’m sure I don’t need to remind you that telling Kakashi about this would be a terrible idea.”

“Ah? Why Kakashi?” Naruto realised exactly “why” the moment the question fell off of his tongue. “Ah, damn, right… Ah, shit.” The further in it the more it was getting worse. “Yeah, guess he won’t like it…”

Minato shook his head and answered dreary,

“No, he really won’t.”


	16. The bunshin ARC. #2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Naruto deals with the consequences of his slacking

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> title for this one (c) Kindred
> 
> Betaed by [cherryberry12](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cherryberry12/pseuds/cherryberry12). Thank you so much!

# The only true death is to never live

Naruto blinked the moment he took his father’s hand and when he opened his eyes, he was in the middle of the woods, Rin jumping away from them, startled by their sudden appearance.

“Sensei?..” Her eyes widened in surprise and Naruto thought he could see a faint sparkling of tears on her cheeks in the moonlight, and he felt sick for causing this. “N-naruto?..”

“Naruto will explain,” his father said softly, and Naruto knew this softness in his voice was not directed at him. He didn’t try to argue, and merely clutched his hands before him, when with, “Try not to kill him,” said in dry voice Minato slapped the back of his head and hiraishined away. It was more embarrassing than painful, and it served as a reminder he had probably needed, that while he was seven years older than he appeared and usually treated as an adult by those who knew this, to them he still was a son and a little brother. Even after growing up to finally be twenty again, or even older, to them he would always be someone they would protect and take responsibility for. It was a weight he’d never had before, but it was a weight he was happy to bear.

“It was a bunshin?” Rin asked in a small voice, before he could say anything, and he looked up at her, nodding.

“Yeah. Did Sasuke―”

He didn’t get to finish before Rin stormed to him, grabbed his wrist, and started tugging him towards the small mountain. She was deliberately not looking at him, and Naruto winced at the thought of all the kicking his ass was going to receive from his parents, Kakashi and Obito once he got back to the village. He already anticipated his glorious death at Kushina’s hands. Yeah, his mom was probably the most dangerous of them all. Not that he didn’t deserve it.

“Kakashi didn’t teach you this technique for that, Naruto,” Rin said, and there was more hurt than anger in her voice. Naruto groaned silently. No, Kakashi definitely  _ didn’t _ teach Naruto this techniques so he could replicate the situation that  _ almost _ killed Kakashi’s best friend the first time around and that, as Naruto highly suspected, was probably still haunting him in his nightmares.

It wasn’t long before they got to the small opening near the foot of the mountain, and he saw a huge pile of rocks where the entrance to the small cave had been and where his careless clone had been buried. Sakura jumped to her feet from where she had been sitting with her back to the big rock, when she heard them. Rin let go of his wrist and stepped away when Sakura started walking toward them, her face fast changing from grieving to furious. 

“It was a bunshin, Sakura-chan, I’m so―” The sharp slap of a palm connecting with his cheek interrupted his apologies, and though he certainly did feel awfully guilty, deep inside he was glad Sakura got her training from Rin and not from Tsunade and, while she was an excellent medic nin, she didn’t have the same deadly punches she had in Naruto’s first life. Otherwise he would probably be lying with a concussion dozens of meters from where he was standing now. 

Sakura started crying again as soon as she slapped him, angrily cursing him at the same time. He wasn’t listening, looking instead at Sasuke who was standing a bit farther, with dry red eyes and clenched fists at his sides. Sasuke has never been much of a crier after all, and Naruto hadn’t expected him to. Sharingan though… Sharingan was something Naruto worried he would see in his friend’s eyes the moment he had woken up after getting his clone’s memories. He just didn’t expect it to be so unsettling.

The look on his face ― anger, hurt ― for a moment reminded him the Sasuke he knew before, and a chilling thought  ―  _ I broke him ―  _ crossed his mind. He brushed it off immediately because he knew Sasuke was stronger than that and, despite everything, it would not be enough to bring up back the broken, bitter,  _ dangerous _ Sasuke he had known. But realising this was his fault felt like a bucket of freezing water had spilled over him. Just one year, and he was already too relaxed, was accepting everything as given as if thousands of deaths and Kakashi’s hard work here hadn’t gone into creating this opportunity for all of them to live in peace. 

He was careless and stupid. He knew, of course, that he couldn’t have predicted the death of his clone, but shouldn’t he try to spend as much time with his precious people as he could, shouldn’t he appreciate the carefree smile on the face of the boy he’d loved for as long as he could remember a little bit more?

Naruto licked his lips and opened his mouth to speak, but shut it again, not sure what could be said here. Sorry, I didn’t want you to think that I died? It sounded stupid even in his own head.

Sasuke held his gaze for another moment, then sucked in a breath and rubbed his face with his hand, as if trying to wipe away tears that weren’t even there. He started walking toward Naruto, without looking at him, and Naruto braced himself for the possible confrontation, but Sasuke just passed him without meeting his eyes, and kept walking.

Naruto turned on his heels, stepped after his friend, and reached out his hand to grab him by the shoulder, to stop him ― he couldn’t bear this silence treatment ― but his fingers barely brushed Sasuke’s shirt before the Uchiha turned around sharply and, without as much as a swing, punched him in the face.

Naruto dropped on the ground, hand flying to his eye, and realised that the long breath he let out was the one of relief. That was more familiar and he could deal with that. Besides, Sasuke bottling his negative emotions within himself was never a good thing.

Two pairs of feet walked past him, following Sasuke. No one bothered to ask whether he was ok, but he knew he fully deserved it. He sat up with a grunt, winced at the feeling of the bruise swelling under his eye, looked at the backs of his teammates and sensei walking away, sighed, jumped on his feet and followed suit. 

That’s how he found himself in this gloomy procession on the way back to Konoha, that feels more like an escort to his own execution. He doesn’t make any attempts to reach out to Sasuke again, unwilling to receive another punch from him or to fight him back. 

One huge, black and very obvious crow starts flying circles above them once they are just a couple more hours away from the village. Naruto thinks he feels it looking at him and he doesn’t like this look, and he definitely doesn’t want to know what Itachi has prepared for him after Naruto hurt his otouto. Apparently, overprotective older “brothers” is the price to pay for all the lives saved here. Not that he minds, of course. It doesn’t mean that he is looking forward to seeing Itachi anytime soon, though.

He also now owes Shisui as well. At least this one he’s got covered. The time for that conversation has come. If he survives Itachi’s rage, that is. Can the Uchiha even get angry, though? He is always so emotionless… Naruto’s mom, on the other hand, is not emotionless at all, and this might be something he will not be able to get out alive.

When they reach Konoha, he expects to see either his pissed off relatives or family friends, ready to kick his ass, but no one is waiting for him. The gates are empty, except for a couple of guards who don’t pay much attention to their arrival.

Sasuke heads to the Uchiha district right away. Sakura throws another accusing glance at Naruto, makes a move to follow Sasuke, but is stopped by Rin’s hand on her shoulder. Sakura pouts, but walks toward the opposite street that Naruto knows is the shortest way to her home. 

Naruto looks at Rin, who meets his gaze. She is smiling softly, but her eyes are sad and tired, and it only now when it dawns at him that it is not only Kakashi and Obito who this incident with the cave could bring unpleasant memories to. He heard the story, after all, about Kakashi being trapped in the collapsed cave instead of Obito, relying on a jutsu he brought with him from his first life to save him from being squished under the heavy rocks. They all survived, yes, but Naruto can imagine that those long moments until Rin and Obito actually saw that Kakashi was alive could not have been too pleasant to remember. 

He feels guilty all over again, more than he has been, and he wants to run back to Sasuke if only to be punched one more time, because really, Naruto sure could do this himself, but this would be too ridiculous even for him.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers, holding Rin’s gaze, and he wants to say so much more, but Rin doesn’t know how much worse it went the first time, and empty apologies are all he can offer. “I am so very sorry.”

Rin nods and her smile gets even warmer. “It’s not me you should really be saying this to,” she says and softly brushes his messy hair out of his face. Naruto suddenly feels himself on the verge of tears, overwhelmed by this simple gesture that is just another small example of how much in this life he should be appreciating. He doesn’t allow himself to imagine how being the one to kill Rin made Kakashi feel. He doesn’t  _ need  _ to imagine it, really ― he saw with his own eyes how Obito dealt with his grief. 

Naruto swallows and nods silently, making a mental note to give all these people as many hugs as he can manage without getting too annoying. Starting now. He steps closer to Rin and wraps his hands around her waist tightly, pressing his face into her shoulder. He can’t tell her everything he wants to, but maybe he can show her how much he appreciates her just being the way she is. 

She hums in surprise, and pets his hair gently, and it reminds Naruto of the way Kushina does it. He thinks that Rin would make a great mother some day and he realises that before becoming his sensei, she also was his friend and part of his family, and he just wishes he could remember that. And he is not crying, he is definitely not.

“Talk to him. I don’t want to see you both brooding, like those idiots back then.” 

“Huh?” Naruto raises his head and looks at Rin in question, but she just laughs lightly, the purple marks on her cheeks curving with her wide smile, and steps back from the embrace and shakes her head as if in amusement.

“Boys,” she says simply, like it should actually mean something, and, without adding anything, walks away.

Naruto sighs, rubs his eyes, and throws his head back to look up in the dark sky. The crow is still there, visible in the moonlight. It is making annoying circles above his head, and he groans internally, watching it.

“Alright, alright, I’m going,” he spits out in frustration, and as he heads toward the Uchiha district, he hears the flapping of wings closing in, and before he can turn to look the weight of the bird settles on his shoulder and sharp claws dig into the fabric of his shirt.

He doesn’t flinch only because he’s gotten used to it already by now. 

“Hey, buddy,” Naruto says, looking in the black unblinking eye. The crow doesn’t grace him with an answer, only digs its claws deeper. “Hey, easy, I said, I’m going, Itachi!” 

The crow looks away from him, but Naruto still has the feeling that it’s watching him, and he picks up the pace. 

The bird leaves him as soon as he reaches the Uchiha district, and Naruto sees a couple of others sitting on the roofs. He knows they are not there just for him, but act as Itachi’s eyes on everything that is happening in Konoha. Naruto wonders if the need to spread his focus between all his birds is the reason why Itachi is so emotionless. But he is not even sure whether Itachi actually watches through the crows’ eyes, or if he just lets them decide whether whatever is happening is worth his attention. In any case, Itachi clearly takes this opportunity to serve his village close to the heart. Naruto thinks they all have something to atone for now.

Neither Fugaku nor Itachi is home, and Mikoto opens the door to his knocks. 

“Oh, Naruto, honey, did something happen?” she asks, inviting him inside. 

Naruto remembers when he met Sasuke’s mom for the first time and how startled he was by the resemblance between the two. Of course it wasn’t unexpected, that Sasuke would look like one or both of his parents, but Naruto just didn’t think it would be to such an extent. He almost blurted out that he could see now where Sasuke got his pretty looks. Thankfully, he didn’t. But the mere impulse made him flush with barely avoided public humiliation.

“Um, yes― no, I mean… Is Sasuke home?” he asks, in the last moment biting down the  _ Yes, I royally fucked up. _

“Yes, he just returned. Did you two have a fight?” There is no accusation in her voice, just genuine concern, and she carefully brushes a finger across the bruise under Naruto’s eye. “Want me to heal this?”

He nods enthusiastically, and Mikoto smiles. She holds her palm above the bruise and the green light fills Naruto’s vision.

“How was the mission? Sasuke didn’t seem in the mood to talk.” Naruto scowls, and Mikoto laughs, finishing with the healing and removing her hand. “I see.”

Naruto thanks her, and she simply waves it off and walks away to the living room. “He is in his room.”

The way to Sasuke’s room is much shorter than Naruto would’ve preferred it now. He stops in front of the  door and takes a few deep breaths, trying to collect his thoughts. He has no idea what he is going to say. 

He probably takes too much time hesitating because the door opens and Sasuke throws one look at him, frowns, and steps back to let him in.

“How long were you going to stand there, baka?”

The question is asked in a sombre tone but doesn’t really have any bite in it, and Naruto walks into the room, relaxing a bit.

One way or another, they’ll figure it out. They always have.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chapter on this weekend, and after that the updates will slow down -- I am missing two full chapters before chapter 2.9


	17. The bunshin ARC. #3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The final chapter for this little story about Naruto's clone, hope you'll like it, let me know =)  
> Lots of hurt/comfort SasuNaru vibes this one.
> 
> Unbetaed.
> 
> Also, please give some love to my new Naruto fic [**"Words That Were Never Said"**](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15162056) ^_^

#  Bad decisions make good stories

They begin peacefully enough, Sasuke not too enthusiastic about forgiving Naruto right away, but at least listening and not trying to kill him. Which actually is a big progress compare to how arguments usually went for them in Naruto’s past life, and Naruto would see it as such, if only it wasn’t so unnerving ― he is not used to argue with Sasuke like that. He has no idea what else he can say, and somewhere in the middle of for the tenth time arguing about whether it is practical or lame to send clones on the missions that are supposed to be simple, it all rolls down the hill, when Naruto, barely even noticing this, shifts the conversation into a more aggressive mood, they both raise voices, and Naruto has to make effort to remember that, for a change, he is the one at fault here.

“What else do you want me to say?! I apologised already, didn’t I? It’s all fine now!” Naruto waves his hands in the air and paces back and forth to pour off some of that extra energy in his body.

“Nothing is fine!”

“And you even have Sharingan now! You always want―”

“Shut up!” Sasuke screams, interrupting him. 

The habit to fight him, to argue, to object is too deep in Naruto’s bones. It is almost an instinct, a reflex, his second nature. He can count on his fingers the times when he had a civil conversation with that other Sasuke, the one, who chose to hate him ― they even fucked as if they were fighting; always hurting each other, bodies or souls. And Naruto would be happy for it to be different, but he has always been short fused, and Sasuke was so full of unresolved tension, fury and pain, and knew Naruto’s buttons too well… 

But Naruto has gotten used to  _ this _ Sasuke. As edgy as his other version, he hasn’t actually ever directed his anger on Naruto before, and despite knowing, that there is no one else but Naruto to blame in this situation and the hurt in Sasuke’s eyes, the way Sasuke looks at him, his scream, his jerky movements and white knuckles of his tight fists on his sides, is the trigger deep in Naruto’s mind that has never misfired before. He feels blood rushing up his face, and his throat itches to scream at Sasuke back, and he feels his fingers curl in fists, and Sasuke steps to him, his hand shoots to grab the collar of Naruto’s shirt, pushes him until his back hits the door, and brings his face closer. And Naruto already opens his mouth to spit out something he would definitely regret later―  

“I saw you  _ die  _ in front of me.”

―and doesn’t say anything. 

It hits much closer to home than Sasuke probably intended it to be, and for one short delusional moment Naruto sees another face in front of him, the older one and more bitter, with a crease settled too deep between black eyebrows, with the eyes that now, in this life, look at Naruto from the face of Sasuke’s brother. He blinks and the vision is gone. 

“I am sorry, Sasuke,” Naruto says quietly, looks down and smiles weakly. “I am so sorry.” He’s said it already several times, but only now he realises he really sounds genuine enough to his own ears. He sounds broken too, and he knows he should take a grip on himself right now, before he says or does something that wouldn’t be like the Naruto, that grew up with this Sasuke. Besides, despite Sasuke being not aware of this, Naruto knows that he is an adult here, and it is his responsibility to fix this.

He doesn’t know what he is upset with more at the moment ― unwillingly orchestrating the situation that not only hurt Sasuke, but brought up painful memories in Naruto, or that he got so easily affected by them. He promised himself the day he got here, that he would appreciate every moment of this second chance, and would not let himself focus on his past, unlike what Kakashi is apparently doing, but he didn’t imagine, he would be the one who would hurt Sasuke. It had always been the other way around...

The slight trembling of the hand on his collar brings his attention back to his friend and he looks up, and his eyes widen in surprise when he sees two tears making their way down Sasuke’s cheeks. He doesn’t remember ever seeing Sasuke cry. Neither of them. 

"How would you feel, if I died in front of you, Naruto?" 

Naruto sucks in a breath, and his heart skips a beat. It is involuntarily reaction to this question, that brings up too many memories and feelings that he not as much as suppressed, but transformed into something else, or at least he thought he did. He opens his mouth and the answer is on the tip of his tongue, has been waiting there for more than a year, to be said out loud at least once, to someone, or at least to himself, but he can’t voice this, probably the only thing he can’t, he doesn’t want to think of this, and he closes his mouth and swallows hard. 

Naruto smiles despite himself, and he sees a frown forming between Sasuke’s eyebrows, but before Sasuke can get angry again, he pushes at the hand on his shirt, and drops his forehead on Sasuke’s shoulder. It’s so hard to think this is not  _ his _ Sasuke when they both even smell the same. Perhaps he should already stop paying attention to what makes them different.

"It would crush me," he answers instead of what he wants to say, and words, though honest, feel wrong formed in such a manner. He pushes closer as if not noticing the hand on his shirt that is trying ― weakly ― to hold him at the distance. "I don't know if I―" He wraps his arms around Sasuke’s waist, trapping his hand between their chests, and just holds him tight, paying little attention to how stiff Sasuke is in his arms ― he knows, that if Sasuke didn’t want him that close, he would never let him. “It would feel like a small part of me dying too.” 

He probably shouldn’t have said that. He still hasn’t fully figured out what kind of relationship the Naruto he replaced here had with this Sasuke. Sure they were friends, best friends even. He knows they basically grew up together, thanks to Kakashi and Itachi’s ministrations. He also knows that those times that Sasuke was almost unconsciously crawling in his futon in the middle of the night when Naruto was having a nightmare, had nothing behind it than the sincere attempt to sooth his friend to a more peaceful sleep, judging by the complete lack of awkwardness the next morning when Naruto mentioned it. But he doesn’t know if they actually  _ talked _ about what drives Sasuke to even bother, but Naruto certainly knows how  _ he  _ feels, because another reality or not, it  _ is  _ Sasuke, and Naruto just can’t help it. 

But Sasuke is only fourteen, and it would be fine, if Naruto was too, but he knows, he is not, and it is too early anyway, and perhaps even a little bit unfair, because he has clearly brought his feelings to Sasuke from his first life, and how could he possibly act on them with this Sasuke, when he doesn’t even have memories of all the time they spent together growing up, and perhaps he shouldn’t have― 

“Baka.” The arm trapped between them relaxes, and another finds its way to the back of Naruto’s head, and goosebumps run down Naruto’s spine at the feel of the fingers in his hair. “Baka Naruto. Never do this again.”

Naruto nods in a silent promise, and relaxes in the embraces. He doesn’t want to let go, but knows he will have to, just…

“Hey, Sasuke,” he mumbles in his friend’s shoulder. “If my clones are the same as me, does it mean that if I really was there, I’d get under that collapsed cave anyway?”

The hand in his hair freezes, and he can feel Sasuke’s heartbeat fastening. Sasuke’s other hand tenses between them, and fingers take a hold of Naruto’s shirt again. It can’t be comfortable, and Naruto expects Sasuke to push him away, but he does no such thing, and the hand on his head slides down to his shoulders.

“No.” It sounds like denial, but Naruto doesn’t say anything. 

He raises his head to look at his friend. He smiles, and then smiles even wider when Sasuke blushes, apparently realising suddenly that their faces are so close, that the tips of their noses are a breath away from touching.

“What are you so happy about?” Sasuke drops his hands and pushes back at Naruto’s hold on him. Naruto lets him with a little spike of disappointment, but is smiling all the same ― blushing Sasuke is a view he would never get tired of.

“It’s nice to see, that you care.”  _ For a change... _

Sasuke frowns in what looks like annoyance and Naruto wonders if he actually said something wrong.

"Dammit, Naruto, of course I care!" Sasuke answers simply as if it should’ve been obvious. Perhaps it should’ve, and Naruto is just an idiot. Well, it’s not his fault he is more used to Sasuke who showed what he probably considered affection by leaving bruises all over Naruto’s body. Not that Naruto minded  _ some  _ of those bruises, but the fact is still the same.

"Well, if you weren't such a  [ tsundere  ](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tsundere) all the time, it would be easier to understand how you feel." He actually wanted to talk about this long time ago, and this situation seems to be a perfect opportunity to raise the question ― honestly, Sasuke’s ambiguous behavior is hella disorienting. 

"Tsundere? I'm not a fucking tsundere!"

"Oh, than guess it's just your way of showing me your love," Naruto laughs, and a blush covers Sasuke's pale cheeks as he takes a rushed step back. His eye-lashes flicker as if he wants to avert his eyes but tries not to. 

"Who says anything about love, you baka Naruto?!"

"Your red face.” Naruto walks to him slowly and he can swear he sees a flicker of panic crossing Sasuke’s face. "You look so cute, Sasu-chan." He almost sings  _ chan _ , and Sasuke’s face goes scarlet with a rush of fury and embarrassment, and Naruto can’t help but laugh, when Sasuke starts violently shoving him from the room.

"What the... Go away, Naruto!" Sasuke does a fast work of pushing Naruto all the way to the door, opening it, and shoving him outside. Naruto is too busy laughing to resist.

"You love me, Sasuke, admit it!" He cries at the door when it slams closed in front of his nose, missing it by a fraction of an inch. 

"Get lost, teme!"

Naruto is still laughing when he turns around and jumps in surprise when he sees Itachi standing behind him silently. He keeps forgetting how quiet and eerie this man can be.

“Hello, Naruto.” Itachi’s voice is stripped off any intonation like it is most of the times, but somehow right now it sounds even more flat than usual.

“A-ah, h-hey, Itachi,” Naruto chuckles nervously and swallows, when he realises he is looking straight into the two pinwheels of Itachi’s Mangeky ō . Oh, shit. “Wait, Itachi, I’m sorry!”

“I know you are.” Naruto imagines he can see a start of a smile on Itachi’s lips, when his Sharingan starts spinning.

“Ah, f―”

**~**

“It was  [ Icha Icha ](http://naruto.wikia.com/wiki/Icha_Icha) , Itachi! You made me listen to Kakashi reading me  _ porn _ for  _ days!”  _ Naruto whines in the hundredth time while he is dragging his feet behind Itachi toward the Hokage Tower. Apparently Itachi promised Minato to execute a hand-to-hand delivery of Naruto to him, while making sure on the way he doesn’t make anything stupid again. First time ever Naruto is not looking forward to seeing neither of his family, and the said family consisting of too many people who seem to feel responsible for his misbehavior. Feeling endlessly guilty makes it even worse, plus Itachi has already made sure that Naruto will think twice next time when the idea to use the clones to slack off will cross his mind. 

“It was only ten hours, Naruto, not days.” Damn Uchiha seems entirely unsympathetic to Naruto’s inner pain that occured as a result of him spending unidentified amount of time in The Worst  [ Tsukuyomi  ](http://naruto.wikia.com/wiki/Tsukuyomi) Ever. 

“But it was  _ Icha Icha _ ! It felt like  _ weeks _ ! I am forever traumatised!” Naruto wipes away the remains of tears and suppresses a gag at the memory. He feels a bit ashamed of the good five minutes he spent on the floor outside of Sasuke’s door after Tsukuyomi was released and he all but collapsed to his knees in a boneless pile of self-pity and misery. Sasuke probably heard his whines. Naruto will never live this down… 

“Just ten hours, Naruto. And I know you did read those books before.”

“Because I had no choice! Ero-Sennin made me proofread them. But you made me listen to _Kakashi_ reading it for what felt like _months_!”

“You deserved it, you know it. And it was ten hours.”

“Yeah, well, I did, but don’t you think a  _ year  _ of Icha Icha is a bit of an overkill?”

“Ten hours, Naruto,” Itachi repeats calmly without even sparing him a glance. Naruto wishes the Uchiha was a bit more expressional, because he has a feeling that Itachi is silently laughing at him, but he has no solid evidence to back up his accusation.

“He managed to read it to me  _ twice _ during that time. Ugh, I want to open my head, take out my brain and wash it with soap.”

“Will make you think twice before doing something stupid like that.” They reach the Tower and Itachi finally turns to him. Naruto could swear he sees a short lived tilting of the corners of Itachi’s lips, and he even wishes for Shisui or Kakashi to be here to help him to identify Itachi’s mood.

Naruto shoves his hands in his hair, creating even more mess on his head, and leans against the wall of the building. “You’re a monster, Itachi-kun,” he whines half-heartedly, too late realising that it is probably not the best thing to say to this particular Uchiha. He whines again at his stupidity, that today is beating all of his previous records. “Sorry, I didn’t m―” 

“I know Naruto,” Itachi answers simply, seemingly unaffected by Naruto’s careless remark, and actually smiles a little, poking his forehead lightly with two fingers. Naruto knows, it is a gesture of not just a simple affection but trust, and he values each time Itachi does it, as Naruto is the only one beside Sasuke, who Itachi treats this way. It took some time getting used to, having this image of grim, dangerous, scaringly smart shinobi, the way Naruto remembered Itachi, and seeing with his own eyes the other side of him, all shiny eyes and warm, gentle even, smiles, when Itachi listens to something Sasuke bragging to him about, and the way Itachi closes his eyes and carefully holds Sasuke, when the boy gives him a hug. Naruto thinks he can understand a bit better the things happened between the two brothers in the first life. Seeing the two smile at one another instead of hating, is a blessing of its own. They both deserve it, Naruto thinks. Even if Sasuke is not aware of this. “I believe you can find your way to your father’s office from here,” Itachi adds and makes a move to leave, but Naruto catches him by the sleeve.

“Ano, Itachi, can you use other people’s knowledge for Tsukuyomi or only what you know personally?” Naruto asks, and Itachi’s brow twitches slightly in surprise.

“I can’t read minds, Naruto.”

“So only what you know?” Naruto repeats, and Itachi sighs lightly.

“Just ask it.”

Naruto grins and folds his arms on his chest. “How come you know Icha Icha? I didn’t take you as a closeted pervert. Or are you?” he asks and his grin grows wider.

Itachi takes a breath deeper than usual and briefly looks above Naruto’s head, that Naruto already knows is Itachi’s version of rolling eyes. “Shisui got curious once about the books Kakashi was reading. Kakashi was happy to lend him one. Apparently Shisui found it more entertaining to read it for me outloud rather than to himself.”

Naruto laughs when Itachi winces slightly telling this, and decides that he really likes Shisui.

“When was it?”

“About five years ago.”

Naruto whistles. “And you still remember the whole scenes!”

“I have a perfect memory,” Itachi answers grimly, and “ _ unfortunately”  _ there is almost audible.

“So Shisui-kun is another pervert, then. If I were you, Itachi-kun, I’d watch my back.”

“What? Why?”

“Just, you know...”

Naruto winks, and turns his back to slightly bewildered Itachi. He is still laughing when he is walking the stairs to the floor with the Hokage office on it. 

_ Don’t worry, Itachi-kun, tomorrow I will explain you  _ **_everything_ ** ...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter is ready, but I probably won't post it until I've written two chapters after it, cause I wanna post them one by one. Next 4 chapters will be mostly Shisui/Itachi, with Naruto and Kakashi making appearances here and there, plus some interesting revelation about Naruto, that, I bet, neither of you expected, but I'm sure all if you will be happy to see


	18. Types of Love ARC. #1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ShiIta arc is starting from this chapter.
> 
> It consists of 5 chapters (I dunno how this happened, I guess I just love Itachi that much, shutup), here is a short summary of them in case if you wanna skip smth but don't wanna miss major plot ~~devices~~ twists:
> 
>  **#1** Naruto and Kakashi give Itachi a lecture and send him to talk with Shisui  
>  **#2** Itachi reflects on how Shisui is such a good friend and has always been there for him yada yada yada, super boring, just ditch this one, unless you love Itachi so much that you'd give him your firstborn (like I am)  
>  **#3** Itachi talks with Sasuke why Sasuke dislikes Shisui so much; then Itachi talks with Shisui and tells him the truth about time travel  
>  **#4** trust me, **you don't wanna miss this one** , just trust me on that okay. Even if you are not too much into ShiIta I'm sure you will find smth to appreciate in this one. It's _beautiful_ ~~(still not sure how I managed to write it like that)~~  
>  **#5** Kakashi talks with Itachi about whether Itachi decided if he is in love with Shisui or not, and then they talk about smth important Naruto says to Kakashi in #1 (this one, like this one below), and trust me you'll love this plot ~~device~~ twist
> 
>  
> 
> Also, let's take a moment and be amazed how after 17 chapters the characters are finally having the conversation-teaser from chapter one of this fic xD "I won't be making this thing too long", I said. Sure... This said, and with this chapter this fic is officially past 50k words... 
> 
> Unbetaed, will update as soon as my beta will have time to check it, so plz ignore silly typos/mistakes.
> 
> Also, I am overwhelmed with the attention this story gets, the amount of kudos and subscriptions is constantly growing, and I am beyond happy and super grateful to everyone who is taking the time out of their lives to read this ^_^

# People who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point

“Tomorrow” was a bit too optimistic, apparently, because it takes Naruto almost three months to get Itachi and Kakashi in one place, and make sure that those, attached to a hip with them ― such as Obito, Shisui and Sasuke ― are somewhere else at that moment.

First, Kakashi leaves the village ― for the first time since Naruto appeared here ― for some mission he insists to be classified, and when he returns, looking a bit worse for the wear, but satisfied, Team Seven is sent to two boring C-ranks, and one B-rank missions all at once, because “they are fairly in the same place, just about a day on foot between each, sure you can handle”, which Naruto thinks might be his father’s way of letting him know how much he disapproves of Naruto’s last time handling a C-rank mission.

“One day” turns out to be almost three, Sasuke grumbles almost all the way through the first two missions, but lights up during the B-rank one, when in a fight with Iwa-nin he finally gets to use his Chodori with the help of the Sharingan. He is blindly beautiful in the shaky blueish light, the red in his eyes and the mess of black hair, that grew a bit more in the last year, and Naruto can kiss him on the spot, but he pushes the urge down along with the one that forces him to form Rasengan each time he sees Chidori in Sasuke’s hand. Some habits die even harder than those they belong to, and Naruto sure did put up a fight before getting himself killed.

On the way to Konoha Sasuke is so full of himself, that even Sakura hisses at him with annoyance, and Naruto kills time reevaluating his decision about Rasengan.

They are back home after two weeks of absence, but as soon as Naruto tries to take hold of Itachi, both him and Shisui leave for two separate ANBU missions, and the first thing Naruto notices the next morning, is a significant drop in crows population in Konoha, and he wonders, whether they all left with Itachi, or the Uchiha “hung” most of them on his cousin. Naruto can still see the one in a vicinity of Sasuke, of course, and the crow, “assigned” to watch Danzō, either following Itachi’s orders, or on the contrary having, perhaps, more freedom of choice now, when Itachi is away, becomes by times more annoying, and Naruto has to suppress a laugh, when he stumbles across Danzō in the Tower, and gets to enjoy the view of Danzō’s face, twisted in a scowl, when he tries to drive away the annoying bird, that attempts to sit on the top of his head each time the man stops.

The both Uchiha are back after about a month, with not even a single visible scratch on them, though it is hard to say in case of Shisui whose clothes are covered in dried blood — Itachi’s are clean, but it could mean anything and Naruto doesn’t really have any illusions, as Itachi is known to be a little OCD, so no one would probably be surprised if it turns out that the Uchiha’s heir is washing his clothes after missions before returning to Konoha.

After that Yondaime sends Tenzou, who Naruto talked into distracting Obito in case if the man decides to glue himself to Kakashi’s side while the both are in Konoha, to a mission in Suna, and Naruto actually goes to his father this time and tells him everything what he thinks about him sabotaging Naruto’s genius plan of showing Itachi the way to a romantic side of life. Minato is clearly holding down a laugh, listening to his son, and only says that Naruto should’ve talked to him earlier.

The next day Shisui gets a longer shift in ANBU, Itachi and Kakashi get a day off ― much to their dismay, because the both obviously decided to work themselves to another deaths, as if already dying twice somehow is not enough for whatever it is they both are trying to atone for ― and Rin makes Obito train Sasuke, despite the boy’s protests, because “of course, your brother can show you how to use Sharingan, but it is always good to learn from different sources.”

Itachi and Sasuke come to the Hatake house after breakfast, and they all see Obito and Sasuke off. Sasuke looks like a grumpy cat, Obito keeps a warm smile on his face, clearly excited to share some of his knowledge with his distant cousin ― perhaps not so distant, or maybe not a cousin at all, because Naruto is not patient enough to puzzle out Uchiha’s complicated family connections ― and Naruto just loves them both, and it all really feels like a family, and when he turns to look at his two fellow time-travelers, he just hopes their impassive faces are meant to hide the rainbow of emotions they for whatever reason decided they can’t allow themselves to demonstrate.

Naruto doesn’t say any of that though, because he is already fed up with the people, who require from him so much brain work to be able to at least guess what is going on inside these stubborn heads of theirs. So he just grabs the two men by the wrists and sits them both on the couch, pointing two accusing fingers at the both of them, and too late realising that, perhaps, he should’ve rehearsed this with Kakashi beforehand.

“You said you’d fixed it!”

Itachi tilts his head slightly, and Kakashi lifts a brow and looks at Naruto in a silent question, he knows he has to answer as soon as possible, or there is a growing risk that the man refuses to cooperate.

“We have. Most of it,” Kakashi says.

“No, you forgot something.” Naruto drops one hand to his side and moves another in between the two men, pointing at each of them several times and then stopping his hand in front of Itachi. “You forgot to fix yourself!”

Itachi focuses on the finger in his face, his brow twitches and then he looks up at Naruto. “I am sure you meant Kakashi,” he says flatly. Basically everything that he says sounds flat anyway, so Naruto is not very impressed yet ― he’s already figured out that the gloomy Uchiha lets a lot of Naruto’s pushy behavior slide, that he doesn’t so easily tolerate from others, so as long as Itachi’s eyes stay black, Naruto can take his chances.

“What? Why me?” The look on Kakashi’s unmasked face is all of the betrayal and genuine surprise, when he turns to look at Itachi, who glances at him looking even more unimpressed than usual.

Naruto feels quite unimpressed himself, but he waves Kakashi off, shifting on his feet impatiently. “I’ll get to him later, don’t worry. But now I’m talking about you, Itachi.”

Itachi folds his hands on his chest and Naruto notices the painted fingernails ― simple black this time ― and not for the first time wonders whether it is just an old habit, Itachi hasn’t been able to rid himself from, or the Uchiha actually enjoys it ― he wears this necklace of his 24/7 afterall, so why not, wouldn’t be the weirdest of his features, hardly the man is having some sort of a morbid nostalgia for the time spent among Akatsuki.

“And what is it you think needed to be fixed in me?”

Naruto puts his hands on his hips and says with confidence. “Your eyes.”

Kakashi raises a skeptical brow, Itachi shifts his own, and a light crease appears across his forehead. He takes a moment to answer, which is a bit unusual, but Naruto chooses not to read much into this.

“Everything is fine with my eyes,” Itachi says finally. “I haven’t been―”

“If it was true you would’ve already noticed by now what Shisui-kun is doing!” Naruto interrupts him, and tries to wink to Kakashi without letting Itachi notice, but doesn’t succeed, and Kakashi looks like he is fighting the urge to roll his eyes.

“What Shisui is doing.” Itachi repeats, and his voice is so stripped of any intonation, that it actually sounds eerie. More eerie than usual, that is.

“Yep.”

**~**

“And what is Shisui doing?”

“Courting you,” Kakashi says before Naruto can quote his own answer on the similar question, making this conversation uncomfortable way too early.

Naruto nods energetically, and Kakashi notices a slight change in Itachi’s posture, as he leans on the back of the couch a bit more heavily, seemingly relaxing ― whatever Itachi expected them to say, it clearly was not it, and Kakashi can see that the Uchiha begins to lose interest in the conversation. Well, he did warn Naruto, that it wouldn’t be easy.

“I know,” Itachi says simly, and _“so what?”_ hangs in the air. Naruto’s eyes widen, and Kakashi pushes down a chuckle ― he is not as much as surprised, that Itachi has actually noticed, but more amused by the fact, that neither of them thought Itachi would.

“Wait, what?!” Naruto almost screams, and Kakashi can almost hear how the plan, Naruto had for this conversation, is breaking before his eyes.

“I am neither stupid nor blind, Naruto,” Itachi explains patiently. His eyelashes flatter briefly ― something is bothering him, but not enough to stay fully on guard. Kakashi makes a mental note to nag him after Naruto is done with him ― not only Naruto can be annoying. “And I see enough of the similar behavior to recognise it in my best friend,” Itachi adds with a slight tilt of his head toward Kakashi. Figures...

“But why…” Naruto actually looks almost the same as when he has to listen to some complicated chakra theory. Kakashi even feels a bit envious at the moment ― he wishes he could see the life as simple as Naruto sees it. “Don’t you like him?”

“Of course I do. He is my best friend.”

“So what? Sasuke was my best friend either, but we―”

“I know, Naruto, you’ve told me _all_ about it,” Itachi interrupts him, and Kakashi catches a slight change in his voice, that sounds _almost_ like repulsion, and Kakashi doesn’t know whether to applaud Naruto or scold him, for giving the Uchiha what apparently was a summary of his otouto’s sex life. “Not all best friends should necessarily be in love with each other.”

Naruto blinks and Kakashi grins openly, giving him the _I told you so_ look.

“But Shisui _is_!” Naruto insists.

“Maa, poor guy has been at it for a while,” Kakashi draws, without turning back to Itachi ― he will hardly see anything new on the Uchiha’s face, Naruto on the other hand… “Even Naruto noticed.”

Naruto almost jumps on his spot, and glares at Kakashi.

“What do you mean _even I_ noticed?!”

“Oh, I remember you going on an on for years about Sasuke being like a brother to you, and the next thing I see once he stops trying to murder you, is you shoving your hands down his pants, so you are not the best example of noticing such things, Naru-chan.”

Kakashi says all that with a smile plastered on his face, and Naruto is all fidgeting when Kakashi finishes. His face is red, but Kakashi thinks more from trying to suppress the urge to scream and argue, rather than from embarrassment, and Kakashi enjoys the show of the short-fused boy trying to get hold of his emotions. He really did grow up a lot in those two years Kakashi missed. Kakashi haven’t decided yet what to think of it.

“That’s not― You shouldn’t have―” _seen it_ , Kakashi finishes silently for him. Well, unfortunately he did, and unfortunately he still remembers it.

“Anyway, it doesn’t matter,” Itachi sighs and returns the conversation back to the topic it started with.

Naruto rubs his face, breaths in, seemingly frustrated. “We just told you your best friend is smitten for you, and you say it doesn’t matter?”

“Yes, that’s exactly what I say.”

Naruto sends Kakashi a pleading look, that the man ignores, and sits down on the floor, folding his legs under him.

“I think this time travel thing didn’t do well to you ― you give me an impression of a 50-year-old jiji, Itachi,” Naruto whines and rubs his neck. “How old are you now, by the way? You are not 50, are you?!”

“I can assure you, Naruto, I have always been like that,” Itachi says, with a slight tilt of the corner of his lips.

Naruto leans toward Kakashi, his eyes wide. “Has he?”

“Yeah, pretty much.” Kakashi chuckles as Naruto’s eyes grow even wider and he looks at Itachi with sympathy.

“Well shit, must be boring.”

“I assure you, it’s not.”

“Well, you bore me to death, Itachi.”

“I can leave any time now,” Itachi answers patiently, and Kakashi is really curious to know what the Uchiha really thinks of Naruto. The people of such temperament are usually not the ones Itachi is willing to tolerate, yet Kakashi has seen so much evidence of Itachi’s quite warm attitude toward Naruto, that it’s clear to him, that Itachi sees him at the very least as the necessary evil, and at the most actually likes him. Kakashi wonders how much of it has to do with Naruto being Sasuke’s friend, and how much of it Itachi brought from his limited interactions with Naruto from the first life. Come to think of it, since Naruto time-traveled here a year and a half ago, Itachi has been seen talking to him more often. How much of it is Naruto’s doing, is another question.

“No way, first tell me what is wrong with Shisui!” Naruto nods to himself folding his hands with the _I’m-not-leaving-this-spot-and-neither-you-are-before-I-get-what-I-want_ look.

“Nothing is wrong with Shisui, Naruto.”

“Then why?”

“Why what?”

“I just told you he is in love with you, you should be already on your way to fall in his arms!”

Itachi’s brow crowls a bit higher and he actually looks more amused than annoyed at this point. “I don’t think that’s how it works, Naruto.”

“How would you know?”

Two heads turn to Kakashi simultaneously, and he wonders whether they both have actually forgotten that he is also present.

“Excuse me?” Itachi’s brow drops to its usual place, and his face is again impossible to read.

“C’mon, Itachi.” Naruto raises on his knees and points at Itachi’s face. “I can tell from just looking at your face, that with all that geniusness you have you wouldn’t notice your own feelings once you fall in love.”

“Look who’s talking...”

“Shut up, Kakashi, I’ll get to you next.”

“Wha―”

“You can’t say all this just from looking at my face,” Itachi says confidently, turning his attention back to Naruto. Kakashi knows that Naruto didn’t mean it literally, but Itachi has never been good with figures of speech.

“Actually, I second what he said.” Kakashi knows Naruto was bluffing, but it’s a good card to play.

“Kakashi,” Itachi says with a sigh, and _et tu_ is clearly implied.

“What? I’ve known you enough in that life and this too, to see that you are dense when it comes to such things.”

“What things?” Itachi looks frustrated, and that just won’t do. At first Kakashi treated Naruto’s idea as just another silly project of his, and agreed to participate only to get Naruto of his case for at least a little while. But actually seeing Itachi being so indifferent, makes Kakashi feel sorry for Shisui, who is surely nearly as nosy and annoying as Naruto, if not more, considering that the Uchiha is far better with staying unnoticed and much smarter than the younger Namikaze, but he is a great shinobi and a good man, and he seems to be genuine with his feelings toward Itachi.

Plus, Kakashi would never admit it outloud, but he considers himself a romantic person, and no matter what others might think, he sure reads those Jiraya’s books not for the porn, especially now, when he can easily satisfy this urge with the actual living husband, and he just can’t pass an opportunity to help arrange someone else’s love life, and the two Uchiha would look so good together… Perhaps it’s just age though. Being older than Naruto for more than thirty years suddenly makes him feel ancient.  

Kakashi shakes himself out of his musings, realising that he missed a part of the conversation, and now he probably will have to deal with an aftermath of whatever silly thing Naruto tried to feed Itachi with.  

“...I know that you love Sasuke, alright, but that’s not what I mean!” Naruto says, shoving his hands in his hair. He looks like he is breath away from running away screaming, because he clearly dismissed all the warnings Kakashi gave him about Itachi in this case. Not that Kakashi has actually talked about such things with Itachi before, but he knew what to expect.

“Didn’t you tell me you got your Mangekyō when Shisui died?” Kakashi comes for the help.

Itachi gives a short nod, turning to him. “He was my best friend. He still is now.”

“Then what do you feel for him? And please, don’t tell me that he is like a brother to you, because I sure have heard this one before. And we all know that it was a dirty, _dirty_ lie,” Kakashi says, looking meaningfully at Naruto, who chuckles, and rubs his neck awkwardly.

Itachi opens his mouth to answer, but then pauses, and a crease appears between his eyebrows. He looks down at his lap for a moment, and Kakashi can tell that it’s, perhaps, the first time when Itachi actually gives this a thought. Shisui has just been there for him, and having him has probably just felt natural to Itachi. And with an ease Itachi always adapts himself to any life circumstances, it is no wonder he’s never questioned that.

“I care about him, of course, I do,” Itachi finally answers, looking back at Kakashi. “But I love my otouto. That’s more than enough love for me.”

From the corner of his eye Kakashi sees Naruto clearly has a lot to say about this, and he gestures him to keep quiet.

“So you think if you love Sasuke you can't love someone else?” Kakashi asks, and hears Naruto mumble under his breath, _“That’s a crappy excuse if I ever heard one.”_

Itachi just shrugs, as if it is so obvious, it is not even worth to answer.

“There are different types of love, Itachi,” Kakashi explains patiently. “You can have more than one.”

Itachi is silent for a moment, searching Kakashi’s face for something. He throws a glance at Naruto, looks back at Kakashi, and suddenly says, more grim, than Kakashi has heard him in awhile, “I don’t think I actually can, Kakashi.”

Naruto clearly loses it, jumping on his feet and pulling at his own hair. “For such a smart person, Itachi―”

“It is not the matter of my intelligence,” Itachi interrupts sharply, turning to Naruto and glaring at him. Naruto swallows and quietly lowers himself back on the floor. “I understand what you both are talking about. I just… don’t think I can feel this way.”

“I think you can. You just never had a chance to.” Kakashi puts his hand on Itachi’s shoulder and squeezes it lightly. “Listen, Itachi. I’ve known you long enough, and I see how you are near Shisui. You might not notice that, but that’s what I want to ask you to do. To think about it, about what you feel, to maybe give it a chance. To talk to him, at least. You have a right to choose not to question yourself about this. But don’t you think Shisui deserves some answer, even if it is the _let’s stay friends_ one?..”

Itachi’s eyes twitch slightly and for a flicker of a moment he looks surprised even, as if he really has never considered how him completely dismissing Shisui’s feelings might make Shisui feel. Kakashi is sure it has probably not been intentional ― if Itachi has never caught himself feeling anything like this, he wouldn’t know how hard it could be being near your crush for years and never getting any reciprocation.

“You are right, Kakashi, I must talk to him,” Itachi says finally, and Kakashi smiles, letting go of Itachi’s shoulder. Naruto is quietly cheering on the floor, probably scared to jinx it if he is any louder. “Although, I doubt it will change anything from my side,” Itachi adds, standing up.

“You’re good at fooling yourself, Itachi. That’s why you can’t grasp your true feelings,”[ * ](https://youtu.be/Xd-yv8Ukmt0?t=1m45s) Kakashi answers with a smile, but Itachi suddenly freezes up and a frown forms between his eyebrows.

“What’s wrong?”

Itachi shakes his head, and fixes his eyes at the empty space before him. “One friend once told me something like that,” he answers thoughtfully, without turning to Kakashi.

“That friend knew you well, then.”

“Yes. Yes, he did.”

 

### Omake:

“One down, one more to go!”

“Uh, what?”

“Now it’s only left to make those stupid pining of yours and Sasuke’s to get to its natural conclusion. Again.”

“I am not pining! And what’s this sudden interest in our relationship? And he is fourteen!”

“That’s almost fifteen. Which is almost sixteen. Which you were fine with last time. And didn’t you have your first kiss when you both were twelve?”

“What?! Ugh! Kakashi!”  

“So, really it’s not that he is younger than you.”

“What?! He is _fourteen_! You pervert!”

“And you’re thirteen. Almost fourteen too in f―”

“I’m almost twenty one!”

“You know, Naruto, one of the first things I learnt here, was that if I keep clinging to my real age instead of the one of the body I’m in, it can get things really complicated and even weird at times.”

“Yeah, like how?”

“Like I prefer not to think that I was in my mid thirties when I had sex with a 16-year-old.”

“Ew, that’s gross!”

“Exactly.”

”...Ok, I see your point.”

“So, you and Sasuke―”

“Oh, shut it, Kashi-nii, it’s complicated.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The reason I didn't want to post this chapter before the following 2 are done, is because of that last line of it, that I want you to pay attention to and, if possible, to remember that it was said, as it will have its own little and important arc in this story.
> 
> Next 1-2 chapters are Itachi's pov, ShiIta and mb Itachi&Sasuke centered, and the one after that Shisui's pov -- that one was written _months_ ago and I can't wait to post it, because I love it, and I read it so many times and I think it's the most sensual thing I've ever written and it's just beautiful (a little self-praise is always good ahaha)


	19. Types of Love ARC. #2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, _**those, who are not fans of ShiIta or Itachi in particular**_ , **READ THIS NOTE** : you can skip this whole arc. This one and next 3 chapters (yeah, I have no chill) are pure ShiIta and if it's not your jam, you'll be bored out of your minds. There will be some other very important notShiIta stuff in the final chapter of this arc, but I'll sum it up for you in the notes to the chapter that will go after this arc, so don't worry.
> 
> Some info about the following chapters will be in the end notes.
> 
> Betaed by [cherryberry12](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cherryberry12/pseuds/cherryberry12). Thanks a lot for all your suggestions!

## There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls

Itachi doesn’t realise where he is going until he finds himself standing on the cliff at the outskirts of the village, the sound of rushing water below almost deafening in the quiet of the night. He is standing a few steps away from the edge, musing on how even now, when everything is so different, his mind brought him here again. Only then he was not alone here, but it was his best ―  _ his only _ ― friend standing smiling in front of him, blood covering his face and the hand he was extending to Itachi.

There is no point being here again ― it is a needless sentiment, nothing more. Itachi is about to leave, when he hears muffled steps behind him. He doesn’t turn around to check as there is only one person who might have followed him here. 

Shisui walks past him, stopping on the edge and looking down. 

It is almost like last time, but there is no tension in Shisui’s shoulders, so Itachi waits silently for his friend to speak.  

Eventually Shisui turns around and looks at Itachi with that light soft smile of his. 

“Couldn’t sleep?”

“What are you doing here, Shisui?” Itachi asks instead.

“Could ask you the same, hm?” Shisui says with a smile.

Itachi looks past him to where his memory is drawing a blurry silhouette of another Shisui. They both wear the same smile, the same peaceful expression on their faces ― despite everything, despite the blood running from his violated eye-socket, despite the pain he must have felt back then, despite the seconds that were separating him from a step towards his death and Itachi from his Mangekyō…

“Itachi.”

A warm hand on his arm makes him blink and the vision from his past disappears. He looks to the real Shisui then, who is watching him closely. There is no smile on his face anymore, his eyes sharp and attentive.

“Itachi,” he says again, quieter this time, an unasked question hanging in the air between them.

“It is nothing, Shisui.”

He turns around, and walks away without saying another word, feeling Shisui’s gaze on the back of his head. 

Itachi doesn’t even question how Shisui found him, he never has, too used to having Shisui always somewhere near him. 

Shisui was just there. From the very beginning, in the background, when Itachi was too focused on his otouto to notice anything else, but always close, attentive eyes and easy smiles. He slowly worked his way from the background into Itachi’s awareness, staying by his side more and more to the point where Itachi couldn’t remember any longer if they actually were this close the first time around. Not that their friendship had a chance to last beyond Itachi’s early teens, so perhaps it was just the natural way of things.

When his mind was thrown in this past, he didn’t notice anything out of ordinary in the way Shisui was around him at first, perhaps it was not simply there, or Itachi needed to actually have some reference to be able to judge. Only after a few years did he see the shift in Shisui’s behavior around him. Itachi is not a very tactile person, but Sasuke is; the boy craves touches, hugs, fingers in his hair and little pecks on his cheeks even now, when he is older. Itachi has learnt to enjoy this physical affection, not that he would actually let anyone but Sasuke close enough for a hug. And maybe Shisui. Yes, Shisui might be fine.

It isn’t much, but Shisui likes to occasionally brush his fingers at Itachi’s arm or the back of his hand or drop his head on Itachi’s shoulder when they are sitting close. It isn’t much, but it is always there, so frequent that it has become natural for Itachi and he has never given it a second thought. 

The older they are getting, the more Shisui smiles at Itachi, looking at him with bright eyes; his voice, when he is telling him something, sometimes gets uncharacteristically soft and quiet. 

Itachi has never known romantic love. The circumstances, his own personality, whatever it is, he has never thought about it, and until recently would not probably recognise it in another person. But this world ― this past ― is different. The people here are different. The man who helped Itachi to massacre his own clan is now one of the most beloved people in the village, and he looks at his husband with the same glint in his eyes as Kakashi looks back at him. As Naruto looks at Sasuke. As Shisui looks at Itachi.

And it is not the same as the shining in Sasuke’s eyes watching his niisan.

Itachi has never known romantic love, he has never thought he needed or wanted it, but he is observant enough to see it in the eyes of his best friend.

This understanding hasn’t changed anything for him or their relationship. Except for Shisui’s looks at him getting more attentive. But overall it remains the same, and Itachi is grateful that Shisui is not really pushing the matter. Occasional compliments said in a joking manner and  some teasing remarks don’t really bother Itachi. If anything, they are a part of Shisui as well, and Itachi would never complain about his friend being the way he is.

But Kakashi’s words ring in his head, and he wonders whether he has been wrong assuming that they could remain the way they have always been, that it was somehow fine not to acknowledge Shisui’s feelings. He has never thought that it might be not fair toward his friend, who has always been there for him, who even died to give him the power he needed once. 

Who also is, perhaps not the only, but one of the biggest reasons Itachi is still here, alive, without anything in his lungs eating him from the inside.

Itachi didn’t mind dying. He didn’t lack self preservation, and he didn’t actively seek death, but he didn’t mind it. He didn’t like it, but he was not scared of it. It seemed a natural thing, as life was. Death was just something that would come after it. 

So he didn’t mind dying, as long as he managed to fulfill the purpose he set for himself in this life. And it felt almost natural to have Sasuke as the last thing he had seen before his conscious faded to black both times he died.

And as natural it felt for Sasuke to be the first thing he saw when he opened his eyes in his own much younger body years in the past.

It was natural, but it was not taken for granted. Itachi would never take Sasuke for granted. So he might have focused a bit too much on his otouto and put everything else in the background. 

Itachi didn’t mind dying. It was something he’d lived his whole life with that he didn’t even see the purpose of reevaluating it when his life circumstances changed. 

And when one day he woke up with a familiar burn in his chest and coughed out a few drops of blood, for several moments he simply felt nothing because he knew this day would eventually come when his sickness would caught up with him, and it was almost, in some morbid way, comforting to know it was finally there, the final piece he brought with him from his past life along with his Mangekyou, his memories and the slowly fading sharpness of his sight. And he didn’t mind dying. For these few moments he really didn’t, because there was no ultimate goal in his life this time, and the clan was alive, and Konoha was fine, and there were other people around who were just as capable as him to keep it this way. And Sasuke was safe, and not alone, and there was no need for him to seek any more power than he already had.

So for several moments that stretched out for hours, days, and then weeks, nothing changed for him, except that he had to be careful in not letting anyone see the change in his health. He went on with his life: ANBU shifts on Konoha’s borders were simple ― it all was rather simple to him ― assassination missions away from the village where he didn’t have to hide the blood on his palm and in the corner of his mouth, training with Sasuke and nights spent at Shisui’s place when Sasuke was having a sleepover with Naruto ― and here he had to be more careful, because he started coughing more often, and if Shisui or Sasuke saw…

He started coughing more often and felt first waves of weakness spreading through his body. This time it took mere weeks, not months or years, for his sickness to develop to this stage. 

When he was catching his breath in Shisui’s bathroom, holding at the cold porcelain of the sink, waiting for the buzz in his head to fade along with the nauseous numbness of his legs that refused to keep him standing up right, the sting of something he had never really felt made his heart race and he let himself sink down on the floor because he couldn’t really stand and he needed both of his palms to press at his mouth in an attempt to muffle another cough. 

Fear, he felt fear, and it was the fear of dying. It was not the fear of death itself, he wasn’t scared of feeling his consciousness slip away (he’d experienced it twice already), but it was the fear of  _ leaving _ , of not being present in this life long enough to see Sasuke grow up into an adult, to be able to spend more time with him, with Shisui, with his parents, to see if Obito would manage to talk Kakashi into agreeing to Rin’s offer and finally having that kid Itachi knew they both wanted, to see the progression of the friendship between Sasuke and Naruto, to see if his otouto’s childish crush would grow into something bigger once he was older.

The things he hadn’t had the luxury of even dreaming of in his past life were possible for him to experience. He could have this almost normal life among his family and friends and now he was scared that it would be taken from him, and he would die before he had enough of these simple mundane things, and in this moment, crouched in Shisui’s bathroom, with his palms pressed at his mouth, realising for the first time in his life ― both of them ― that he didn’t want to die ― not because it was inconvenient for his plans, but because he didn’t  _ want  _ to. With that familiar sickness eating him from inside, he felt more alive than ever before.

Itachi had always been very independent, but he wasn’t stupid and wasn’t stubborn and he knew different circumstances demanded different approaches and states of mind. More importantly, he wasn’t really a martyr, so when he felt that he could stand up without feeling dizzy he quickly washed the blood off his hands and left the bathroom.

Shisui was leaning against the wall in front of it, curiosity written on his face, but otherwise he didn’t look too concerned ― Itachi had never really fallen sick before, not even with a simple cold, and, knowing Shisui, he was probably more curious than worried.

“I might need to see a medic nin with this one,” Itachi rasped, his throat still sore from the violent coughing. He tasted blood on his tongue and realised he should’ve probably rinsed his mouth too. 

Shisui lifted a brow in surprise and tore himself from the wall, stepping closer. “And here I thought you would just say you got something stuck in your throat or ate a spoiled dango.” His tone was joking, but his eyes remained serious, roaming Itachi’s face.

“I don’t think dango can really spoil…” Itachi answered absentmindedly, and Shisui breathed out a short laugh.

“Not with the speed you eat them, no.” He took another step, reached out, and caught Itachi’s chin between his fingers.

“Shisui?..”

A thumb ran softly against Itachi’s lower lip and Shisui frowned. He let go of Itachi and stepped away, looking at his thumb with his Sharingan on. “You had blood on your lip…”

It sounded almost like a question Itachi wasn’t sure how to answer. He decided not to hide this from Shisui, but he didn’t want to make him worried either. The look of concern on his friend’s face when he turned to Itachi was something Itachi had never seen on him. He had gotten in a couple of dangerous situations the first time around when he still had been a kid, but Shisui had always been confident in Itachi’s ability to protect himself and hadn’t been worried. This now was unfamiliar for Shisui, and clearly worried him.

“Itachi?” Shisui asked, lowering his hand and wiping his finger at his sweatpants. “You are coughing up blood, Itachi.” Itachi just nodded, and Shisui’s eyes widened. “Were you injured on the last mission?”

Itachi could say Shisui didn’t believe this option himself, so he answered honestly, “No. It’s something internal.”

Shisui’s face went blank and he leaned against the wall again, folding his arms across his chest. “How long?”

The ambiguity of the question almost made Itachi smile bitterly. “A few weeks. It doesn’t matter. I’m telling you because you would notice anyway, but no one else should know, especially Sasuke.”

“Of course.” Shisui nodded, eyeing Itachi for another moment before turning away, heading to the bedroom. “It is late, let’s sleep.”

The lack of the interest in Itachi’s condition didn’t fool him. He knew Shisui well enough to understand that even if the man was not nagging him for answers it did not mean he wouldn’t look for them himself or would let the matter slide.

They didn’t talk about it again, only when days later Itachi was given a mission near Taki did Shisui almost absentmindedly note that it might be a good chance for Itachi to have some medic nins have a look at him without a risk of the news of him being sick with something serious being instantly known in Konoha. 

When Itachi returned, feeling much better, Shisui acted as if nothing happened. A lack of questions from him usually meant that he either had already found answers himself or was waiting for a more convenient moment to ask them.

It was hardly the first time Itachi wondered if it would be even possible to hide his secret from Shisui, but it was the first time when he started to suspect that Shisui might have already figured out parts of it.

But in any case now, after that conversation with Kakashi and Naruto, Itachi knows he must tell Shisui the whole truth himself because truly, even if Shisui fell in love with the Itachi he knows it does not mean he will still love the person who once slaughtered his whole clan and tortured his own little brother.

Itachi has never known romantic love, and he has never taken Shisui’s as something that he needed from him, but when he thinks about the possibility of Shisui getting over his feelings once he learns the truth Itachi really hopes that he won’t.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this ShiIta arc consists of 5 chapters (I dunno how this happened, I guess I just love Itachi that much, shutup), here is a short summary of the rest of the chapters in case if you wanna skip smth but don't wanna miss major plot ~~devices~~ twists:
> 
>  **#3** (not written yet but it should be better than this one) -- Itachi talks with Sasuke why Sasuke dislikes Shisui so much; then Itachi talks with Shisui and tells him the truth about time travel  
>  **#4** trust me, **you don't wanna miss this one** , just trust me on that okay. Even if you are not too much into ShiIta I'm sure you will find smth to appreciate in this one. It's _beautiful_ ~~(still not sure how I managed to write it like that)~~  
>  **#5** Kakashi talks with Itachi about whether Itachi decided if he is in love with Shisui or not, and then they talk about smth important Naruto said to Kakashi in chapter 18, that you all probably forgot already, but trust me you'll love this plot ~~device~~ twist


	20. Types of Love ARC. #3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some Itachi & Sasuke feels and then the conversation with Shisui. Hope you'll like it!
> 
> Thanks a lot, [cherryberry12](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cherryberry12/pseuds/cherryberry12) for betaing this and making it much more readable!

## Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away

The sound of an argument coming from outside of the house is what wakes Itachi up in the morning. He quickly puts on some clothes, throws a glance on the wall clock ― he overslept, but he had fallen asleep when it was almost morning, plus he is free till the next morning ― and walks downstairs. The house is empty, but the front door is open and outside he sees Sasuke hissing something in irritation at the smiling Shisui in front of him.

Shisui notices Itachi, and his smile changes for a fraction of the moment when he glances at him, becoming softer and more genuine before he returns his attention to the boy in front of him with a mask of polite indifference on his face. Except that, Itachi knows, Shisui is being much more patient with Sasuke than he would be with anyone else in such situation.

Shisui has always liked Sasuke, seeing how important he is for Itachi, and so he did his best to become friends with him. It worked easily; Sasuke adored Shisui and was always happy to see him and learn new things from him. They weren’t really friends in the usual meaning of the word ― the age difference was too high for when Sasuke was a kid ― but, using Sasuke’s own words, they were almost like a family.

In light of that, both Itachi and Shisui were surprised when Sasuke started becoming more and more hostile toward the older Uchiha, until at some point they stopped having peaceful conversations at all, and Sasuke seethed every time Itachi went somewhere with Shisui.

 _Jealous_ , Kakashi shrugged it off once he noticed it as well, but Itachi doubts that is the case, since Sasuke was never really possessive of him when he was a child ― surely this couldn’t change simply because he was getting older.

Their parents are writing it off as Sasuke getting into his rebellious stage, but Itachi knows his otouto is smarter than that.

He probably could’ve talked to him about this a long time ago, but in this new life Itachi has always preferred giving Sasuke as much freedom as possible, be it whatever the boy wanted to do or feel, and Itachi surely wouldn’t even think of trying to influence his way of thinking about something again.

Hating Shisui ― for whatever reason ― is Sasuke’s choice, and as long as it has not directly interfered with Itachi’s life he has been ready to let it slide. Itachi, of course, would sacrifice pretty much anything for Sasuke’s wellbeing, but in return he prefers having as much freedom as he is giving Sasuke.

So far, Sasuke and Shisui’s one-sided clashes haven’t really effected Itachi’s life, but in the light of the conversation he is planning to have with Shisui and the possible outcome of it, he is ready to reevaluate the extents he lets Sasuke go to with his dislike of Shisui.

Like, right now, for instance, Sasuke is clearly not too happy with Shisui coming to their house asking for Itachi. And _this_ is not threatening Sasuke’s well being. _This_ is none of his business.

Itachi walks over to Sasuke, sneaks one arm around him and puts his palm over Sasuke’s mouth, interrupting his rather unintelligent argument. He presses Sasuke’s head to his shoulder, making it difficult for the boy to just wiggle away from Itachi, and Sasuke moans in protest, hands flying to Itachi’s, trying to tear it away.

“Quiet, foolish otouto,” Itachi says with a low voice, lacking of his usual affection, and Sasuke stills against him.

“Great timing, Itachi. I must admit I like your brother more like that,” Shisui says with a chuckle, and Sasuke starts fidgeting again, but Itachi simply ignores it.

“Don’t you have to be at work now, Shisui?” Itachi asks.

“Oh yes, but I was just passing by, and thought I should come say hi.” Blatant lie, of course.  Shisui’s eyes are laughing when he looks at Sasuke and reaches his hand to ruffle Sasuke’s hair. “But your little guard dog here apparently decided I am not allowed to see my favorite friend.”

Sasuke groans deep inside his chest and jerks forward, but Itachi’s hold on him doesn’t weaken and he has no other choice but to relax against Itachi again.

“I am going to talk about this with my otouto now. It’s been a long time coming. Right, Sasuke?” Itachi looks down at Sasuke, notes his red ears and how his lips shift into a pout behind Itachi’s hand. It makes him want to smile but he is being a strict older brother now, so he keeps the hard expression on his face. “And Shisui…” Itachi looks up at his friend again, “meet me outside the gates after your shift, would you? I have something I’ve been wanting to talk to you about.”

Shisui’s brows tilt in surprise, but then his face softens for a moment and he nods.

“Of course.” He ruffles Sasuke’s hair again, throws one last glance at Itachi, and shunshins away.

Itachi lets go of Sasuke, and the boy spins on his heels, red in the face, clenching his fists angrily.

“Niisan!”

“Your room. Now,” Itachi says dryly before turning away and walking back into the house, knowing that Sasuke will follow.

Sasuke is indeed following, all while sniffing angrily, and Itachi lets his lips curl in a small smile while his otouto can’t see it ― even at fourteen Sasuke still sometimes behaves like a little kid near Itachi, probably subconsciously hoping it will get him more positive attention from his brother.

In Sasuke’s room, Itachi leans against the windowsill, and when Sasuke walks inside and closes the door behind him, says, “I must have missed the moment when you started hating Shisui. You used to like him, otouto. Don’t you remember?”

Sasuke folds his arms against his chest and looks to the side.

“I don’t hate him.”

“Your attitude toward him says otherwise.”

Sasuke chews on his lower lip and shifts from foot to foot. He is still trying to avoid looking at Itachi, and Itachi waits silently.

“I don’t hate him,” Sasuke repeats and looks up at Itachi. “What is it you said you wanted to talk with Shisui about?”

“Why does it interest you all of the sudden?”

“Because Naruto―” Sasuke cuts himself short and shoves his hands in his pockets, irritation written on his face. “Nevermind.”

Itachi likes Naruto, he really does. But sometimes he wishes his brain to mouth filter worked a bit more effectively at times. “How does whatever Naruto said to you have anything to do with your hostility toward Shisui?”

Sasuke chews on his lip again, seemingly contemplating whether he should tell Itachi whatever it is bothering him. Finally he sighs, walks to the futon and sits down, folding his legs under him.

“Niisan, do you like Shisui?” Sasuke is not looking at Itachi when he asks the question, his eyes are fixed on his hands on his lap. The tip of his ear visible to Itachi from this angle is slightly red, and Itachi feels his brows twitch in surprise, both at the question itself and Sasuke’s reluctance to meet his eyes.

“Of course I do. He is my friend.” This answer reminds Itachi of the conversation he had with Naruto and Kakashi and he really hopes he won’t have to go through this again, and with his little brother of all people.

“Che, I didn’t mean it like that, niisan!” Sasuke looks up, frowning.

Itachi can’t quite believe he is having this conversation with his little brother. He was more prepared for it with the roles reversed and Naruto being the subject, not Shisui…

“I don’t see how it is any of your business,” Itachi replies dryly, and Sasuke’s brows fly up. Whether he is more surprised at Itachi’s tone or the answer itself it is hard to say. It is not really an answer to Sasuke’s question, but it wasn’t a _no_ either, and clearly both of them are aware of it.

“Is it what you are going to talk about with him today?” Sasuke stands up and walks to Itachi. He looks unusually anxious, and Itachi is genuinely confused. Sasuke can’t really be jealous, can he? No, Itachi knows his otouto, that is clearly not the case here. What, then?

“You are overstepping, otouto.” Sasuke swallows and looks downside, clearly upset. Itachi pushes down a sigh and reaches out, taking hold of Sasuke’s chin, forcing him to look up. “What is it?”

“I don’t hate Shisui, it’s just…”

“You said that already.”

Sasuke sighs, steps back, and Itachi lets his hand fall to his side.

“I don’t want him to hurt you, niisan, that’s it. I don’t mean that he _will_ , but it might happen, so...”

Itachi feels his eyes widen in surprise. Sasuke looks genuine enough to believe what he said, and Itachi still feels that he is missing something. It happens too often recently for his liking.

“Why would he hurt me?”

“I’m not saying that he will hurt you intentionally, niisan, but accid―”

“Sasuke.”

Sasuke sighs, shifting from foot to foot, and his eyes jerk to the side. He looks a few years younger like that, with a blush rising up his cheeks, when he says quietly,

“He likes you, right? Shisui. I noticed long time ago, and I thought… I mean, I don’t mind, but if you started liking him back, and then he would suddenly stop, or even if not, he might do something, or… Or something might happen, like… like...” Sasuke trails off, his eyelashes flicker and he swallows nervously. _Like Naruto’s clone dying in front you,_ Itachi wants to say, but doesn’t.

Sasuke is silent after that, and Itachi steps to him and brushes Sasuke’s long bangs from his face, letting his palm lie at the side of Sasuke’s neck. Sasuke raises his head, looking upset and almost embarrassed.  

Itachi might say that he saw Shisui die in front of him once, and it didn’t break him. He might say that he murdered their parents with his own hands, and it didn’t break him either. Or that he tortured the person who was his whole life ― still is ― and put him through hell. Or that he died himself ― twice. But he was still here.

But he can’t say any of it, nor he is sure himself that it really did nothing to him.

Sasuke’s concern is surprising and heartwarming, though a bit silly. It clearly started a long time ago and the accident with Naruto’s clone just added fuel to the already existing fire. How Sasuke managed to notice Shisui’s feelings is another question. It is quite possible, though, that the boy just imagined it and started worrying himself over nothing at first.

“It is true that those who we care about the most can hurt us deeper than anyone else,” Itachi says softly, caressing Sasuke’s cheek. “But we have little control over it. And we can choose to either not care about anyone, or to risk it. You don’t need to worry about me, otouto, or try to protect me. Protecting and worrying about you is my job.”

Sasuke’s eyes are fixed on Itachi and he is leaning into the touch, always so trusting, so sincere in his emotions. There is this unconditional love in his eyes that Itachi thinks he doesn’t deserve, he never will, no matter what he does, because nothing could atone for betraying this love and trust once. And he doesn’t know how he got so lucky  to have this boy in his life, who is not just his brother but almost his child, Itachi being the one who raised him, their mother only happy to see her two sons getting along so well and having more free time for herself. And he doesn’t know what it is he did that makes Sasuke always look up to him.

“I love you, niisan,” Sasuke says with a smile, and Itachi pokes his forehead gently.

“I love you too, otouto. But you must apologise to Shisui. And I promise you, you don’t have to worry about me.”

Sasuke rubs his forehead and nods. “I will. But if he hurts you, niisan, I―”

“He won’t.” Itachi smiles and walks past him. Already opening the door, he looks back at his brother and smiles wider. “And, by the way, otouto, don’t try pulling this _I hate you_ trick on Naruto. It will not work, that boy is more stubborn than you might think.”

A flush rises up Sasuke’s face, his eyes widen, and Itachi suppresses a laugh. “What?! What does Naruto have to do with that?! I don’t… Niisan!” He rushes to the door, pushing Itachi outside and slamming it shut. Itachi chuckles softly and walks away, wondering how his little baby managed to grow so fast.

~

Shisui is already waiting for him outside the village when Itachi gets there early that evening. Itachi leads them to one of the openings in the woods near a river, Shisui airily telling him about some rumors he’s heard, all along throwing at Itachi curious glances.

When they arrive, Itachi sends a couple of his crows watch in case anyone appears nearby ― he wouldn’t want to risk anyone overhearing what he is going to say, nor does he want to be interrupted.

“Must be something serious you want to talk to me about, Itachi,” Shisui says with his usual smile. “More serious than your sickness?”

Itachi sits down not far from the water and waits for Shisui to join.

With a surprise he finds himself slightly nervous. It might just be that this is the first time he is going to talk the time-traveling with someone — until now Kakashi has always been the one telling the story. But mostly it is probably because it is Shisui.

“I wasn’t planning telling you this yet, but Kakashi and Naruto brought to my attention something that I’ve been wrong to dismiss for so long.” Itachi is looking at the water before him when he speaks. Shisui drops onto the ground beside him and leans back on his hands.

“And that would be?..”

“That it is unkind of me not to acknowledge your feelings in any way,” Itachi answers, turning to look at his friend.

“My feelings? What kind of feelings?” Shisui lifts his brows, and despite Itachi being quite proficient in reading Shisui’s face, he can’t be sure at the moment whether Shisui is simply pretending or genuinely confused.

“Your feelings about me,” Itachi gives a flat answer and a wide smile blooms on Shisui’s face.

”Oh, those feelings!” He says a tad too enthusiastically for his surprise to be genuine. “I suppose I haven’t been too subtle?”

“No.”

“And you’ve known for how long?”

“Long enough.”

“I see.” Shisui’s expression shifts slightly, and while the smile still lingers, Itachi knows he is putting himself a bit more on guard. “Well, thank you for acknowledging them then, Itachi, but I suppose it doesn’t change anything.”

Itachi watches his friend’s face for a moment and then turns back to look at the river in front of him.

“It might.”

“Oh.”

“But I must tell you something first.”

Itachi hears Shisui shift when he sits upright, but doesn’t turn to look at him.

“Well, I’m certainly not going to pass on this chance,” Shisui says cheerfully. “I’m all ears.”

Itachi starts talking, knowing that Shisui will listen silently before speaking his mind or asking questions. He gives Shisui a short explanation of how things differed in his first life, he mentions Obito and Kakashi’s Sharingan, the Kyuubi attack on Konoha and how it changed the whole dynamics between Uchiha clan and the village. He has to close his eyes to tell Shisui about watching him die and getting his Mangekyou in return; about murdering their whole clan, torturing Sasuke and then leaving Konoha to join the Akatsuki. He doesn’t try to justify his actions more than is absolutely necessary. He mentions his sickness, and his final fight with Sasuke. He then tells what he knows about the war, mostly from Naruto’s stories. He tells him about dying the second time and then opening his eyes in this world and learning about Kakashi being a time-traveller too.

He stops there, there is no need to talk about what this made him feel and how important this second chance is for him.

He is sitting with his eyes closed after he finishes, waiting for Shisui’s reaction. Somewhere in the middle of Itachi’s story Shisui moved closer, pressing himself to Itachi’s side. The warmth of him so close is soothing, but Itachi is waiting for him to move away any moment, disgusted or disappointed with the things Itachi said. Instead he feels Shisui dropping his head on Itachi’s shoulder with a quiet sigh.

Itachi opens his eyes, but he can’t see Shisui’s face from this angle so he just watches how the wind softly shifts the black curls on Shisui’s head. He wants to lean down and breath in but he doesn’t dare.

“So, Kakashi was the first and then you,” Shisui speaks up. It is not exactly what Itachi expected Shisui to say first, but he supposes Shisui has a right to be curious.

“Yes.”

“I take it Naruto as well?”

“Why do you think so?”

Shisui laughs breathlessly and tilts his head to throw a quick glance at Itachi. He is smiling, both lips and eyes, and Itachi is not sure whether he feels more relieved or surprised at Shisui apparently taking his tale so lightly. “Give me some credit, Itachi. The boy suddenly acts like he doesn’t know me, runs around the village like a kid in a candy shop and then after a year of acting weird and too old for his age decides to make friends with me.”

He is right. Apparently, not only Itachi didn’t bother to tell Naruto that he had known Shisui since childhood. A mistake on his part, certainly, but in any case, Itachi doubts Shisui wouldn’t suspect anything even if Naruto did his best from the very beginning to pretend they were friends.

“Yes, he appeared about two years ago. He is older, yes, but not much. Must be around twenty now, I suppose.”

“Well, either growing up without parents and two senpai willing to teach him everything they know resulted in him being much weaker, and that’s considering he was a jinchuuriki, or whoever it was they were fighting was ridiculously strong.”

Itachi takes a moment to answer still slightly surprised by the course the conversation is taking. “If he had a Bijuu now, he would be stronger than me.”

“And you have Susanoo, I take it?”

“Yes.”

Shisui whistles and laughs. “Damn, that is one strong kid. And some really strong enemies.”

“He is. And Naruto would be thrilled to tell you more about those enemies, I’m sure.”

They are both silent after that, and Itachi is not sure whether he should actually say something or just give Shisui more time. He closes his eyes, waiting and listening to the sound of the river, and he almost misses a quiet sigh and the rustle of clothes when Shisui pulls his legs under him.

“Why did you decide to tell me this now?” His voice is quiet, on the verge of a whisper even, and Itachi opens his eyes before answering.

“Because it might change the way you feel about me.”

“My feelings haven’t mattered to you before, have they? Why now?”

Itachi takes his time to answer. The question is a legitimate one, he knows they could’ve just talked about Shisui’s feelings without Itachi telling him about the time travel. It is true that Itachi thinks the new knowledge of who Itachi really is might affect Shisui’s feelings, but he also knows that it shouldn't have mattered to him if all he wanted was to let Shisui know that they should stay friends.

The problem is Itachi is not quite sure what it is he wants.

“Because I can’t give you an answer if I know your feelings are based on the wrong perception of me,” he answers finally.

“And what answer would it be?”

“I still think you have a wrong perception.”

Shisui breaths out a short laugh, then sighs deeply and moves his head slightly, as if he is rubbing his cheek on Itachi’s shoulder. Knowing Shisui, he might as well.

“I’m sorry that I abandoned you.”

Itachi shifts but otherwise doesn’t move. He doesn’t answer either, and he feels Shisui moving closer. There is a warm breath on Itachi’s skin when Shisui nudges the edge of Itachi’s shirt out of the way with his nose and presses it in the crook of Itachi’s neck.

“I’ll never leave you, Itachi. I promise you that. No matter what, even if you ask me, I won’t leave your side.” Itachi feels Shisui’s lips move against his skin when he talks, and a strange warm feeling runs down Itachi’s spine. Shisui nuzzles him, inhaling deeply, and Itachi can’t help but stiffen.

“Shisui.”

Shisui sighs, raising his head and leaning back to finally look at Itachi.

“What, Itachi?”

Shisui’s face is calm, a small relaxed smile is tilting his lips. He is looking at Itachi with the familiar warmth, and he is definitely _not_ looking like a person who just learned that his best friend is a clan slayer and a time-traveller.

“Shisui?” Itachi asks, narrowing his eyes a little.

“Yes?”

“Did you know?”

Shisui’s lips curl in a pleased smile and he says,

“I did.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have some troubles in the family plus I'm starting full-time job next week, so I will have significantly less time and brain capacity to write.  
> Fortunately, the next two chapters are already written, just gotta check 'em, so I'll probably post them within two weeks tops. After that it would very much depend on how these aforementioned troubles will be behaving. Wish for them to go away pls.
> 
> Next chapter will be my favorite one. Stay tuned =)


	21. Types of Love ARC. #4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IT IS HERE! This chapter that I wrote this whole fic for! okay okay not really, but it was written _months_ ago and I've reread it since then dozens of times and I still love it and I've been _itching_ to post it!
> 
> You know that feeling when you want to touch and kiss someone so bad, that it is the only thing you can think about near this person, and when you finally get to, it is so overwhelming, you feel that you can barely breathe?..
> 
> Sit back, relax and enjoy the read!
> 
> Million thanks to [cherryberry12](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cherryberry12/pseuds/cherryberry12) for proof-reading this chapter!
> 
> Title: Kindred

##  We are not dreams. We are the waking.

“Shisui?” Itachi asks, narrowing his eyes a little.

“Yes?”

“Did you know?”

Shisui smiles, pleased. “I did.”

Itachi’s face doesn’t betray what he might feel, and not for the first time Shisui wonders if one day he might be able to change that.

“Who told you?”

“Kakashi,” he says simply.

Itachi’s eyes narrow a bit more, and Shisui concludes that he is definitely not pleased with this information.

“You used your  [ eyes ](http://naruto.wikia.com/wiki/Kotoamatsukami) .” 

“No, of course not, Itachi! Do you think so little of me?” 

He knows he doesn’t fool Itachi with his pretend indignation, though what he said is true ― he didn’t use Kotoamatsukami to get the information he needed from Kakashi, but when he came to the man after he saw Itachi cough out blood last year, long ago already suspecting that there was something Itachi and Kakashi were hiding, he was really close to activating his Mangekyō when even the direct accusation of being a liar and hiding something crucial didn’t wipe the fake smile from Kakashi’s eyes, when he, with innocence too fake to be sincere, insisted that he had no idea what Shisui was talking about.

“Kakashi doesn’t like talking about this. He wouldn’t just tell you.”

“He didn’t  _ just _ tell me, Itachi,” Shisui admits, and goes on before Itachi can come to any unpleasant conclusions. “I told him about your sickness and asked if he knew about it. He told me then. Not everything, but enough to trust him.” He pauses and brushes Itachi’s hand lying on the man’s lap with the tips of his fingers. “He said it would kill you eventually if not treated. I didn’t want you to know,” he adds after some consideration. “If you chose to never tell me, I’d accept that, Itachi.”

Itachi considers his answer for a moment and then looks away from Shisui, who uses it to lean in to rub the tip of his nose on Itachi’s neck again. He is allowed to, and he wonders if the action brings Itachi some comfort or if he hardly even notices it, too used to Shisui’s reluctance to even consider having such thing as personal boundaries between them.

“Why?”

“Why what?” Shisui asks and places a butterfly light kiss under Itachi’s ear. His long hair is soft and smells like bamboo ― fresh and clean. 

Itachi is silent for a few moments while Shisui, encouraged by the lack of rejection, adds several more kisses to the first one, all soft and light.

“Why do you want this? You know what I did,” Itachi says finally and his low voice sounds just the slightest bit deeper. “You know who I am.”

Shisui smiles and rubs his nose up along Itachi’s neck stopping when he reaches the ear.

“I know what you did and  _ why _ you did it,” he answers quietly, delighted when he sees goosebumps on Itachi’s neck from his breath on it. “It doesn't matter.” He kisses the skin behind Itachi’s ear softly and places one of his hands on Itachi’s hip. “You are still my kind, caring Itachi.”

Shisui can feel Itachi’s pulse under his lips beating faster than usual, and the breath Itachi takes before answering is too close to a gasp.

“Since when am I yours?”

Shisui digs his thumb under the edge of Itachi’s shirt and begins caressing the soft skin there in short circles. This is the closest his friend has ever let him, and Shisui’s head is reeling from the warmth radiating from Itachi, the fresh scent of his skin, the softness of his hair falling on Shisui’s face, and all the opportunities for the first time opening before him.

“Since I met you.” He lets his hand move a bit higher and there is a half of his palm on the skin of Itachi’s hip now. “Since you accepted me as your friend.” Shisui nips at Itachi’s earlobe, and now it is definitely a gasp he hears. “Since you let me be the only one who is allowed to touch you like that.” He breathes out his next words near Itachi’s ear and his lips are moving along the shell of it. “Always, Itachi. Forever. As I am yours.”

He is half-hard and feels almost drunk. This man is all he’s ever wanted. Being allowed to say all of this to him, to touch him, to  _ hope _ that there can finally be something more is utterly intoxicating. He didn’t lie when he said that he didn’t care about things Itachi had done. It doesn’t matter. He will always love and cherish him.

“Shisui.” His name is said in a hoarse voice he’s never heard from Itachi before. Shisui smiles, closing his eyes for a moment, and inhales him before leaning back to look at Itachi’s face.

He is exquisitely beautiful, and Shisui can’t breathe under the weight of the feelings in his chest. It is almost madenning how much he loves this man. Almost, but not entirely, and Shisui wonders if this is how the Uchiha’s love is, when just one slip is needed to push it over the edge, to turn the most incredible warm feeling into devouring darkness, and he doesn’t want to imagine what an Uchiha who lost the object of their love can turn into. 

He is breathing Itachi in as if he is trying to fill his very being with his scent, that hurts with a devouring  _ want _ that should’ve been getting more bearable now when he is allowed to touch, to feel, to be so close, but the more he gets, the more he touches, the less it is enough, and Shisui’s head is reeling, drunk on sensations and driving him crazy with the desires he can’t even name. He doesn’t think, he just painfully  _ wants _ , he is hard but at the same time he knows it is not only about lust. It is so far from the simple act of satisfying a physical need that Shisui is almost sure that sex won’t bring him enough relief to cool the fire burning in him.

It is almost scary and he doesn’t know where this greed is coming from, this furious passion, this desire to claim, to put Itachi on his knees and fall down himself to his feet, to kiss and bite, to feel his breath catching, turning the quiet gasps into breathless moans, to enter this body, and make him his, to take and to give, all of himself, everything that has always been Itachi’s to take, and his only.

“Itachi,” he inhales, leaning to catch Itachi’s mouth in his. He more feels than hears how Itachi’s breath catches when he gasps quietly, and Shisui doesn’t even try to hide his moan at the contact of those warm soft lips on his. He has been dreaming of this for so long, for longer than it could’ve been even appropriate to have such thoughts about his younger cousin, but he was doomed since the day he met this beautiful creature, with all of Shisui’s skill and intelligence fading to nothing before the blind conviction that he was born for this ― for the feeling of the soft warm lips on his, and delicate lines of the beautiful face under the tips of his fingers; for the feeling of the other’s tickling breath on his cheek; for this fresh and clean smell, filling him in, wiping out his thoughts and his identity, leaving no  _ I _ and filling his mind with the only name he wants to roll in his head and on his tongue for the rest of his life like a sweet neverending candy with a fresh scent of bamboo.

“Itachi…” there is almost no sound in the movement of his lips against Itachi’s, but it sounds like a prayer in his head when he presses their mouths closer together. He is completely besotted at this point, when he slides his tongue in Itachi’s mouth, licking along the roof of it and Itachi’s own tongue. His fingers tremble when he pushes his hand under Itachi’s shirt and plants his palm flat against his stomach, feeling the muscles tensing slightly under his touch. “Itachi―” It is almost a whisper, and he ducks his head to lick and suck under Itachi’s jaw, down along his neck, feeling his rushed pulse under the press of his lips to Itachi’s skin. “Let me…” Itachi’s skin is hot under his palm and he moves his hand higher, brushing his fingertips lightly across the hard bud of Itachi’s nipple. “Please, Itachi, let me love you.” Shisui almost whines the last words; desire, love, and inexplicable  _ need _ , filling him to the brim, threatening to spill over the edge, making his chest hurt and his fingers quiver. “Please, let me…”

_ Let me show you how beautiful and important you are. Let me take you and give all of myself to you. Let me be with you… Let me… _

“I love you,” he says in the dip above Itachi’s collarbone, no longer able to hold all the emotions filling him at bay, and he pushes Itachi softly to lay back on the grass. Finally being able to voice his feelings is cathartic. “I’d do anything for you.” He ducks his head to catch Itachi’s nipple between his lips, brushes it lightly with the tip of his tongue and almost loses it when he hears Itachi’s low quiet moan. “I’d die for you.” He slides lower and mouths the soft skin near Itachi’s hipbone, almost whining at the intoxicating warmth under his lips and the scent of him that is heavier here.

“You died for the village once.” Itachi’s voice is hoarser than usual, and Shisui reaches to unbutton his pants, not able to wait any longer. “Stay alive for me.” Long cool fingers run through Shisui’s hair when he tugs the waistbands of Itachi’s pants and underwear just low enough to free his hard member.

“Anything.” He presses his nose to the hard flesh, and his own raging heartbeat is loud in the darkness behind his eyelids. “Anything you want.” He wraps the fingers of both hands around Itachi’s hips and they leave their marks on the pale skin there the moment Itachi involuntarily bucks up, when Shisui takes him in his mouth, shuts his eyes, and loses himself to the taste of Itachi on his tongue.

He probably shouldn’t rush it but he has no patience left so he sucks hard, hollowing his cheeks and swallowing around the hardness in his throat. Itachi jerks, gasps, drags at his hair, and Shisui does it again, his heart beating faster against his chest as he tastes droplets of salty slick against his tongue. Shisui feels like he’s drowning; his whole awareness is full of Itachi, warm and straining and shaking under his touch.

His eyes are closed, he doesn’t want anything to distract him from the feeling of Itachi’s arousal, but he opens them when Itachi hardens even more in his mouth and the first wave of incoming orgasm pulses on Shisui’s tongue. He looks up, not stopping the movement of his head and work of his tongue, and he moans at the view before him. Itachi’s eyes are closed, his head is thrown back slightly, his mouth is open and he’s breathing heavily, his throat moving deliciously when he gasps. His shirt is halfway up and Shisui gets to see his stomach tensing when Itachi holds his breath and suddenly stills for a fraction of a second before arching his back, a low moan making its way out of his throat, and Shisui moans in unison, almost coming untouched, when Itachi spills hard, hot, bitter and so absolutely delicious in his mouth, sharp nails scratching Shisui’s skull, and Shisui thinks if he is to choose one moment of his life to experience on an endless loop it would be this one. 

Itachi is lying boneless under him, catching his breath, and Shisui only then realises he activated his Sharingan. He blinks, turning his vision to normal, swallows Itachi’s release in his mouth, pulls off and let’s go of Itachi’s hips, noting with satisfaction the few small dark bruises his fingers left there. He wants to mark Itachi, he is not going to hide it, and judging by the lack of reaction Itachi doesn’t particularly mind it. 

He carefully arranges Itachi's clothes back to how they were before Shisui messed them up and lies beside Itachi. He wants to kiss him on the mouth to let Itachi taste himself on his tongue, but Shisui is not sure how Itachi would take it, so he settles on softly sucking on the skin under his jaw. 

Itachi breathes out soundly and turns his head, one of his hands making its way back to Shisui’s hair, and he feels himself being pulled in, and then Itachi’s lips cover his, and he laughs shortly, breathlessly into the kiss, before opening his mouth to let their tongues meet. 

He can’t help but press his erection to Itachi’s hip, and Itachi gasps quietly into his mouth and lets go of his hair in favor of reaching to the front of Shisui’s pants, and when he presses his palm to the hardness there, Shisui moans, breaking the kiss to look at Itachi’s face.

“Gods, Itachi…” His voice is merely a whisper, but he is surprised he can still breath under the weight of those dark eyes watching him with more emotions he has ever seen in them. The haze of a recent orgasm is there, but they are still almost sparkling with a mix of warm tenderness, slight surprise, and sharp wonder, and Shisui is not sure if the last two are aimed at him or at Itachi himself. 

Long fingers undo his pants quickly and reach inside to wrap around Shisui’s erection. He wants to close his eyes and focus on the feeling of the cool fingers around him, but he doesn’t want to miss the play of emotions in Itachi’s eyes, so he just moans, and lets his head fall down on the grass, his eyes on Itachi’s.

It is not too long before Shisui is already on edge, but he doesn’t feel embarrassed by it, thinking that he wouldn’t probably be surprised if he came in his pants while having Itachi’s cock twitch in orgasm in his mouth.

Itachi gasps when Shisui spills in his hand, his eyes, red with Sharingan, are roaming Shisui’s face, and Shisui doesn’t know what he finds more enthralling about this orgasm ― Itachi’s hand bringing him over the edge, or Itachi deliberately imprinting this moment forever in his memory. And he just wants to propose here and now, but thankfully his senses are returning to him faster than he has a chance to scare away the love of his life with pathetic and too rushed sentiments, so instead he slips into something they both are more accustomed to.

“So what did you think of your first time?” he asks cockily with a wide grin after Itachi pulls his hand from Shisui’s pants and wipes it off on his own shirt without so much as a blink. If Shisui didn’t know Itachi that well, he’d probably doubt the accuracy of his assumption but he knows that trying to read Itachi’s impassive mask is never going to bring any results, so he always looks underneath. By now he counts himself as the only expert of Itachi’s tells.

“Who said it was my first time?” Itachi answers flatly, turning his head to watch the night sky. 

Shisui doesn’t answer immediately taking his time to take in Itachi’s features in the dim light of the moon. He activates his Sharingan again and just watches,  and his silence is giving Itachi’s question weight the man hardly intended it to have.

“Because I know you, Itachi,” he answers quietly, and the seriousness in his voice is probably what makes Itachi turn his head to meet his eyes.

“You don’t know  _ me. _ You know only  _ that _ Itachi.”

“That’s enough. And you are just you,” Shisui answers honestly and smiles. “That’s enough to know that you wouldn’t let anyone touch you like that.” He reaches his hand to brush long dark locks from Itachi’s face as if to demonstrate what kind of touch he means.

“I let  _ you _ .”

“Yes, you let me.” This softness in his own voice is unfamiliar, it feels strange on Shisui’s tongue, it makes him feel almost vulnerable, but it is not something he has any power over.

They are silent for some time, Shisui’s fingers gently caressing Itachi’s cheek and jaw. He doesn’t want to tear his hand away, he doesn’t want to turn his Sharingan off, and Itachi doesn’t seem to mind, just lies on his side, his dark eyes searching for something in Shisui’s face.

“Why me?” he speaks finally, and Shisui smiles, because this is the question he knew Itachi would ask. It is short and simple on the outside, but there is a weight of unfortunate circumstances and tough choices under it; there is pain, guilt, and loneliness and Shisui doesn’t have an answer for everything this question implies, and the longer he thinks about it, the more it seems like something that just can’t be easily defined.

“I don’t know. I suppose that’s love for you. You don’t get to choose, you just feel.” 

“Just feel…” There is a crease between Itachi’s eyebrows and he turns away, looking up again, and Shisui shuts his eyes and lets out a small bitter laugh, feeling like something is tightening unpleasantly in his chest, and he is cursing his Uchiha blood silently because it is easy to blame the consuming force of what he feels on his genetics and he should probably keep silent, he shouldn’t probably ask anything, for his own sake, but he knows he must, because it’s Itachi, and he would rather die than make him unhappy.

“But you don’t feel it, don’t you?” He didn’t intend to phrase it like that, it sounds too much like the answer is already implied in this question, and he cowardly chooses to keep his eyes closed when he hears Itachi turning to him again.

“I don’t know. But I want to find out.”

_ That’s not how it works _ , Shisui wants to say, but he doesn’t, because it’s Itachi, and nothing is ever simple or how it’s supposed to be with him, and Shisui loves it in him too, so perhaps this is exactly how it works for  _ Itachi _ , because no matter what they both know that what Shisui has said is true, and Itachi wouldn’t let anyone so close if there wasn’t  _ something _ . And Shisui wants to help Itachi to see this something. 

He opens his eyes and smiles, and his heart flickers just a bit when Itachi smiles in return.

“You still haven’t answered my question, Itachi-kun,” he adds his usual teasing intonations in _ kun,  _ and Itachi makes a grimace at the honorific, but the smile is still tilting his lips.

“It was… interesting. It was good.”

“Wait till I show you more,” Shisui says moving closer and kissing the edge of Itachi’s smile.

“Why should I wait?” Itachi answers with a blank face, and Shisui can’t help but laugh and press his face in the crook of Itachi’s neck, breathing him in, and try not to pay attention to how his heart swells with all the happiness filling it.

“You shouldn’t,” Shisui says tearing himself away from his lover to rise on his feet. “You free now? When is your next shift?”

“Tomorrow morning,” Itachi answers, standing up.

“Great, plenty of time,” Shisui says, still smiling widely, his cheeks starting to burn already from the strain he put them through with the blowjob and all the wide smiles.

He reaches for Itachi’s hand, and the feeling of the slightly cool palm in his is so familiar and yet already different in a way, when he knows that it is not just his friend’s hand he is holding tightly in his fingers, but his lover’s now, and he brushes the back of Itachi’s hand with his thumb, a little gesture he hasn’t dared to do before, that now, being allowed to, soothes him in some unexplainable way.

He shunshins them both to the doorstep of Shisui’s house, and Itachi is the first to enter it. 

Shisui has all night and hopefully many more after that to show Itachi what it is to love someone with every fiber of the soul and body, and he hopes Itachi can find it in himself to learn to experience this feeling along with him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Talk to me, guys, I am looking forward to know what this chapter made you feel!


	22. Types of Love ARC. #5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Final chapter in this arc that sums up ShiIta relationship and reveals smth interesting about Naruto, that I hope, you will all be happy about =)
> 
> I appreciate everyone who kudoed, subscribed and/or commented on this fic. It means a lot to me seeing that so many people are having warms feels reading this =)
> 
> Ttitle: Kindred
> 
> Unbetaed yet

##  All sparks kindle new flames

Itachi is having his lunch break, sitting on a wide branch of one of the trees on the outskirts of Konoha, when Kakashi finds him. The man lands quietly beside him, snatches one dango from the small paper box on Itachi’s lap, tugs his mask down and throws the stolen dango in his mouth, smiling with his eyes while chewing on the sweet food. Itachi throws a disapproving glance at him, finishes his onigiri, and moves the remaining dango from his lap to the branch on his right, so Kakashi could not steal another one.

Kakashi doesn’t put his mask back on immediately, and Itachi abandons any hope that the man came here just with intentions of stealing his meal.

“Kakashi.” Itachi quietly greets him, letting some questioning intonations slip in his voice.

“Itachi-kun, it is nice to see you,” Kakashi says cheerfully and not very genuinely, but Itachi is used to dealing with his manner of talking, and simply ignores it, letting the man have this warm-up before getting to the subject he really came to discuss. “It has been, how long, a week?”

“Three days,” Itachi answers flatly, and Kakashi smiles widely, propping one leg on the branch and putting his chin on the knee. 

“Maa, and you are alone here?” The position doesn’t particularly allow Kakashi to move his jaw while talking, and so he moves his whole head instead. Itachi knows the occasionally goofy exterior serves as just another mask to hide Kakashi’s real feelings. Itachi has never quite understood why the man goes out of his way for it when holding an impassive face would serve the same purpose. But everyone finds their own ways to deal with their inner demons. 

“Yes.”

“I was sure Shisui-kun is here as well,” Kakashi seemingly absentmindedly scratches the tip of his nose, but Itachi recognises the gesture as deliberate. And there he thought he spent enough time in the shower this morning to rid himself of any additional scents. Apparently he has been underestimating Kakashi’s sense of smell. “I’m not even going to ask you how it went, Itachi-kun ― I can smell the answer all over you.” His tone is mocking, and he is smiling, but it is not that smile, that is accompanied by closed eyes and too many wrinkles in the corners of it, that can fool someone like Naruto perhaps, but is transparent for Itachi. No, he is smiling, but his eyes are open, watching Itachi closely, but softly, and Itachi knows the man didn’t come here to mock him.

One look is enough, and Itachi hums and turns away, taking one dango from the box and starting to slowly chew on it.

“It is new to you, isn’t it? All of it,” Kakashi asks quietly, and Itachi sees him shift from the corner of his eyes. They both are now looking in front of them on the village stretching toward the horizon. 

“Yes,” Itachi answers honestly. It took him some time to begin to consider Kakashi among the people he can trust the most. Itachi has never liked being too open with his thoughts and feelings, he didn’t really wanted to, and it prevented him from said feelings being used against him. He learnt to consider Kakashi safe enough to be open with him to some extent. It is just another thing that this world has given him ― a new friend. “I’ve loved Sasuke since the day he was born, and I see he loves me too. I’ve always thought it was enough.”

“That’s different, and you know that, Itachi. Your love to your otouto was worth giving your life for. But this is worth living for, isn’t it?”

“I am living for Konoha and for my otouto. You know that, Kakashi.” It is almost an automated answer, the one Itachi used to repeat to himself over and over again to remind himself why he couldn’t let himself die too soon. It is as far from the truth now as this life is far from the previous one. 

“Itachi, you have never lived a day, you just went through the motions.”

It is too accurate to argue and Itachi doesn’t answer. He takes a moment to check on the crows that are keeping an eye on Sasuke and Shisui, and the one that is watching Danzo, just in case, almost absentmindedly so, and ignores Kakashi’s soft chuckle, when the man notices Itachi’s concentration ― Kakashi once called him a mother-hen when he learnt how often Itachi does that. When Kakashi tried to turn his paranoia into a joke, Itachi simply offered to have one crow watch Obito. Kakashi choked on his laugh, and a sympathetic breathless chuckle is now the only reaction he gives.

When Itachi is finished, he eats the last dango and turns to look at Kakashi.

“ You are talking about love, but I am not even sure that it’s what it is. Not in the sense you mean it.”

It is not fully truthful, but Itachi doesn't know how else he can voice it. He knows the love to his otouto and his parents, he knows the love toward Shisui as well, but the one he’s always considered the love between close friends. He owes Shisui so much. He admires him, he worries about him. But from what he’s seen of people acting on the feeling of being in love with someone, he has to admit he has never felt the same urge. He enjoys being with Shisui, whether it is just discussing something, or sitting silently side by side, or ― his newest discovery ― having sex. But he knows, he will feel happy enough even if he never sees Shisui again, but knows for a fact, that he is well. 

He knows he loves this small handful of people ― his friends and family ― and he knows he would do anything in his power for them to be happy. He doesn’t understand where this line lies that divides loving someone and being in love.

“That’s the thing about love, Itachi. Everyone gives it their own meaning. You have never been like the others, Itachi. If you don’t feel it in a way you think others do, this just means that you feel it in your special way.”

Itachi turns to Kakashi and lets a corner of his mouth to curl up a little. “I have always known you were a romantic deep down, senpai.”

Kakashi laughs and gives him an eye-smile. “Don’t tell anyone.”

“How do I know for sure, Kakashi?”

Kakashi drops the smile and looks at him seriously, instantly understanding what Itachi is asking.

“Itachi, you’ve lived how long? Should be more than thirty years now, right?”

“Yes.”

“Have you ever been with someone the way you are with Shisui? And don’t tell me about the lack of time or possibilities, or no one being interested in you. I’m married but not blind. How many women and men had offered themselves to you?”

The question is unexpected one, not that Kakashi is wrong to assume anything of a sort, but Itachi has never really tried to look at himself from other people’s perspectives. He’s heard the compliments, of course, he might have even taught a lesson to a couple of too eager men ages ago, but he’s never considered such attention worth taking into consideration. He might say that he was occupied with other things, but he would lie saying, he didn’t really have time or opportunity.

“I didn’t count,” he answers simply. He traveled a lot as an Akatsuki member afterall. He met a lot of people. “I wasn’t interested.”

“You need to be closer to someone, trust them, to be able to let yourself go like that, don’t you? It is not just sex for you, Itachi, you should be realizing this by now.”

It is not just sex, of course, although Itachi doesn’t really have any experience of _just sex_ to be able to compare, and he’s really never wanted it. But he remembers being almost surprised with himself at the lack of resistance he felt when Shisui first touched him differently, of how natural and _safe_ it felt to feel Shisui’s lips on his. He doesn’t want _just_ _sex,_ he doesn’t want _just kisses_ , but when it is Shisui he realises he, if not really craves, but welcomes all this. 

And perhaps it is different from what others consider love or the way they express it, but for Itachi it is a feeling of complete trust and calm that being near Shisui brings him. He feels safe and comfortable with him, he doesn’t have to pretend or be on guard, body and soul, he feels like at home with him, feeling that only with Shisui it can reach such levels that he can express it with his body as well.

Itachi doesn’t know what Kakashi sees on his face, but he smiles and squeezes Itachi’s shoulder briefly.

“Looks like love to me.”

It is almost cathartic. No sudden revelations washing over him and stealing his breath like it would be for the characters of those ridiculous Jiraiya-sama’s novels, nothing dramatic like that. No, it is cathartic in a more simple way, like some faint buzz of not really anxiety, but something being not exactly right, just slowly fades away, and it even takes effort to notice that it’s gone. 

He still doesn’t know if he is  _ in love _ with Shisui, but it doesn’t bother him anymore, because he knows he  _ wants  _ to be with him, he wants all that comes with that, whether it is just a physical pleasure, or the opportunity to see with his own eyes every day that Shisui is well, or being able to let go of his mask.

“I’m happy for you, Itachi. We all are.”

Itachi looks at Kakashi and lifts his brow. “Who  _ we _ ?”

Kakashi laughs and pulls his mask back. “Naruto wanted to celebrate, but I talked him out of it.”

“I am forever in your debt, senpai,” Itachi answers half-jokingly, and Kakashi smiles.

“That you are. Speaking of which.”

“Debt?”

“No, Naruto.”

“What did he do?” 

Itachi has fast learnt that when it comes to Naruto it is almost always about him doing something and causing chaos. 

“He called me Kashi-nii the other day.” 

Itachi raises a surprised brow at the look of the frown on Kakashi’s face. He knows the man loves Naruto as his own brother, and Naruto calling him that should not have bothered him that much.

“And? I thought you’d be happy.” 

Kakashi shakes his head and closes his left eye. “He insists that no one told him. He even looked surprised himself.”

Kakashi caused a commotion among those, who knew about them being time-travelers, right after Naruto from their past life appeared in the body of this Naruto two years ago. Kakashi was stressed by that out of his mind, and presented others the whole list of almost threats, to guarantee that the new time-traveler won’t disrupt the peace. He was clearly overreacting, and such restless state lasted, thankfully, for just a day or two, but as far as Itachi knows, none of them has talked to Naruto about the details of how his life had been here before he accidentally interrupted it. 

In that case it could be only one thing.

“Must be his old memories kicking in.”

“His old what?” Kakashi’s eyes were now wide open, looking at Itachi in confusion. “What do you mean, Itachi?”

“The memories of the body he is in. You didn't have it since there was no difference between the memories you had of your previous life and the ones of the body you came to in.”

“Why didn't you tell me it was a thing?!”

Itachi shrugs. “First I didn’t see the importance of it, and when Naruto got here, I figured he would tell you himself if he starts remembering. What would be the point of me raising your hopes up and see you brood waiting for something that might not even happen?” 

“I don’t brood,” Kakashi replies.

“As you say, senpai,” Itachi says ironically and smiles lightly.

“What do you mean by might not happen?”

“Until now I has been fairly convinced it had something to do with Sharingan. Apparently, not.” Kakashi is not answering, looking at his hands on his lap, his left eye closed. Itachi sighs, and puts his hand on Kakashi’s shoulder, squeezing lightly. “Give it time, and soon you will have your Naru-chan back. In addition to your former student one. Two Naruto, double happiness, senpai.”

Kakashi raises his head and looks dumbfoundedly at him.

“Did you just joke, Itachi-kun?”

Itachi lets go of his shoulder and rises up. “I learn from the best.”

~

Itachi may not be able to say the words, but it doesn't mean that he can't show them . He can show them, and this will count for something, Itachi knows. 

Shisui never asks him to talk about his feelings, instead just showers Itachi in the gentle confessions any spare moment, as if he can’t anymore contain it in himself. Itachi doesn’t mind, but with every word he realises that he can’t say the same to him. But Shisui has always been better with words, has always known what to say, has always been open with his feelings, able to understand them and give them voice. They are very different in this. And despite that Shisui will definitely be happy to hear the words of love from Itachi, he never demands, and certainly understands that talking is not Itachi’s way.

So far ― just three days, not that long, but that seemed like almost eternity for Itachi who had never experienced anything like this ― it has always been Shisui who initiated the physical contact, and Itachi just let him. They both know, that while looking like being passive about this choice, it is nothing like that. Itachi has never just  _ let  _ something happen, but he has always been in control. He didn’t just  _ let  _ Sasuke kill him by being passive ― he orchestrated the whole thing, the act of  _ letting  _ was nowhere near giving in to circumstances, it was an active choice, a course of active actions, each of them thought through over and over again.

He didn’t just  _ let _ Shisui touch him, kiss him, make love to him, by doing nothing.  _ Letting _ Shisui act like that is a deliberate choice, the control over Itachi’s own feelings and his own life. And they both know it. They both know that Itachi wouldn’t do anything of a sort if he didn’t want it himself, if he didn’t need it himself.

Itachi heads to Shisui’s house after his shift, knowing that he should be home by now. He doesn’t knock, he never does, and just lets himself in. He hears the shower going off, when he enters the bedroom, and soon enough Shisui walks in. He is wearing sweatpants low on his hips and a tired expression on his face. His hair is still dump, and not yet as curly as usual. He brightens up once he sees Itachi and brushes wet bangs from his face.

“Itachi! I thought you said you planned to spend this night at home?”

“I did, but something occured and now I must talk to you.” Nothing really  _ occurred _ , as the conversation with Kakashi could be hardly considered so. No revelations, Itachi repeats to himself. Nothing’s changed. Not now at least, and not even recently. It has been here for a while now, and even if it is nothing like Shisui expresses it, it is unfair of Itachi not to let him know, to― 

“Oh.”

Apparently it was a poor choice of the words, as Shisui pulls that polite smile on his face that doesn’t quite reach his eyes.

“Shisui, I…” Itachi stumbles, and feels uncomfortable being so not in his element. He knows he is giving Shisui a wrong impression, but it is hard for Itachi to talk about his feelings when he can’t quite understand himself what these feelings are.

“Itachi?”

“I know you are waiting for me to say that I love you and put the same in these words  you are putting in yours when you tell them to me. But you know we are different when it comes to emotions, Shisui.”

“I know, Itachi, and I’m not asking anything of you.” Shisui answers seriously and then licks his lips. He opens his mouth, closes it, and repeats quieter now, “I am not asking anything of you, Itachi…”

“I know.” Itachi walks closer to him and brushes wet bangs from his face. They almost instantly fall back and Shisui blinks. “But I want you to know, that if I am not saying all those things you want me to, it doesn’t mean that I don’t feel them in my own way.”

Shisui’s eyes brighten and he reaches for Itachi’s hand, and his thumb brushes against his wrist. “Itachi…” 

Itachi takes a small step bringing them closer, almost chest to chest. A drop of water slides from Shisui’s hair and falls down, resting in the dip of his collarbone. Itachi leans in and swaps it with his tongue. Shisui’s breath hitches, and Itachi traces the line of his neck with his lips.

“Itachi…”

Shisui’s arms wrap around Itachi’s waist, pressing him closer, and Itachi licks the soft skin behind Shisui’s ear.

“Oh, Itachi…”

He raises his head and locks his eyes with Shisui’s, while hooking his thumbs under the waistband of Shisui’s pants and starting to tug them down. Shisui breathes out shakily and Itachi feels his warm breath on his lips, when he leans in.

“I love you, Itachi. I love you…”

Itachi can feel the words more than actually hear them, and he crosses the remaining distance to kiss Shisui’s half open lips.

Shisui is warm, and not, and soft, and hard and everything Itachi wants right now, and he doesn’t feel the need to suppress a moan when Shisui’s tongue slides in Itachi’s mouth.

_ I know. I love you too. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, since I switched from freelance to full-time, I will now have significantly less time, and updates will be coming slower. Next 4 chapters are 70% done, but the most pain-in-the-ass parts are missing, so I can't actually guarantee anything, but I'll do my best to post the next chapter in a week or two. And after that one there will be 3-chapters-long arc "Kakashi's secret" (fucking finally, right? The name might change tho, cuz this one sounds kinda lame).


	23. Memories ARC. #1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Initially it was supposed to be just one chapter, but I'm splitting it into 2 tiny ones, cause I don't have brain power this weekend to finish it, and this way you'll at least have some update.
> 
> Unbetaed yet
> 
> Also, if you enjoy this fic, please take a look at [this one](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15162056) as well. I write it differently, but it has the same notion, as our favorite Naruto characters having smth they were stripped off in canon. It is called _Words That Were Never Said_ and the title pretty much says it all. Thank you.

##  The future will soon be a thing of the past

“...How do you know that, Naruto?

“What do you mean? You were there, don’t you remember?”

“Yes, but  _ you _ are not supposed to know that.”

“Why not?”

“Because it happened when you were eight.” 

“Yeah, so what?”

“You got here when you were twelve, Naruto.” 

“Wait…”

**~**

Minato is rubbing his tired eyes for the second time reading the document in front of him and tries not to think about the piles of papers he needs to go through before the day is over, when Kakashi slips through the window of the Hokage office, drops himself in the chair in front of Minato and makes oh too familiar signals with his eyes toward the two ANBU guards in the corner, who right now are hesitating whether they should do something against the uninvited intruder, or it is better to stay away considering the identity of the said intruder.

Minato has some reserves about Kakashi appearing like that in his office considering the previous experience, but he sighs and gestures to the guards to leave.

“Again?!” He asks as soon as they are alone. “Who now?”

He really hopes it is not Obito or Sasuke. It wouldn’t find him unprepared, but the possibility still feels highly unpleasant. With Kakashi and Itachi they have planned their actions in case of Obito or Sasuke appearing as time-travellers too. Minato has to admit he rather dislikes those plans. 

At first Minato didn’t want to involve Itachi in that, knowing how deeply he cared about his otouto ― Minato doubted Itachi would approve of any of their ideas. It was Kakashi who insisted on letting Itachi know, and to Minato’s surprise Itachi’s suggestions were even more harsh than Kakashi’s. Neither of them consisted actually killing Sasuke, all to Minato’s relief ― and for a short moment he had a disturbing thought whether it was simply because they knew they would not be  _ able  _ to ― but what Itachi offered was hardly better than that. It was unsettling to hear, and even more so, because Minato could sense that the mere thought that something like this might happen, was highly distressing for Itachi.  

Kakashi didn’t directly agree, but he wasn’t arguing either, and that made Minato wonder again of what kinds of atrocities these men had to witness and were forced to commit in their past, that they spoke so casually about the possibility of Sasuke, on the chance of him dying in that other reality and appearing here after that, attempting to destroy the village as his first course of action here.

For Minato it is unimaginable. Even after having Itachi tell him what happened between him and Sasuke, Minato is still having a hard time believing that this though edgy but sweet young boy, who has been his son’s best friend pretty much since the year they were born, could be the same person as the one from Kakashi and Itachi’s tales. 

On the other hand, there is Obito as well, and Kakashi has been more reluctant to speak about him, but Minato has a general impression.

Yes, Minato has a general impression of the world the three time travellers had to live in, and he doesn’t like it a single bit. And despite appreciating the value of this “time-travel” for people from it, he is not looking forward to having more of those people here. It might be selfish, he has to admit, but it’s not like he can help it.

So he is bracing himself for Kakashi’s answer, before he registers how the man practically drapes himself at the chair’s back, a smile readable through the thin fabric of his mask. 

“What would you say, sensei, if I tell you, that we can have two Naruto for the price of one?”

Kakashi has definitely rehearsed it, he just looks way too smug, awaiting Minato’s answer, and Minato is not sure what answer it will be. Two Naruto? As the current one and the one, Minato raised?

“I am not sure this village can handle more than one Naruto, to tell you the truth,” he tries for a joke, tilting a brow in question.

“Don’t worry, sensei, they will be nicely fit into one,” Kakashi chuckles and leans forward, setting an elbow on the desk and propping his chin in his hand.

Minato contemplates tilting another brow, but then he looks at all the paperwork awaiting him, and sighs tiredly. “I appreciate you having a thing for drama, Kakashi, but I have work to do, and if you don’t tell me exactly what is happening now, I will make you sit here with me all day and help me read through all these extremely boring documents.”

“Maa, sensei, no need for that.” Kakashi eye-smiles and lifts his hands in defeat. 

“Then spit it out.”

“Yeah, yeah, I was about to.” Kakashi tugs his mask down and smiles. “He is gaining the memories of this body back. He will soon remember his life here as it was his own. I am not sure how he will handle two sets of memories, but I am confident he will be fine.”

“He will remember his childhood?” Minato asks in almost a whisper, and Kakashi nods.

“Yes. I know we decided not to treat him any differently, and no matter the world, or time, he is still your son, and still the same Naruto, but…”

But we missed him, Minato knows Kakashi wants to say. And it’s the truth, and there is probably nothing selfish in them being eager to once again be able to share some of the memories they both made with Naruto before his mind was overwritten. But what Minato now is most happy about, and what Kakashi probably hasn’t paid a mind to ― most certainly unintentionally, because for him the Naruto how he is now is someone he knew long before he appeared here, but Minato had to get to know him from the scratch ― is that they won’t be the ones who this will have the most effect on.

“I am happy for him,” he says with a smile and notices when short-lived confusion on Kakashi face at these words gives place to understanding. “He will finally have the childhood he’s always needed.”

Kakashi closes his left eye and slowly pulls the mask on its place. He looks down, but Minato can see that he is definitely smiling when he answers quietly,

“Yes, sensei, he will.”

**~**

As always when it comes to Naruto the process of gaining back the memories is neither slow nor considerate for him. Unlike how it was for Itachi, who was getting his memories slowly and steadily and having more than enough time to adjust each of them to his mindscape and adjust himself to them, Naruto’s memories seem to be hitting him like a fist in a face, as if trying to compensate for almost two years when he’s had no clue about what life the body he is occupying led before he basically invaded it.

They hit him in groups and, from how Itachi sees it, when he least expects, and, as it is always with Naruto, each time he produces the whole spectrum of emotional reactions, that Itachi finds quite interesting to watch, when they are not aimed at him. 

Unfortunately his luck eventually runs out and during the training match Naruto has talked him into after nagging him for days, Naruto suddenly stops in the middle of the move, kunai falling from his fingers, and stares blankly in front of him. Itachi recognises the reaction as another one of Naruto’s memories settling in his mind, and just waits it out, planning to continue their sparring as soon as Naruto’s flashback is over.

Except that when it’s over, Naruto’s eyes slide to look at him and Itachi is surprised to see the beginning of tears in them. Naruto takes a few steps toward him and stops, looking at Itachi with teary eyes and a wobbling smile.

Itachi has no idea what particular memory just forced its way into Naruto’s mind, and doesn’t really care, especially considering that it can’t be anything bad, judging by Naruto’s clearly happy face  ― not that Itachi  _ did _ something bad, but who knows how Naruto could interpret some of his prior actions. Naruto takes another step closer to him, and reaches his hand to Itachi’s arm. He wraps his fingers around it, and starts shifting on his feet, all along not tearing his eyes from Itachi’s. The tears are now a constant stream on his face, but he is grinning widely.

“Itachi!..”

Itachi has no clue what it is he did that now causes so much adoration from Naruto’s side ― the look in his eyes is a bit like Sasuke was looking at him when he was younger. But he is used to see this on Sasuke’s face, and it is normal for him. He is not used to someone else ― except for Shisui as well, but that is different ― looking at him with such amount of affection.

Naruto’s grip on Itachi’s arm is trembling, and Naruto himself is almost jumping on his spot, and Itachi is not a monster, he really is not. He loves kids, in fact, not only because of Sasuke, but because kids are pure, and he likes watching this unstained light coming from them, and now Naruto before him is just a kid that once got impressed with something Itachi did, and despite Itachi preferring to keep his distance from pretty much everyone, he watched Naruto grow up side by side with Sasuke, and he now has a pretty good idea of what Naruto wants to do.

“Alright,” he sighs, and puts his hand on top of Naruto’s head. “Just this once,” he says, and Naruto beams, but doesn’t move more than he is already fidgeting and wobbling on his feet, waiting for the final permission. “You can hug me, if you want.”

The last of the phrase Itachi says in the messy blond hair, when Naruto all but throws himself at him, squishing him in the deadly grip of his arms. Itachi sighs again, and turns his head to get Naruto’s hair out of his mouth ― both him and Sasuke have visibly grown this year, pretty much being almost the height they were when he met both of their sixteen year-olds. 

Naruto is soaking Itachi’s shirt with happy tears and clinging to him the same way Sasuke did when he was younger. Itachi suspects the only thing that keeps Sasuke from this now is his stubborn belief that grown up men don’t cuddle. Itachi respects his choice and just smiles lightly when he sees the battle in Sasuke’s eyes between a kid that wants to be closer to his niisan and a teenager that wants to be independent.

Itachi doesn’t know what it is that Naruto just remembered, and generally is not sure what to do with crying people. But he is good with children, even if this particular child is actually a twenty-year-old man most of the time.

He pats the blond hair gently, getting a happy squeal in response, and envelops Naruto with his other hand, softly stroking his back. 

The sounds coming from Naruto change, and he is sniffing less happily, now crying at his earnest, and Itachi just holds him, giving him this moment to let the significance of his new memories sink in, because Itachi knows, that despite being happy ones, such memories just serve as a reminder of what he didn’t have the first time around, of what he missed both then and now. And he knows there will be more moments like that, with Naruto crying and smiling through tears, and Itachi is sure, not just him, but Naruto’s parents and Kakashi and Obito will have their clothings soaked with Naruto’s tears before Naruto finally remembers it all.

And this is good, and this is right. And despite that Itachi himself can’t feel as deep and as bright as Naruto does, he is happy for him. Because if someone deserves to have this happily ever after, it is this boy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be from Naruto's pov and we'll see what kinds of new memories he is getting. I'm aiming for smth touchy-feely


	24. Memories ARC. #2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was writing this chapter during lunch breaks at work so this probably has a shitton of typos and inconsistencies and my two betas helped themselves out of this fic so pls ignore all the sloppy places in this chapter =)
> 
> UPD. I gave this chapter a quick read and corrected some obvious typos. And the whole thing is surprisingly better than I expected it to be considering the circumstances I wrote it in xD

## Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.

“Ugh, that’s so gross!”

“Maa, I see you got a new memory today, Naruto.”

“Gross, Kakashi! You should close the door when you are doing  _ stuff _ !” 

“Ah, it’s that one. It’s called sex, Naruto, not stuff. What are you, twelve?”

“Yeah, yeah, laugh it up. And I’m almost fourteen. Well, technically.”

“You should’ve knocked before barging in, Naru-chan. Because of you I now can’t have sex while you are in the house.”

“Good! Will serve you a lesson. I will need to thank Obito for trying to preserve my innocent mind from more shock. “

“We both know you are anything but innocent. And I didn’t choose to see you and Sasuke at it either, Naruto. Now we are even.”

“Oh god, you still remember that?!”

“Unfortunately I do.”

“You shouldn’t have seen that!”

“I wish I hadn’t.”

“Ugh, I hate you, Kashi-nii!”

“I love you too, Naru-chan.”

~

Apparently Naruto’s memories have as little patience as Naruto himself, so after a month of wavelike process of forcing their way into his mind, the rest of them ― and this by no means imply that this “rest” is the smallest part of them ― decide to finish this once and for all. So one day when he is standing in the kitchen the early morning and trying to yawn away the sleepiness, while watching the kettle slowly heating up the water inside, he blinks, his vision suddenly gets blurry for a short moment, and all the remaining memories rush into his mind.

He freezes in the middle of an inhale, gasps, and his hand flies to cover his mouth, like he is afraid of the sounds that can come out of it. His eyes are wide, and he starts not really crying, but spilling the flows of tears from his eyes. They flow down his cheeks and onto his hand, and he feels the salt on his lips where some managed to slip between the fingers on his mouth. He takes a few shaky steps back until his back hits the wall, and all but slides down it, because his legs refuse to hold him.

For a short second he is happy that his parents left before him today, and they are not witnessing this, not getting worried over his uncontrolled sobs and occasional almost hysterical hiccups. And after another second he doesn’t think about it anymore because there is suddenly just too many other things he is thinking about.

By coincidence or according to some system, he’s already gotten most of the memories from the last several years, and only a few from when he was a child. And now those remaining memories of him being a kid here rush in his mind, and to say it is overwhelming, is not to come even close to how it feels for him.

They overlap one another, appearing in groups, but each is bright and vivid for enough moments to fully grasp the feel of them before they slightly fade away by the weight of years passed since the events.

...There is a memory of him waking up from a nightmare in Sasuke’s house. He is about seven years old then, and he is scared from something he saw in his dream. He is hiccuping through nervous tears, Sasuke crawls to him, black eyes are wide in fear, and after a moment they both are crying. 

It is absurd to see Sasuke cry. As much as to see him smile actually. It is absurd to have experienced such moment of Sasuke being so sympathetic toward his emotional state, that he actually shared it. They both are seven or maybe eight back then, and in Naruto’s past at this age Sasuke was already that cold boy with rough edges and his face a mask that hid all the pain under it. In the past, at this age, Naruto already had years of experience living alone and being hated by everyone for the reasons he didn’t understand. The boy back then would not cry so easily in front of someone, he would never show anyone this part of him that was so vulnerable, scared and lonely. 

The boy in this memory now, both boys, in fact, are just two little kids, that grew in loving families. These are kids, that could trust each other. That could have a childhood and sit like that, in the middle of the night, holding hands and crying like little babies, because one of them saw a scary dream.

They are not alone for too long, Itachi is by their side, and Sasuke grabs his brother by an arm, and the last thing Naruto now remembers from that night, is a pair of red eyes and the feeling of being somewhere safe, and seeing something nice and bright and funny, that lulls him to sleep, Sasuke by his side, ridding him of all the remaining stress after seeing a nightmare.

It is already the second time Naruto sees Itachi using his Mangekyou. How many times has it actually been since Itachi appeared in this world? How many times is needed for his sight to start deteriorating? Itachi has never thought about his own well being, Naruto won’t be surprised if the man is half blind already. It is unsettling, and he makes a mental note to speak with him about it. And if ― when ― it doesn’t work, he will go to Shisui…

...There is a memory of a family trip ― and how did his father even found time from being a Hokage with all the obligations this job brings to spend a whole weekend with his family on the shore of some small but beautiful lake? 

It is a family trip, so there is not only Naruto’s parents there, but also Kakashi, Obito and Rin. And Naruto is young then. He is very young, and he doesn’t know how old exactly he is, but his mother is holding him under his armpits in the water, because he is too small to be able to swim by himself, and he watches as Kakashi, Obito and his dad are playing tag on the beach. Kakashi is not wearing his mask, and he looks ridiculous with his wet hair plastered to his face. But he is laughing, and Naruto can count on the fingers of one hand the times he’s seen Kakashi laugh, and maybe here the man just finds funny how Minato, being the oldest of them all, being a father to Naruto and a father figure to both Obito and Kakashi, and no less but the  _ Hokage _ of the village, is running around with them like a child. 

Or perhaps it is because Obito is here too, body healthy and uninjured and face relaxed and handsome, without the weight of grief on it, without ugly scars, but a wide grin. 

Or maybe it is because of Rin, who is sitting on the side, laughing at the sight of them, her eyes are glistening with a couple of happy tears that appear when you laugh just a bit too long. And Naruto can hear his own laughter echoing hers, and his mother is attacking the top of his head with kisses, and he can see his own short hands with chubby little fingers reaching forward to his family…

...There is a memory, when after seeing a bad dream, he runs to his parents’ bedroom in the middle of the night, and he has to push himself up on his hands to be able to climb in their bed ― that bed, that now is just a bit higher than his knee. His parents wake up when he squeezes himself between them, and they sooth him with little kisses on his cheeks, and he fast to fall asleep again, safe and warm in his parents embrace, the familiar scents of them that surrounds him like a cocoon. And it is home, his safe place, his most dearest people, and he wonders if that what it means to have someone related by blood to him, and it feels good and at that moment he doesn’t know the meaning of the word ‘lonely’...

...And there is another one, when he is not at home, but at Hatake’s, and it is all the same ― running in the middle of the night to the adults’ bedroom, climbing on it, waking them up by trying to squeeze himself under Obito’s arms that is lying across Kakashi’s chest. And Obito just grumbles in his sleep, but Kakashi wakes up, and helps Naruto under the blanket, and presses his nose to the back of Naruto’s head, and Naruto giggles quietly because he finds it funny how his niichan often sniffs him like a dog, but he doesn’t mind. And Obito, still asleep, puts his arm around Naruto protectively, and Naruto might not be related by blood to them, but he feels as safe and loved here as he feels with his parents, and it is also a home…

...There is a memory of Jiraiya, and another wave of tears almost drowns Naruto, and he has to put his other hand around his mouth. Because the last time he saw Jiraiya was back then in his first life. And Naruto knows that here the Sennin is alive, but he is just away, and Naruto hasn’t seen him here, but he misses him so much, because the old man almost replaced Naruto a father during those few years when they travelled together, and he is also a family...

...There are memories of Sasuke, so many of them, because they basically grew up together, and Naruto feels almost dizzy trying to make sense of them all now rushing through his mind. 

He remembers how after learning about Kakashi and Obito’s engagement he declared to his father that he was going to marry Sasuke when he is older, now, since he discovered that boys can marry each other  [ too ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12684795/chapters/29743641) . And he feels so embarrassed by it now, and he chuckles through tears at those naive and simple words he said so easily when he was a kid, and he lets himself entertain the idea for a short moment... 

He remembers Sasuke complaining that Itachi grew distant, and now Naruto knows that it was when Itachi time-traveled here and the man was trying to make sense of this new world...

He remembers many sleepovers he spent with Sasuke, and their promises to protect each other from nightmares if adults are not around. He remembers Itachi before  _ and  _  after that point when it was not this Itachi but the one from Naruto’s first life. And this latter one might be more on guard and have fewer smiles to spare, but the warmth in his eyes when he is looking at his otouto is the same... 

He remembers his first fight with Sasuke, the serious one, though Naruto would argue with the seriousness of it now having had so many fights with Sasuke before that were really life threatening to the both of them. 

Sasuke is not greedy. He lets Naruto use his toys and sleep on his futon. He lets him snatch pieces of food from his plate when Naruto is done with his, and gives him his clothes, when Naruto stains his own with dirt by being a bit too energetic with everything he does. Sasuke isn’t greedy and he shares everything with Naruto. He doesn’t even mind when Naruto hugs Itachi. As long as Itachi just stays Itachi for Naruto.

Naruto remembers their first fight now. They are hardly five back then and Naruto has always had a big heart.

“Itachi-nii!”

That is the first time he and Sasuke beat each other up. Or more like Sasuke attempts to beat Naruto. It is nothing serious, they are too little, and both Itachi and Kakashi are fast to drag them away from one another.

That’s when Naruto learns that Itachi is allowed to have only one otouto. No other little boys, be it even Sasuke’s best friend, are allowed to call Itachi like that.

Naruto laughs at the memory. He laughs and thinks he definitely should attempt this again, if only to see Itachi’s surprised face and frustration on Sasuke’s one, because Naruto knows, his friend now would consider this injuring his reputation to start a fight over something so silly. 

There are memories of Kakashi, and Obito, and Rin. They are all there for him, along with his parents, every moment of his life, every day of his childhood. 

Obito is like him, obnoxious, loud and with the heart that can fill the whole world inside. And Naruto has known this already after the two years he’s spent here. But in these new-old memories Obito is also serious and attentive and not in the way his heart-broken version was in Naruto’s first life, but older-brother serious, listening to little Naruto’s silly thoughts and ideas. And there is warmth in his eyes, the similar one as in Itachi’s eyes when the Uchiha is looking at Sasuke. There is love and care. 

Obito is there for him when Naruto comes up with a new mischief, and they do it together, as if there is no age difference between them, and they get scolded by Minato as equals, and Obito is his friend. 

Obito is there when Naruto itches to learn a new jutsu or a few tricks to beat Sasuke in taijutsu, and Obito trains him patiently and says  _ You did good  _ and  _ I am proud of you _ when Naruto succeeds, and at these times he is Naruto’s sensei. 

And Obito is there, when Naruto is too embarrassed to go to his father or Kakashi with a silly thought of  _ Sasuke is so pretty and he smells so good, do you think he thinks I’m pretty too?,  _ and Obito is his older brother then when he says  _ I’m sure he does,  _ and he never laughs at Naruto. 

And he is there when Naruto declares that he will become a Hokage when he grows up, and Obito grins and says that the next Hokage will be him, and Naruto will have to wait, and in this moment he is Naruto’s rival, and this is fine, because it is good to know that someone older and stronger than him considers him a competition.  

Obito is everything and even more than Naruto ever hoped to have when he was day-dreaming of how nice it would be to have an older brother. Or at least someone.

But there is Kakashi too. It is the same Kakashi Naruto has known since he was twelve for the first time. He is the same, but also different. He gives him those eye smiles when Naruto calls him Kakashi-nii, but in these memories Naruto can now see how before the man’s eyes close something that looks like guilt or regret flickers in them, and Naruto knows that these moments that Kakashi spends with him as his family might be as valuable for him as they are now for Naruto. 

Naruto wonders if their lives would turn out differently if Kakashi found courage and strength in him to if not adopt but just be there for Naruto as a friend when Naruto was a little lonely boy. Would it make it easier for the both of them, would it help to fill those empty spaces in their hearts, or would they just remind each other of something ― someone ― they both had lost? 

Naruto wonders if Kakashi thinks of it too and he hopes he is not, because those twelve years Kakashi was there for him, in Naruto’s eyes compensate it all.

It is Kakashi who insists of Naruto befriending Sasuke, even though their mothers are friends, they don’t meet that often, and Kakashi takes it upon himself to bring little Naruto to the Uchiha’s house, nags his way into Itachi’s personal space making him untangle his otouto from him, who is more often than not is hanging from his niisan like a little monkey. Naruto plays with Sasuke, while Kakashi is being his usual annoying self with Itachi, making him open up to him outside their usual roles within  their ANBU team. 

Itachi was also alone, Naruto realises. Back then when he was forced to accept that decision that led to so many deaths and broken lives, he was alone in that. And in these memories Naruto now sees it as Kakashi being there for him as well.

It turned out to be completely unnecessary when that Itachi gave place to the Itachi from their past lives, but Naruto thinks now, that Itachi should’ve probably gained those memories as well, the memories where he had friends outside that little bubble he has with Shisui. 

Itachi smiles in Naruto’s memories. He is so young there, with eyes big, smart and attentive as usual, but at the same time somewhat childishly naive. He might be a genius, but he still was a child one day. And seeing him like this feels like peeking into something that Itachi wouldn’t want to let anyone see. 

The memories rush through Naruto’s mind and it almost seems like looking at someone else’s life through their eyes, except that he knows that it is him there, having this almost ideal life he has always dreamt of.

In these memories he is never lonely. He is always fed. He never has to seek attention, because he always has it. He is loved and appreciated and he shares this love with all his dear people.

And the touches. There are so many of them. 

He would probably never admit it out loud but he has craved touches all his life. This was one thing he and Sasuke were really on one page with. The boy, who got to know a loving touch and let the only person he trusted and admired the most so close, that after his betrayal had never let anyone else even near him. And the boy for whom all physical contacts with people were lazy kicks and firm hands on the collar of his shirt.

They were both starved when they finally got to physical aspect of their relationship. It was not simply sex for them but a way to satisfy this deep craving for a feel of someone else’s hands on their bodies. But they both had spent too many years without it, and perhaps that’s why neither of them knew the difference between soft caress and a browsing grip. 

It always hurt, for both of them. But it was better than nothing.

And when he got sent into this body, in this new past two years ago, he very soon found himself surrounded by so much attention and love, that it was overwhelming for him. 

He couldn’t understand it at first. He didn’t know how to react and process the soft kisses on his cheeks his mother gave him, tight embraces from Obito, or reassuring pats on the back from his father who looked at him with  _ ‘I am proud of you’  _ in his eyes. Sasuke, who didn’t try to beat the life out of him, but grabbed his hand easily to lead him somewhere, like it was a normality for them, and then clinged to him in his sleep, making Naruto going almost crazy. Itachi, who poked his forehead in the same confusing but affectionate gesture he used for his otouto. 

It was all unfamiliar and strange, and he had to get used to it without trying to understand it. Now though, with all these new-old memories settling in his mind, it all suddenly starts to make sense. Having loving parents, family, friends, suddenly starts to become more natural for him. And at the same time he still remembers his childhood as the Jinchuuriki, with all the loneliness of it. And the contrast between two lives ― his own lives! ― is startling.

Naruto doesn’t know how long he stays like that, sitting on the kitchen floor soaking his clothes in tears. He probably falls asleep at some point, exhausted, and he jerks awake when he hears the front door open.

He stands up, wobbles on his feet and grabs the side of the kitchen counter to gain his balance. He waits till the pins and needles stop running up and down his legs, and walks to the sink to wash away the remains of tears from his face. He doesn’t find a towel and just wipes the water off with his sleeve. 

He hears someone entering the kitchen and turns around to see his mother standing in the doorway looking at him worriedly.

“What happened, sweety?”

He crosses the distance between them and hugs her tightly.

“It’s fine, kaachan,” he says and smiles. He tightens his grip around his mother’s waist and she laughs lightly and ruffles his hair. “Everything is fine now.”

Kushina hums but doesn’t comment, and Naruto feels her soft quiet laughter in his hair and she starts planting small kisses on the top of his head. It is almost like in that memory when he was barely a toddler, held in her arms in the water, and like in many other memories from his childhood here, that he lost the count of, but all of them are filled with love, and in all of them he has his precious people by his side.

And it is so easy to feel like a child now, despite being over twenty years old, despite going through the horrible war and having lost everything he held dear, despite being through too much, despite seeing his friends die, despite dying himself, despite all of that, now, in his mother’s warm embrace he feels like a child again. Not the lonely orphan, but the one he is now in his memories.

He feels like a child that has everything and more. 

His mother cradles his face in her palms, looks in his eyes and smiles even wider.

“Welcome back, sweety. Welcome home.”

A tear runs down his cheek and he laughs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next arc -- Kakashi's secret (the title might change). I plan for 3 chapters there. They are 50% written, so this shouldn't take forever


	25. Kakashi's secret ARC. #1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter for the sake of fast update. Unbetaed.
> 
> Lots of NaruSasu feels in the beginning :D
> 
> Also: 300+ subscribers, holy shit! <3

##  Those who dance are considered insane by those who can't hear the music

Naruto wakes up from a nightmare that thankfully fades away the same instant he opens his eyes, and makes a series of quiet slow inhales and exhales waiting for his startled heart to soothe down to its normal rhythm. He glances at the wall and squints, trying to discern the hands of the clock in the dim moonlight coming from the window. It’s only about three, and he still has a few more hours to sleep, but tonight is the full moon, and he fully blames his restless sleep on it ― less because of any influence the moon cycle can really have and more because of the imagery of the big bright circle in the night sky that brings up too many disturbing memories.

He looks to the side where Sasuke is sleeping on his futon across the room. It is much farther now than how they used to have their sleeping arrangements, but at some point Naruto decided to put an end to Sasuke’s unconscious crawlings to his side at nights, after he realised his teenage body can no longer handle such close proximity of someone he used to be having much  _ much  _ closer and with significantly less clothing involved. 

Being a teenager again is harder than he thought at first it could be. He already has to adjust to the growing spurt he got earlier this year, and learn to ignore the constant dull pain in his muscles stretching around his growing bones. He doesn’t remember having this problem the first time around. Perhaps having Kurama’s chakra inside him might have had something to do with it.

And now there is this entirely different problem of Sasuke being all adorable and all around him on the everyday basis, and it’s not that he minds ― he really doesn’t ― but it is getting harder and harder ― in more than one sense of this word ― to ignore what, or more like who, his mind  _ and _ now his body wants, while trying to convince himself that neither his previous experience with another version of Sasuke, nor the experience he now remembers he’s had with this Sasuke, mean that he might act on his desires. Sasuke is barely fifteen, and Naruto is twenty one in a fourteen-year-old body, and it might be  _ weird _ , and as Naruto didn’t know how Sasuke really felt about him in the first life, neither can he be sure about this Sasuke. 

Sure, they are friends. Sure, Sasuke smiles to him with this carefree smile and sparkles in his eyes, frying several neurons in Naruto’s brain everytime he does that, forcing him to choke on happy tears he has to hold from spilling from his eyes, because even obtaining the memories of this life Naruto still muses at the enormous difference between two Sasukes he knows, and he thinks he will never have enough. But he doesn’t know if for Sasuke it is just ‘friendship’, or ‘friendship that is like brothers’, or a ‘friendship that has a potential to grow into something’.

So for now Naruto is more than happy to just watch his friend from the side as some kind of a marvel, but his body is stupid and it notices only that Sasuke has grown and looks  _ almost _ like the one it used to have very close acquaintance with, and it demands more and doesn’t listen to any argument, and so Naruto solves the problem by simply increasing the distance between him and the target of his body’s strong affection. 

It doesn’t really make it much easier, but at least it helps to avoid any possible awkward situation that might occur if Sasuke kept draping himself over Naruto’s sleeping form more often than not. 

He had to even give Sasuke his favorite hugging pillow ― the huge fluffy thing Naruto now remembers his mom gave him when he was little and his parents tried to make him start sleeping in his own bed rather than with them. It was bigger than Naruto back then, and there is a print of numerous small [narutos](https://www.quora.com/What-does-the-Japanese-word-naruto-mean) on its surface. He loves the thing, it was comfy to hug it in his sleep, and now he had to contribute it towards the mighty goal of not having to choose between reason and conscience every morning after Sasuke is having a sleepover at his place, and Naruto spends a few unpleasant minutes in the bathroom trying to find a way to deal with a problem in his pants that would include neither freezing shower, nor jerking off to the image of his fifteen-year-old friend. 

He is annoyed every time he can’t see any third option except for combining the two, and after getting enough of this mental pain, he simply shoved Sasuke off of him in the middle of the nigth a few months ago, Sasuke’s futon ― to the opposite wall, and his favorite pillow ― in Sasuke’s dumbfounded face, who groaned at first in annoyance without even opening his eyes and then grabbed the pillow with all four of his limbs, pressed his face in it and fell asleep the same second. Naruto has been wondering if in the haze of sleep Sasuke thinks the pillow to be Naruto. It sure smells like him. He prefers not to think about it for too long though.

The things you do for love… Ludicrous.

He thinks that he might be overthinking, and he is pretty convinced, that if Kakashi got a wind of his problem, he would say that he is _definitely_ overthinking, and would probably laugh at him. But it sure is not his fault that Sasuke now looks more innocent at his fifteen than the Sasuke from Naruto’s first life looked when he was barely even ten. 

Naruto turns on his side and puts his head on his bent arm, watching Sasuke’s relaxed face. Dark eyelashes flicker a bit as the boy is dreaming of something, and his breathing is coming steady through the half opened mouth. A strand of hair lies across his face and trembles slightly with every exhale. 

His hair is longer now, and he looks a bit older like that. The decision to grow it definitely has everything to do with Itachi, but Naruto is not sure how much of it is also an attempt to brag about his shinobi skills ― not every shinobi could allow themselves to have long hair, as it could be used against them in a fight ― and how much is just  sheer admiration for his brother. Naruto has no strong opinion about either of the reasons, but the hairstyle itself reminds him of the last time he saw Sasuke before dying ― he wasn’t growing it deliberately, but just didn’t bother for haircuts during the last two years of war. 

Naruto is not sure what to feel about this resemblance.

With the lack of colors in the dark of a night, the contrast between raven hair and almost white skin is stunning. The light of the full moon is falling on Sasuke’s skin making it look like it almost shines from within.

He is stupidly beautiful. So much more than when his features were weighted by an ever present sorrow and hate that were rooted too deep in his bones. He looks almost delicate without a crease between his eyebrows, and when he is not sleeping, the look in his eyes, while as sharp as Naruto is used to see on him, is not soaked with grief and loathing. 

This Sasuke has never known loss and is raised with love. This Sasuke is not driven mad by grief, Itachi's Tsukuyomi and Orochimaru's mark.

It is a miracle and a privilege to get to know the Sasuke who didn't lose his sanity. 

And it is even easier to fall in love with him.

Naruto wonders if that's how Kakashi feels when he looks at Obito. He wonders, if after the years it has gotten any less of a novelty for him, any less of a marvel to be looking at the person he dedicated his whole life to, and who used to be a broken shell filled with pain and hatred, and don't see any murderous intent in the dark eyes. 

And isn't it comforting enough? Isn't it that healing they both needed over the numerous wounds on their souls caused by the people they loved? Then why does Kakashi looks so weary when he thinks no one can see him? Why he is just that tiny inch not as entirely happy as Naruto supposes he should be? 

And come to think of it, everything they have now, every life saved, they all owe it to Kakashi. Naruto doesn’t know many details of what Kakashi did, but he is endlessly grateful for every single one of it. Naruto has said his thanks to both Kakashi and Itachi, but somehow it never felt enough. Just empty words, that got nothing against this whole life he now has a chance to live surrounded by his precious people.

He turns to lie on his back and stares at the ceiling. There was that moment of accomplishment when he talked Itachi into giving Shisui a chance. Itachi’s face has always been impossible to read, at least for him, and he can’t say for sure, but Itachi does seem less uptight since he and Shisui got together, he seems a bit more alive, a bit more warm when Naruto sees him with Shisui. A bit less on guard. It makes Naruto think that he too managed to do something good for his fellow time-traveler. 

One down, one more to go. Afterall, those four months, he promised Kakashi not to bother him, ended several months ago, Naruto was just way too busy trying to adjust to the new set of memories, to bother about him.

Having made a decision, Naruto slips from his futon silently, throws a glance at Sasuke to make sure the boy is still asleep, and exits the room, not bothering to change from his pajamas. 

Obito is away on a mission and Kakashi is probably not sleeping and wandering around the house like a creep he is. Now, having another full set of memories of his life here, Naruto remembers that until a few years ago his father tried not to send Obito on missions without Kakashi, but either he now thinks that Kakashi got over his endless worry for his husband, or he, like Naruto now had already had enough of Kakashi’s sulking. Besides, with Kakashi working in T&I he and Obito rarely can have a mission together.

Naruto sneaks from the house and quickly reaches the Hatake compound. The lights are off, and for a moment he thinks that perhaps Kakashi is asleep, but after a quick tour of the house, Naruto discovers with surprise, that not only Kakashi is not wandering around like a creep, but he is not even  _ in  _ the house, despite it being already three in the night, which means that he is being even more of a creep somewhere else. 

Naruto curses under his breath, wondering if it’s socially acceptable to express his sincere gratitudes to the man and scold him senseless in the same sentence, but in any case, that conversation has been a long time coming and perhaps now it is time to finally deliver that kick to Kakashi’s ass that Naruto probably should’ve delivered as soon as he got here more than two years ago. In his defense, there has been a lot of diverting factors that hasn’t allowed him to think too long about the nature of Kakashi’s sullen mood, that appears from time to time. But he intends to do something for Kakashi for everything he’s done, and if this means delivering his gratefulness along with the infamous  [ Konohagakure Hiden Secret Taijutsu Technique ](http://naruto.wikia.com/wiki/One_Thousand_Years_of_Death) and his boot up Kakashi’s ass, then that’s how Naruto is going to do it. 

He is not wearing boots now, so Thousand Years of Death it is then. It is all for Kakashi’s sake after all. The man will thank him later, he is sure of it.

He activates the Sage Mode and after a few seconds of search he finds Kakashi’s chakra signature at the edge of the Third Training Ground.

_ You can’t be serious,  _ he thinks to himself while jumping along the rooftops, and decides to assume that Kakashi is probably doing some warm ups as a way to fight his insomnia. The assumption sounds weak even in Naruto’s mind, and when he lands a few meters from Kakashi’s hunched figure standing in front of the Memorial Stone, it shatters into million pieces, each of those laughing mockingly at him before disappearing.

_ You can’t be serious, _ Naruto thinks again, drilling his eyes in the back of the man’s head, who doesn’t even stirr, but it doesn’t seem to abate his frustration anyhow so he repeats it out loud.

“You can’t be serious.”


	26. Kakashi's secret ARC. #2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the longer than usual wait, full-time job is no joke =/
> 
> Kakashi's pov in this one, some hints here and there, but you'll have to wait for the next chapter to know for sure what it is that is bothering Kakashi so much.
> 
> Unbetaed.
> 
>  **TRIGGER WARNING!**  
>  There is a mention of suicide with short mention of the way used for that and reference of losing a loved one to suicide. It is nothing detailed, but might upset someone.  
> If you think it'd be better for you to avoid it (it doesn't matter much for the plot), after the line _"He suddenly doesn’t want to hear what Naruto is about to say."_ skip **5** paragraphs. Stay safe  <3

## Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.  

“You can’t be serious.”

Kakashi catches Naruto’s scent closing in long before Naruto lands on the ground behind him, and he only sighs quietly but doesn’t move, when Naruto’s less surprised and more annoyed remark sounds from behind him. 

He knows he is long overdue for Naruto to start bugging him again about him being too serious at times. But he still doesn’t feel he is ready to talk about it. And especially not now, when Obito is away, and Kakashi’s demons are at their cruelest, and he just wants to be left alone at this place that has always managed to bring him comfort. 

“Can we please not do this now, Naruto?” Kakashi says, without turning to the boy. He doesn’t try to sound more optimistic than he feels, hoping that the seriousness, that he lets in in his voice quite rarely, would make Naruto leave. It is fool’s hope, of course.

“We are doing this now.” 

Kakashi sighs, pushes his hands in the pockets and finally turns around. Naruto has his hands on his hips and an angry frown between his eyebrows. It would look more impressive, if he wasn’t bare footed and was wearing something else rather than a pajama. 

“I am honored you wanted to talk to me so much, that you didn’t even have a chance to change your clothes, Naru-chan, but right now is really not the best―” 

“Cut the crap, Kakashi.  What’s with this morbid nostalgia? Their names are not on it.”

“It’s not…” Kakashi trails off and looks back at the Memorial Stone. How could he explain this? These crystal clear memories, that are at the most brightest when he is alone in his house, and it is much easier to believe that Obito is not just away for a mission, but dead, buried under the collapsed cave, or is far somewhere plotting to destroy the whole world, because Kakashi’s hand once thrusted through Rin’s chest, killing her. How can he explain something like that to someone, who’s never had such memories of his own, who is fast to adapt, to bend the situation under his incredible will and always come out as a victor, even in death? “You wouldn’t understand, Naruto.”

“I  _ already  _ don’t understand! Why can’t you take your head out of your ass and look a bit more happier about everything you have here! And maybe stop ignoring what it all costed to us! Even Itachi looks happier than you.  _ Itachi!  _ It is absurd!”

“It is different for Itachi… And I am not ignoring anything, Naruto.” 

“How is it different for Itachi?! He killed his whole clan! He tortured his brother, who is like a fucking sun of his life or something!”

“This has nothing to do with amount of pain we’ve had, Naruto!” Kakashi registers that he raised his voice only when Naruto frowns deeper at his words and takes a few angry steps toward him.  

“What then? Tell me! Why don’t you trust me?!”

“It is not that I don’t trust you, Naruto, it is that you knowing will not change anything.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“Because not all things can be changed!” Kakashi’s voice ― almost scream ― seems too loud in the night forest, and he turns away abruptly, ashamed of losing his calm, now, when he should’ve been prepared for the things Naruto would say. 

He hasn’t been sleeping much last two nights. Obito is away and he’d rather not sleep than wake up in the empty bed, struggling through these first terrifying minutes when he believes that empty it should be and has always been.

It is pathetic, but there is simply nothing that can be done. 

Naruto is silent behind him, and Kakashi turns to him after taking a couple of slow breaths. 

“I want to ask you something,” he says, and Naruto shrugs, looking a bit frustrated but there seem to be no initial anger left in his features. “What happened after…” He cuts himself short and hesitates for a moment. “After I died?”

Naruto looks up at him, holds his gaze and then lowers his eyes. He looks uncomfortable.

“Me and Sasuke managed to kill him,” Naruto answers grimly. “Finally. Didn’t help much as you can see…” He makes a vague gesture toward himself, makes a move to shove his hand in a pocket, but his pajama pants don’t have any, and he kicks the ground in frustration. “Sasuke was rather scary in his vengeful mode. Apparently he respected you more than he showed.”

“I see. Thank you.”

Naruto looks at him with surprise. “That’s a weird thing to be grateful for, you know.”

“No, thank you for telling me.”

“Sure.” Naruto shrugs and points one finger at him. “But if you add this to the reasons of your brooding…”

“That is not brooding.” Kakashi shoves Naruto’s hand away and looks up at the night sky. “Terrible, all those things we had to do and see,” he says absentmindedly and hears Naruto’s annoyed huff.

“I saw some shit too, Kakashi, and it’s been  _ ages  _ for you compare to mine three years! And somehow it is only you who―”

“Because you didn”t―”

“Like hell I didn’t!”

“What―”

“Shut up Kakashi-sensei and listen. If you think you got it bad, than let me tell you what you missed after you died.” Naruto takes a long shaky breath and then lets the air out closing his eyes for a brief moment. He looks too calm, too in control even when he opens them, and Kakashi can’t help but see how artificial this expression is. 

He suddenly doesn’t want to hear what Naruto is about to say.

“He impaled himself on his damn sword, that idiot,” Naruto says quietly avoiding to look at him. Kakashi wants to ask who Naruto is talking about, but a hurt in the depth of his eyes, which he tries to hide by a small awkward smile is the answer by itself. “Said he fought alongside me while there was a point in that, and since everyone…” Naruto cuts himself off and breathes out heavily. He sniffs several times and swallows ― probably the tears he doesn’t allow to show in his eyes. He is still smiling, but it is just a meaningless tilt of his lips, and it’s the most grim Kakashi has ever seen him. “Long story short, he said he wanted at least to chose how to die, like Itachi did. So he shoved his sword through his neck. No idea what he was thinking. Maybe that he didn’t deserve a normal seppuku.” 

Kakashi feels his blood freezing in his body, it is almost physically painful to see the strain Naruto puts on himself to keep his expression under control. Kakashi wishes he didn’t feel that he has to, but he suspects it is his own fault all along if Naruto can’t trust to show his real feelings to him. 

It is sickening. 

“I wasn’t fast enough to stop him. Or maybe I was too tired already.” Naruto chuckles bitterly, and finally looks up at Kakashi, smiling widely and the carefree expression on his face is such a contrast with his next words that Kakashi has to swallow a bile rising in his throat. “Or maybe deep inside I felt the same. Left me all alone, that teme.”

“Naruto…” It’s all Kakashi can manage to push out of his dry throat. He would’ve never thought… Yes, Sasuke was not sane, had twisted sense of logic and moral, the lack of empathy and was downright murderous. But he wasn’t suicidal. And neither was Naruto. He can’t imagine the set of events that would dim the fire burning in this man to the point that a thought of taking his own life wouldn’t seem repulsive to him. 

“I think I even felt my heart stop for one moment. Such a weird feeling… And then I was just standing there like an idiot, thinking if I should pull the sword out of his body,” Naruto continues seriously, there is no trace of either smile or tears left on his face. “So I think I’ve had my own share of seeing people I love die, Kakashi. But they are alive here, and I have this second chance, thanks to some miraculous turn of events and thanks to  _ you _ , and I’m not spending it dwelling on how it went for me last time. And it was what, fifteen years for you? So, what’s your excuse?”

Kakashi swallows around the lump in throat, and rubs his face with his palm, using the moment to close his eyes for a second. He feels sick, and even more sick because he knows he is not even supposed to feel this way here, now, when the nightmares of their past life should’ve been stayed there, in the past. It is almost unfair, and he is angry at himself and at the way things have worked out for him in the end. Reminiscenting on all of it now feels somehow even worse than actually living through it in the past life. It feels almost like betrayal, this mourning of people who are alive and well here. There should be no place for those atrocities, the deaths, the grief here and now. And yet they are forever in his memory, and he can’t do anything about it, and Naruto implying that this is his conscious choice makes it even worse. 

Kakashi knows he will have to answer Naruto’s questions eventually. Most likely tonight, but the habit of dragging it is too strong, at least he prefers thinking of it as a habit ― this way he doesn’t have to admit to himself that he might be scared of what Naruto might do when he learns the truth. 

And even more so he is scared that Naruto will not do anything.

So he ignores Naruto’s question again, and asks his own instead. 

“Have you told Itachi about Sasuke?”

Naruto chuckles and gives Kakashi an extremely unimpressed look, that Kakashi didn’t even know Naruto could be capable of. 

“So he can coo over him even more? Of course not. Sasuke’s head is too big already.”

Kakashi hums in response, there is not much he can answer to that anyway. Naruto fidgets in front of him, his eyes glaze over with something, but he blinks, shakes his head and it’s gone. 

“So, Kakashi. Are you going to answer or I’ll need to beat the answer out of you?” He says in pretense cheerfulness, but his fingers are tight in fists around the fabric of his pajama pants and Kakashi can actually smell the stress coming from him. 

“You are not telling me everything, are you, Naruto?” It is nothing more but a stab in the dark, but so far Kakashi wouldn’t suspect Naruto hiding something or straight out lying, but he did hide the fact that Sasuke killed himself for almost three years, and though Kakashi can understand that it is clearly not something Naruto wanted to even think about let alone tell someone, he feels that there should be something more to it, that didn’t even make Naruto question Sasuke’s decision as much as Kakashi would hope for.

“You are not telling me everything either, Kakashi.” Naruto lets go of his pants and folds his arms defensively in front of his chest. His brows are furrowed and he is looking at Kakashi intently.

Kakashi watches him for a moment, and then sighs and lowers himself on the ground, leaning with his back at the cool surface of the Memorial Stone. In some morbid way it even feels soothing.

“I will tell you what is bothering me if you tell me what really happened.”

He expects Naruto to sit down beside him, but Naruto stays where he is and his eyes are searching Kakashi’s face as if he is trying to make sure that the man is not lying and he won’t have to talk about something that is clearly painful for him for nothing.

Making a decision, he looks down at his feet and tightens his arms around him.

“Everyone died, that’s what happened. Well, everyone in the range my sage mode. There was no one left. I was the last one eventually.” His voice is flat and quiet when he says it, and Kakashi can’t hear a single emotion in it, and it takes some time for the words to fully sink in.

It is sickening to think about it. He knows Naruto would not lie about such a thing, but Kakashi can’t quite process it. He catches himself thinking  _ ‘how’ _ and he is quick to realise that it is not the way all those people died he is questioning, but the way Naruto is here, now. Kakashi noticed the changes in the young man, of course he did. He missed two years of Naruto’s life, life in the war, and of course it did change him. But the core was still present when Naruto appeared here almost three years ago. 

And this is what Kakashi cannot understand about Naruto. How he can still smile and be bright and so full of life after everything he came through.

“How can I not,” Kakashi hears Naruto’s quiet voice, and he realises he must have said it out loud. Or the expression on his face is telling enough for Naruto to understand what he is thinking. All considering, Kakashi wouldn’t be surprised for Naruto to be much more perceptive than before. “They are all alive and happy here. Even those, who didn’t even make it to that war in the first place. How can I not smile, Kakashi, when I have my parents here, and you have Obito and Rin, and Sasuke has his brother who didn’t have to slaughter his whole clan for some stupid political reason.”

“Why didn’t you tell me this before?”

Naruto chuckles bitterly and sits down on the ground, pulling his knees to his chest. 

“I figured you didn’t need more reason to look at me like I was a representation of everything bad happened in your life.” There is a bite in his voice when he says it, and Kakashi is taken aback. 

Does Naruto really feel that way? What it was that he did that gave Naruto such an impression?

“Naruto...” Kakashi can hear the surprise in his own voice, and he trails off not sure what to say. It is absurd, what Naruto is implying. Suggesting that for Kakashi he is something that brings back bad memories is nothing less but ludicrous. If anything, Naruto has  _ always  _ been the source of light in his life, motivating and teaching him more than Kakashi thinks he’s managed to teach Naruto. Buyant and full of hope, he’s always reminded Kakashi of Minato, and just for that he has been grateful. And Kakashi helping to raise Naruto here in this world and being his friend throughout the years has been his way to do something good for the boy too. How can he possibly wrap it all in mere words to show Naruto how wrong he is?

“Whatever, Kakashi.” Naruto lets go of his knees and falls back, propping himself on his elbows. “Now it’s your turn.”

“My turn?”

“I told you my secret now tell me yours. What the fuck is wrong with you and all the brooding.”

Kakashi meets Naruto’s impatient gaze and lets himself contemplate for a brief moment of his next words. And really, there is no other way to say it.

He swallows and looks at the ground between them, raises his hand and tugs down his mask, because if they are doing this now, he doesn’t want Naruto to think he is anything but honest.

“I can’t forget.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everyone is probably already hating me at this point for dragging this thing with Kakashi for so long... I swear he is not just being an emo, but has a valid reason for it (that you can actually already guess from this chapter and getting back to the epigraph before Part II or the description of the series *wink wink*)
> 
> We'll learn the real reason in the next chapter, and in chapter after that one we're gonna visit Shisui and Itachi again (briefly) and Shisui will brighten up the mood, so don't worry, not more gloomy chapters.
> 
> In the further plans is a heartbreaking and heartwarming at the same time chapter full of brotherly feels (Itachi and Sasuke, duh, and already written), and SasuNaru is planned near the end of it all (I plan for 8-10 more chapters)


	27. Kakashi's secret ARC. #3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I managed! Holy shit, I'm sorry for making you wait for so long! I hope this chapter will be satisfying enough.
> 
> unbetaed!

##  Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist

“I can’t forget.”

That damn man! Going on and on with his “can’t forget” like a creep, and Naruto just wants to shove it up his ass already.

He wants to say something along the lines of  _ I’m going to strangle you with my bare hands, _ but Kakashi raises his head, and a dim moonlight catches on the drops of wetness in the corners of his eyes, and Naruto’s retort stucks in his throat and he swallows around it, because he has never seen Kakashi cry. 

It is not the same as in Sasuke’s case, who back then, as Naruto suspects, was simply transforming all the sorrow in him into something more violent and destructive, and in case of this Sasuke hasn’t really had many reason to be sad in the first place. But Naruto knows Kakashi has more than enough reasons to be crying himself to sleep every night, and perhaps he even does, but Kakashi is all about presenting himself as a carefree person who reads porn in public, and it is not about not being able to cry or not willing to, it is about never showing this part of him to anyone.

And Naruto is not sure if he should be glad that Kakashi trusts him enough to laid himself bare like that, or he should be annoyed by the fact that Kakashi even dares to have any reason for tears now.

But among all that Naruto feels uncomfortable, because he has expected this conversation to be a shouting match, and it was very close to it at some point, and he was ready for that, he’s played several scenarios of how this could go and considered himself ready to talk Kakashi through any type of the denial stage the man might have. But he hasn’t been prepared for tears. 

Naruto is not unsympathetic. He is, in fact, very much sympathetic, having lived through all kinds of extremely shitty situations the Fourth Shinobi War has thrown him into, including the deaths of everyone he knew, and he can very much understand that part of Kakashi that wants to just grieve. But he can’t understand why this part is still apparently so active after almost fifteen years the man has lived among people he loved, who were now alive and well. He can’t understand how is it possible to grieve when there are so many reasons to be happy.

Naruto has his share of nightmares and blood chilling flashbacks. He has the memories that he prefers not to revisit. Unexpected loud sounds still startle him sometimes, and there are nights when he has to use his Sennin mode to feel the presence of everyone he loves, to just  _ make sure _ . 

But all of that fades when every day he gets to see the smiling faces of his parents, and feel his dad’s warm hand on his head ruffling his hair, and his mother’s loving kiss on his cheek. 

It suddenly starts to matter so little if only for the purpose to actually be able to understand how incredibly remarkable and almost miraculous it is, when he sees a happy smile on the face of the man, who Naruto remembers hating the whole world to the point that he wanted to break and destroy it and then built anew, and there is warmth and _love_ now in these eyes, that were so dark with grief and pain and _hell_. 

It is so easy to forget all the losses and all the tragedy of his first life, when Sasuke squints his eyes in delight and  _ shines  _ when Itachi touches his forehead with the tips of his fingers, and Naruto didn’t even know such love and adoration could even exist, and he is not even jealous, because if he looks closely he can see the corners of Itachi’s lips tilting in a smile too, and it is  _ priceless. _

And Sasuke is not broken and he doesn’t hate, and he is  _ alive, _ and Kakashi is  _ alive _ , and Sakura, and Tenzou, and  _ all Uchiha _ , and Shisui, who Naruto didn’t even get to know the first time, is looking at Itachi like he can  _ die  _ for him, and it is scary, but  exhilarating  at the same time. 

And Jiraiya is alive ― somewhere, since Naruto hasn’t gotten to actually see him yet, but it doesn’t matter, cause he is  _ alive _ , and Naruto is sure he will see him one day ― and all others, whose deaths Naruto got to see with his own eyes or feel their chakra signatures fading in the distance.

And it is  _ so much _ and so much  _ more _ than he even dared to dream of, that he just  _ doesn’t understand. _

“Well, then you should. Because there is so much happiness around you that you can't see because you're letting the past haunt you instead of focusing on what you have,” he says dryly. 

Kakashi shakes his head solemnly and a corner of his lips tilts in a smile that doesn’t reach his eyes.

“No, Naruto, let me explain.” He takes a deep breath and Naruto waits patiently. “It is because of the Sharingan.”

Naruto tilts his head in confusion, stairs in the man’s left eye, makes sure he sees only the almost black of Kakashi’s iris, and when the eye closes in Kakashi’s apparent discomfort, Naruto moves his attention to another one and says blankly, 

“But you don’t have it now.”

“That is exactly the problem,” Kakashi nods.

Honestly, Naruto has never really thought about Kakashi not having his ― well, Obito’s technically ― Sharingan now. There was a short moment of the confusion in the very beginning when Naruto was surprised to see Kakashi not covering his left eye and having both eyes of the same color, but Obito also had both of his eyes intact, so it really explained that. And through his time here Naruto has so gotten used to seeing both of Kakashi’s eyes ― well, most of the time ― that he’s never really questioned what the loss of Sharingan might have brought to the man.

Actually, he doesn’t really understand it now either.

Naruto rubs the back of his neck and tilts his head to the other side.

“Why’s that a problem?”

“Sharingan memorises things,” Kakashi starts explaining. “These memories are not like normal ones, they don’t fade with time, they don’t change.” Kakashi inhales slowly, furrowing his brows even more, and Naruto notices the man’s hand on the ground, fingers digging in the dirt and knuckles white with strain. He can’t imagine why it is so hard for Kakashi to talk about, but he respects it and keeps silent. “You have your share of bad memories, Naruto. Imagine seeing them each time you close your eyes as clear as if they  _ just _ happened. Imagine all your dreams consisting of only such memories, that look so real, it takes you a whole hour each morning to convince yourself that it’s been  _ years _ , and everything is different now.” 

The hand on the ground is trembling slightly, and Naruto looks up at Kakashi’s face. His eyes are dark with unshed tears and he is looking blankly before him. Naruto moves before thinking, turning to stand on his knees and reaching to the man to envelop him in a tight hug. Kakashi gasps in surprise, but his arms wrap around Naruto’s waist and he hides his face in Naruto’s shoulder. 

“Some nights I can’t even say what’s real or not, Naruto.” Kakashi’s voice is muffled, and Naruto feels his pajama shirt getting wet from tears. Naruto is rubbing Kakashi’s back with one hand, holding him tight with another. Kakashi is trembling slightly and Naruto realises he starts crying himself only when he sees a few tears falling on his arm around Kakashi’s shoulders. “More than anything I want to  _ forget _ . Hell, I remember the hate in Obito’s eyes when he fought me clearer than the way he looks at me now, Naruto. I don’t even  _ remember  _ his face when he first told me he loved me! But I remember him hating me for letting Rin die like it happened yesterday!” 

Kakashi almost screams the last words. He clings to Naruto as if he is the only stable thing in his life at this moment, and Naruto’s heart absolutely shatters. He gives up on trying to silence his sobbing, sniffs and starts crying in earnest, pressing his face in Kakashi’s shoulder. He knows he should be comforting the man right now, and he just hopes perhaps the sympathetic crying can somehow help as well.

“It’s like these years didn’t happen. It’s like nothing has changed.” Kakashi adds tiredly after his trembling goes down and he is stops crying. He shifts away from Naruto’s embrace, and Naruto lets him, wiping off his own tears and nose with the sleeve of his pajama. 

Kakashi leans back at the Memorial stone and breaths out soundly. He is avoiding Naruto’s gaze when he speaks again. 

“I’m sorry for ruining your pajama, Naru-chan.” He sniffs and throws his head back, closing his eyes. “I hope this answers your question.”

“I had no idea.”

“Of course.”

“This sucks so much.”

Kakashi just chuckles bitterly and doesn’t answer. Naruto fidgets on his spot, suddenly feeling uncomfortable. He got his answer indeed, but he doesn’t feel satisfied. He can’t just accept that his friend is bound to suffer like this all his life, he can’t just let him be stuck in the horrible past when the rest of them are enjoying their happy lives. It is not fair. Kakashi has deserved this new life even more than the rest of them.

“Kakashi, there must be something―”

“We can’t do anything about it,” Kakashi interrupts Naruto, opening his eyes. “Just don’t question me next time you think I am not joyful enough. Especially not when Obito is away,” he finishes quietly, and Naruto can see that there is much more to this than a simple missing of the loved one. With those crystal-clear Sharingan memories and not being able to see Obito to  _ make sure _ it is probably very hard for Kakashi not to be afraid that his husband won’t come back. Or will come back changed.

“I’m sorry,” Naruto says quietly. 

“You shouldn't’ be.”

“I’m gonna stay with you from now on each time Obito leaves the village!” Naruto smacks his fist in the ground determinedly and he sees Kakashi finally smiling slightly.

“Maa, Naru-chan, my little guardian,” he says affectionately and reaches to ruffle Naruto’s hair. 

They both know that Naruto is too old for this, and they both know that as much as this second life is real there was another before that, when neither of them got a chance to be normal kids, where Kakashi wasn’t there for Naruto when he needed him ― someone, anyone ― where there was no one for Kakashi either. But they still has this second chance, and Naruto now  _ remembers _ his older brother always being there for him, showing his love if not with affection, but with support and understanding and always being this solid presence behind Naruto that he needed so much in his first life. There is nothing that Naruto can possibly repay Kakashi with for this, and he doubts the man even understands fully how much this self proclaiming himself to be a part of Naruto’s family means for Naruto. 

And Naruto definitely not letting this Sharingan-memory thing slide. He won’t rest until he finds a solution to it. But Kakashi is not the one Naruto will be discussing it with. 

“Thank you for telling me this, Kashi-nii,” Naruto says with a smile. “Don’t know why it took you so long though!” He adds with a pout. 

“Maybe I enjoyed torturing you,” Kakashi answers, squinting his eyes. 

“Speaking of which. While I’ve finally got you in a sharing mode, is there something else you want to talk about?” It is a shot in the dark. As far as Naruto knows there is hardly something else that could be bothering Kakashi. Not to mention, finally telling Naruto his Sharingan-secret, doesn’t mean that Kakashi wants to keep playing an honest game with him.

He doesn’t really expects an answer, but Kakashi eyes him for a moment, and then speaks.

“Several years ago Obito told me that he loved me so much he didn’t know if he would handle it if smth happened to me. Last time Obito didn't know how to handle a death of a person he loved, he decided to destroy the world.”

“Well, I’m sure this time he wouldn’t do such a thing,” Naruto answers almost automatically ― what is it here to even worry about, this much should be already obvious.

Kakashi’s lips twitch when he hears that, but he doesn’t answer. He looks down on his laps and closes his left eye and Naruto is not sure what exactly in what he said made the man feel uncomfortable. 

They sit in silence for a while when a thought crosses Naruto’s mind, and how come he hasn’t asked this before, when it was one of the first questions he had once he found himself in this past. There is nothing in his knew memories regarding this and he just concludes he simply has never been that interested.

“By the way, Kakashi, how come Obito is with you and not Rin?” He doesn’t ask why  _ Kakashi _ is with Obito in the first place, he really can understand the sentiment, though Naruto was definitely surprised to see them together here,  _ considering _ .

He thinks the question might raise Kakashi’s spirit a bit. People like telling “getting together” stories, right? 

Apparently not, or perhaps it was the wrong way to phrase this, or maybe he shouldn’t have asked this at all, like never, under no circumstances, because Kakashi throws a betrayed side glance of a kicked puppy at him, and his face completely falls, and he all but slacks and even his hair seems to lose some of its vitality, and silver strands plaster the man’s face, and Naruto is stuck between feeling guilty for poking a corpse with a stick and being annoyed and frustrated with Kakashi’s brooding.

“I don’t know.”

Naruto blinks and waits for Kakashi to specify. Then he waits more, but it seems to be everything that Kakashi thinks on the matter or is willing to share at the moment. Anyway, by the look on the man’s face, Naruto concludes that it should be the true ― Kakashi really doesn’t know. Or he thinks he doesn’t.

That’s just can’t be right.

“What do you mean you don’t know?” Naruto shakes his head and leans forward. He grabs Kakashi by the shoulder and turns him a bit too look in his face. Their eyes meet and Naruto feels his own widening in disbelief. “Wait, Kakashi, are you doubting he loves you?” There is no answer, and it’s already the answer by itself, and Naruto feels his jaw drop. He can’t be serious, can he? “Unbelievable. You really are Bakashi.”

Naruto remembers his first few days here, when he still wasn’t up to date with what kind of actions Kakashi and Itachi had been able to execute to prevent certain disastrous events from happening, and so he entertained several thoughts and vague plans of what could be done at that point of time to guarantee that nothing would lead to how it ended their first time, but he soon learnt that fighting overpowered maniacs with godlike ambitions was pretty much no longer necessary. 

He didn’t really expect his task to be a beating up some sense into his time-traveling senpais as it seems ― he still kind of doesn’t like how Itachi so obviously  _ exists  _ instead of living, having apparently decided that he needs to atone for what he made Sasuke go through, which Naruto nothing but approves, but it still doesn’t mean that aside from taking care of his otouto Itachi should vegetate. It did indeed slightly change to the better when Itachi finally got together with Shisui. This new relationship definitely breathed some life into him, but Naruto suspects it is still might be a long process. Granted, he is sure Shisui will do everything in his power to make Itachi absolutely happy, no matter how long it takes.

But Naruto definitely didn’t expect to find himself in the situation, where he will have to talk his former sensei of all people through a love-crisis or whatever the hell it is.

Honestly, he’d trade this for kicking overpowered maniacs with godlike ambitions any time of a day. At least he knew how to deal with maniacs ― well, to some extent ― but he had no idea what to do with the man who after years of being married to one of those manqued maniacs decided to have doubts about the sincerity of his spouse's feelings. And it’s not like it is some foreign territory for Naruto, not really. 

The problem is that he can probably relate too much.

Except that  _ this  _ Obito is as far from being a murderous lunatic as humanly possible, and unlike Naruto, who had to deal with Sasuke, who probably wasn’t as destructive as  Obito was, but came dangerously close, Kakashi is now dealing with one of the kindest and most sincere people Naruto has ever met, and on top of not understanding Kakashi’s concern, Naruto wants to slap him with something heavy for daring to doubt that amazing man.  

Naruto sighs and braces himself for another long talk. If anything, after Kakashi finally opened up to him about his Sharingan-problem, Naruto owes him at least this.

“What exactly are you so worried about? That he would try to destroy the world if you die or that he wouldn’t, cause he doesn’t love you that much?”

Kakashi looks in the distance, frowning, then turns to Naruto and raises one brow.

“Both?..” comes the answer, and Naruto can hear his own blood moving through his blood vessels in the silence when he stares at the man without blinking. 

“He is Uchiha,” Naruto says dryly.

“That I am aware of,” Kakashi answers with a slight tilt of his brow.

“They don’t do middle ground when it comes to loving someone, Bakashi,” Naruto tells him patiently.

“Can you not―”

“No, you are Bakashi when you are saying stupid things like that.”

“You asked me yourself.”

“...when you are  _ thinking  _ stupid things like that.”

Kakashi stairs at him with wide eyes and then  _ pouts _ . Naruto cheers internally, but keeps hard expression on his face. “Well, that’s just unfair, Naru-chan.”

“You fully deserve this.” Naruto puts his hand on Kakashi’s shoulder and looks him in the eye. “Alright, silly man, tell me how you got together.”

Kakashi scratches his brow, looks at Naruto with suspicion and answers reluctantly. “Well, he came to me and confessed in having feelings for me.”

As if Naruto has ever doubted it was Obito. Kakashi has never been good in expressing his feelings. Naruto can bet Kakashi had been pining for  _ years _ then.

“Right. And Obito was the one to propose?” Naruto knows ― remembers ― this part, but he wants Kakashi to say this himself.

Kakashi squints and tilts his head slightly. “Well, yeah…”

“And as far as I know he was the one who started talking about kids?”

“Yes, Naruto. What are you―”

“And he hasn’t changed his mind about it yet?” Naruto smiles at Kakashi’s confusion.

“No, actually we decided to accept Rin’s offer―”

“ _ What?!  _ And I am learning about this only now?!” Naruto jumps in excitement and grabs Kakashi’s other shoulder as well, shaking him a bit. Kakashi looks like he already regrets telling him this.

“We decided just before Obito left for this mission,” he says reluctantly.

Naruto squeals and hugs the man briefly. “Damn, I’m so happy for you!”

“Nothing is  _ done _ yet, Naruto…”

“Eeww, Kakashi, I don’t need to  _ know _ .” Naruto almost jumps back letting go of Kakashi.

Amused smile rises on Kakashi’s face, and he squints his eyes with mischief.

“Maa, Naruto, this is just a simple medical procedure. Let me get you through the basics of it.”

Naruto screams and hurriedly crawls a couple of meters back. His pajama pants are probably absolutely ruined by this point. “I don’t want to know! I don’t care how it’s done, ok?!” Kakashi laughs and Naruto relaxes a bit and smiles, looking at a rare delight on Kakashi’s face. “But I will be so happy for you when the baby is here, Kashi-nii,” he says softly, and Kakashi stops laughing, looking at him with a warm smile.

“Thank you, Naru-chan.”

“And getting back to my point.” Naruto stands up and stretches. “Obito loves you crazy much. Don’t you ever doubt this.”

“World destruction it is then.”

“If you die first?”

“If I die first.”

“Nah.” Naruto shakes his head and puts his hands on his hips looking down at Kakashi with a smile. “And you know why?”

“Why?” Kakashi asks, starting to rise to his feet. Naruto offers him a hand and Kakashi takes it.

“Because there are others in this world who he also loves. And who love him back. And he knows that.” Naruto helps Kakashi to his feet, and Kakashi stands still in front of him, looking at him in almost disbelief. “He will never be alone, Kakashi. And neither will you.”

Kakashi’s hand is warm in Naruto’s one, and the man smiles brightly and there is joy in his dark eyes, and Naruto hopes that right now the only thing they see is happy future.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some more explanations will be in the next one as well, so if there is anything unclear here, just wait for the next one (shouldn't be too long, it's partially done).  
> Next chapter will be the final in this arc. And after that I plan for around 5-6-chapter-arc that right now I call "Family arc" but the name might change (and I already have a heartwarming chapter with Itachi and Sasuke there and I just have a huge soft spot for these two I'm sorry). And after that there will be a short epilogue. So the end is near. I hope I won't stuck somewhere right near it like it happened in "Lest we forget"...


	28. Kakashi's secret ARC. #4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shisui is being a bit of an exhibitionist in this chap, sorry about that, no idea why he is coming out as such a perv in this fic xD (But honestly, I just couldn't resist to show a bit of ShiIta from the 3d person pov xD)
> 
> Title: Kindred.
> 
> Unbetaed (as usual these days)

##  Tomorrow is a hope, never a promise

The discovery is huge, and it’s spilling over the edge making Naruto fidgety and itchy. He is dying to share this new information and the ideas he has, and despite him realising that it is too personal to share with anyone, because if Kakashi wanted to he already would, Naruto can’t just accept it and not try to do anything about it, and for that he needs an  _ accomplice _ , if only to clarify a few details for him. 

Itachi is the perfect and the only candidate for that, and despite the late hour, Naruto heads to Shisui’s house, because he can’t wait even if his life depended on it.

Before he can reach to knock at the door, he hears the sound of wings, and a huge black crow lands on his shoulder, digging its claws in his collarbone. Naruto freezes with a hand still up in the air and laughs nervously. The crow tilts its head and watches him with one big black eye looking completely unimpressed. Naruto likes Itachi, he really does, but his crows always give him chills. He is not sure how it works, and if the crow here means that Itachi is watching through its eyes or the bird acts independently, and Naruto actually contemplates telling the crow on his shoulder the purpose of his visit in case if the bird acts as some sort of a secretary for the Uchiha, despite how absurd the idea sounds in Naruto’s head.

But before he can open his mouth and embarrass himself, the door opens to Shisui’s sleepy face. The crow silently flies away, Shisui yawns and, mumbling, “Hey, Naru-chan,” walks back into the house gesturing Naruto to come in.

Naruto follows him into the dark house and farther into the spacious room. It is there, with cold moonlight reaching through the windows, Naruto notices Shisui’s undressed state, and he thinks that perhaps barging in his house in the middle of the night with Itachi here wasn’t a very smart idea.

"You are naked!" Naruto yells, pointing in the general direction of Shisui, while the man walks to the futon in the middle of the room and bends down to kiss the top of Itachi’s head, who is sitting in the mess of blankets and pillows, looking at Naruto through half-lidded eyes. He might be just barely holding himself from falling asleep, but it still looks rather intimidating.

"I’m in my house,” Shisui shrugs, and drops himself down beside Itachi with a loud yawn.

"Naked!" Naruto screams, when Shisui doesn’t even attempt to cover himself, and Itachi winces. 

"And you are in pajamas. And you walked the streets like that,” Shisui answers with a sly smile. “Grow up, Naruto."

"I am almost as old as you and this doesn't mean I have to look at your junk!"

"Then don't look,” Shisui shrugs again, his smile grows wider and he leans forward, fixing his eyes on Naruto’s. “And are you sure your first set of memories makes you older than what the second one makes you believe in? You've regained all the memories, haven't you? Which one is the main one for you, Naruto?"

"Huh?"

Shisui is grinning widely, and Itachi leans back on his elbows and says sleepily, "Stop messing with his head, Shisui." 

His voice is hoarse from sleep ― or  _ stuff _ , Naruto thinks, and then, mortified, shakes his head trying to brush the thought away ― and this is the most harmless ― deceptively so ― Naruto has ever seen Itachi. 

Naruto expects Shisui to argue, but the man falls silent, turning to look at Itachi with a smile, and kisses his bare shoulder. It would be even adorable ― especially the way Itachi’s feature soften ― if only Shisui was not so defiantly naked. 

Naruto chooses to ignore it, and walks to the sofa standing not far from the futon. He is starting to sit down, when Shisui looks at him and says,

"I wouldn't recommend you sitting there."

Naruto can swear he sees Itachi rolling his eyes, when he stops in the middle of the motion, his butt mere inches from the sofa’s surface.

"What? Why?"

"Shisui."

"You see, me and Itachi..." Shisui starts and trails off looking meaningfully at Naruto, his smile widening to a grin.

"Shisui!"

Naruto feels his eyes widen at realisation, and he jumps from the piece of furniture as if it just bit him. "Ah, crap!"

Shisui sees his mortified face and starts laughing. Itachi looks at him disapprovingly, that Shisui doesn’t notice, and sits up turning to Naruto.

"Calm down, Naruto, he is just messing with you."

"You are spoiling my fun, Itachi."

Naruto throws a look at the sofa again and decides not to risk it. He lowers himself on the floor, watching Shisui’s face carefully for any sign that the chosen place might be not so safe for him, but Shisui is back to his usual unreadable expression with a small polite smile and Naruto wonders how it has come to this, that he is surrounded by perverts wherever he goes.

“So, what happened, Naruto?” Shisui asks once Naruto is seated, and lets Itachi throw a side of a blanket on his lower half, all to Naruto’s silent approval.

“I learned why Kakashi is sulking!”

He doesn’t think it is right to simply tell them what it took him so long to pull out of Kakashi, but he is dealing with geniuses here, and sure they can guess the answer if he gives them enough clues, and that way it wouldn’t be like he simply went and spilled Kakashi’s personal information to them.

Itachi looks a bit more awake at this, and some morbid interest flickers in Shisui’s eyes, when he leans at Itachi’s shoulder.

“Did you drug him? Beat him down? Blackmailed him? What with? Did you―”

“Shisui.”

“What?!” Sometimes Shisui could be a tad too enthusiastic and Naruto could not tell whether he is just joking or actually being serious. Sense of humor doesn’t usually go well with Uchiha genes. But in the most cases it means the absolute lack of it. In Shisui’s case it results in although generally very nice but somewhat a bit sick personality.  “No! He told me himself.”

Shisui bites his lip in disappointment and seemingly loses all the interest in the conversation, instead redirecting his attention to covering Itachi’s exposed shoulder in kisses. Naruto feels a little bit grossed out by such a display of affection, but at the same time he can’t ignore how Shisui’s face softens and he looks completely lost in this simple process. 

“And what would it be?” Itachi asks, his hand meanwhile finds one of Shisui’s lying on his lap. The scene before Naruto is even more intimate than Shisui meeting him at the door butt naked. Naruto averts his eyes, but he can’t help but smile ― for Itachi having this, for Shisui being alive. 

“I can’t tell you, it’s personal,” he says and folds his arms.

Itachi watches him impassively, then shrugs his unoccupied by Shisui’s mouth shoulder.

“Alright then, in that case I believe nothing is holding you here.”

Shisui hums in approval and his free hand sneaks under the blanket. Naruto hears Itachi’s breath hitch, and the man quickly grabs Shisui’s hand pulling it out of wherever it was just now, which is a bit too late, because Naruto is already scandalised.

“What is with this exhibitionism!” He screams, feeling his cheeks heat up. “Can you wait with this while I’m here?!” 

Shisui lifts his head and smirks. “We’ll see how patient  _ you _ will be once you don’t have to keep your hands off Sasuke any longer.”

Naruto chokes and his eyes widen. “What the fuck, Shisui, his brother is sitting  _ right here!”  _ he whispers fiercely, leaning forward and pointing at Itachi’s entirely unimpressed face. 

Shisui chuckles and leans at Itachi’s shoulder. “‘Tachi doesn’t mind.”

Naruto looks at Itachi, who furrows his brows slightly, and in Naruto’s book this is definitely not a “doesn’t mind” expression. Though it is always hard to say with Itachi.

“You were meant to tell us something, Naruto,” Itachi says.

_ I did, but then your pervy boyfriend started his shenanigans _ , Naruto wants to say, but swallows it down in lieu of neither wasting time nor pissing off Itachi. 

“Yeah, about Kakashi,” he says instead. “He told me finally what is up with him, but if I tell you this, it’d be like I’m spreading his secret or something, so I’m gonna give you a hint and you gotta guess, okay?” Itachi’s face doesn't change, but Shisui’s smirk widens. Naruto chooses to ignore it and just goes on. “You know how he is saying that he can’t forget. Turns out he really  _ can’t. _ ” Naruto makes an emphasis on “can’t” and holds himself from winking or pointing on the Uchiha’s eyes. He is grinning widely, anticipating confused looks and more questions, but Shisui blinks, and interest fades from his eyes. He stretches with a yawn and lies down with his head on Itachi’s lap. The corner of Itachi’s lips twitches slightly, but Naruto suspects it is more a reaction at Shisui rubbing his cheek at Itachi’s thigh like a cat, rather than at Naruto’s words.

“Must be Sharingan,” Itachi says simply and Shisui hums in agreement, and Naruto can’t help but feel disappointed. Not that he really expected to keep them guessing for too long, but their reaction could’ve at least been more enthusiastic.

“Must be really bad for him now without it,” Shisui says absentmindedly. “I’m so happy, Itachi, that you still have yours.” He really does sound genuinely happy, a bit  _ too  _ happy in Naruto’s opinion ― in his experience Sharingan has never been something good.

“By the way, Itachi, why it is not the same for you?” Naruto asks. “You too have a ton of shitty memories.”

“As Shisui pointed, I still have Sharingan, so I can make happier memories now,” Itachi says. Naruto tilts his head and blinks in confusion. “Sharingan memories are as vivid as if the events in them happened just a moment ago,” Itachi explains, threading his fingers through Shisui’s messy locks. “One thing is to have both bad and good memories, and completely different is to remember only bad ones brightly, when the memories of good events of your present are fading away with time, because without help human mind is unable to keep memories intact forever.”

“He remembers the fights he had with Sharingan in his past life better than he remembers his last fifteen years here, Naruto,” Shisui says quietly. 

Naruto swallows and looks down. Sure, Kakashi told him pretty much the same thing, it just didn’t connect in Naruto’s mind, that this is not a problem that could get better with time passing. If anything, the more time passes, the more Kakashi forgets, while the memories of his past life ― the memories that are in some cases are already more than two decades old ― stay intact. He is bound to be stuck in the life that he is no longer a part of, when this one will be just slipping through his mind like sand through fingers, not leaving significant impact compare to the Sharingan memories. 

Traumatic memories that last forever. Painful images that are always there. This is...

“...horrible,” Naruto hears himself saying.

“Yes.”

“So there is nothing can be done?” He doesn’t want to believe this, he has never been the one to just accept a failure. Even in the worst situations there is always at least the tiniest hope, he just needs to find it. 

“Not without a Sharingan to create new vivid memories,” Shisui says. “Besides, it won't actually make those other memories duller, he would just make new ones, that would serve as a compensation, some balance of a sort.”

Itachi just nods, agreeing with Shisui’s words, and Naruto shifts on his place, rubbing the back oh his head thoughtfully.

“So if he had a Sharingan now…” he starts and then trails off, humming. Itachi squints his eyes and looks at him intently.

“What are you thinking of, Naruto?”

Shisui also turns to look at him, and Naruto leans forward, planting his palms on the floor before him, and he feels a familiar excitement rising in him when he says with a grin,

“Do you think Obito would agree to give him one eye?”

Shisui actually looks impressed when he chuckles and opens his mouth to answer, but Itachi is quick to put his hand across Shisui’s mouth.

“You can't ask someone to give up their eye, Naruto, especially you can't ask  _ Uchiha,”  _ Itachi says.

“But he gave him his eye once.”

“Those were special circumstances.” 

“Well, these circumstances are also special!” Naruto goes on stubbornly. Shisui manages to wiggle from under Itachi’s hold, sits up and grins.

“I like Naruto’s idea,” he says and then looks at Itachi. “And the eye Obito will give Kakashi won’t be losing its sight.” Naruto is not sure what this has to do with anything, but Itachi frowns and turns to Shisui at that.

“Obito doesn’t have Mangekyō now, Shisui, so it doesn’t matter,” he answers dryly, and Shisui’s smile widens. Naruto is not exactly sure he understands what’s happening. 

“Sure he doesn’t but if he  _ had _ …”

“Stop it, Shisui.”

Shisui shrugs and leans back on his hands. “I am just merely saying that it makes perfect sense, see, even Naruto understands that.” He throws a look at Naruto and winks, and Naruto is getting even more confused.

“Actually I―” 

“Shisui, we  [ talked  ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15162056/chapters/35218637) about it.”

“...and it’s romantic, right, Naruto?”

“Huh?”

“Shisui!”

Naruto is watching the two Uchiha stare at each other and he has an uncomfortable feeling, that they mastered an ability to exchange words without opening their mouths, because something is definitely going on now with all those intense gazes.

Honestly, Naruto wouldn’t even be surprised.

He thinks back to what Shisui said, and the sudden thought crosses his mind.

“What is it about? You are losing your sight, Itachi?” he asks.

“I am not,” Itachi answers without looking at him.

“He is.”

“What? When did it start? Why didn’t you tell us? And I thought you haven’t been using your Mangekyō that much.”

Itachi finally tears his eyes from Shisui and turns to Naruto.

“I haven’t. But I shouldn’t have had Mangekyō in the first place too, and I had it right from the start. It’s the same as Kakashi’s memories. It shouldn’t work for him like that because he doesn’t have Sharingan here. And yet he still has both those memories and all the jutsu he learned when he had Obito’s eye.”

Naruto hums, bends his arms and puts his chin in his palms. All this Sharingan thing is extremely confusing, and he still hasn’t fully processed Kakashi’s revelation about his memories, and now there is this problem with Itachi losing his sight that apparently goes much deeper than Naruto might have suspected when Itachi used his Mangekyō on him those couple of times.

“So if Kakashi has everything exactly the way he had when he had Sharingan, does it mean that your sight is exactly the way it was before you died?” He asks carefully, not sure if his understanding of the situation is correct.

Itachi doesn’t answer right away and Shisui frowns, looking at him with worry.

“Itachi?..”

“It is getting there,” Itachi says and Shisui gasps, grabbing his arm. 

“Why didn’t you tell me that, Itachi?”

Itachi winces slightly and puts his hand on top of the Shisui's one on his arm. “Drop it, Shisui.” 

“And how bad was it?” Not getting an answer, Shisui turns to Naruto and repeats, “Naruto, how bad was it?”

“I’m not sure... Sasuke was saying Itachi almost always had his Sharingan on, and from what I saw…” He swallows the rest of it and Shisui’s eyes widen.

“He was almost blind…” Shisui mutters under his breath and turns back to Itachi who is looking blankly before him. “You were almost blind, Itachi, weren’t you? How much had you had to use your Mangekyō that it led to this?!”

“It doesn’t take as much as you might think, Shisui.”

“Oh, Itachi…”

Itachi shakes his head, letting go of Shisui’s hand. “This is the discussion for another time. Naruto, do whatever you feel is right. Although remember, that Kakashi was younger back then, it might be more difficult for him to adjust to Sharingan now, if both him and Obito agree to go along with your idea.”

Naruto nods energetically already thinking ahead of how awesome it would be once the matter has been solved. 

“And you do realise you will have to actually tell Obito everything if you want to ask this of him?” Shisui speaks up. “And that Kakashi will not be happy about it?” 

“I’m sure he wouldn’t mind, ‘cause it’d be all for the best!” Naruto declares optimistically and stands up. “Ah, man, I can’t wait to get this plan in motion!” he says, stretching. Shisui chuckles and Itachi just shakes his head silently. “Alright, I’ll be going now.” He heads to the door, pretends that he doesn’t hear Itachi’s “ _ Wait, Shisui _ ”, shudders, smiles and throws above his shoulder, “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t so, Shisui-kun!”

“I would never, Naru-chan!” 

Naruto chuckles and leaves the house. He jumps at the nearest roof and heads home. It is still dark, but it is not that long till dawn already, and he might as well catch a couple of hours of sleep before he can start fully planning for his  _ Operation “Sharingan” _ as he calls it now in his head. 

He lands on the windowsill of his room, and smiles widely at the view before him. 

Sasuke is curled up on the floor between their two futons, hugging a pillows fiercely. He seems not to notice Naruto’s arrival, and Naruto walks to Sasuke’s futon on his toes, grabs the blanket and carefully covers Sasuke with it. He lies down on his own futon, and he hears Sasuke shift. 

“Where have you been?” the boy asks quietly, and Naruto turns on his side to look at him.

“Was just getting some air,” he answers. “Sleep, Sasuke.”

Sasuke hums, but doesn’t say more. Naruto expects him to move back to his own futon now when he is awake, but Sasuke stays where he is.

Naruto is thinking about the things he’s learnt this night and the things he will be able to change now with this knowledge. He is smiling absentmindedly, and when he is closing his eyes he thinks he sees Sasuke’s eyes shine red. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this chapter could've been better. I feel that I'm getting a bit burned out with this fic, hope it won't last. 
> 
> Please take a look at my [other Naruto fic](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15162056) where I'm also giving all these characters smth better than they got in the anime =)
> 
>  **IMPORTANT PLS READ**  
>  The way the idea with asking Obito for an eye was introduced here pissed off a couple of ppl and quite fairly so (probably more, but very few people actually comment). Like I said, this chapter definitely could’ve been handled better, I admit this fuck up. If you are one of such ppl, I ask for your patience — I will fix it all in the following chapters AND I plan to rewrite a couple of paragraphs in this one. You can have a look at my answers in the comments below for more details, if you want.  
> Thank you.


	29. Trust ARC. #1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two updates in a row, what happened?!  
> Happened that I kinda fucked up in the previous chapter and it caused some misunderstandings and disappointments, and for that I apologize.  
> Hence this chapter, that I am much happier with and that should clarify Naruto's plan and motivation a bit. 
> 
> Huge thank you goes to [Takene_ne](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Takene_ne/pseuds/Takene_ne) for pointing at my fuck-ups and giving me some inspiration and ideas of how to proceed with this story. 
> 
> Special thanks to [Aschen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aschen/pseuds/Aschen) for providing me with an awesome quote that I shamelessly used with small modification in this chapter without even asking their permission. Hope you don't mind :D
> 
> Title: Kai'sa  
> Unbetaed

##  I came back for the others who couldn’t

_ “WHAT THE HELL, BOY, I DIDN’T RAISE YOU TO BE SUCH A MORON! NO, WE ARE NOT SACRIFICING OBITO’S EYE FOR YOUR RAMEN!” _

Naruto wakes with a startle and stares at the ceiling with wide eyes. He notices that he is holding his breath when he hears a buzz in his ears, and he breathes out soundly, bringing his hand to his forehead.

What the hell was with that dream?! 

It started nice enough. He had his own Sharingan there and somehow it worked like a photo-camera, with his eye-lids serving as a shutter, making the same creaky sound when he blinked. He used it to take pictures of Sasuke and ramen, because he couldn’t choose between the two. He then could close his eyes and look through the “photos” he took. He spent a good time sorting them, assigning one ramen photo to one of Sasuke’s ones, following some logic that now awake he couldn’t remember, but it all somehow made perfect sense in his dream. 

Then he found himself at the ramen place, with a big, beautiful plate of ramen steaming before him, but when he was about to shove his chopsticks in this noodles heaven, it spoke with Sasuke’s voice,  _ “Either him, or me! You can’t have us both!”.  _ And Naruto was crying, because he loved them both equally and couldn’t decide, and someone, who looked like Shisui, was petting his head, telling him he should set his priorities straight, because who needed some edgy Uchiha, when he could have a lifetime supply of delicious ramen. Then Shisui turned into Teuchi-san and Naruto realised it was all a conspiracy to make him visit Ichiraku ramen more often.

Next he was standing before Obito, begging him to give him one eye so he can take more ramen pictures, because his own stopped working after that ramen-Sasuke spoke to him, and Naruto’s father and Kakashi were standing behind him, talking in unison and  _ judging _ and that’s when Naruto finally woke up.

Naruto swallows and makes a mental note to go to his favorite ramen place today. Just in case.

Also, he realises, that making a decision about Kakashi and Obito yesterday in the middle of the night after exhausting conversation with Kakashi and while being distracted by Shisui’s infuriating behavior was certainly much easier than thinking about it now on a fresh head. As much as his head could be considered fresh after having such a weird dream.

He thinks perhaps he really should give himself some time and at least have a breakfast before going too deep into analyzing last night’s events, and moves to roll to his side, only to discover with surprise that he can’t move as freely as he thought. He looks down, registers that he again half slid from his futon to the floor, and is sprawling like a starfish, and one of his leg is being held hostage by Sasuke. The pillow that served this purpose lies abandoned.

Naruto curses under his breath, pulls his leg carefully, but Sasuke’s hold is strong and there is no way Naruto can set himself free without waking the boy up. 

Sasuke is too, too cuddly. It is almost unnatural, especially considering Itachi is most definitely the one to blame. That these two haven’t fused yet to form one single Uchiha is probably just matter of them having too different personalities. Anyway hardly anyone would be surprised. 

Naruto doesn’t really mind. He loves cuddles, he loves hugging and loves being hugged, but there is a matter of him also loving Sasuke and trying to maintain their friendship without involving anything else into it, especially Naruto’s memories of him being with Sasuke in his past life. And Sasuke is not making it easy for him. 

He tugs at his feet again, Sasuke grumbles in his sleep, and then the door bursts open and Kushina steps into the room with a wide smile and a loud, “Wake up, boys!” Followed by, “Oh, you two are so adorable!”

Naruto’s cheeks heat up, Sasuke jumps, notices Naruto’s leg in his arms, pushes it away, flushes and screams,

“What the hell, Naruto, we are too old to cuddle like that!”

Naruto sits up and stares at him in disbelief. “Wh― I wasn’t cuddling you! I move a lot in my sleep and you  _ know  _ it, and you were lying too close! Why were you here? Your futon is over there!” He points at the abandoned futon behind Sasuke’s back, and Sasuke’s face reddens even more. From anger or embarrassment it is hard to say with him.

“It was too hot, the floor was cooler.”

“Well, then don’t blame me,” Naruto sits on his heels and folds his arms.

“You put your leg on me ― I  _ will _ blame you!”

“You were in the way of my leg because you moved too close! And I didn’t ask you to  _ cuddle _ it!”

“I wasn’t  _ cuddling  _ it!”

“You said yourself―” 

“Boys!” Kushina’s voice interrupts their fussing, Naruto bites the inside of his cheek and looks up.

“Yes, mom?”

He can see Sasuke from the corner of his eye, his cheeks are still flushed and he is clearly avoiding to look at Naruto. Naruto wonders if this situation genuinely upsets him, and is not sure why. Not that it was Naruto who crawled his way to him to grab onto one of his limbs… 

“You have a training in an hour, in case you’ve forgotten. You can leave your silly arguments until after you’ve done with it.”

Naruto wants to argue about “silly” part, but he knows she is right, and he just silently stands up and stretches. Sasuke is already on his feet, and, mumbling, “I’ll take a quick shower”, he rushes out of the room. 

Naruto makes a move to the door, thinking he might as well start with a breakfast, but Kushina stops him, closes the door and leans at it. She folds her arms and looks at Naruto thoughtfully, and Naruto swallows, trying to figure out what exactly has gotten him into trouble.

“He does have a point, you know,” she says.

“About what?”

“About cuddles. Actually, I would even say you are too old for sleepovers in general.”

It is too close to what Naruto was thinking just a moment ago, and he looks to the side, saying under his breath more in spite, than actually attempting to argue,

“Since when sleepovers have an age limit?”

“Since you both clearly have feelings for each other.”

This makes him look up, thinking that his mother might be laughing at him, but her face is serious and she is watching him attentively.

“I wouldn't say ‘both’,” he says. There is hardly any point in denying his own feelings, since his relationship with Sasuke in his first life is not exactly the secret among those who know about the time-travel.

Kushina sighs and her lips tilt in a smile. “Naruto, dear, you are certainly not the sharpest kunai in a pouch―”

“Hey!”

“―but even you should see the obvious,” she finishes and her eyes soften.

“That was so mean!” Naruto pouts half-heartedly and Kushina laughs lightly.

“I’m sorry, dear. Do you see my point?”

Naruto sighs, attempts to put his hands in the pockets only to be reminded once again that his pajama pants don’t have any, and wraps his arms around himself instead.

“Yeah, alright. I’ll tell him.”

“Tell him what?”

“That we shouldn't have sleepovers anymore.”

He feels a hand in his hair, petting his head gently and looks up in his mother’s smiling eyes.

“Oh, my silly, silly boy. It is a wonder to me how both you and Kakashi being otherwise so mature, manage to stay so childishly naive and oblivious,” she says softly and Naruto pouts, partially because he disagrees with the childish part and partially because he knows his mom will kiss his nose and cheeks when he does it. 

Kushina laughs, looking at him knowingly and plants several kisses at his cheeks.

“What do you mean?” Naruto asks because he doesn’t really understand, but his mother just shakes her head, pets his cheek and says,

“You’ll figure it out.”

Naruto is not really sure what’s happening, but he figures it can wait, since this might be a good moment to ask her about Kakashi. He opens his mouth, but is not able to say anything, because Kushina looks down at his pants, frowns and asks,

“Why your pajama is so dirty?”

Naruto closes his mouth, opens it again, and lets out an awkward laugh.

“Actually, I wanted to talk about it.”

“About how you got your pajama so dirty?”

“Yes. No. I mean, partially,” he rubs the back of his neck and asks, “Why, do you think, Kakashi doesn’t want to tell Obito?” There is no need to clarify what exactly, they all are too well aware of Kakashi’s zealous work toward preventing Obito from knowing.

“Aside from sparing him the knowledge that he was a homicidal maniac?” 

“Whoa, that’s not how I’d phrase it, but yeah, aside from that.”

Kushina hums, folds her arms and contemplates for a moment.

“I think he is scared,” she answers and Naruto tilts his brows.

“Of what?”

“That Obito would blame him for what happened.”

“What? Why would he?!”

“Oh, he certainly wouldn’t, but as far as I know Kakashi still blames himself, so he expects the same from others.”

Naruto’s first reaction is to argue, because just the mere idea doesn’t sit well with him. Never in his first life nor here did he blame Kakashi for anything. He was a victim of circumstances, the same way Obito was, and surely Kakashi, being smart as he is, should see that. Naruto already opens his mouth, but then shuts it, remembering the conversation he had with the man last night, and suddenly what Kushina said makes much more sense. 

Both Kakashi and Itachi have this weird martyr complex that Naruto doesn’t entirely understand. It is certainly more justified in Itachi’s case, but Kakashi didn’t do anything of a sort, and when Itachi just pragmatically compensates it with taking a better care of his loved ones not really bothered of what anyone might think about him, Kakashi most definitely prefers to add self-reproach to it and, as Kushina said, expects others to feel the same toward him.

It is as stupid as it is ridiculous. This man clearly needs someone to show him that he is very, very wrong. And the best person for that is Obito.

Telling Obito or not is not a question for Naruto anymore, but to decide how exactly to do it is what he thinks more important now.

“...also, I think even if he wanted to, now, he is even more scared.” His mother’s voices shakes him from his musings and he wonders if he actually missed something that she was saying. 

“Why?”

“It’s been too long,” she answers. “If anything, he should’ve told him years ago. Now he knows that Obito will be angry that he’s been hiding this for such a long time.”

“Kakashi doesn’t know what’s good for him,” Naruto sighs. 

He is upset it all came to this, when he clearly has to plot behind his friend’s back, when he has to break the promise he gave him three years ago, when he most certainly need to pull other people in this plan. 

He is upset that he didn’t get here earlier, when perhaps it would’ve been much easier for Kakashi. He is upset that he wasn’t able to help him long time ago.

“Yes, I believe he has this problem,” Kushina answers, and in her eyes Naruto can see the reflection of his own worry. 

He chews on his lip, breaths out and straightens his shoulders.

“I want to tell Obito,” he says. “What Kakashi is doing is stupid and unfair. Obito has a right to know. And I know, it will be good for Kakashi as well, he just doesn’t realise it.”

Kushina studies his face for a moment and then asks,

“What brought this on? You’ve been here for almost three years. Why now?”

It is a legitimate question and Naruto shouldn’t really be surprised that his mother questions his reasons and motives. He contemplates telling her about the Sharingan, but it is different than why he went to Itachi and Shisui with this, and there is no particular reason for him to keep spreading Kakashi’s secret now.

“Kakashi told me something last night. I can’t tell you though, I’m sorry,” he says.

Kushina nods and smiles. “Well, at least it looks like you managed to crack his shell a bit, I’m glad. No need to tell me. Although, I believe if you go on with your plan, Kakashi would definitely insist of you telling everything to Sasuke as well,” she says.

He thought about it. Not too deep but it grazed his mind that it is only fair that Kakashi would expect or even demand this from him. Naruto hasn’t really expected to keep this a secret from Sasuke forever. But the thing is, it is not his secret to tell. Not in a way Kakashi might think he owns the rights on what Obito knows and what doesn’t. It is different for them. There was nothing in Kakashi’s past that could objectively put a blame on him for what Obito became. 

Itachi, on the other hand, was the one who made Sasuke who he was. And when Naruto is sure that Obito will not hold anything against Kakashi even if he wouldn’t be the one to reveal him this secret, he can’t really predict how Sasuke would react after learning, that someone who he considers ideal now, was the clan-slayer in the past. 

“It is not my place to do it,” Naruto says gravely.

“Itachi?” Kushina asks, and Naruto just nods.

“Kakashi would say it is not your place to tell Obito either.”

Naruto knows she is not questioning this, but rather making him think about his motives. It is a lot, what he is planning to do. He knows he needs to be absolutely sure, that it’s the right course.

“He would, but he himself would never do it. So someone else should.”

“What about Itachi? Do you think he is ready to tell Sasuke?”

Naruto takes a moment to think about it. Thing is, it is always hard to say with Itachi. Naruto knows he is protecting Sasuke from this knowledge rather than he is afraid of being judged by him. But Itachi told Shisui. It is not the same, but it’s the step. Perhaps…

“I don’t know. I hope so.” He really does. He doesn’t like the idea of lying to Sasuke like that for the rest of their lives. He doesn’t want to find himself on Kakashi’s place when it has already been way too many years and lost opportunities to reveal the truth before it has gotten so old, that no matter how he presents it he will still be a liar. He doesn’t like the idea of having to endlessly suppress his feelings for Sasuke because it is unfair to show them while Sasuke doesn’t even have a clear understanding of who Naruto really is.

Lies. He doesn’t like them. There were too many lies in his life, around him. Lies made Naruto be alone and unloved for so many years. Lies made both Sasuke and Obito what they were. Lies destroyed families and ruined the lives of the people he loved, lies led to their deaths and his own.

Lies were everything that was wrong in his previous life. He can’t allow this in this one.

“We’ll tell Obito. And we’ll tell Sasuke,” Naruto says. He contemplates for a moment, and then looks at his mother with determination. “And then I’ll  _ tell _ Sasuke. And let him decide.”

His mother smiles warmly, tilts her head and asks,

“Tell him what?”

“That,” Naruto answers, feeling his cheeks heat up under his mother’s knowing gaze. “What you were talking about earlier.”

Kushina’s smile widens and she reaches to ruffle Naruto’s head.

“You are not as silly as you often present yourself,” she says and Naruto mirrors her smile.

“No, I guess I’m not."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this chapter clears some air. Please let me know if you now feel a bit more comfortable with the idea of Naruto telling Obito the truth, and if not, please explain me why to help me better understand -- it might give me ideas of how to handle this better in the following chapters.
> 
> I'm looking forward to your feedback. Especially from those, who commented on the previous chapter.

**Author's Note:**

> Please, drop me a line in the comments to let me know what you think, it will make my day! ^_^
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**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Hidden, but not forgotten](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14763149) by [Himeneka](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Himeneka/pseuds/Himeneka)




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